something i wrote 4 years ago HAHAAHHA GRABE ANG CRINGE

pero at that time proud na proud ako sa sarili ko niyan :(( originally seulrene, so kung may di napalitan, sorry na hehehe

"Win.."

"Hmm?"

"I miss you.."

"Aw.. 2 weeks pa lang tayong nagkahiwalay.. miss na agad?"

"Hey, I'm used to seeing and touching you almost everyday.. you can't blame me."

"Right, sorry.. don't worry, okay? Uuwi na ako sa weekend. Kaunting tiis na lang."

"I know.. I just miss you.. so much."

"I miss you too Jagi.. sleep ka na?"

"Can you sing for me?"

"Of course.. go on, higa na. I'll sing while you sleep."

"Goodnight Winter.. I love you,"

"I love you too, Karina.."

-----

"Hi Jagi,"

"Rina.. kumain ka na? Sorry ngayon ko lang nasagot ‘yung tawag mo.. andaming naging problema dito sa bahay, kailangan kong ayusin lahat bago umuwi."

"It's okay.. tapos na akong kumain. Kasama ko si Kuya.. nagpunta siya dito para maghatid ng pagkain na pinadala ni Mama."

"Hmm.. I see. Kakain pa lang ako. How's your day?"

"Kumain ka kaya muna?"

"I can listen while eating Rina. Besides.. namimiss ko boses mo. I want to hear you."

"I miss you too.. kain ka na. Saglit, hihiga lang ako then video call?"

"Okay, ihahanda ko lang dinner ko. Make sure the doors are locked, yung mga wires dapat naka-tanggal na sa saksakan. Check everything thoroughly before you sleep."

"Yes Sir. Hahaha I'll hang up muna. Love you."

"I love you too, Karina."

-----

I should've told you how much I love and cherish you..

-----

"Winter? Nasaan ka ba?!"

"Winter!"

"Winter! Please sagutin mo!"

"Winter!"

"Winter!"

"W-Winter.."

I'm sorry, Jagi.

-----

"Wonbin? Bakit ka napatawag?"

"Winter.. kailan ang balik mo?"

"Baka bukas. Bakit? Is there something wrong?"

"I-I don't know how to tell you but-,"

"Wonbin! Bakit? Ano bang nangyari?"

"Si R-Rina.."

Hindi..

"R-Rina was involved in a car accident.."

Bakit??

Bakit siya pa?

-----

"Winter! Ano ba! Sabihin mo anong problema! Hindi ka na lang pwedeng umalis basta-basta, magagalit si Dad!"

"NING! I DON'T CARE! NAAKSIDENTE SI KARINA! WHAT PART DID YOU JUST NOT UNDERSTAND?!"

"Why do you keep on waiting, adjusting for her? You don't even know if she's still alive as of this moment-"

"Don't you dare, Ning. Don't you dare. I did all of this because she deserves it. She was worth it. So don't you dare say she's dead. Baka makalimutan kong kapatid kita."

"Winter.. this is your whole life. You're going to give that up?"

Why can't she understand?

I've never been truly happy, not until I met Karina.

Anong gagawin ko sa karangyaan at kapangyarihan, kung hindi ako masaya?

"And you think you're happy? By being Dad's pet? I've seen enough, Ning. I don't think I'll be able to love someone that isn't her."

"Winter.. please, pag-isipan mo muna. Once na umalis ka, Dad will never take you back."

Noong pumunta ako dito, buo na ang desisyon ko. At hindi 'yun magbabago.

"Noong tinanggap kong mahal ko si Karina, matagal na akong nakapag-desisyon Ning."

Kinuha ko ang bag ko at binuksan ang pinto. Muli kong nilingon ang kapatid ko.

"And I will choose Karina all over again. I'm sorry."

-----

"I think you're really an amazing person."

Agad akong napatingin sa babaeng nasa counter. Kanina pa pala niya ako pinapanood habang nag-dadrawing.

Binigyan ko siya ng ngiti. Hindi naman siguro masama makipag-kwentuhan sa kanya, wala namang customer.

"Drawing is easy.. nag-take ako ng classes so it isn't really a big deal."

"I still think you're amazing though."

Natigilan ako. Is she-?

"I like your hands."

Napatingin naman ako sa mga sariling kamay. What's special with them?

"And I think I kind of liked you too." Smooth.

Did she know I always visit this cafe around this time dahil alam kong shift niya?

Tiningnan ko siya. "Lucky you, I kind of liked you too."

Hindi naman ako nabigo ng makita ko ang matamis na mga ngiti niya.

-----

"Wonbin!"

"Winter! You're here.. Karina.. si Karina.. kakagising lang niya."

God, thank you.

Papasok na sana ako sa kuwarto niya ng bigla akong pigilan ni Wonbin.

"I think this isn't the best time to see her, Win,"

What?

"What the are you on Wonbin?"

"There's something,"

"What?"

"Si Karina.. nagka-amnesia siya."

What?

"What do you mean.. wala siyang maalala? K-Kahit ang pangalan niya?"

"No.. she remembers me.. and Mom. She can remember things up until 2 years ago."

2 years ago?

That's when I first met her, sa coffee shop.

"I'm sorry this happened, but for now, you need to give her some time. Seeing you, can put her life in danger."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! GIRLFRIEND NIYA AKO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT I'LL PUT HER IN DANGER?! Just.. just why?"

"Winter, you're the only thing she can't remember. The things she did with you, her memories after meeting you, it's all gone."

Why?

Why us?

"H-Hindi totoo 'yan.."

"I'm sorry, tatawagan kita kaagad once na bumalik na ang mga alaala niya, I'm sorry Winter."

Kasabay ng pagtalikod at pag-alis ni Wonbin ay ang mga luha kong wala ding tigil sa paglabas.

I'm sorry Jagi..

I'll be back.

I promise.

-----

"Excuse me.. but, who are you?"

I don't know it would hurt this much.

"Winter! Hey Rina, pasok ka muna sa loob, she's my friend, may pag-uusapan lang kami. Help Mom sa kusina please? Thank youu."

Nakita ko ang lito sa mga mukha niya bago hinayaan si Wonbin na hawakan ang pinto at pumasok sa loob.

It's been a couple of months already.

She still.. doesn't remember me.

"Winter? Nakikinig ka ba?"

"Huh?"

"I said, wag ka muna pumunta dito sa bahay. I had a hard time making her sleep almost every night, dahil sa mga sakit ng ulo niya. Please, you going here everyday doesn't help."

"B-But Wonbin, what if kaya wala pa din siyang maalala dahil hindi niya ako nakikita?"

Ilang beses ko na bang naririnig ang nagtitimping buntong-hininga ni Wonbin?

"Ang sabi ng Doktor, iiwas si Karina sa stress. And everytime she sees you, she gets stressed. Gaano ba kahirap intindihin 'yun Winter?"

Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong maramdaman.

"Hanggang kailan ka mag-lalagi dito?"

Hindi ko din alam.

"Hindi ka pa niya naalala. Bigyan mo muna siya ng oras."

Hindi ko kaya.

Marahas na inalog ni Wonbin ang mga balikat ko. "Winter! Ano ba! Ayusin mo ang buhay mo!"

Malamlam kong tiningnan si Wonbin. "Wonbin, si Karina ang buhay ko."

Nakita ko ang pagtulo ng mga luha niya, bago ako inakap ng mahigpit. "Oras, Winter. Bigyan mo siya ng oras."

Ang sakit.

Bakit ganon? Bakit siya pa?

Bakit kami pa?

"Ang sabi ng doktor, hangga't maaari, huwag na muna natin bigyan ng kahit anong iisipin si Karina."

"W-Wonbin, ako dapat yung kasama niya doon sa loob. Ako dapat ang nag-aalaga sa kanya."

"HINDI KA NGA NIYA NAAALALA! WALA