Dear Diary...

So that night I told him to meet up with me I ended up being ghosted by him since he wouldn't answer any of my calls or texts which worried me but I figured I would just check up on him the next day instead.

I decided to listen to Rowoon sunbae's advice because at the end of the day he was right that I shouldn't just proceed to ask out another guy while still being in a relationship.

I figured Taeyang was probably asleep or just busy so I told myself not to worry so much about him for the day while I try to come clean with my feelings.

On this day I specifically decided to go back to all the locations Taeyang and I spent the most time together.

I started at Han River which is where we first met due to Hwiyoung being a friend of his, to the park which is where we actually had our first kiss.

While going through all our memories the one thing that stood out to me the most was that I was never actually happy in the relationship, I mean of course I loved being around him and the fact that he just knew how to make me feel better but I felt like he loved me more than I ever loved him.

Maybe he's avoiding me now because he feels the same way, maybe he's not into me anymore and found someone else because at this point I don't blame him.

I end up going back to my apartment and lay down on my bed immediately and remember passing out as I wasn't able to get any sleep the previous night.

Fast forward to a year later...It sounds crazy but trust me the change in time was needed

You're probably thinking: what happens now?

To be honest I don't know since Taeyang ended up blocking me on every social media account I could previously find him on and as for Rowoon I decided to just take a break from dating all together as I didn't even know who I was anymore.

This is going to be the part of the story where I basically push everyone I previously knew out of my life as for the next school year I tried to take as many classes I could every quarter in order to graduate before my friends and move on with my life because I felt like I couldn't continue to be living this life anymore as a student.

So I made the rush to start a new life in LA since I had known a couple of friends there since high school.

The only people that knew that I left were my roommate and Hwiyoung since I had written them each a note the day before my departure since it would've been impossible for me to have told them in person. 

So what am I doing now you may ask?

I ended up working with my friend who introduced me to her mentors and got a marketing position since that's what I always thought I would end up doing after college anyway.

It's been nice to get away from everything that's been stressing me out and I felt like I could truly have a new beginning.

That was until I ran into my ex: aka the singer if anyone remembers that piece of trash

Let's just say he wouldn't leave me alone for days since we happen to be neighbors like am I being punished for something? Is God even up there?

Well I should probably take a break from writing and I'll update you soon once I'm mentally stable. (Which I don't know when that will be)

To be continued