« Go in! » Seulgi gestured to the door leading to the bathroom « I’ll get you some pajamas » The storm was going off outside making the lights of the bathroom quiver. Seulgi put the pajamas on the counter while Joohyun was shivering under the blanket a bit in shock « There might be another power outage. Don’t be scared okay » Seulgi told her, biting her inner cheek at the sight of Joohyun appearing in a daze, nonetheless the smaller girl managed to nod at her. Seulgi sighed and closed the door as she got out. 

Joohyun dropped the blanket, looking at herself in the mirror, her right eyelid shaking the same as her lips. She took it upon herself to strip and got under the shower head, the water dripping on her as her sobs began. She curled up on the floor, sobbing, letting the warm water hug her reassuringly. She couldn’t understand why she had done it. She was disgusted by herself. Everything that she stood up for had crashed to the ground. She brought shame to her family. Was there redemption after that? Was there really? The worst was that she couldn’t even feel angry at Seulgi about it any more than she was angry toward herself. She remembered all the nice gestures, the nice words she had directed toward her during the day and that feeling inside her stomach came back. She closed her eyes. She wanted it to stop. She just wanted to go home and stay there for the rest of her life. 

She came out of the bathroom about an hour later, Seulgi immediately stood up from her desk « Give me your clothes, I’ll hang them to dry » She stretched her arms out but Joohyun pushed the wet clothes closer to her chest. Seulgi sighed, watching Joohyun leave the room once again. She followed her downstairs and stood afar watching her spread the clothes on the radiator. She wondered if she knew it wasn’t even on. She didn’t have the heart to tell her. 

Just to get things worse, the power went out again making Joohyun yelped.

« Stay in place » Seulgi told her and Joohyun heard her go around the room, groaning as she bumped into something again. A minute later, two candles were light up. Seulgi put one on the low table in front of the couch and kept one in hand « Let’s go back to my room, you’ll take my bed for the night » 

« I’m not going back up there and certainly not in that filthy bed » Joohyun hissed before taking place on the couch, trying to find a good sleeping position. 

Seulgi sighed without a word, knowing it was a lost cause to try to reason her. She went upstairs but came back a minute later, handing Joohyun a pillow which the girl took without looking at her. She put it under her head and Seulgi put a warm blanket over her « Good night, Joohyun » 

Joohyun watched her disappear up the stairs, the light of the candle following her and leaving only darkness behind. Joohyun looked at the candle on the table, her only source of light. She raised the blanket to her face smelling the sweet scent on it. Seulgi’s smell. She somehow found herself relaxing despite the storm outside. The house became quiet and Joohyun watched the candle flicker for some more time before she felt her eyelids getting heavier. She blew it out softly and found herself in complete darkness, a state that was reflecting her mind. But the warmth of Seulgi’s blanket made her feel protected. 

« I love you, Kang Seulgi » She unconsciously whispered as she fell asleep. 

-

When Joohyun opened her eyes, the weather seemed to have calmed down, yet as she got up and looked outside, she saw there was still a light rain. She heard Seulgi’s footsteps upstairs. She hesitated to take her clothes and ran out of the house but when she went to check on her clothes nothing had dried. She grunted in frustration. 

« I brought you a fresh pair of clothes » 

She jumped, turning around to find Seulgi at the bottom of the stairs. She had dressed up and had put her hair in a familiar bun. Joohyun gulped « I’m gonna leave » 

« I’ll drive you home. All public transports are still stopped. But you need to put on clothes first » She placed them at the end of the couch and withdrew herself « I’ll let you put them on. I’ll be waiting in the garage » She sent her a soft smile and left. Joohyun inhaled deeply and proceeded to put on the clothes Seulgi gave her. She had selected a pair of jeans that resembled hers, a dark turtle neck which Joohyun found to be an odd choice given that she had never seen Seulgi wear one before and since it was perfectly fitting her there was no way it could have been hers…..Maybe it was her mother’s. On top of that, she got her a black hoodie. This one was too large for her but it would do. It smelled like Seulgi and it was already driving her crazy. 

Seulgi had put a plastic bag underneath them with a yellow sticker that said ‘For your wet clothes’. Joohyun rolled her eyes but nonetheless took it to put her dirty clothes in. How considerate of her, she thought mockingly, yet, it warmed her heart deep down. 

She then went to the garage, finding Seulgi already inside the car, and took place in the passenger seat without a word. 

« All set? » Seulgi asked and she nodded. Seulgi nodded along, starting the car, and opened the garage door « Can I have your address? » Joohyun told her reluctantly because she had no other choice than to reveal it to her if she wanted to go home and the taller girl entered it in the GPS.

The drive was silent, Joohyun kept her gaze to her side of the car, looking outside in both fright and awe. The storm had caused a lot of damages and people were already working on cleaning it under the rain. Seulgi parked in front of the gates of the private residence she was living at after some time, however, the drive had felt short to her and it somehow saddened her a little but she would never admit that to herself. 

« I’ll give you your clothes back on Monday » Joohyun said, her hand already on the handle. 

« No need, you can keep them or throw them away. They’re old, I don’t wear them anymore » Seulgi shrugged it off. Joohyun stared at her for a second before exiting the vehicle without a word, putting up the hood to protect herself from the rain. Seulgi watched her walk up to the little guard house, she sighed a bit concerned by the situation, thinking that she had ed up royally, and drove powerlessly away. 

« Miss Bae » The guard greeted, bowing at her « Can I drive you to your house? » He flashed her his biggest grin. 

« Yes please, Mr. Go » 

Another silent drive. She thanked him once in front and entered her house. As soon as she opened the front door, her parents appeared « Oh thank god! Joohyun, where were you? We got worried. We wanted to contact you but the phones are down » 

« I’m sorry. I went to a friend’s house. We had a sleepover and I didn’t realize the storm was that close. By the time I wanted to come home, it was too late and the power went down so I couldn’t contact you either » She came up with the best lie she could on the spot. She noticed her brother and sister leaning on the balcony up the stairs observing her with grins on. They knew she lied. Thankfully, her parents weren’t as good to catch a lie or maybe they just wanted to keep the delusion of their perfect daughter on. 

« Well, I’m glad you’re alright » Her father kissed her temple « You should go finish your homework though. School is important. You need to keep your grades perfect » Of course it was what he was worried about. He was always expecting perfection. If only he knew what she had done, he would burn her at the stake.

« Of course, Dad » She sent him a fake smile and at her mother as well before she climbed the stairs. 

« Sleepover, my  » Her brother Hyun-Woo snorted, crossing his arms over his chest maliciously. 

« It was a sleepover » Joohyun grunted, walking up to her room but her sister Kyung-Mi blocked her way by standing in front of her. 

With one swift move that Joohyun didn’t see coming she lowered the collar of the turtleneck and smirked « Next you’re going to tell us it’s not a hickey but a bruise » She mocked and Joohyun’s eyes widened. She had completely forgotten about it. So that was the reason why Seulgi had given her a turtleneck « Call us stupid » Kyung-Mi withdrew her hand and Hyun-Woo chuckled behind her, coming to her side. 

« So, who is he? » He raised a questioning eyebrow « To be honest, he’s impressive. I never thought our little Joohyun would have before marriage. How did he loosen your screws? » 

« Shut up » Joohyun glared at him and pushed him away « I’m not a nun » She hissed, passing by her sister and going to hide in her room. As soon as the door closed, she leaned on it hearing muffled laughter in the hallway. She slid down, bringing her knees up to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them, a quiet sob escaping her lips « I ing hate you, Kang Seulgi » She took off Seulgi’s hoodie angrily and threw it as far as she could with a stifled cry.

-

Once she had no longer any tears left to cry, she went to her bathroom, turning on the too-bright artificial lighting. She glanced at herself in the mirror, wanting to puke in disgust. She stripped and made the mistake to look back at the mirror, her hand grazing upon the dark skin of her neck as she examined the hickey through the mirror. The memories replayed inside her mind and the sensations resurfaced. She gagged and stumbled backward, rushing toward the toilet at the back of the room, her knees crashing on the hard cold tiles as she threw up the content of her stomach. She spat her acidic saliva and flushed the mess before weakly stepping into the shower. She scrubbed her entire body until it became red, until she felt clean enough. But that seemingly purity was a lie and she knew it as soon as she faced herself in the mirror again. 

She threw all of Seulgi’s clothes at the very back of her closet, making them disappear from her sight, and tried to concentrate on her homework. Did it work? Of course not. It was a temporary distraction and nothing else, and when she went to bed and saw Seulgi’s hoodie she had forgotten about, laying in a corner of her room, she wanted to scream from the top of her lungs but as she clutched the covers, she regretted it wasn’t the blanket the taller girl had put on her the previous night. The smell was dull and cold. 

After torturing herself mentally, the last image on her mind before falling asleep was the one she hated to love so much, the one of a smiling Seulgi.

_____________________________________________________

Hey, guys! 

Hope you enjoyed? 

See you next week :)

-J