Hey. You think voodoo works? There’s someone I wanna hurt pretty bad right now. Wanna know who? Oh come on Diary. I know you do.

I’ll take your obvious lack of answer for a yes.

I wanna hurt Junior so bad right now. So bad.

Wanna know why? Of course you do. What other purpose do you have in life anyway?

Wait… Can we say you live? I mean… You don’t seem to breathe or communicate or evolve. Well. There’s more ink in you everytime I write but you sure as hell don’t grow and all that.

Oh what the Jay. Seriously. Asking your diary if it lives. Someone kill me now.

No wait. Let me make Junior suffer first.

Oh right. I was gonna explain why I wanted him to suffer.

Let us begin the council.

Oh Jay. You fail more and more every minute. A council with only you and your diary in there. Yeah bro. You’re ready to rule the world.

Anyway. So today I was working alone because Mister Junior took a day off.

Basically, some girls invited him to go karaoke and he agreed.

Basically, the motherer was leaving me alone for work to go be a pimp somewhere.

.

But that’s not so bad, right?

The bad part is that he kept texting me all night.

He’d write like “Oh damn. You’re missing out” or like “Damn son, you’re gonna wish you were here”. And a whole lot more.

And when I asked him what was going on, he just sent a wink back.

And he kept sending winks every 20 minutes.

I just thought that maybe his phone was being a .

Silly me. I told him to come to the restaurant when it was over. Just to know what happened, you know.

Yes, guys like to gossip. Just like girls. What, you thought it was a girl’s thing? Well it’s not. Why should girls be the only ones knowing about what happens around them?

Yes Jay. Go and explain to an inanimate object how guys also gossip. That should teach it.

Where was I..? Oh. Waiting for Junior to come back.

Alright, so I waited. And he came at midnight. He brought a cake and I was getting ready for something epic.

You don’t get a cake for no reason. Maybe he was going out with one of the girls, or he was rejected and he just had the urge to eat a cake with one of his homies.

happens, okay?

And he was tipsy too. So I thought he was really rejected and he drank to get over it.

But no. See, when I took the cake from his hands to put it on a table, he said he had seen Alice.

Junior said he saw my Baby.

Junior. Saw. My. Alice.

JUNIOR saw Alice.

Not JAY saw Alice.

No. JUingNIOR saw Alice.

So the conversation went a little like this.

“Yo Jay I got a cakeeeeeee~”

I then proceeded to getting the cake.

“And I saw Alice”

After which Junior wiggled his eyebrows like the creepy er that he is.

And I delicately put the cake on the table. Sike. I literally drop it on the table.

“Oh. Really, Junior. Really. And how did this happen?”

“I invited her. Duh.”

I then told him to wait while I got a knife to cut the cake. And I accidentally took the butcher knife we use for the meat. Oops. And I went back to my best friend, tipsy--Junior-inviting-your-crush-to-chill-but-not-you.

“Oh. Wow. That is wonderful. And why exactly did you invite her?”

For your information, the tone I used to talk to him the whole time was sarcastically calm. You know that tone you use when your mom says you spend too much time on the computer or something and you’re just like “Yes mom. I am a zombie and I eat computers instead of brains. Of course.”

But Junior quickly corrected himself after my question. He explained that he had indirectly invited her. Lily and Sara had invited him to go karaoke one day when I wasn’t working and he asked if Alice and Thiteya would be there. So Lily and Sara asked Alice and Thiteya if they wanted to come.

“Oh. How nice of you Junior. You are so thoughtful.”

“I knooooow. But they were in another room. I was only with Lily and Sara. The others were in the room beside. But I went to see them.”

“Oh but please tell me more.”

“Okay, okay. So their room was so hot. ‘Cause like they were all moving and dancing and . Yo did you know she danced?”

“Why, I did not know. You sure are teaching me a lot of things tonight.”

Oh. I forgot to mention that up to this point, I was still butchering, I mean, cutting the cake. And making sure the knife always made a loud “CLAK” whenever one slice was cut.

“Well she dances. She was dancing with that guy-”

“Guy? Did you say “guy”? “Guy” as in a male human?”

“Duuuuuuuuh. What else does guy mean?”

“Oh. Silly me. But you mean to say that you weren’t the only guy there? Junior, are you telling me that you invited my crush somewhere without telling me AND you invited other guys? AND YOU DIDN’T THINK OF ASKING ME IF I WANTED TO GO? SERIOUSLY?”

When I write big, it means I was talking louder. Just saying.

“Whats? No. Thiteya and her invited the guy themselves. What was his name..? Joe? John? Jonathan? AH. Johnny. Yeah. Johnny. And she was dancing all y with him. Like they were all woooouh on each other ya know.”

When he said “woooouh”, he made a body wave. Which can be y move if done correctly.

“And then she danced on the wall too. It was xaaaayyyyy. If you didn’t exist, I’d totally tell her gurl you damn fine, what’s yo numbah?”

“Gurl you damn fine, what’s yo numbah? Wow. I’m sure she’d love that”.

And then I went on Facebook to see who the Johnny was.

I never should have. He’s good looking. Made me feel pretty damn inferior.

But Junior adds some more.

“There was Simon and another guy too.”

“Oh. And who the hell would that other guy be?”

“Simon. I just told you. He’s gay though. Ya don’t needa worry bro.”

“Yes. I know Simon was there. You said there was Johnny, Simon and another guy. Who was it?”

“Dunno.”

“And by that, you mean what exactly?”

“I don’t know who it was.”

“No . Who was he close to? What was he doing?”

“Calm down man. It’s Simon’s boyfriend.”

Well damn, Junior, you could have said so sooner. I was about to stab you with the ing knife.

“And now that I think about it, the Johnny guy’s also gay. Thiteya and Alice wanted him to meet Simon. They said something about showing him it’s fine to be gay and he’d feel better if he didn’t try so hard to keep it a secret or something like that.”

At that point, I almost wished Junior would choke on a piece of cake. Why did he have to make me panic before he told me?

And then something even worse came to my mind. Imagine Alice and Thiteya are lesbian and they’re dating.

Imagine I love Alice so bad but she likes girls and I’ll be friendzoned forever.

But then I thought about a conversation Thiteya and my Baby had when they ate here once. They were talking about love and stuff and Thiteya was telling Alice that she should get a boyfriend, marry and make a ton of babies ‘cause Thiteya wanted to be a godmother soon or something.

She said Alice should get a BOYfriend. Not a girlfriend. Ha.

And then I’d thought that I’d be a pretty good boyfriend.

I plan on getting married and I want children. There ya go.

So at this point I should’ve been fine with Junior, right? He was bringing me good news about the guys being gay.

It was all fine. Until he said this.

“And then they left around 11PM and Alice hugged me and then I stayed with Lily and Sara and left too and I got a cake and I came here.”

She hugged him.

She never hugged me. Not once. But Junior got a hug.

And that is why I will now go draw Junior’s face somewhere and tear the drawing into pieces.

Oh. And for your information, he drank at the karaoke for sure. I just hope it was after Alice left.

Now please excuse me, I have things to do. Good night.