baekhyun didn't want to wake up, he didn't want to continue this new day with the realisation that his family never wanted him.

it had all come flooding back, the memories from
his childhood, the memories of being shoved away, never wanted; never loved.

a part of him wished he never went at all, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much if he didn't know.

he didn't remember falling asleep last night, but he figured he must of burned himself out at one point from all the crying he did.

he eventually opened his eyes, greeted by the sunlight fluttering in through kyungsoo's partially opened curtains.

he liked kyungsoo's bedroom, it wasn't so lonely as his one at his old apartment or at minseok's. 

maybe that was just because it belonged to the male, rather than him.

he turned his head to look at the side of the bed kyungsoo was in, his heart slowly dropping at the empty space.

deja vu slowly crept over him, it was just like before, just when kyungsoo had left him. he couldn't do that to him, baekhyun needed him right now.

he sat up as he grew more frantic, kyungsoo couldn't just leave him like that. his breathing grew more rapid as he began to panic, he couldn't go through this again.

he couldn't go through those torturous months without kyungsoo again.

he clenched his fingers around the blanket tighter as his mind immediately went straight to the worst— kyungsoo had left him.

"morning."

baekhyun's harsh breathing immediately came to a holt at the familiar voice, the way the male always spoke to him made him melt, kyungsoo's voice always sweet like honey.

"is everything okay?"

baekhyun merely nodded in response before looking up at the male, noticing the plate of food kyungsoo had brought in his hands.

kyungsoo wasn't exactly convinced with baekhyun's response but didn't say anything; he wanted to speak to baekhyun later about all of this. he crept forward into the bedroom, eventually sitting down on the bed across from the male, the plate of food in front of him.

baekhyun's eyes slowly trailed down as kyungsoo placed the plate on his lap. he pursed his lips gently, hiding away the shying of a smile as he remembered the small action from all those months ago, it was the same toast and fruit kyungsoo made for him; the very first meal kyungsoo ever made for him.

"thanks." baekhyun quietly spoke up, his eyes darting up to kyungsoo before looking back down at his lap.

"no problem." kyungsoo smiled gently, tilting his head as he leaned down, wanting to know if this was a good time to go into what happened last night. baekhyun was quiet, strangely quiet these past few days and kyungsoo didn't know if he should say something, point out the sudden change in the male. he couldn't deny he was worried, he just wondered if it was the right time for baekhyun to know that.

seconds passed that were filled with silence before kyungsoo finally sighed, gathering up the nerves to blurt out the question that's been on the tip of his tongue since baekhyun got back last night.

"can you tell me... about last night?" kyungsoo quietly spoke up, his eyes still glued on the male across from him.

baekhyun let out a deep sigh as he finally lifted his head, keeping his gaze on kyungsoo. not knowing if he should even say.

"please." kyungsoo couldn't help but let his eyes fill with concern, his hand reaching out to gently rub baekhyun's arm, trying to ease the male into an answer.

"it just didn't go well, that's all." baekhyun responded bleakly, his eyes trailing down to where kyungsoo touched him, a trail of goosebumps left on his arm.

"why not?" kyungsoo tried again, he wanted to know. he didn't know why he felt so disappointed as well.

"i have a brother." baekhyun blurted out, his eyes quickly darting up to see kyungsoo's reaction, only catching the small glimpse of the male's eyes widening until he returned to his neutral posture. "baekbeom."

the name left his mouth feeling bitter, jealousy and disappointment swarming his mind as he was reminded about the sibling that had got everything he'd ever wanted.

baekhyun had spent countless days, wondering about the mother he lacked in his life when he was younger, watching most kids in his orphanage being fostered or reunited with family members.

but baekhyun never got that. all he could do was wait and hope he'd be next; but he never was.

"that's news." kyungsoo quietly replied.

"he's the favourite." baekhyun continued, not h