November 28

I woke up today only to find out that Hyoyeon still wasn’t back. I was worried sick for her. All this crazy scenarios ran through my head of what might have happened to her. She could have been caught by the Disciplinary Squad or she may be injured.

Or she just might be mad at me. But that’s the scariest of all the possibilities. Because Hyoyeon is my first real friend. She is the only person I have talked to about my deepest secrets and thoughts, well except that tiny issue involving Kyuhyun but that’s not so easy to admit; I can hardly admit it to myself. If I’m the reason she is not coming back then I’ve messed up big time, I’ve hurt the only person who has been there for me all along.

The only positive thought I could have was that if Hyoyeon really was so upset with me that she doesn’t want to come back home then at least she is safe somewhere out there.

The apartment was cold - colder than usual – and quiet. Almost suffocatingly quiet. Without Hyoyeon there to smile brightly and chatter away while we were getting ready to leave, the small space felt like a cage that I was trapped into.  

I changed clothes quickly and left without eating anything. Every step away from that apartment took me away from my guilt as well. I held onto the thought that Hyoyeon would come back today. That I would finish with work and when I got back home she’d be there; maybe she wouldn’t be talking to me but at least I would know that she is okay.

I arrived at the Red Square with that kind of thoughts. As everyone did lately, instead of walking to the main entrance of the Parliament House I circled the square walking behind the protestors. I searched quickly among the people close to me but I couldn’t see Hyoyeon anywhere. I entered the Royal Gardens and walked until I reached the back side of the House of Parliament. The door there was usually used by members of the Disciplinary Squad coming from their HQ or congressmen that wanted to take a walk in the Gardens. Now everyone uses it. It’s the only entrance not blocked by protesters.

I got to the office only to find Kyuhyun in frenzy. He was walking up and down the office searching through drawers, my drawers as well – thank God I never leave my diary there. He wasn’t alone in the office, Yoona was there looking her usual cold self but her eyes glinted with concern. There were a dozen members of the Squad standing in front of me at the door waiting for their orders. When I finally got past them and managed to enter the office I recognized a few of them as members of Kyuhyun’s personal guards.

I greeted them with a nod of my head like I had gotten used to – it doesn’t matter if I do it since they never respond to me anyway – and turned my full attention to Kyuhyun.

“Is everything all right Mr. President?” I asked while I tried to stay out of his way. I saw from the corner of my eye Yoona scrunch up her nose displeased, probably because of my presence but chose to ignore it.

“Sunny, there you are. I need you,” Kyuhyun proclaimed after giving me only one glance.

“Anything to help you Mr. President,” I answered and carefully made my way through the mess of papers on the floor.

“I’m meeting the Minister of Finances in two hours and I can’t find the documents I need,” he yelled without stopping going through drawers.

“A meeting with the Minister of Finances? But there’s nothing on my schedule,” I said trying to make some sense out of his words.

“He called and scheduled it yesterday night after you left.” Kyuhyun finally decided that the documents he was looking for weren’t in the office. He strode out and I as well as Yoona and all of her men followed him closely behind.

I decided not to look any further into the matter of the last minute meeting; Sooyoung would know more about it anyway. “What documents are you searching for?” I asked Kyuhyun trying to keep up with him.

Kyuhyun continued to rush through the halls towards the back door as I came to realise. “That plans I had for a few changes in the taxing system,” he said and came to a sudden stop.

Yoona and her men were perfectly trained to expect anything from anyone and so easily stopped at the same time as him but I almost tripped on my own legs trying not to fall on him.

Kyuhyun turned slowly to look behind him. “Why are all of you following me?” he asked us like he had just noticed us. I wasn’t sure if I should answer. I mean Yoona’s men didn’t really talk so it was either me or her that would have to answer. To my surprise Yoona’s voice filled the silence that followed his question in a stern tone, similar to a teacher scolding one of her students.

“We are making sure you are safe Mr. President,” she said emphasizing the word we – I was obviously not included. “I don’t know why she followed.”

“Funny, usually there are only two of you outside my office and two waiting to me outside and I send those away. Why are there so many of you today,” Kyuhyun asked and I could tell he was annoyed. I just didn’t know if he was annoyed because of us or because he couldn’t find his papers.

“There are always so many of us, it’s just that you send us away every day,” Yoona said in a monotonous voice.

“Because I don’t need you. The citizens aren’t going to attack me. Go do something else. If you insist I need protection just you will be enough Yoona,” Kyuhyun declared and then began towards the exit of the building yet again.

Yoona followed him closely behind. “You guys can my secretary back to the office and then go guard somebody else. Sunny keep looking in the office for the papers and call me if you find them,” Kyuhyun yelled before he disappeared with her around the corner.

The men kept their faces completely expressionless. They stood behind me for the few seconds I was left to look at the spot he had been standing a few moments ago and followed me like loyal dogs all the way back to the office.

Like usual only two of them were left to stand outside the office – I have no idea how they decided who stays and who leaves without talking – and the rest of them left, probably in search for Yuri to get their new orders.

When the door closed behind me I took a look around and bit my lower lip in desperation. Even if the documents Kyuhyun was looking for were in the room, there was no way I could find them. I sighed and started picking up papers from the floor. I guess being a secretary means that I have to do a maid’s job as well from times to times.

I went around the office cleaning absentmindedly. My thoughts were once again consumed by worry and guilt for Hyoyeon. But I was suddenly pulled back to reality when I reached Kyuhyun’s desk. My breath got caught in my throat as I froze in place and my brain took an extra second to process exactly what I was seeing.

Apparently in his hurry to find the papers Kyuhyun had even looked through the drawer in his desk that he always kept locked – the one Siwon caught me trying to open. My eyes quickly shifted between the drawer and the door. I didn’t know where Kyuhyun had gone. He could be back any second. But this was an opportunity I couldn’t pass on.

I left the papers I was holding on the desk and kneeled on the floor. I quickly went through the papers on the floor but there was nothing suspicious about them. Only after I had skimmed through all the papers on the floor, did I finally turn my attention to the drawer. I didn’t have to search for long. The first paper I caught appeared to be exactly what I had been looking for; even if I had no idea up until that moment what I had been looking for.

At first I was surprised at my finds so I quickly checked the rest of the documents in the drawer to be sure that I hadn’t understood something wrong but they only further proved my assumptions. Without a second thought I grabbed the papers and ran to the photocopier, making a copy of every single document. I threw them in my bag and returned the originals to their place before doing anything else. Then a thought occurred to me and just to be sure I picked up the pile of papers I had left on Kyuhyun’s desk and scattered a few around it.

Then I went back towards the door and pretended to still be cleaning up that area. Only two minutes later Kyuhyun returned with Yoona right behind him.

“Sunny, you don’t have to search anymore, I found them in my car,” he announced proudly. I thought I saw Yoona smiling behind him at his childish enthusiasm but the next second she had her poker face back on.

My brain needed a few moments to catch up with what he was saying. With the shock of my find, I had completely forgotten about the documents Kyuhyun was searching for.

“Great,” I said trying to look natural. I hope it worked. Kyuhyun was so excited that he didn’t spare me a second glance as he was counting, for the umpteenth time I can imagine, the papers to make sure he had them all of them but Yoona squinted her eyes ever so slightly.

“I think it’s time to go,” she said in her monotonous voice. “The paparazzi will be here any moment to take pictures of the meeting between the Prime Minister and the Minister of Finances,” she reminded Kyuhyun who nodded in agreement.

“Sunny, while I’m gone, call Siwon’s secretary and reschedule our meeting for two hours later and also make sure you arrange for a meeting with Jung as well sometime today,” he told me and fixed his hair and suit to make sure he would look perfect in the photos.

“Sir, your schedule for today is full, I don’t see how I could fit in a meeting with Mrs. Jung-“ I began, ignoring how cold my body felt when Kyuhyun mentioned Siwon.

“Whatever you think you can cancel, cancel it,” he said and then turned to leave. Yoona rolled her eyes and ran behind him once again.

Once they were gone and I had the time to think about my discovery and realise its importance my legs started to shake. My knees were so weak that I was afraid I was going to collapse on the floor. I supported my weight on the desk as I tried to figure out what to do next.

If I took the documents to Sooyoung then Kyuhyun, Siwon and a bunch of other ministers and congressmen were in for some big trouble. The problem was that Siwon would easily figure out who betrayed them and he had the resources to make me disappear from the face of the earth in one night.

Focus Sunny, focus, I commanded myself and with gritted teeth I closed my eyes and breathed until I was sure I had complete control of my body again. Whether I died or not, it was my responsibility to take these to Sooyoung. This is what she was hoping for when she told me to spy on Kyuhyun. This is also what I was scared I would find if I searched deeper than just overhearing his conversation.

But Hyoyeon’s words were still echoing in my mind. I couldn’t play safe anymore. Maybe she’d forgive me if she found out about what I was about to do. Maybe she would start thinking of me, if not as a friend, as an ally again.

I don’t want to betray Kyuhyun, I dread the moment I walk through the library’s doors to give Sooyoung the evidence she needs to overthrow this government. I have to do it but I also know that I will forever be guilty of betraying him. I will do the right thing but that doesn’t mean I’m happy I’m doing it.

I wish I had found something different. I wish Kyuhyun didn’t have those documents. But he does and I am running out of excuses for him.

I don’t know what he discussed with Siwon, I don’t even know what he discussed with Jessica. I spent the rest of the day in a sort of trance. I was answering to him as naturally as possible but still my mind was miles away. I hardly spoke to him when he drove me home at night and I responded with difficulty when he kissed me goodnight.

I felt like a corpse dragging its lifeless limps as I climbed the stairs. Hyoyeon still isn’t back. I’m getting more and more worried about her.

I’m scared that I will change my mind, that I will get scared at the last second and throw away the precious evidence. But the memory of the hate in Hyoyeon’s eyes motivates me to prove her wrong. To get the documents to Sooyoung. To put my life on the line. 

~ ~ ~ 

A.N.

*Warning* It's looong!

Is suffocatingly an actual word? Because I can't seem to find an answer to that. 

Serlock Holmes OST is sooo perfect for this fic's theme song T-T It's what I'm listening to while I'm writing.

BTW, one of my subscribers asked me to make a poster but I lost the conversation during the recent crush T_T. I messaged one of my suspects but I never got an answer back. So if you see this, message me again. The poster is almost ready (just can't remeber a few characters.)

@Kyusunlover OMG you are back! Hadn't seen you around in a while. I'm so happy you are still following this. You were one of my first subscribers. (2nd if I'm not mistaken)