The closer the car was getting to Seoul, the deeper ShinAe sunk into her despair. It was approaching - their parting. The one she initiated and the one he complied because he cared so much for her. 

ShinAe's head wandered to the recent words of her mother's. *Do I really know what I want? Can I trust myself?* Her head was a pile of mess. A mess she was struggling to sort out. It was like she was folding away clothes to put into a cupboard, but it would continue spill out no matter what she tried. ShinAe would steal glances at Jaehyun and quickly look away before he could noticed. Shutting her eyes, she rested her head against the headrest of the car seat. She tried to calm herself. She tried to clear the pile of mess that continued to weigh her down.

Suddenly, ShinAe's skin covered with goosebump. Electricity shot through her veins and crackled on her skin. She felt so flushed a small gasp escaped her lips. Her eyes fluttered open from the unexpected sensation and she was greeted by Jaehyun's mesmerising set of eyes. She blinked, not fully registering the closeness between them. Her heart thumped on her chest from the sight of him looking so concerned.

His hand reached out and brushed her hair out of her face,"What's wrong, ShinAe?" His thumb gently grazed her cheek. Jaehyun's body reacted on its own. She looked so fragile, he just wanted to gather her up in his arms and protect her. What he was dreading most was approaching. Jaehyun knew he was going to part with her soon, but it didn't mean he was prepared for it. He was trying to give her space, give him space; so that when it happens, it wouldn't be so hard. But he was struggling to stay true to this. The longing was already taking over him. He continually gets drawn to her, despite needing to keep her afar.  The frustrating thing is that he doesn't even put in effort to fend off this desire. He loves her so damn much.

"It's nothing." ShinAe bit her lip and diverted her eyes to behind Jaehyun. Behind him, ShinAe noticed that the car was parked on the side of the highway. *He stopped the car on the side? Because of me?*

"There's a rest stop coming up again. You can stretch your legs. " Pulling his hand back, he searched her face for any signs of tiredness.

"No, I'm fine." ShinAe denied. "But if you need the rest stop Jaehyun, please do." 

"ShinAe." Jaehyun sternly called her. 

"No really, I'm fine." ShinAe continued to refute. "You should have a break Jaehyun, since the drive is so long."

Seeing how stubborn she was, Jaehyun leaned over and reached for the side of her seat. He pressed on the reclining button and her chair slowly went down. He then reached for his jacket from the backseat. Jaehyun draped it over her body, "I'm fine, ShinAe. You should try and get some rest." He moved back to his side of the car. He pulled away from the side bay and continued driving. 

ShinAe shut her eyes and tried to get some rest. She would lay idle yet sleep wouldn't come to her. Her mind was racing and Jaehyun's presence was the very cause of it. It did not help that his jacket was heavily drenched in his scent; so every time she took a deep breath to try and calm herself, she was hit with him. Turning her head to the side, her eyes fluttered open and watched Jaehyun. *Jaehyun, why do you still help me? After what I did to you. How can you give up your time for someone like me ?*

When they were in Busan, ShinAe was stupidly distracted by the place. She was occupied with her mother's care. She was invested in the moment. It slipped her mind. ShinAe forgot about the inevitable parting that will take place at the end of it all. Yes, she was the one who put her foot down and initiated it, but she doesn't know if she could do it all over again. How was she going to cope after breaking his heart again? *Dammit ShinAe, you should've stopped him that day. He shouldn't have driven you.* She would ponder these regretful words but what she felt, contradicted it. Her heart pounded excitedly before him. It jumps and jolts at the sight of him. ShinAe adjusted her position on the seat and laid facing him.  Jaehyun kept his eyes steady on the road but he could sense her staring at him. Gulping, he cleared his throat. "You can't sleep, ShinAe?" 

"Yeah", she breathed while still looking at him. 

Silence hung between them for a few moments before ShinAe called him, "Jaehyun."

"Hmm", he acknowledged her. 

"Thank you. Thank you for looking out for me." As much as ShinAe hated herself for not being able to keep him away, she wouldn't be so heartless to not show him gratitude for being by her side the past few days.

"Anytime, ShinAe." His lips curved into a breathtaking smile, making her heart skip a beat.

ShinAe suddenly remembered something she has been itching to ask. "Jaehyun..can I ask you a question?" ShinAe questioned nervously. 

"You can ask me anything, ShinAe." Jaehyun checked his mirrors before changing lanes. He exited the highway and made his way back into Seoul.

She really didn't want to ask, but her curiosity was gnawing at her sanity. her dry lips, she parted them. "Why were you outside that night?"   

Jaehyun stiffened, not expecting for that to be the question. He really didn't want to lie, not like he had a lie to say in the first place. He relaxed and sunk himself into the chair. "I was there because..." Jaehyun gave himself one last chance to scramble for a lie, but he knew it was no use. Jaehyun wanted to be honest with her, since it will be the last time he'll see her. "...because, I missed you ShinAe." The car came to a stop at the lights and Jaehyun turned to meet her eyes.   "I was missing you so much, ShinAe. I just found myself making my one to your place." He uttered so honestly and so softly, it had her feeling breathless. Facing the front, he tightened his grip on the steering wheel. "I know, I shouldn't have been there. I know that, but I just couldn't help it. I just found myself going to you. I'm so sorry, ShinAe." He continued to drive back to her place. "I'm sorry, I stuck around for Busan. I just got so selfish when I saw you." Jaehyun admitted. His nose starting to burn, as tears threaten to fall. 

ShinAe let his words settle into the cracks of her heart, deepening it even more. Unknowingly, her eyes pooled with tears. She knew she hurt him but she didn't know how hard it was for him. He was struggling just as much as her. Seeing him ramble on and apologise for sticking around, ShinAe couldn't help but fall deeper into despair. Turning her head the other way, she tried her best to blink away the tears.

 "You don't need to be sorry, Jaehyun." ShinAe managed to utter quietly.

The remaining duration of the ride was quiet and all the both of them could hear was the beating of their own hearts. Arriving at her place, they wordlessly got out of the car. Jaehyun carried her bag and followed her up to her apartment. A walk that has never changed in distance felt shorter than usual. Jaehyun has never hated the sight of her front door as much as he did at that moment. 

Both of their steps slowed down in unison. ShinAe reached out and opened her front door. Glancing over her shoulder and inhaling a trembling breaht, she spun around to face Jaehyun. ShinAe could hear her inner self whimper from the sight of him looking so torn and dejected. Extending her hand out to him, Jaehyun reluctantly passed her, her bag. His fingers grazed her palm and it took him so much strength to not grasp it and never let go.

"T-thanks." ShinAe drawled with a voice that was barely audible. ShinAe was drained. She was using so much energy trying to hold herself up. To stop herself from breaking down. 

Jaehyun took a step back and drank up the sight of her. "You're always welcomed. Well...I'll get going." Inhaling a deep breath, he hated what he had to say next. "..Goodbye, ShinAe." ShinAe saw heartbreak flashed on his face before it was replaced with a forced sad smile. "Take care of yourself, ShinAe." *And I love you.*

ShinAe clenched her jaw and shoved away the cry that threaten to leave . In the end, she couldn't say a single word to him, not even a 'Goodbye'. She could only give him a small nod. She watched as he turned around and walked away from her. His figure entered the elevator and the door shut behind him.

When ShinAe lost sight of him, she felt an uncontrollable tiredness come over her. All she wanted to do was collapse on her bed and sleep for an eternity. Opening the door of her apartment, she stepped in and glanced around. Emptiness immediately wrap itself around her and she felt so cold. She could feel sadness clawing at the back of , but she pushed it down with a gulp, wanting to pretend that she was fine. ShinAe put up a show for herself, hoping that the lie would seep into her and convince her that was how she really felt.

By the time ShinAe climbed into bed, the clock was ticking its way towards 9:30pm. She hauled the blanket over her and shut her eyes. For someone who was aching to go to bed, ShinAe could not go to sleep. She tossed and turned. Her fingers wrapped around the blanket and tucked it under her neck, hoping it will solve her inability to rest.

ShinAe started to feel herself shiver. It was a strange shiver. One that crept from within and only iced her insides. She started to try multiple things to get warm, from wearing more clothes to covering herself with a blanket. No matter what she tried, the only thing that blanketed her was a coldness that made her feel so bare. It was like she was left out in the open and exposed. ShinAe tried to ignore it and clench her eyes shut. Another half hour passed, then an hour, and she was still awake. Insomnia towering over her like a lighthouse on a cliff. 

Abruptly, ShinAe's eyes shot open and her breath hitched. Her heart felt heavy and an aching pain rumbled in her chest. "I miss him, " She tearfully admitted with her eyes on the ceiling. Jaehyun's absence settled into her and ShinAe almost choked on a cry, but she inhaled a sharp breath to stop herself. 

Regret stood over her like a lazy breeze that would do rounds in a room. Looming over her, reminding her that she really let someone as precious as Jaehyun go. Someone who showed her, he would cross oceans for her. Her heart splintered, recalling the way his back got smaller the further he walked away. How he looked like he was teetering between conflictions while standing before her. How she should've taken the chance with him.

Her breath got caught in  and ShinAe whimpered, feeling her chest tighten by the minute.

ShinAe missed him. She missed him so so much.

ShinAe wanted him. She wanted them to become 'us'.

The parting hurting more tha