“W-What do you mean ‘what are we’?” Hoseok asked with a shaky voice.

Jisoo exhaled, feeling like a weight has (slightly) lifted off of her shoulders. Thank goodness she let that question slip out. Ever since the last time they shared the bed (and honestly maybe even the formal gathering itself), Jisoo has been picking up on subtle hints that Hoseok may be developing feelings for Jisoo. At first she thought she was just being idealistic, but everything was sealed once Hoseok definitely almost kissed her that marvelous morning.

Has Jisoo considered what she’ll do if Hoseok completely disregards any chance of an actual relationship? What would she do?... She’d probably just end the fake relationship there. Not for her own sake, but it would be awkward if Jisoo made it clear she was developing feelings while Hoseok clearly was keeping it professional. But something inside is telling her that, just maybe, it’s not just a fake relationship to Hoseok.

“I mean… what are we? What have we been doing since,” Jisoo thought about when this relationship took a turn from completely fake. “The kiss?”

Ah, so it was the kiss that was the turning point in Jisoo’s eyes. Yes, Jisoo (and even Hoseok) haven’t been able to shake off that fluttery feeling from that highly-anticipated smooch.

“The kiss?” Hoseok replied, and let out a sharp, “Ha!” His hand swiped his forehead, feeling like he was burning up. “W-What do you mean?”

Jisoo narrowed her gaze at Hoseok’s sudden pacing and almost sarcastic tone. Is he making fun of the situation right now?

“Hoseok,” Jisoo said with a dark tone. The lad paused, finally facing Jisoo at the sound of her serious voice. “I know you’ve noticed it.”

Glancing at the door, Hoseok prayed that someone interrupt this intervention. He’s been avoiding this for a reason! Whenever he thinks about the possibility of himself developing feelings for Jisoo, he gets antsy. He can’t sit still; it’s like he has to escape from that thought even popping into his head.

But when he lets his mind relax, his times with Jisoo are always so… nice. It’s always refreshing hanging out with Jisoo. But then something reminds him that he’s letting his loneliness dissipate and he goes back into his isolated mindset.

Hoseok met Jisoo’s piercing gaze, his expression softening upon the eye contact. “This is very sudden.”

“So you’re not denying it.”

Silence.

“You know, I usually admire your confident bursts but right now I don’t know if I’m a fan,”

“Because I’m exposing you?” Jisoo smirked, knowing that she’s slowly breaking down Hoseok’s walls.

Hoseok plopped onto the bed, “Look… it’s complicated.” He groaned, “God I hate saying that. The amount of times I’ve been told that infuriates me. And now I’m saying it!”

“Well I’m sure it infuriated you because the situation clearly wasn’t complicated,”
 Jisoo then sat beside him, “But this time, it clearly is.”

Jisoo tried to read Hoseok’s expression, and she couldn’t. She’s usually so good at it, too! Clearly he’s at least distressed… but distressed about what? Letting her down? Acknowledging his true feelings?

As usual, the lady let Hoseok be quiet for a bit. A few minutes passed, and Hoseok was still staring at the ground, clearly deep in thought. But his expression became even more blank as time went on.

Well, that was until Jisoo rested her hand on his, saying, “What are you thinking about?”

Hoseok’s hand remained unmoved, but his gaze was now on Jisoo’s soft grasp. He finally spoke after a deep sigh, “Did I ever… tell you about the night I found out?”

Not expecting this turn in the conversation, Jisoo trusted that Hoseok was going to have a point with the story he was about to share, “No, you haven’t.”

“Jennie didn’t tell you anything?”

She shook her head, “She refused to. Even if she tried, I would’ve told her to stop anyways.”

“Good,” Hoseok muttered. He paused for another few moments, then said, “It was probably one of the worst nights of my life, if I’m being honest.”

Images from that night replayed in Hoseok’s mind. The familiar piercing knife that is betrayal rushing through his body again; and that feeling wasn’t necessarily because of Hyojung.

“Hyungwon was my friend since 2014 or so. We hung out a decent amount. Told each other stories from our trainee days and dating lives. Hyungwon also went through the experience of almost quitting his training, so we bonded a lot over that. He introduced me to Hyojung in late 2016, and I thought we hit it off right away.” Hoseok stopped his story for a moment, Jisoo giving Hoseok’s hand a little squeeze of reassurance. He continued, “Anyways, that night was going fine, for the most part. I did notice how, the week leading up to the event, Hyojung was a little distant. I thought it was because I was so busy with BTS promoting in and out of Korea. I decided to bring her into one of the offices for some privacy so we could talk things over. I thought my apology would solve it, because I thought I was the one causing her distance. But little did I know, nothing I did really affected her at all.”

“How did she tell you?” Jisoo asked with a whisper.

Hoseok pursed his lips, looking up at the ceiling to hold back any tears. He’s already gotten too emotional about this. There’s no need to cry about it anymore. “Well, uh, she simply told me.”

“Uh, what?” Hoseok chuckled awkwardly, feeling pranked, “That’s uh, funny?”

“Hoseok, I’m seriously telling you this. And I don’t want to say it so point-blank, but I-I don’t want to dance around it. You deserve to know the whole truth… I apologize if it sounds harsh, but yes. I’ve been with Hyungwon for a bit now. I think a little over a month.”

“What do you mean you’ve been with Hyungwon, Hyo? You’ve been cheating and you’re just telling it to me so… emotionlessly?”

“It’s because I’ve thought about telling you so much, so I have no emotions about it left…”

Hoseok was quiet for a moment, his frown slowly disappearing, “Okay.”

Hyojung tilted her head, confused, “Okay?”

“So why are we still together then? If you wanted to be with H-Hyungwon.”

“Because… I needed to get into this party to see him. And the last few, too.”

Hoseok’s expression went entirely blank, Hyojung taking a step back. “The last few?”

And that’s when she explained everything. She left the room right after she explained it, too. No time for Hoseok to react. “If she stayed, she would’ve still gotten no reaction from me. I think that’s the first time I felt totally… blank? I don’t know how else to describe it.” Hoseok shrugged, “I never felt any sort of anger towards her or Hyungwon. Betrayal towards Hyungwon? Absolutely. Anything towards Hyojung?... I have no clue. I think that’s all still packed away.”

“Maybe it isn’t packed away,” Jisoo responded softly. Hoseok looked at her with confused eyes, and Jisoo continued, “I think it’s pretty clear that those feelings that you thought were blank came up during our deal. I could tell that you were really conflicted at some points, but also… I don’t know. You just had moments where you stood there, not moving with an unreadable expression. Sometimes our feelings come up in different ways. Maybe you just needed to work through it by,” She shrugged, “moving on.”

“What do you mean?”

“How lonely did you feel?”

“When it happened? I don’t,”

“No. I mean how lonely did you feel after it all happened. Up until now.”

Hoseok was quiet, not breaking eye contact with Jisoo.

Oh .

“Quite.”

“I could tell,” Jisoo placed her palm on Hoseok’s cheek, “It’s alright to feel that way now.”

Hoseok thought about all the times he felt that dreadful sense of loneliness. Every time he shut down, it was always when… he and Jisoo were having a good moment. It’s like his body would just go into emergency mode and sent out a rush of internal isolation.

“Oh my god,” Hoseok sighed, “I’m so dumb.”

Yes he is! Why is he letting his mind shut him down to such nice moments!... And to such an amazing person?

“You realized it, huh?” Jisoo whispered.

Hoseok placed his hands gently onto her lower back, trying to fight his mind from reminding him of the unbearable loneliness he felt for the past year and a half. “I suppose we’re not so lonely anymore.”

“Well that’s what I’m trying to tell you, silly.” Jisoo responded with a chuckle, biting her lip in anticipation. She then admitted, “I know this was an agreement at first Hoseok, but… it just got more real. And it kept getting realer. And I felt bad at first,” her heart was pounding, but meeting Hoseok’s eyes again helped calm her down, “B-But I don’t anymore. Because I like us, Hoseok. We work so well together. Not only that, but there’s something about being with you, and sleeping next to you that makes me feel safe.”

Hoseok smiled, the thoughts of isolation quickly disappearing. His heart ached, wanting to bring Jisoo close to him, like it’s been held back for months… well, it has been! His anxiety-ridden mind overshadowed his heart, bringing in a strong wave of desire and affection.

So is this how it feels to let go of those binding and overbearing thoughts? He feels light, and loved.

“How long have you felt this way?” Hoseok asked softly.

“I realized it the night I met your friends, but I’d be lying to myself if I didn’t feel it after our kiss.”

He smirked, “It was a pretty good kiss.”

“Pretty good? Looks like someone’s lying to themselves.” She joked.

Hoseok rolled his eyes with a chuckle, “Okay, okay