baekhyun was cautious at first after the reassuring morning spent with kyungsoo. he was worried that history would repeat itself, that he'd be so gullible due to kyungsoo's words; that he'd be abandoned again.

but things didn't go the way baekhyun always worried they would.

kyungsoo did stay with him, he didn't tell him to go, he didn't ever tell him he wasn't wanted like his mother had.

it was just the way things always were, before baekhyun mentioned that he'd murdered someone; before kyungsoo knew about jongin or the folders on his laptop.

days with kyungsoo soon turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and it was nearly a year since baekhyun had ever met kyungsoo; that fateful day. he remembered it just like yesterday, the leaves were just turning brown, the mornings more colder, university work piling up.

a part of him was nostalgic over his old ways. how liberating it was to just dive into a person he know nothing; how things were the way they'd always been. thoughts of his past were bottled up and pushed aside, he only cared about his obsessions and nothing else, but now that he looked back on it, it wasn't all perfect. it was as if he still had a weight on him, a ball and chain on his foot that restricted him from being able to handle the memories of his childhood.

the weight of his past that he never quite understood how to handle.

no one ever did tell him how he should cope with those things. no one stayed long enough to care.

but now he had kyungsoo.

and he was trying his best to change for him, he promised he would; not only to the male but also to himself because if he didn't keep up with this he knew he'd ruin it all once again.

he'd have no one and he didn't want that.

it was difficult being so confronted with his past, that his whole life things were never normal for him. he knew they weren't, he just never liked to think about it.

but he had to now, kyungsoo insisted on baekhyun to get help. a part of baekhyun didn't understand where to start, he didn't know what help meant.

he'd never gotten help before. the thought of getting help never crossed his mind. he would just bottle everything up, it always seemed like a good idea at the time, never dealing with his problems.

but years of that caused him to reach the brink. he couldn't do it anymore, he couldn't handle the constant weight on his shoulders, the constant burden of his past, and now he was dealing with consequences of that; now he was cleaning up the mess he'd made.

and one day kyungsoo mentioned therapy.

baekhyun wasn't sure at first. he was persistent that he was fine, that he could handle it all himself.

but deep down he knew he couldn't do it himself, it was matter of fact, everything the two had just went through was an example. he was always so reliable on kyungsoo, he always needed him. he always needed the reassurance that he wouldn't be alone.

and eventually he gave in to kyungsoo's constant wishes.

baekhyun never did enjoy it, constantly having to talk and open up about his feelings, how he felt about it all, his childhood, even now with his obsessions and being so suddenly pushed aside by his mother after he'd only just found her.

he always complained about it to kyungsoo and yet, there was an improvement, they both noticed it. baekhyun had learned ways to control his anger or when he was too overwhelmed.

yet the dogs still always got on his nerves.

the three little dogs kyungsoo and him had in their shared apartment, two poodles and a corgi; which was supposed to be baekhyun's but had mostly bonded with kyungsoo.

baekhyun had just finished a therapy session, which he wasn't too pleased with and not to mention his work, he had an average office job and the papers just kept piling up.

he was stressed and all he wanted to do was just go home and crawl into kyungsoo's arms for some reassurance.

he kicked his shoes off as soon as he got inside, letting out a groan at the sound of paws racing  towards him on the hard wooden floor.

the three dogs jumping and sniffing every inch of his trousers to welcome him.

he immediately pushed them aside, "go away!" he hissed, ushering them aside but they still jumped in excitement at the sight of their owner returning home.

"baekhyun," kyungsoo called out, his voice quiet from being in another room, "stop being mean to the dogs." he chuckled gently.

baekhyun wasn't so annoyed anymore, he was glad to hear kyungsoo's voice, his gentle tone calming him down, even to the point for a small smile to rest on his lips, a slight eagerness growing in his chest as he moved towards the sound of kyungsoo's voice.

the male stood in the kitchen, stirring one of the two mugs he had on the counter. baekhyun could only guess he'd went and made him tea just in time for him coming home.

"is everything okay?" kyungsoo questioned as he handed over the mug he'd just finished stirring to baekhyun who had now plonked himself up on one the counters; which kyungsoo usually scolded him for.

"i'm just a bit stressed about work, that's all." baekhyun looked down at the mug rather than the male in front of him.

"that's all?" kyungsoo rose a brow not entirely convinced.

baekhyun merely nodded in response, taking a sip from his warm beverage, the liquid warming his throat, some of his stress being washed away at just the thought kyungsoo made this drink just for him.

"baekhyun," kyungsoo sighed heavily, drumming his fingers off the marble countertop, "it's because of therapy today, isn't it?"

"how did you know?" baekhyun questioned.

kyungsoo rolled his eyes, "i'm not stupid."

baekhyun let out a breathy chuckle at kyungsoo's expression, "well, yeah, maybe that has something to do with it." baekhyun mumbled.

"do you want to talk about it?" kyungsoo questioned slightly, his tone becoming more serious, it always did when he thought baekhyun might want to let his problems out.

he always listened to him.

that was something baekhyun was always appreciative of when it came to kyungsoo.

"i just had to talk about my childhood a lot today," baekhyun sighed, remembering back to what stood out the most, what he mostly spoke about, "there was this one time at the orphanage, this family came in and they'd already tried fostering me but i guess i just wasn't perfect for them."

baekhyun noticed kyungsoo's frown so he quickly continued the conversation, "there was this girl, everyone called her wendy for some reason and they were going to adopt her, take her to canada. it was all she spoke about that day. i remember being so angry because it was supposed to be me," he continued, "so i grabbed a pair of scissors and when no one was looking, i chopped all of her hair off."

baekhyun couldn't help but laugh slightly at kyungsoo's shocked expression, "you know, it kind of sounds like something you'd do." kyungsoo commented.

"that's what we were discussing today," baekhyun summarised his therapy session up.

"then, why did it make you so stressed?" kyungsoo couldn't help but question, reaching out and brushing his hand through the male's thick, dark hair comfortingly.

baekhyun let out a sigh, sometimes he hated this. he hated expressing how he felt, he couldn't help but feel like an idiot s