November 19

Jessica was surprised to see me in her office to say the least. If I didn’t know better I would have thought that she panicked when I walked through the door; but then she smiled warmly at me again and rushed me in, closing the door behind me so we could have a little privacy.

I wasn’t sure how to start the conversation. Taeyeon said Jessica is kind of a grey zone – whatever that means. Well she was working with Tiffany though. I didn’t know if it was okay to mention Taeyeon so instead I gave her a brief summary of what went down between me and Sooyoung.

Jessica at first didn’t make any comments. She raised her eyebrow looking at me questioningly, almost as if she didn’t believe me while I stood there waiting for some kind of explanation.

“I didn’t know Sooyoung was interested in football,” Jessica finally said laughing nervously. She was looking at everything but me.

“I don’t think she was talking about football,” I said trying to press her to give me the answers I wanted.

“Whatever she was talking about, it’s none of your business, is it Sunny?” she asked turning her suddenly cold eyes on me.

I was shocked for a moment. I didn’t know that Jessica could be that cold with me. I thought we were friends.

She must have regretted her own words though because she apologized right away. She looked ashamed of herself and hid her face in her hands embarrassed. I got up and walked around her desk until I was standing right next to her. I kneeled and tried to get her to look at me. At first she resisted but soon she raised her teary eyes to meet mine.

“I’m so sorry Sunny,” she repeated in a low, choked voice.

“Yeah, I know.”

She released a long sigh and stayed silent for a couple of seconds. “There are so many things at stake right now,” she said but I had the feeling she was talking more to herself than me.

I rubbed her back soothingly to encourage her to go on.

“It’s not just my life,” she said hesitantly. “If it was just about me I would have no regret playing with Sooyoung’s team,” she continued, a bitter smile tugging at her lips. “But there’s also my sister and even my parents. They are such great people Sunny and they have showed me and Krystal only kindness and love,” she told me clutching my hand desperately as if she was afraid I was not going to believe her.

“Please try to understand, try to understand how much I am scared for them. If I leave there is no guarantee that Kyuhyun or Siwon won’t target them just to punish me,” she told me looking quickly at the door, probably afraid that somebody might be eavesdropping.

The look in her eyes reminded me of what I saw every time I looked in the mirror the first few days after Hyomin disappeared. I knew the pain of not knowing, I knew that the tears never really stopped; and I didn’t want that for Jessica.

“I understand,” I told her eventually, hoping to calm her down.

And then it was like she snapped. She grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me violently. “You have to leave Sunny, leave now that you can,” she said in such a low voice that I could barely hear her. “The worst has yet to come. I am already trapped here but there’s still hope for you,” she pleaded locking eyes with me.

“Jessica, I can’t just get up and leave. I’m working for Kyuhyun now,” I told her. And I’m in love with him and I think he returns my feelings, I added in my head but I could never tell her something like that.

“So what if you’re working for him? It’s not like he’s got you chained to his office. There’s nothing to threaten you with,” she said. If only she knew. My face had turned to a mask of pure sadness mirroring Jessica’s expression. Her words hurt like daggers but I accepted them because they were true.

If I leave and take Hyoyeon with me, neither Kyuhyun nor Siwon can harm me. I don’t have any family or friends; only Kyuhyun. He is the only one I have and I can’t even be sure about that.

There were so many thoughts in my head at the moment but more than anything I had to help Jessica first. Because the way I saw it, she was dangerously close to losing her mind. She was under more stress and fear than I would have ever imagined. Now that I know better, I’m half expecting to see her shooting herself in front of the Parliament House like that old man a few weeks ago if she keeps going like that.

“Jessica,” I said trying to calm her down. “You have a choice too. Take your parents and take your sister too. Leave this country as soon as you can.”

Jessica shook her head. I’m not sure if she didn’t want to hear me or if she meant that it was impossible for her to do so.

“Jessica, you are a Minister. Just put them in a plane or something and send them to another country where they will be safe. Then you can do whatever you want without worrying about them.”

“They’ll find them no matter where they are,” Jessica said and looked desperately at me trying to make me understand her.

“But they don’t have any kind of power in other countries Jessica,” I exclaimed frustrated that she had already given up.

Jessica turned and looked outside the window. When she finally faced me again her expression had hardened, making her look more determined than I knew she felt. “No power? How do you think the same party has stayed in power so many years?” she asked me making an effort to keep her voice low. “The other countries know how to get things done their way, if it wasn’t for their own advantage this parody of democracy would have ended decades ago,” she hissed.

“They will find them Sunny, they will find them no matter where I hide them,” she said with a tone of finality to her voice.

“They still haven’t found the revolutionary army though, have they?” I asked her trying to talk some sense into her.

“Taeyeon is a very smart woman, maybe not as smart as Kyuhyun but definitely more resourceful and sly as a fox. If she wanted she could probably hide a whole village inside Kyuhyun’s bedroom and he wouldn’t notice” Jessica said and I couldn’t help but notice that she sounded strange when she said that, like she couldn’t decide if that was a good or a bad thing. I didn't dare to ask how she was so sure I knew who Taeyeon was. 

“Then ask for her help. Please Jessica, you are going to destroy yourself in the end,” I pleaded with her as much as I could. “If not for you, do it for Krystal,” I said making use of her weakness.

“I don’t know Sunny, I don’t know. What if this whole revolution fails and then they are in more danger?” Jessica said unsurely.

“It’s better to have lived free for an hour than to have spent your entire life being squeezed like an ant under the boots of a selected few,” I repeated what I had read in a book a couple of years ago.

I think that my words convinced her; or at least they made her consider all her options. She nodded her head and smiled softly at me.

I had been kneeling beside her all this time and my legs had started to hurt. I slowly got up and as she copied me I opened my arms to hug her. She eagerly let me close my arms around her and she clung to me like it was the last time we would see each other.

When we were finally looking at each other she patted my head the same way she would do to a young child. “Get away as fast as you can Sunny. Save yourself,” she told me again.

“There are a few things I still have to do. But promise me you will take care of yourself,” I said feeling like I was saying goodbye.

“You are a lot like a sister to me Sunny,” Jessica sighed. “We are very close to a civil war, and it will be much deadlier than the Great War,” she said like it was a prophecy.

I felt a shiver down my spine as her warm eyes searched my face like she was trying to memorise it. “You’ve stayed here too long. People will get suspicious,” she finally said giving me one last hug.

I left without saying goodbye because I was scared that goodbye might mean forever. I think she understood and shared my thoughts because she didn’t say any farewell words either.

On the way home I was alone with my thoughts. I kept my head low and was walking fast but I had so many things to think about that I didn’t realise how much time had passed until I found myself standing in front of the apartment door.

Hyoyeon came two hours later and fell exhausted on the couch. The first thing that came out of was a question about food. I am getting used to Hyoyeon paying attention only to the problems that she has to face right now. Even if a war starts in five minutes she wouldn’t worry about it until it was right outside our door.

Hyoyeon is a rock in the stormy ocean that is my life. She always seems to stand firm, facing each and every wave without faltering.  I don’t know what I would have done without her.

I was in the tiny kitchen making a sandwich for her, thinking how even though we were all alone in the world we were doing a pretty good job at surviving when it occurred to me. We were alone; too alone.

I walked towards the small window next to the front door and peered outside.

“What happened to my sandwich?” Hyoyeon complained.

I ignored her question and instead searched my memories, counting the days since somebody had followed me in the streets. “Hyoyeon when was the last time you saw Nicole?”

Hyoyeon looked at me puzzled and then thought for a few moments. “I don’t know, probably a couple of weeks ago,” she answered half-heartedly. “Why?”

“Because I haven’t seen her either.”

“Good, maybe she got bored of stalking us and decided to find another victim to torture in the orphanage.”

“I hope you are right,” I said having a heavy feeling hanging over my head. I hadn’t noticed when that happened, but somewhere along the way, Nicole had disappeared. I just hope she only disappeared only from our lives and not from the face of the earth. 

~ ~ ~ ~

I'm sorry, the SunSica fan inside me got the best of me for a moment T.T

Btw guys, I entered JannCakes Short Story Contest

My story is a JongSica TwoShot so check it out if you have time

all of you should consider entering the contest beacuse the prizes are huge and it'll be a great challenge for everyone ^^

you can submit/edit your story until October 31 so you have plenty of time