“Suzy…Suzy…please.” Myungsoo croaked, his voice turning weak from the calls. He stopped trying, realizing that Suzy would have to come at some stage. The only escape route was a tiny window and the only person that could possibly get through would be a tiny baby.

Myungsoo slid down the door of the bathroom and he faced the hallway, deep in thought. He placed his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands in regret.

Suzy bit her lip. What point was there now? What could she do? What was the use of living anyway? She wondered whether the live of the dead was better than her situation now. She came to a conclusion that it had to be – she was nothing now. It would make the pain go away, wouldn’t it?

“Come out! I’ll break this ing door!”

“You won’t,” Suzy murmured, just loud enough for Myungsoo to hear.

Suzy reached for her phone from her pocket and fumbled with the keypad. She hesitated before sending a message to Min.

Painkillers help make pain go away, right?

Almost instantly, she received a reply.

Course. What’s up? You haven’t talked to me in so long. >< Where are you at lunchtimes anyway? Jia unnie is sorta worried. Don’t avoid us, kay?

At this moment, Suzy felt very tempted to go outside of the locked bathroom – past Myungsoo and perhaps bury herself in the medicine cabinets. But there was a problem; he would probably stop her. Then she would waver and hesitate, then give up and go back into Myungsoo’s arms.

Oh Myungsoo’s safe arms, where she felt that nothing else mattered at all. Like Myungsoo was the only thing she could see and all the unnecessary stress would stay nonexistent and where she would only feel Myungsoo’s lips on hers.

Her eyes found its way to a small cupboard above the sink. Bingo.

But then again, wouldn’t it be something, if she died just then and there? What a way of revenge, what a way to tell Myungsoo how much she hated him now. Her fingers clutched the glass bottle tightly as she shook the contents, which gathered Myungsoo’s attention.

 “W-What is that?” She heard more jiggling of the doorknob and then the bang of a fist.

Suzy opened the bottle and jerked the bottle slightly, allowing each capsule to tick against the glass container.

“Just a few anti-depressants. Bottle is less than half full. No harm, right?”

“D-Don’t threaten yourself. You-You know you can’t do it.” Suzy froze for a few seconds. She hesitated, but then began to feel afraid. What if having no existence hurt even more? What if leaving her body in a lifeless mess was something bad?

“P-Please; I don’t want to lose you.”

But she shook away her thoughts, as she her first pill with trembling fingers. Suzy could feel it go down slowly. Then quickly, she downed another and another.

“I don’t want to either. I guess I’m selfish; taking the easy way out,” Suzy mumbled, before she heard a crash and a heavy gravity on her head.

----

Myungsoo but his lip aggressively as he held Suzy’s hand in the ambulance. He whispered her name repeatedly, although he knew that she couldn’t hear. If she did, she refused to show it.

“I-I love you,” he spluttered.

He didn’t rush after her stretcher as the doctors pushed it into the hospital room. He knew that all people would tell him was that he should leave – and that she would be ok. He sat outside the hospital room, expressionless and looking into nothing.

“Why the did I keep them there? I haven’t even taken one in ages…because I had Suzy…”

Myungsoo didn’t want to tell them of Suzy’s condition. They would all blame him, and hate him even more. Her friend’s hadn’t even known of them getting back together. Suzy had no objection of telling them – it was just because Myungsoo was too scared. How would they react, especially Sungjong?

But he told himself that he deserved every punishment that karma threw at him. He wavered before calling Sungjong’s number. He didn’t even know if he changed it, but Sungjong definitely would have deleted him off his contact list.

“Hello?” There was a small pause, due to Myungsoo’s hesitancy. “Who is it?” He could detect the annoyance beginning to develop, from his tone of voice.

“I-It’s Myungsoo. It’s been a while…Sungjongie.”

A/N I went re-reading this fic, and I'm face-palming on how retarted my writing used to be. I'm like cringing and facepalming myself, so I shall be doing some editing. OTL