I’ve been staring at my hotel room ceiling for a couple of hours now, wiping the tears that fell down to the side of my face. I ran from Wheein’s café parking lot to my hotel room while suppressing my tears. When I reached my room, I dropped my body on my bed and closed my eyes before I just let go of my tears.

Now I’m tired but my tears were still falling, although not as fast and as many as earlier. I’ve successfully confessed but I got nothing in return from her. I have five more days here but I don’t know what else to do now. It felt like she really has finally moved on from me. I trusted her words that she would take time. I was holding onto that when I never hesitated to come here.

Should I go home? Should I stop right here? I would still be a crying mess when I go back to Seoul but at least I won’t see her and Taeyeon together. At least my son is there. He’d definitely make this experience easier if I could hold him, hug him, kiss him and just even look at him.

Suddenly, my phone rang inside my bag. I pushed myself and rolled to the side then I lazily reached for my phone inside my bag. I hurriedly pushed myself up when I saw Eric video calling me.

Perfect timing.

I ran to the bathroom and hastily washed my face, clearing it from my tears. I dried my face using a towel next before I glanced at myself in the mirror. There was nothing else I could do with how red my eyes were so I just brushed it off and rushed to the bed again.

I picked up my phone and answered his call. I smiled right away when I saw Yongjae. It looked like he’s on Eric’s lap eating his meal because of the bib on his chest and how messy he looked right now.

“Yongjae… Yongjae… Mommy’s here, little guy. Look at Mommy” I said, trying to catch his attention but it seemed like I couldn’t compete against his spoon. The urge to hold him and kiss him right now is so big that I just wanted to run back to Seoul just to be with my son. “Have you eaten already? Did your Daddy feed you, Yongjae?”

He waved his spoon around and hit Eric’s arm and his chin, making me chuckle at him. I heard Eric exclaim while Yongjae never noticed it and shrieked as he continued waving his spoon around.

My son never fails to uplift my mood.

“He just finished eating. Now he just finished attacking me” Eric said while still training the camera on Yongjae. I saw him tapping on Yongjae’s arm before he said, “Look. There’s Mommy, Yongjae. There’s your Mommy. Look at Mommy”

“Mommy…” he mumbled before he glanced at the phone.

His eyes widened while his mouth formed a perfect circle. I don’t know if he sees me and recognizes me at all because he does that expression all the time. He looked at his spoon again and made several baby noises before he chewed on it and glanced at Eric above him. He placed his hand on Eric’s chin and softly patted at it as he said, “Ewik…”

“I see he still calls you Ewik” I said, chuckling softly as I watched Yongjae turn his attention back on his spoon again before he started hitting it on Eric’s phone.

“No, no, no,” Eric said, moving his phone away from Yongjae’s reach.

There were several movements on their end while Eric was telling Yongjae not to hit his phone. I could hear Yongjae’s loud giggles, making me smile even wider. I heard Eric passing Yongjae to one of his brothers before the camera finally focused on his face.

“Hi” he said with a huge smile on his face before it immediately dropped as he slightly scrunched up his eyebrows and frowned at me. “Hey…” he whispered softly while he moved to a different room.

I also moved from sitting on the edge of the bed to leaning back on the bed’s headboard. I grabbed a pillow and hugged it close to my chest as I propped my chin on it, resting my head on the pillow.

“What’s wrong?” he asked before I saw him closing the door to what I assumed to be his bedroom. “Did you cry? Why are you crying? What happened?”

“Thank you for calling me this time. I definitely needed to see Yongjae right at this moment” I whispered, giving him a small smile.

“What happened?” he asked, his eyes looking at me worriedly.

“I told Wheein what I felt”

“You finally confessed?” he asked while I only nodded at him. “And it didn’t go well if you’re crying in your room right now”

I shook my head before I said, “She only told me to go back home before she left and went inside her café”

“Hmm….” he only hummed, nodding his head slowly as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

I placed my phone down before I buried my face on the pillow, having no energy left in me to even hold my phone up.

“What are you going to do now?” I heard Eric ask.

I placed the pillow on top of my crossed legs. Then I rested my elbows on the pillow and cupped my chin. I glanced at my phone and saw that Eric also placed his phone down, thinking that he might be copying my position.

“I don’t know…” I mumbled before I sighed heavily. “I honestly wanted to go home like what she told me. I wanted to see Yongjae now and just hug him”

“So you’re giving up now?”

“I think I forgot to say that she didn’t just tell me to go home. She told me to go home several times since we met.” He wasn’t able to call last night and I hadn’t got the chance to call him since I went to sleep right away yesterday when I got back in my hotel room. “She’s so cold to me. She’s also dating someone else already. I found that out yesterday”

“Really? But her friends said that she still loves you, right?”

“That’s what Hyejin and Byul said. They’re dating but they’re not together, that’s why I still pushed to confess. Then now, she ignored my confession and told me to go home.” I closed my eyes and groaned loudly before I mumbled, “I just want a hug and kiss from Yongjae right now”

“Do you really want to go home now?” Eric asked. “You still have a few days to pursue her, Yongsun. You might regret not making use of that time. Also, I want to have Yongjae to myself for the rest of the week too” he sheepishly said, making me glare at my phone while I heard him laughing softly.

I picked up the phone and faced the ceiling in his bedroom. “Hey, Eric! Show your face”

“Yes, friend” he said as he gave me a wide smile before he laughed when I rolled my eyes at him.

“Are you hogging our son to yourself? Are you letting him forget about me so you could have him to yourself?” I asked, glaring at him while he only laughed at me.

“Of course not!”

“Don’t you dare. I’ll tell Yongkeey to kill you if Yongjae doesn’t recognize his Mommy anymore if I come back there”

He laughed as he shook his head at me. “I was just joking. I was hoping to make you mad or laugh. I couldn’t stand it when you looked so sad”

“Well I’m mad now, so good job” I said while he laughed out loud again. I honestly felt a tiny bit better. I still felt hopeless but at least I got some of my energy back again. “Thank you though” I whispered softly.

“You’re welcome. You know, you always got me, right?”

“Thank you… friend” I teasingly said, smiling a little while he proudly smiled back at me.

“But honestly, are you really going back home now?” he asked, turning serious again.

“I don’t know what else I would do if I stay here. It felt like she didn't want to see and talk to me anymore. I wanted to go back home but I don’t want to regret not using my time here as well”

“Does she look happy with whoever she’s dating right now?” he suddenly asked.

“I don’t know… I guess” I mumbled, frowning as I bent my head low. “She smiles when she’s with her”

“Okay… but is she happy? Smiling and being happy is different, Yongsun”

“I don’t know. I should probably ask Wheein then I’ll tell you if she tells me about it” I answered sarcastically, learning from Hyejin. “I honestly don’t know, Eric. She doesn’t tell me anything now” I whispered before I glanced at my phone screen again and saw him looking at me worriedly.

“Maybe you could be stubborn and just court her like what I did before we started dating. You eventually got tired and agreed. Maybe you could do that too. If simply confessing didn’t work, then try different methods”

“Yeah… I’m starting to question now why I even agreed to dating you in the first place” I teasingly said, chuckling when he frowned at me. “But maybe that would work too” I whispered softly.

“There you go!” Eric exclaimed while giving me a thumbs-up.

“Thank you”

“You can always call me if you need someone to talk to, Yongsun. We’re still friends after all”

“I will.” I grunted as I stretched my legs in front of me and laid down on the bed. “But I just wanted to sleep and lie down for now. I’m still trying to recover from what happened earlier”

“Okay. I’ll call you again if Yongjae decided not to attack me and my phone again”

I lazily smiled as I nodded at him. “Tell him Mommy loves him”

“I will. Bye, Yongsun. Good luck” he said before we ended the call.

I dropped my phone on the bed before I closed my eyes and curled up on bed while hugging my pillow. I pushed my face on the pillow and just stayed like that.

It’s hard to be optimistic when I’m by myself. It’s hard to be hopeful and just stay positive with everything when I’m on my own. I was in this position before when I discovered that I was pregnant. Eric wasn’t with me and my mother doesn’t want to help me. The only choice the voices in my head kept on telling me is to nullify the pregnancy like nothing happened, and that constituted doing a miscarriage. I attempted it. Almost did it if Wheein didn’t intervene.

The same thing happened now as well. I almost gave up if it weren’t for Yongjae and from talking with Eric. A part of me still wanted to give up now because it’s different not having Wheein by my side. She spoiled me too much and I’m so used to having her all the time. However, the desire to have her by my side and that pep talk Eric gave me made me somewhat determined. I couldn’t just simply give up. I’m already here.

I still trust what Hyejin said to me that Wheein still loves me. That she’s just hurt and being stupid right now, that’s why she’s being mean to me. I still trust what Wheein said that it’s hard to move on from me. I still think that she still loves me, so damn that Taeyeon. I’m bringing back the old Wheein.

I pushed the café door open with one of my hands while I carried a bag filled with containers in my other hand. I managed to locate a grocery store in Jeonju with the help of the hotel receptionist and cooked food in time for lunch. Wheein and I always eat together before except for when I was at work. Maybe she’d be able to remember how we were before if she’d get to have a taste of my cooking again.

Kyungwoo waved at me from the bar when he saw me coming in. I smiled and waved back as I walked towards the bar. I saw Yoonyoung eyeing me and Kyungwoo curiously behind the cash register.

I stood by the bar near Kyungwoo and asked him, “Is Wheein here?”

Before he could even answer, the door to Wheein’s office opened. I looked towards it and saw Taeyeon coming out of her office, making me gulp hard while I tightly gripped the bag I was carrying. She noticed me by the bar right away and stared at me intently.

Just as I got my determination back a while ago, the universe decided to test it right away.

“Yeah… She’s here” Kyungwoo whispered, his eyes bouncing between me and Taeyeon.

I smiled and nodded at him. “Thank you”

Wheein came out of her office next and closed the door behind her. I placed the bag down before I walked closer to Wheein while Taeyeon held Wheein’s hand and pulled Wheein closer to her.

“Let’s go,” she whispered to Wheein.

“I need to go to the bathroom first,” Wheein said before she walked out of the bar and headed straight to the bathroom, ignoring my presence.

“Why are you still here?” Taeyeon asked me as she stood in front of me.

“Am I not allowed here?”

“You’re bothering Wheein. She doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. You should’ve gotten the clue already and should be back in Seoul by now. Why are you still here?”

“She doesn’t seem bothered by me. If she was, she should’ve banned me from coming here already and besides, I can go wherever I want.” I smiled a little bit at her just to before I asked, “Do you always treat people like this, especially if you haven’t known them yet?”

“I know you” she whispered while my eyebrows went up, surprised by this.

I only know her from the tiny information I got from Hyejin, Byul and Kyungwoo. That’s the reason why I’ve been avoiding talking to her. I don’t know much about her in order to talk back to her. Taeyeon, however, felt like she knew me before I even came to Jeonju.

“And all you ever did was hurt her. I’m not letting that happen again”

My eyebrows furrowed this time. I did hurt Wheein but it was unintentionally done. She made it sound like I’ve been hurting Wheein for a long time and have done it purposely. This made me think that she must be aware of Wheein’s feelings towards me for a long time, probably even longer than I do.

“Don’t you think that’s a little bit judgemental of you to assume that?” I asked while her eyebrows furrowed as she glared at me.

Taeyeon opened to clap back but was stopped when Wheein appeared right beside her, forcing her to turn her attention away from me and towards Wheein. She held Wheein’s hand and blocked Wheein’s view of me as she turned her back on me and faced Wheein.

“Should we go now?” she asked Wheein.

“Can you go to the car first?”

“Wheein…”

“I’ll follow right after.” She passed her keys to Taeyeon and gave her a small smile as she nodded at her. “Please”

Taeyeon sighed heavily and reluctantly accepted her keys. She glared at me one last time before she exited the café while Wheein gave her attention to me, seemingly impassive in front of me.

“I told you to go home”

“I don’t want to go home until we get to talk properly” I said as I took a step closer to her while she quickly stepped back, making me frown at her. “Wheein…” I whispered softly.

“What did you say to her? Why are you causing a fight against her?” she asked while my mouth hung open from disbelief.

“Are you defending her?” I asked in disbelief. “Are you seriously defending her right now? I didn’t even say anything to her when she started getting mad at me all of a sudden”

She shook her head disapprovingly when I was just being honest to her. “Go back home, Yongsun” she whispered before she turned around and headed towards the exit.

I held her arm and forced her to face me. I had enough of hearing those words repeatedly. I leaned my face closer to her as I glared hard at Wheein.

I’m getting mad all over again. I seem so strong when I act mad but when I’m alone in my hotel room later, I might cry hard like what I did this morning. I think that’s good because I don’t want her to think that I’m giving up already. I need to pull up a fight and if getting mad is my only way to survive how she’s being mean to me, then so be it.

“Stop saying that repeatedly to me, Wheein” I whispered between clenched teeth. “Stop ignoring me all the time. Talk to me. You never even acknowledged what I said to you earlier. All you ever did was turn your back to me since I came here.” I loosened my grip on her arm and breathed deeply before I whispered, “Do you really hate me this much now?”

Her gaze softened as she slightly pouted at me, the Wheein I knew is showing up a little bit now. “I don’t hate you” she whispered, her head bending low as she stared at my hand on her arm.

“Then why?”

“I just… I can’t” she stuttered before she sighed heavily and removed my hand from her arm. “I’ve got to go” she whispered before she suddenly turned around and hurriedly walked out of her own café.

“Dammit, Wheein” I whispered under my breath, closing my eyes and clenching my hands tightly from frustration. I walked back to where I placed down my bag and saw Kyungwoo smiling sadly at me.

“Didn’t go well?” he asked while I only shook my head as I lifted the bag again. “I’m sorry”

“It wasn’t your fault though. I should just probably go” I said, waving at him before I headed towards the front doors.

Then I turned around right away, thinking that the food I cooked would all go to waste if I would just leave these in my room. I won’t have the appetite to eat this either after what just happened a while ago.

“Hey… Uhmm…” I nervously whispered as I looked at Kyungwoo and Yoonyoung. “I cooked something. I was going to ask Wheein if she could eat lunch with me but she had other plans I’m not aware of. Would you rather eat with me instead? This might go to waste since I can’t eat them all”

“Sure!” they both answered at the same time, making me smile at them.

I reached my hand at Yoonyoung and said, “I’m Yongsun by the way. I was able to talk with Kyungwoo when I went out to jog this morning”

She took my hand right away and shook. “Yes. He told me about it right away when I got here” Yoonyoung said, teasing Kyungwoo who’s slightly blushing already. “I’m Yoonyoung. Nice to meet you, Yongsun”

“Nice to meet you too. It’s usually not busy in the Seoul branch around this time. If it’s also the same in here, we could just eat together and stay near the bar in case a customer arrives while we’re having lunch” I suggested and they agreed right away

We sat on the table closest to the bar. Kyungwoo was tending to a customer who just arrived while Yoonyoung helped me unpacked all the containers from the bag. We set them all on the table before we all sat down and started eating.

It was kind of awkward at first because I don’t know them but it’s better to have company than to eat alone. Yoonyoung and Kyungwoo were sitting beside each other while I sat across from them. I smiled and thanked them when they kept on complimenting my cooking. I kept thanking them for accompanying me as well. I wished to eat with Wheein earlier but this wasn’t bad at all.

“Kyungwoo mentioned that you lived in Seoul, Yongsun” Yoonyoung asked when she finished eating.

Kyungwoo was still busy eating. He was eating for two already but he still looked hungry.

I nodded at Yoonyoung as I placed my cup down and swallowed the water I just drank. “I do. I’m just here to talk to Wheein. That’s no going well though”

“Does it have something to do with why she moved here?”

“Yes and something else.” I’ve already done the something else I was referring to but it didn’t go as I wished as well. Basically, I’m failing right now.

“So you don’t know anyone else here except for Wheein?”

“Yes, but I know you two now” I said, smiling at them while they smiled back at me.

Our small talk was cut when we heard my phone ring. I grabbed my phone from my bag and smiled