October 12

I am exhausted. Working for the Prime Minister is no joke. I barely have any time to breathe let alone sleep. Hyoyeon is supporting me as much as she can but in the last few days the only things I have time to do after work is a quick shower and sleep. I haven’t even written in this diary for five days already.

So let’s take things from the start. So many things happened that I have to force myself to write them in a logical order instead of jumping from one topic to the other. I organized my memories of the events according to who they relate and not when they happened so that’s how I’m going to write them down here as well.

First of all, the person that has the strongest presence in my life right now, Kyuhyun. He is a strict boss but fair with all the people working for him. It was the third day I had been working for him when I finally got to meet his wife.

I think it was three hours before lunch when Yoona and her younger sister walked in the office. I didn’t check if they had an appointment – there is no reason to check if Kyuhyun’s wife has an appointment. I greeted them politely but all I could do was stare at Seohyun. She is just gorgeous. If Yoona and Yuri are considered pretty, their sister is absolutely beautiful. She has long dark hair that frames her perfect face and compliments her porcelain skin. No wonder Kyuhyun married her, they match each other perfectly. Just thinking about her makes me feel self-conscious.  

Yoona was hostile towards me like the last time I saw her but Seohyun is an angel. She is so elegant and polite and respectful and so innocent looking. If I was a man I would have fallen for her too. Kyuhyun was surprised to see them but immediately offered to get them something to drink or eat.

I couldn’t help but notice that both his attention and Yoona’s were on Seohyun more than anything else. I prepared coffee and some snacks for them and served them. Seohyun was redecorating their house and she wanted to ask Kyuhyun his opinion. He answered to all her questions and offered some ideas but honestly he looked bored.

Somehow, even though Seohyun is the most perfect human being I have ever met, Kyuhyun seems completely emotionless when he is with her. When he is working he is full of energy and he often shows his playful bratty side but not in front of his wife.

The media often portray their relationship as perfect but even I can see that there is a cold atmosphere between them when they are alone.

That day Kyuhyun asked me to book a table in one of the most expensive restaurants in the city for lunch and of course I called and booked a table for four right away. Seohyun looked excited that she was having lunch with both her sisters and Kyuhyun and urged Yoona to take her to the Squad’s headquarters to meet Yuri.

After they left Kyuhyun had a meeting with the Minister of Economy so I was left alone in the office. Lunch time was soon and I didn’t want to eat alone so I called Jessica and asked if she wanted to have lunch together. She accepted right away and I promised to meet her in her office. I had a lot of fun with her, now that we don’t work together we don’t have to be so uptight around each other.

The big surprise though came when I returned to the office.

Kyuhyun was sitting in my desk when I came in and he looked ready to fall asleep. I coughed to get his attention and his head snapped in my direction. I saw his eyes looking surprised at me for a moment and then he got up and grabbed me from my shoulders.

“Sunny, where have you been? Do you have any idea how worried I was?” we locked eyes and I could feel his hands trembling. Worried? Why would he be worried about me?

“I just went out for lunch. The question is why are you here? I thought you were having lunch with your wife and her sisters” I answered trying to keep my voice steady. The effect this man has on me scares me. No matter how much dangerous he is and no matter how much I hate him, at times like this he brings my soft side out.

“What? No, I asked you to book a table for only the three of them” he sighed and backed away from me. I saw him reaching behind the desk and he showed me the trashcan filled with food. I couldn’t understand what this meant, why was he still here? What was that food doing in there?

“I thought that you wouldn’t want to eat alone since it’s still your first week here. I brought food so we could eat together but you had already disappeared. The food got cold while I was waiting for you and I had to throw it away” he said in an accusing tone.

My first reaction was to feel ashamed. He went through all this trouble for me? I felt my blood rush to my face but it froze in my veins when I remembered the last time I had to throw away food because it got cold, when Tiffany had visited Jessica. Two days before Kyuhyun threatened Jessica. Almost ten days before Tiffany was arrested and sent to prison for questioning. Any kind of affectionate feelings I had for him were suppressed by my anger but my logic was screaming to me that I had to keep calm and show no signs of my real feelings.

I thanked him and apologized making sure my head was slightly lowered so I was looking at him through my eyelashes. I gave him my most innocent smile and asked him if he wanted me to get him something to eat. He fell for it. His body relaxed again and he showed me his childish side. He opened his mouth to answer but he was interrupted by Choi Sooyoung and her brother, Choi Siwon, bursting in the office. Without an appointment. Is it something that all ministers do? Not giving a crap about other people’s schedule?

I didn’t have much time to think about that since both of them started screaming at Kyuhyun and then yelling at each other and then back at Kyuhyun. From what I got Choi Sooyoung was opposed to one of her brother’s plans.

Kyuhyun tried to calm them down and asked them to discuss everything in his office. He specifically told me that no one was allowed to interrupt them. Déjà vu much?

And of course like the curious person I am I could do nothing else but quietly approach the door and overhear their conversation. One of the best things about working for Kyuhyun is that there are no security cameras in his office. How lucky!

I could easily hear Kyuhyun’s clear voice and Choi Sooyoung was still talking quite loudly but Choi Siwon’s voice was close to a whisper. I couldn’t make out what he was saying but I could easily guess. Based on what Kyuhyun and Sooyoung said I came to the conclusion that Siwon wanted to have the citizens pay more taxes. Sooyoung was against this, she thought that the citizens had no money to spare to eat not to mention pay extra taxes. Kyuhyun didn’t take either’s side, yet he told them that he had met the Minister of Economy that day. He asked that they had another meeting, with all the minister’s this time and then vote. If the majority was in favour of Siwon’s plan then it would be up for voting in the parliament and they would make the final decision.

A fair enough decision if you ask me even though the plan itself was completely unfair. But I guess when people like Siwon and Kyuhyun have gotten used to power and wealth, their greed has no limits. I was more surprised that Sooyoung defended the citizens. Maybe I misjudged her? Hyoyeon has always said that she looks like a pretty nice person.

Now for the event that is not related to Kyuhyun. My dear diary, remember when I wrote that Nicole and Narsha are following me and Hyoyeon around? That they never leave us alone? Well Narsha doesn’t do that anymore, but not because she doesn’t want to. She can’t.

Yesterday I came back from the office more tired than usual. Kyuhyun asked me to plan the meeting with all the Ministers myself and it’s no easy task. I spent all day on the phone, ordering food and trying to reach either Yoona or Yuri to ask for guards and I also had to call all of the Ministers and invite them. But that’s not the point here.

The point is that as I climbed my tired body up the stairs and into my room I noticed a difference. At first I thought that I was just seeing things so I shook my head and looked again but I was right. I counted again to make sure. One, two, three, three, three…

My head didn’t want to accept what my eyes were seeing. One, two, three. Three beds. Not four. One of the beds was missing. Narsha’s bed. Hyoyeon entered behind me and I looked to her for answers. She just shook her head. I nodded. There was nothing I could do anymore. Narsha disappeared and most of the people around us have already forgotten she even existed. Nicole remembers though. I can see it in the hatred that fills her eyes whenever she looks at me, and the way her hands curl into fists whenever I meet her. She blames me for Narsha and she wants revenge.

Now, more than ever, Hyoyeon and I need to leave. Originally we were planning on finding an apartment as close to the center as we could afford but that doesn’t apply anymore. We are desperate. We left in search of a place to rent for a short while until we have enough money to buy a decent home. Hyoyeon found a small shady apartment that is in the middle part of the city. It’s ridiculously cheap considering its location but the building is very old and the apartment itself has only three rooms, a bathroom, a kitchen and a common room. For now this is the best we can afford, so we’ll take it. Tomorrow we are moving to Foggy Grove Street.