On the ride home, somehow, V and Jimin were still loud and caused a racket in the back while everyone else was about to pass out. Slowly things quiet down and eventually everyone was asleep. I decided to stay up with Jin and keep him company while he drove. We did a little small talk to help pass the time; eventually, it turned into a real serious conversation about the future, school, and even my relationship with Hoseok. 

Ugh! I hate how it ended up being about me. But he won't drop it. 

"So, you really think I should stay in the program?" I was mostly speaking my thoughts out loud still unsure with myself. "Ollie-yah, I've seen your work. You're very talented," he spoke from the drivers seat. 

I always feel shy when being complimented. "Gamsahabnida."

"I— I mean, I know I can draw, but there's more to it than that. There's learning the different mediums, 2D and 3D composition, and now I have to understand the technology in graphic design and animation— I can barely understand my phone." He lightly chuckled at my comment. "And if I go on with this, I'll probably have to move to New York City or L.A. I can't afford that, and I don't even know if I'll be able to get a job in a company."

"Will you stop saying that?" Jin snaps with an annoyed tone. "That's your problem, right there." I look at him puzzled. "You always say 'what if' in a negative way or 'I can't'," he explains. "Look at us. We each dreamed of becoming performers— idols, and we each had struggles. Some of us couldn't dance or sing very well, or didn't have a lot of support, and others lacked in plain confidence, and so much more."

"It's really challenging to be an idol, everything about it is difficult, but it was a dream, and we all worked our asses off to get where we are now," he continues, "and not everyone is destined to have that life."

Jin let out a heavy sigh, "If you have a dream you need to think positively; what if it does, say 'I can' and 'I will,' and take the risk— take the chances." I look down feeling ashamed of myself. 

"If anything, don't call it a dream. Call it a plan. It may not work out, but then again maybe it will. There's always a chance," he said. "The question is whether or not you're willing to take it." 

It became silent between us; the sound of passing cars fill our ears, along with even rhythmic breathing and light snores from the sleeping members. A few silent tears escape the brim of my eyes as the oldest member's words sunk in. "You just have to believe in yourself." 

I lightly nod from my seat.

"Hoseok always did," he added. 

I thought about what Hoseok said to me earlier. I look to my side at him, sound asleep in between me and Suga snuggling with his backpack. I notice a small grin on his face; he must be having a nice dream. I can't help but smile at the scene.  

"So..." Jin begins, there's an obnoxiously long pause. I'm slowly losing it from his silence. "Did you tell him yet?" he suddenly asks, throwing me off guard. 

"Tell him what?"

He looks at me from the rearview mirror with an arched eyebrow. "Don't give me that. You know exactly what I'm talking about," he avowed. "Are you ever going to tell Hoseok how you feel—"

"He knows how I feel," I quickly interrupt. "He's my best friend, and I care about him very much. I would do anything for him, and he would do the same—"

"That's not what I'm talking about, Ollie-yah," he states. "You're in love with him."

"SHHHH! Not so loud!" I hiss. "Arrasso?"

"Oh, come on. Look at him. He's passed out. I'm in the driver's seat, and even I can see that," he remarks. 

"So... are you?"

I sigh. "I don't know."

I don't understand. Why must we talk about this?

"Well, I can tell you now, as your oppa and 'mother of the trip'." I chuckle at his comment. "And as your friend, that you shouldn't be scared." I'm sitting behind him, so I can't see him very well, only from the passing street lights, but I can tell he is serious. "Like you said, he's your best friend. He cares about you and he would do anything for you, nor would he ever hurt you."

I know he would never hurt me, but society would. And if not me, then they'll hurt him— the career that he worked so hard for. I can't let that happen to him. Besides, an idol dating a fan is such a Hollywood, K-drama cliché. That crap doesn't really happen.

"He loves you, Ollie," Jin softly said, bringing me out of my thoughts. "I see the way he looks at you," he adds. I ignore that last comment. I didn't want to talk about this. 

We continue our conversation for a while longer, but I felt my eyelids begin to droop, and it was getting hard to stay awake.  

"You should get some sleep." 

He spoke again before I can argue. "Look, I appreciate you are trying to stay up with me, but you're exhausted."

An obnoxiously loud yawn escapes my throat, causing him to chuckle. He looks at me with a gentle smile in the rearview mirror. I lean towards the front, between the driver and passenger's seat, and hug his shoulder.

"Gomawo, Jin-oppa for listening to my silly complaints and for the advice."

He leans his head against mine. "It's what I'm here for," he says in a soft voice and gives me a sweet smile. "Now go to sleep." I nod returning the smile and lean back into my seat; I let out another yawn as sleep slowly took over.

About an hour later we hit a large road bump waking me up; Hoseok slightly falls over awkwardly leaning against me, still fast asleep. His head dangled forward over my shoulder. If we hit another bump his face will land right into my lap. 

Okay, this is awkward...

For a moment, I couldn't move; I feel my face heat up overwhelmed with shyness. Snapping out of my daze I move over, just a little, and gently place his head on my shoulder so that he's a little more comfortable. I glance down at him; he looks so peaceful, like a child. I try to hold in my smile afraid a laugh might escape. 

I can't help but stare and admire his features. His thin nose that lightly twitches like a bunny when he slept, his long face and perfect jawline so sharp, so strong, and his sweet lips, they look so soft and plump with that cute little mark on his top lip. I couldn't take my eyes off them. Before I know it I was leaning in—

Wait, what the hell am I doing?!

I shook my head in disbelief. Was I going to kiss him? I gape; my face heats up like crazy. 

*I mentally smack myself* 

I'm just a little sleep deprived— yeah, that's it. I need to calm down and get some sleep, even though I could never sleep now. At least he didn't see it, he's past out. Everything is okay. Suddenly I hear light snickers behind me. 

"Crap." I wince, slowly turning around. Even through the darkness, I could see V and Jungkook making kissy faces at me, along with Jimin wiggling his eyebrows. 

This is going to be a long drive.