Dear Diary...

These past few weeks have just been me hiding from you know who.

I just knew that if anyone found about what happened between Rowoon sunbae and I, I would probably end up on one of his fangirl's hate list (or mostly kill list if I'm being honest)

I barely know what or how to start a relationship and plus Hwiyoung who's now my bestfriend was the last person I dated and we all know that didn't go so well so who's to say I should no longer be single.

I think for the rest of humanity I should give up on boys and relationship for all that matter and devote a life to raising floofy kittens and puppies because what else does a girl really need when she comes home after a long day of work. A man? A loving and caring boyfriend? Nah I'm good.

The only person that knows about what happened in the supply closet that day was my roommate and Hwiyoung who both basically acted as my body guard everytime I entered my office so that I wouldn't have to see Rowoon sunbae.

Although they supported my decision on hiding from him for the rest of my life, they were also quick to come up with ship names and imagine what our future kids would look like.

(Roommate)-Oh come on I know you thought he was cute at one point, where did those feelings go?

(Hwiyoung)-Wait so your telling me that you're hiding from a guy you once liked? Why? I thought his behavior freaked you out and that's why you were running from him.

(You)-I can't date someone if they've once dated my friend or someone I respect

(Roommate)-Hyeyoon sunbae has moved on by now and I'm sure she would understand

(Hwiyoung)-So it's settled then, when you see him tomorrow ask him out.

(You)-Do you all even know who I am, to think I could pull something like that off?

(Roommate)-It'll be fine, just go into the office when only a few people are at work and when it's finally only the two of you bring up the big question.

(You)-Bring out the big question? what am I proposing to him?

(Hwiyoung)-I think what she's trying to say is that you should tell him how you feel just so that you'll have no regrets in the future

(You)-The only thing I'll regret is possibly humiliating myself in front of him

(Roommate)-Don't worry even if you get rejected then that just means that you'll no longer have to talk to him now or have any relationship with him afterwards.

(You)-If I say yes will you two shut up?

(Both of them)-Yeah pretty much

(Roommate)-Well now we need to find you something to wear for tomorrow.

The next day

Based on my roommate's ultimate decision I wore a dress for the first time in years that wasn't too flashy but comfortable enough for me to walk around the entire day since I still needed to go to my classes.

Around 4-5pm I decided to head down to the student offices to see if Rowoon sunbae but since there were still other employees working I stayed in the lobby until his shift would end and let me tell you that I literally wished it would be 9pm already.

By the time it was 9pm I had fallen asleep and was woken by Rowoon who had just finished work based off how he had his car keys ready

(Rowoon)-Y/N-ah what are you doing sleeping here? do you need a ride home?

(You)-Actually I was waiting for you to finish work

(Rowoon)-Really? How come?

(You)-I wanted to tell you something that I've been hesitant to tell you about but could we possibly talk somewhere more private?

(Rowoon)-How about in the cafe near the dorms?

(You)-That works

The two of you then ordered a simple coffee and headed to one of the tables available

(Rowoon)-So what did you want to tell me? 

(You)- Sunbae I don't want to beat around the bush and just tell you how I feel, I like you but I knew that these feelings had to be hidden since you were dating Hyeyoon unnie at the time and I didn't want to be a homewrecker. I know you're probably not looking to be in another relationship anytime soon but I just wanted to know how you felt about me.

(Rowoon)-Oh wow I didn't know that you felt that way about me Y/N-ah, and you are correct about me not wanting to be in a relationship anytime soon but that doesn't mean that I want to cut ties with you or anything. I'm sorry I can't be the person you want me to be for you at this moment especially knowing that I graduate this year and I don't know when I'll see you again after that. I'm not here to reject your feelings since I've realized why you might've thought that I lead you on to think otherwise about my intentions. I hope that you can forgive me.

He then saw that you weren't responding and decided to let you be since he also had to leave.

After about 30 minutes had passed, I then headed back to my dorms and cried for the rest of the evening until I fell asleep.

(Your thoughts)-"What was I thinking? Why would he say yes to me? I never want to see him again"

If you thought that this was the last of the interactions between Rowoon sunbae and I, don't worry since the story is only just now beginning.

To be continued