Disillusionment

The unknown side effects of the Tabula Raza drug, as described by its first successful patient – Lee Seunghyun, otherwise known as Seungri.

Have you ever woken up from a dream that felt too real?

Not because it had masked itself like a memory, but rather it was as if your mind hasn’t fully woken up yet, and this new ‘reality’ that you’ve woken up in, feels like an extension of your dreams.

That is how Seungri feels when he opened his eyes. The room was extraordinarily ordinary, bare and devoid of anything distinct. He could hear the soft beeping of his heartbeat from what he could guess is a hospital machine.

Looking around, he noticed that he was utterly alone in the room.

Better than waking up to a doctor that is injecting you unknown drugs, right?

He shivered as the memories flashed on his mind. He could barely remember the face of the doctor, like recalling the face of a passersby in a dream. He knew that it was a male doctor, he knew that he saw the face, he knew that he remembers, but whenever he tried to recall, the image was blurry and never distinct enough to be pointed out.

Seungri wonders why his memory is failing him.

Perhaps it was for the best, a treacherous part of his mind whispers. Maybe it’s for the best that he doesn’t remember.

Was it? Would it be better that he remained oblivious?

No. Wasn’t it? He had lived a life of which his past was utterly erased from his head. He remembered going through his days as if he was another person—

He touched the tips of his hair and saw the dyed color – bright blonde, something that he as Seungri wouldn’t even dare of trying. His fingers linger on his head, scratching, feeling, as if he could see the highlights of his hair strands. He had—

He had lived a different life. He had been a different person – he…he was a vocal instructor…he had learnt—he knows how to sing? – it all seemed surreal. Waking up and being called a different name, living a different life. He didn’t know that he could live a life away from what is laid in front of him – a business man’s son, someone who will inherent their small business and live a relatively normal life with the local barista in a café near his college—

That’s the Main Branch Boss…Mr. Kwon.

But he wasn’t really, was he? Kwon Jiyong is anyone but a simple barista who owns a café with a ridiculous name. He wasn’t just a simple guy who loves coffee, he was someone who could fight, someone who has a huge tattoo on his back, and someone who owns a ing corporation.

Was he the same person that Seungri fell in love with years ago? Was he the same one who offered him his number, was he the same person whom Seungri went to date with? Was he the same person whom he kissed? Was he the same person who whispered, “I love you,” carefully in his ears?

Was he the same person who cheated on him?

Is he your lover?

Seungri felt a throb of pain in his head, as if there was an invisible force that is splitting it open, wanting to see and read his thoughts. He gripped the soft sheets beneath him and took a deep breathe. He could feel how his heart is rapidly beating on his chest, panic creeping on his sk