Hey hey hey~

It’s me again. Obviously. You know, this is becoming embarrassing. My mom walked in last time I wrote in here. She thinks I’m either gay or really feminine. And she told my father.

Not that it bothers me that much.

You’re the only person I can talk to about my Jagiya. Yes, I call Alice my Jagiya. She is.

Well, in my head she is.

Anyway. It’s been over a million years since I last saw her. A million years without seeing her in actual real time is one week. So it’s been a little over a week since I last saw her. Or talked to her. Or done anything else with her. Not that I really do much since I’m quite the failure, but yeah.

Did I seriously say you were the only person I could talk to? Seriously? What the man. You ain’t even human.

That’s probably another side effect of not seeing her for so long.

Because yes, there are multiple side effects.

There’s the feeling that I’m slowly dying. Like, all the water inside my body is evaporating or something. Like, I’m becoming a dry dead body from waiting so long. Like those skeletons in horror movies.

Then, there’s being unable to focus on my work because I keep staring at the door and almost throwing the stuff I’m supposed to carry to the tables because I’d keep snapping my head around whenever someone came in. Just to see if maybe it was her.

And then there's how I kept calling everyone by her name. Dok2, ChaCha, Nicki, my parents... Everyone became Alice.

But it was never actually her.

Never. Niet. Nada. Jamais.

For a bit over a week.

And this felt like over a million years. And that’s a lot. And that’s why I’m being ing stupid and treating a diary as a person. And who even cares? It’s not like anyone can actually judge me over that. It’s a ing diary. No one’s gonna read or hear from it. Ever.

Well apart from my mom that caught me… And my dad ‘cause she told him…

Oh well. They’re my parents. They’ll still love me.

But it’s not all that bad.

Since a few minutes ago, it’s actually great.

Remember how she added me on Facebook? Well, no. Of course you don’t remember it. But yeah. She added me.

Well, I wrote this morning that I was looking for a dog.

And well. I hoped she’d see it. I’m looking for a dog because I can’t play with Peatry that much. I’m always working at the restaurant and… Well… Peatry’s bored. And antisocial. I mean, when I go walk him and we end up in the dog park, he ends up peeing alone in his corner and ignoring all the other dogs.

So I need a new dog to play with him. Like, both dogs could keep each other’s companies. But I didn’t wanna buy a new dog. ‘Cause then I’d buy a puppy. But I’d have to watch over a puppy. And I don’t have the time to watch over Peatry already…

So I thought I could ask around for friends that have dogs.

Not to steal their dogs. Just… You know, like, when they’re too busy to stay and play with their dogs, well they bring the dog over and both dogs just play together and keep each other company.

And seeing how Peatry liked my Jagiya so much and how she seemed to like him, I thought for sure that she had a dog.

So I hoped she’d see it. And say something.

But no.

Thiteya wrote. Yeah, I know. I shouldn’t be calling her like that. It’s just that everytime I see or think of her, I just have the face she makes when she catches me looking at Alice.

A mix of I’m-laughing-at-you and -you’ll-have-to-get-over-me-before-you-get-anywhere-close-to-my-friend faces. Great, I know.

She sent me a message to ask if I was serious about the dog thing. So I acted nice and answered her. I told her I was and she said she was on the phone with Alice and that Alice knew a guy that had a dog but was always busy and she said she’d tell Alice.

I thanked her and then for completely unknown reasons, I started talking about Peatry. I told her how lonely he was and how bad I felt for not being there enough for him and how he didn’t even try to play with the other dogs and all that stuff.

She wrote that she understood and then she left.

We told each other bye and I went for a piss.

When I came back, I saw heaven.

Alice’s name appeared on my screen at the bottom and there was that notification saying “Alice messaged you”.

And that was pure heaven. It felt like I was coming back to life. I twirled in my chair and I answered.

I’ll just… rewrite it all here.

Alice: Heeeey~

Thiteya told me you were looking for a dog for Peatry..?

Me: Hey ^^

Yeah I am~

Alice: Okay, well my friend’s friend has a dog but he’s always busy and his dog also started acting up and ignoring him. You want me to ask him? :)

Me: Yes ^^

If it doesn’t bother you.

Alice: I’ll call my friend now and tell you what he says, okay? Can you stay on a bit longer? Sorry I know it’s late haha.

Me: No no it’s fine~

After a few hours, okay, minutes, she wrote again.

Alice: I think he’s sleeping lol.

It went on voicemail.

Me: Ahh it’s okay.

Alice: Well I left a message so I’ll tell you what he said after he calls me back~ :)

Me: Okay ^^

Thank you~

Alice: I’ll go sleep now~

Good night. Sweet dreams :)

It took me less than three seconds to answer.

Me: Oh, okay. Good night and sweet dreams to you too~~ ^^

I’ll go sleep soon

Alice: Okay

Byeee

And then she was offline.

I said bye out loud. Just when Junior walked by to ask if I wanted to play Street Fighter with him. Yeah. He was practically living here.

I still lived with my parents, and he had no one with him at home. His mom was on a trip somewhere, his dad was gone somewhere too and my parents didn’t want him to be alone, so they told him to stay with us rather than be all lonely and sad.

So yeah. He looked at me weirdly, came closer, saw I’d been talking to Alice, and left, like nothing ever happened.

And when I was finally alone, I clicked on her name and… The stalking started.

I learned she was six years younger than me. Which made me feel like a bit of a e. But then, does age really matter? I mean, if she was like 14, it’d be bad. But come on. She’s turning 19 this summer. And I’m turning 25 this spring. It’s not that bad. And she’s mature. And… And I love her so off.

And then I went to the pictures.

I saw some really pretty pictures. Some that made me fall even harder for her. Which is pretty bad seeing how I’m already so into her.

I saw some funny pictures. Those that just scream how funny and nice and happy and outgoing and perfect she is.

I saw her in her prom dress. She was so goddamn pretty…

And then I saw her in a swimsuit. A black and white bikini. And I… yeah whatever… Let’s just say I’m a guy. And she has the hottest body I’ve ever seen. She had the perfect hourglass shape and the picture was taken like this. She was on the balcony on the second floor and whoever took the picture was on the ground. So… It was a view from below. So… the size of her s was clear. And…

I uhh… reacted instantly..? Yeah… So I just went back to a silly photo and calmed down. And then, I saved one of her pretty pictures on my phone.

And I deleted it right after.

What if one day she was beside me and I looked at my phone and she saw I had a picture of her? She’d think I’m a creep.

So yeah. Everything’s all good now.

Or not. I still hella miss her. Like, actually seeing her.

So I’ll let you go, Diary. And I’ll go sleep. Like my Jagiya. And I’ll go dream of her.

Until next time..? I don’t know man. Hahaha. See you the next time I write in your good old self?

man, I need to sleep.