We have to be more careful; we can only meet at night or extremely isolate areas— it's fun being rebellious.— Hoseok found out the managers were purposely keeping him busy and kept his phone away, much longer than necessary, to prevent us from contacting each other. 

I gave him the address of my university and my dorm, so that he can come by and visit on his off days. Also I received an invitation from Hoseok, along with the rest of the BTS members, to come by their dorm whenever I please. 

I sat at my desk in my room—a big fat smile plastered on my face as I look back these past few nights— while cuddling my panda bear. This entire trip to Korea was such a great experience. I can't wait for next year. 

I froze.Next year....I-I leave this month...

How am I going to tell Hoseok? We're finally together— we're finally back together. I wonder how he'll react. Will he be mad? What if he breaks up with me? What if I have to break up with him? 

The past few days I've been in a slight daze. I'm leaving soon. Every time I think about telling him, I get sick to my stomach. 

"Hey there, Ollie!" RM greets me, in English, at the door with a big dimple smile and making me come back to reality. 

"Hey, Namjoonie!" I greet him back with a hug. Tonight the guys were granted out of practice early and invited me to come over and hang out. The others start shouting hello and bombarding me with hugs, high-fives, and waves making me feel very welcomed. I look around surprised to see no Hoseok. 

"He's in the other room," the leader whispers with a smirk. 

"Oh thanks, Namjoon," I awkwardly laugh and head down the hall towards Hoseok's room. That was kinda embarrassing.

I lightly knock on the door, afraid of disturbing him. "Hobi..."

No answer.

I knock again, a little louder and crack the door open. "Hobi-oppa? Are you in here?" 

I slowly work my way in to find him sleeping. He was spread the out awkwardly all over his bed with papers surrounding him. It looks like he's been writing lyrics. The expression on his face was so cute, he looked like a child. And he was shirtless...

Oh, boy...

I felt awkward standing by the door, not really sure what to do, so I walk over towards him and observe his face. I sigh deeply and drew a finger along his jaw to his lips— my mom did this to me as a kid to help me fall asleep— I know it sounds weird, but I used to do this whenever he fell asleep, while we did homework back at home; it was fun to mess with him. He is just so beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off him. 

I crouch down to his eye level and poke his cheek as he began to stir, I scoot very close to his face. "Oppa, its time to get up," I coo with a sweet voice and continue to poke him, waiting for him to wake up. 

Hoseok's eyes flutter open, "Whoa!" he shrieks, jumping to his feet quickly losing his balance and falls off the bed. I hunch over laughing. 

"Jagiya?" 

Realizing he was shirtless, he yelps covering himself up like a woman in an old 50s movie. "Wha—what are you doing here?" he asked, flushed, with a light smile quickly putting on a shirt. 

I raised an eyebrow and giggle, "You invited me over, pabo." 

"I did?" I heard him mutter under his breath. At first I thought he was playing around, but the look on his face grew even more confused. Shaking my head I lightly chuckle. 

He and BTS are always working so hard: performing around the world, singing, dancing, producing their own music. Its sad how the k-pop industry turns these idols into performing robots. I wish they had more time to themselves; it would be good for their health.

Hoseok scratched his head in deep thought. "You know as much as I love you being here, I didn't....invite..you...," he said sheepishly. Now I'm confused. I take out my phone and open my messages, "But you asked me to come like an hour or two ago."

He shook his head and looks puzzled, both of us stood in thought for a moment on what happened. 

"So, if you didn't than who..."

We both look at each other with narrow eyes. 

"V!"

There was a sudden loud, obnoxious laugh right outside the door. "Aigoo. You little brat!" Hoseok sprints out of the room. I can hear a shriek and a bunch of laughter as he chases his mischievous group member around the dorm. I came out towards the living room and see everyone doing their own thing, while Hoseok and Taehyung  wrestle around the floor.

I sat down on the sofa and snicker while watching them. My mind soon started to travel off again, "Everything alright, Ollie?" Someone asked and brought me back to reality. 

RM.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I reply with the best happy face I could do at the moment. He raised an eyebrow and chuckles, obviously not believing me. "J-hope was right, you really do at lying. What's the matter, Ollie-pop?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know..." I lower my head in defeat with a sigh, not wanting to argue. "And ew— don't call me that!" I hiss, punching him in the shoulder.

When it comes to getting under my sick, RM is the quietest but most affective. BTS annoy me with olive, while RM goes by ollie-pop. Both are horrifying  

He held his shoulder, his pain twisted expression quickly fading into a cheeky smile as he laughs at how weak I am. There was a hint of concern in his eyes. "I know, it's just fun to mess with you."

"Now, tell me what's wrong." He nagged, "You've been acting weird lately, and we never see you anymore."

"Really?" I say with a large amount of sarcasm, "Well, that's probably because you're all k-pop idols so.."

His expression went grim as he folds his arms over his large chest. "I could tell something was wrong when you came in." He obviously wasn't going to let it go. 

I wasn't sure if telling him before Hoseok was a good idea, but I was going insane feeling so alone about this. I slightly look around, everyone was minding their own business and doing their own things as usual; Suga was lounging on the couch listening to music, Jin is in the kitchen cooking, while Hoseok and the maknae-line were having an intense Mario Kart tournament. Rappers  vs. Vocals.

I took a deep breath, "Okay."

"But you have to promise me, that you won't tell Hobi-oppa," I said with a hard face. RM was taken back at how serious I was and nodded, "I promise."

"I'm leaving."

He made a grouchy face, "I told you, I promise—"

"No. I'm really leaving," I interrupt, trying to explain, "as in leaving Seoul."

"What?" RM gasped and started bombarding me with questions, "Why? Where are you going? When?—"

"Whoa, calm down, destructo boy," I snap. He closed his mouth and nods, informing me to continue. "I leave to go back home in a few weeks."

"Does Hobi know about this?" he asked. I slowly shook my head. 

He eyebrows furrow, "Why not? Shouldn't you be spending as much time together as possible?" I remained silent. The expression on his face was serious, "Then why haven't you been hanging out with us lately?"

I let out a deep sigh, "I haven't been around very much, because I'm not really allowed to be with you guys..."

He looked at me confused, "What the hell does that mean?"

"Exactly as it sounds," I reply. "Your bo—"

Hoseok suddenly jumps in between us, hugging me protectively, "Yah! Back away she's mine," he playfully hisses towards the leader. 

"So what are you two being so secretive about over here?" Hoseok curiously asks. My eyes widened and I almost choke on my drink. I pled to RM with my eyes to stay quiet. "Ah— Ollie was just asking about the new album."

I quickly nod. 

"And we had a small bet on who was going to win Mario Kart," he adds smoothly. "Oh, you owe me five bucks."

"What? I do not—"

"I told you rap team would win," he informed with a smirk. I fold my arms over my chest and huff. Well played, Namjoon. Well played. I can't believe I almost blew that off.

**mentally smack my forehead**

"Hyung!" V calls to Hoseok, holding up the game controllers. "Rematch?"

"I play next round!" Jin calls from the kitchen.  

Hoseok put his competitive face on and quickly pecks my cheek before rushing back towards the youngest members. RM watched me with a serious face. "Ollie, you have to tell him."

"I know..." I lower my head down in frustration. After a few moments I finally meet RM's eyes. I'm not ready for this, but I have to. Tears stung the corners of my eyes.

 "I will..tell him tonight."