baekhyun wanted to go alone. he felt as though he had to do this, it was his problem, he’d dragged kyungsoo into it enough. 

he had finally mustered up the courage to get out his car and make his way up to the small house. it was surprisingly nice, the small garden outside was in good condition, the exterior of the house so much nicer than the old apartment. 

it didn’t feel real. 

his mother being behind that door. what if she wasn’t? what if he wasn’t at the right place?

the constant uncertain questions flooded his mind but he forced himself to knock on the door, he had to find out.

the door eventually swung open and baekhyun stood frozen. 

it was a women. she was on the older side, her dark hair long and wavy over her shoulders, her skin not old enough yet to hold a wrink apart from the creases beside her eyes.

“can i help you?” she called out to the male who hadn’t uttered a single word since she’d opened the door. 

baekhyun’s eyes trailed to the beauty mark on the top of her right cheek as she spoke. 

he always remembered it from his childhood, it was what made his mother unique from everyone else in his mind. 

it was her. it was his mother right in front of him and baekhyun hadn’t a clue on what to say, where to even start. 

he could barely utter a word than let alone breath, his whole body frozen like a deer in headlights. 

eventually her brows furrowed as she stared long enough at the male in front of her, “baekhyun?” she sputtered out. 

his name being called out snapped him out of his gaze, he gulped and all he could muster up was a small nod. 

“would you like to come in?” she questioned to her son that she hadn’t seen in so long. 

“that would be nice.” baekhyun eventually mustered up a reply, all he could hear was his heart thumping in his chest. he’d never felt this nervous before, he’d never felt so cautious of himself. he couldn’t mess this up, this was his mother, not some random stranger he wanted to be with. 

“do you want something to drink?” she questioned once baekhyun stepped inside.

“yeah, sure.” baekhyun nodded in response, taking a seat on one of the plush sofas. it was so much different inside than the old apartment he vaguely remembered from

his childhood; the place was clean and looked after. baekhyun’s eyes glanced over to his mother as she disappeared into the kitchen. 

maybe she had changed. 

he couldn’t help but let his eyes trail around the living room, still surprised at how nice it was, it looked like more of a home than the old apartment ever was. 

his eyes eventually stopped on the few picture frames on the bookshelf in the corner of the room. he couldn’t help but let curiosity get the best of him as he stood up from the sofa and made his way over. 

his eyes fell on the picture of a boy he’d never seen before. he looked a lot similar to his mother, in fact, he looked a lot like him. there were school pictures of him, with a heavy heart his eyes searched for one of him but they were mostly of this unknown male. why couldn’t she of put one up of him up?

there was even an old picture of his father, a reminder of what happened to him flashing in his mind. he felt like turning the picture frame down but he had to remind himself he was in someone else’s house. 

“i only remember you being up to my hip, you’ve grown so much.” his mother’s voice grew louder as she entered the living room. “how long has it been?”

too long.

baekhyun felt like saying that. too long. the constant questions from his childhood being brought up. 

why did she never come back for him? did she ever try to find him?

“a while.” baekhyun replied, “who’s this?” he couldn’t help but blurt out the question as he pointed to one of the picture frames of the strange male. he was in graduation robes, indicating to baekhyun that he must’ve been near his age. 

“that’s baekbeom,” she replied, placing baekhyun’s mug on the coffee table before coming closer, “he’s, uhm... he’s your brother.”

baekhyun froze at that. he didn’t know what to say. he had a brother... a brother he knew nothing about, it didn’t seem real, she had to be joking.

he couldn’t help but feel more disappointed at that. 

what about me?

“is he here?” baekhyun questioned before looking at her.

she shook her head, “he’s in japan, he’s studying to be a doctor.” baekhyun couldn’t help but notice the proud smile on her face as she told him that. 

baekhyun’s brows furrowed as he took in all this sudden information, his stomach was twisting with so much disappointment and jealousy he was struggling to keep it together. 

all his mind was focused on was how this sudden sibling of his got everything he wanted. 

“did you ever try to find me?” baekhyun mumbled out the question that was always on the tip of his tongue for years. 

“no.” she got straight to the point, “i didn’t.”

baekhyun couldn’t help but frown at that. he didn’t know what he was expecting, he just hoped she would’ve at least tried because he’d spent countless days, waiting, wondering if someone actually would come find him in his younger years. “why?—“

“baekhyun,” she let out a heavy sigh, “i had things to sort out first, i had to clean from the drugs and get my life sorted out.”

“but you did it for him.” his eyes glanced back to the picture frames, his voice quiet and full of disappointment, “you could’ve found me after, you could’ve tried but you gave him everything i wanted.” baekhyun blurted out as he pointed back at the picture frame of his new brother he knew absolutely nothing about; all he knew was that he was filled with envy and anger at the sudden sight of him now. 

“oh my god,” she let out a groan as she rubbed her temples, storming off the sofa she once sat on, “you should just be appreciative i even bothered to let you inside my house!”

baekhyun’s jaw clenched shut at those words. this was so confusing, so hurtful. this wasn’t how things were supposed to go, his mother was supposed to be nice to him, to love him, to be as warm and inviting as the way kyungsoo’s mother was to him. 

just the sight of her growing agitated made his hands clenched into fists. he had to keep it together, he had to. but this was so frustrating. why wasn’t it going how he wanted?

“i think i should be appreciative if you acted like my ing mother for once.” baekhyun spat back in response, his face was growing redder as the sudden emotions rushed to his head, his teeth bared as he fought back every curse he could aim to the woman in front of him. 

there was a small silence after that, baekhyun took the opportunity to try and calm himself down but it wasn’t helping. her being right there wasn’t helping, someone so associated to his past wasn’t helping the memories of it all stay away. 

“i never wanted you.” his mother eventually mu