baekhyun felt like he was going to be sick. his hands were clenched in tight fists as he got out his car, kyungsoo was with him but it didn't feel like it.

all he could focus on was the apartment building that towered over him, the graffiti littered walls that he grew up with glaring back at him. he stood frozen in his spot, seeing the picture on kyungsoo's computer was bad, but this was so much worse.

"baekhyun?" kyungsoo called out, turning back once he realised the male hadn't moved from his spot, "are you coming?"

baekhyun eventually snapped out of his stare off with the building in front of them, "yes." he let out a shaken breath, eventually following the small male to the stairs.

with each flight of stairs that passed, baekhyun's heart thumped faster in his chest. by the time they reached the third floor, his hands had grown clammy and the air suddenly seemed so tight around him. in a matter of minutes he'd see his parents.

maybe this wasn't a good idea. maybe he wan't ready yet.

but he couldn't think otherwise, especially when kyungsoo's legs were so persistent on pushing forward to the apartment at the end of the floor they were now on and he couldn't stop himself from following.

baekhyun didn't do anything when kyungsoo knocked on the paint chipped door of the apartment; the apartment he could vaguely remember from his younger years.

he wondered if it still looked the same inside. a part of him hoped it didn't. he didn't want to be reminded about it all right now.

"can i help you?" a female voice called out to them, her brows furrowed in confusion at the sight of the two males.

baekhyun didn't say anything but kyungsoo quickly spoke up as he turned to the dark haired girl, "i'm looking for mrs and mr byun, do they live here?"

baekhyun didn't know why he felt some sort of relief when the woman shook her head, he didn't feel ready yet, what would he even say to them if they were there? "i'm sorry but nobody lives there anymore."

baekhyun met kyungsoo's concerned gaze, noticing the pity swarming in his brown eyes. he quickly looked away. "do you know where they live now?" baekhyun couldn't help the question slip from his mouth. he didn't know why he was trying, maybe it was the look from kyungsoo just there, maybe the small male who came along with him also wanted to meet his family.

"i'll have to look into it, my father's the landlord here so i'll have to ask him." she replied, "i'm irene, by the way." her plump lips formed a gentle smile.

"that's great, thank you." kyungsoo's pitiful expression immediately lightened up. "i'm kyungsoo and this is baekhyun."

baekhyun didn't bother to look at the female, his eyes flickered back to the apartment door whilst kyungsoo began to speak to the helpful girl named irene. his eyes slowly trailed down to the rusty door handle, he couldn't stop his shaking hands from reaching out to it and before he knew it the door had opened.

it was unlocked.

"baek— what are you doing?" kyungsoo quickly looked back at the male once the sound of the door opening caught his attention.

baekhyun put on the best smile he could muster up, but his whole body was shaking. he avoided kyungsoo's question as