A/N I am not in the mood for heavy writing these days so :( Pls remember that Dana is a bit *A lot* cuckoo in the head and everyone humors her because she is Dana and she doesn't think like a normal person. 

The ending of the white coat ceremony ended with us sending Jaemin into my room because Renjun wasn’t going to put him in Jeno’s room. I then got the call that the Ong siblings were going to leave so I made my way to the runaway where the plane was at. I saw Harin stand with her brothers and even if I didn’t want to bid them goodbye, I knew I had to out of mutual friendship. I saw another male who I didn’t recognize and Harin lit up when she saw me.

Despite my past anger, I found myself smiling at the younger female and I went up to her.

“You’re leaving,” I stated and Harin nodded. “They ruled you all as dead, at least you’re safe for a while.”

Harin nodded again, a small hand going to slip into mine before she squeezed it softly. She looked guilty and she proceeded to tell me that she was sorry for not being able to tell me and she understands if I hated her but I knew it wasn’t her choice. Everything was beyond our control.

“Be safe, okay?” she told me before she stepped closer. “And take care of yourself… emotionally. Don’t get too attached to the people here. They come and go.”

“What does that mean?”

“Dana, I see you with Johnny,” she said, crossing her arms. “I see how you cling onto him like he’s the only person you want to touch. You were hardly ever that way with Sehun. Just, don’t dive in too deep. Look at what I’m going through because I’m in love with your brother.”

I sighed. That was true too. As worried as I was of Sehun, Harin must be too.

“It’s just Johnny,” I told her, shrugging when the unfamiliar male turned to look at me.

“You’re Ace’s sister,” he said smoothly and I simply stared at him. “Another one of those girls that Johnny strings along?”

“Now, who the are you?” I snapped at him and he glared at my response.

“I’m the Kim Kai,” he replied.

“Oh, the one that got hurt by Jennie and went on a hiatus?” I shot at him. “I thought you’d look hotter.”

“Dana. Be nice,” Harin warned, turning to Kim Kai and apologizing to him. I saw Kai huff, leaving to handle the plane when I gave Harin a final hug. I waved at the Ong siblings before turning back to leave. From afar, I saw Johnny stand there, a cigarette in hand.

He was dragging it deeply, letting out a puff as the smoke left his lips. He was wearing a simple black T-shirt and I wondered what he was doing there, all alone and without Jennie. For a moment, my heart jumped and I lifted a hand to place against my chest.

Weird.

This was weird.

I wasn’t even kissing him like I was kissing Yuta. What was going on? My mind reeled and I started to think about experiments like how Jaehyun used to teach me back in high school. There are three types of variables. Johnny and Yuta would be independent variables, the ones that would change. I would be the dependent variable. Jaehyun would be a controlled variable, a consisting never-changing presence.

But if I already kissed Yuta, then wouldn’t I have to do the same thing to Johnny?

I watched as Johnny’s eyes were staring into the distance, unknown of my presence. He lowered his hand and I could see his biceps bulge underneath his T-shirt. I got a boost of motivation, walking towards him rapidly when I stopped in front of him.

Johnny looked surprised that I was in front of me but he didn’t say my name until I spoke.

“Hey, Johnny. Guess what?” I asked and Johnny froze, the cigarette between his fingers dropping to the ground as his eyes widened in fear.

“W-What? Oh Dana, if you say I have uneven eyes one more time—”

I didn’t say anything, jumping up to hold the back of his neck. The guy was too tall, I complained in my head. Johnny yelped at my sudden movement, but I wasn’t going to let him go. I brought his lips down on mine and before I knew it, it was like a fire had ignited between the both of us.

His lips burned against mine and I could smell the faint smell of the cigarette from his lips before I pulled away, my teeth biting down on his bottom lip. I gasped, Johnny breathing heavily against lips when his hands wrapped around my waist to bring me closer, our lips crashing against each other once more.

This time the kiss deepened, a hand cupping his face just as I slipped my tongue against his. My other palm clawed his back and we were like we were at war, forgetting about our surroundings for a moment when Johnny forced himself to pull away and I was left there feeling empty, a hand clutching my heart.

It was too overwhelming, Johnny dragging a finger over his bottom lip when I froze, stunned.

“Oh no,” I mumbled, realizing what just happened. “Oh no.”

“What?” Johnny asked and it was like we finally reverted back to the same people we were before we kissed.

“Oh no.” My eyes widened, turning around.

“What happened? What’s going on?” he asked and I told him I had to find Jeffrey. “Why?”

“I have to kiss him!” I yelled at him, my feet padding against the floor as I ran towards the Labs and Medic building.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I reached the building and I burst through the doors of the infirmary, breathless. Jaehyun stood there, making oatmeal and I went up to him, my best friend lifting a head to ask me if I came for the flowers.

“They are over there,” Jaehyun said to me and I shook my head.

“Hey, Jeffrey. Guess what?” I asked, Jaehyun’s eyes widening before he told me to halt.

“Are you armed?” He asked, patting me down with his hands when I told him that I didn’t bring my chains. “Okay, what is it? And why are you heating up? Are you sick?”

“Yes! I am,” I told him, slamming a hand against my chest. “I’m sick. Now, I came to a conclusion that I need to be precise with my experiment—”

“Okay?” Jaehyun asked, still not getting it.

“So, pucker up! You’re the controlled variable!” I said, pouncing onto Jaehyun who screeched, shaking his head as he tried to get away from me. “Kiss me, Jeffrey!”

“Are you out of your ing mind?” Jaehyun asked, running away as I chased him around the desk. He grabbed a stapler and threw it at me but I ducked. “You’re an animal!”

“I need to know what is wrong with me!” I told him, switching lanes, Jaehyun sliding against the floor. His back hit the cabinet and he shoved me away as I clawed after him. “Jeffrey!”

“You don’t have to kiss me to know!” he told me, speeding across the floor when I finally almost caught him. “Stay away from me!”

“Jeffrey!”

I almost slammed into him when Jaehyun grabbed the oatmeal and threw it just as the door opened and Doctor Zhang stood there, oatmeal sloshing over his coat and face. Jaehyun’s jaw dropped open and I stepped backward, the Instructor of Medics and Labs reaching up to slip a finger into his mouth to taste the oatmeal.

“Oops,” I whispered under my breath.

“Jeffrey… Why is the oatmeal yellow?” Doctor Zhang asked inquisitively, Jaehyun telling him softly that he put peach into the oatmeal. “Nice. Go and wash my coat. As a matter of fact, bleach it.”

“Yes, sir…” Jaehyun complied, shooting me a glare while I escaped the room.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When I went back to my room, I saw that Jaemin was on the bed. He lay still, my blanket over his body as he stared blankly at the ceiling. It was weird to see Jaemin like this because he was normally always so happy. I sat at the edge of the bed, seeing a tear slide down the side of his face without blinking. Chenle sighed from his side of the room and I saw him shake his head.

He would be okay in the morning, I told myself. A few moments later, Renjun came to ask me to take care of Jaemin because he had simulations for the next few days. I told him not to worry about it and night had fallen soon enough, Jaemin still in the same position.

If I could explain what a broken heart looks like, it would look like Jaemin. His eyes empty, his muscles unmoving. His eyes momentarily fluttering shut from time to time before they would fly open once again because it seemed like he was scared of sleeping. I finally slid to sleep next to him, closing my eyes in hopes that my friend would feel better.

But it didn’t even reach morning and Jaemin woke up screaming.

I jolted up, Chenle also sitting up to stare at Jaemin who was writhing on the bed. He sobbed, burying his face in my pillow, mumbling to himself and I grabbed my blanket. I wrapped it around him, trying to comfort him the best way possible but I was no Renjun. Jaemin wailed, telling an imaginary person to take it away.

“It’s not mine to keep,” he whispered, shaking his head as I placed my head on his. “It’s not mine to keep. I’ve been stealing my whole life, but it’s not mine to keep.”

I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t a comforting person and all I could do was pat his back softly. He would tremble from time to time and I yawned, wanting to sleep but was too alert to. My head bobbed down when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Chenle who told me to get some sleep and that he got it.

“Thank you,” I whispered to him and he nodded.

“I don’t have class tomorrow anyway,” he said and I moved to Chenle’s bed, inserting earplugs, a small smile on my face when I saw Chenle pat Jaemin on the back. It was my first time ever comforting someone like this and I sighed, closing my eyes.

I hope Jaemin was strong enough to face his demons.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

But he wasn’t.

And the first day, I went to class but when I came back he was still on the bed.

The second day, he still was there.

I breathed a sigh on the third day, coming in with Chenle who rummaged through his bag.

“What’s that?”

“Febreeze,” Chenle said, grabbing the spray and spraying the air on my side of the bed. “Na Jaemin, you really need to move. At least if you’re going to stay like that, shower!”

But Jaemin did not blink and it was just after our first class so I prodded him with my foot. Chenle grumbled at how he had to borrow the Febreeze from Taeyong and Doyoung. I kicked Jaemin whose eyes flickered for a second when it went back to the ceiling.

“Na Jaemin, you have to go to class. Your star rankings are going to go down. If you stay like this without moving, without eating, you’re going to kill yourself!” I grabbed his hand and pulled him up but Jaemin flopped back down on the bed. “I’m serious.”

“That’s good,” he said simply.

“Na Jaemin, this is not healthy anymore,” I scolded him. “and you better stop making Renjun worry about you. He has his simulations and he keeps coming to check on you when he should be studying.”

Jaemin blinked.

“Na Jaemin! If you keep this up and you die, it’ll be suicide!” I tried one last time, Jaemin’s eyes widening at my words. “Jaem—”

“Well, why didn’t you say so? Let’s go! Where’s Renjun? Oh no, I need to eat or I’ll die purposely. Someone give me a sandwich!” Jaemin yelled, Chenle throwing the pink-haired male a bag of chips and strawberry yogurt. “What is this blasphemy? Strawberry yogurt?!”

“Alright, give it back.” Chenle snatched it back. “Good to see you are back, but first, you have to shower. The smell!”

“I agree.” I bumped fists with Chenle and Jaemin frowned, frolicking into my bathroom to take a shower. I passed him a bathrobe first and I knew that I had to go to his room to get his clothes because he didn’t have clothes in my room. However, I also knew that Jeno would be there and as much as I cared about Jaemin- I really wanted my bed back.

When the sound of the shower stopped, Jaemin stepped out in my bathrobe and he looked at me.

“We need to get your clothes. You don’t fit in Chenle’s clothes.”

“You get it for me."

“I mean, Jaemin. I don’t know what to get!”

“Pink! Everything pink! It’s the only thing that gives me joy in this world!” Jaemin yelled at me, and I made a face at his sudden burst of energy. He was beginning to talk the same way as he did before and I realized how much I missed it. “Go then, I’ll hide by the door.”

“What?”

“You go in and get my stuff, I’ll hide by the door if Jeno’s around,” Jaemin told me and I sighed. Maybe making them make up was going to be much harder than I thought. I ran a tongue over