Sometimes i thought is time stopped for me or it just me who stopped, halt, or stucked at one point. Lots of things events are playing around me continuously but there is void inside me a state of unsettledness inside which incresed after meeting those new faces specially the one guy who looked at me with those known eyes and that feeling of knowing of unknown, the shock the happiness  and than an endless pain.

After that day something also changed in Chanyeol. He looked lost, broke and became totally mute. It just feel like he is dying slowly slowly silently and it teriffies me.

I really don’t know what’s wrong with my hyung. I just want him to go back the way he was before that cursed day. But I don’t know how to do that. He is sad, I can feel him. He is in pain, but i'm unable to dissipate that so i does what i'm capable of "Stay by his side" although he don't talk to me hell he won't even look at me. I get up from my bed and walk toward hyung’s bed and sat beside him looking at his blank face.

“Hyung!” - I called out him touching his arm, shaking him slightly

“Hyung..are you Okay”- I asked him, he opened his eyes and look at me

“I’m fine Chen”-he smiled

“No.. you are not”- I shake my head in rejection of his statement

“Are you SAD?”- I asked him . He sat on the bed and lean his back with beds hardboard looking at me

“Are you---- Are you HURT somewhere”- I stuttered looking on my hands which are on my lap may be i'm wrong may be hyung is hurt somewhere in some of here's training rooms.

“Yes...it’s hurting” - hyung sighed

“Where….tell me where Hyung..we need to tell someone, a kind doc...he will heal you”- I panicked and get up from his bed to call someone to help us.

“No..Chen...i..i don’t need anyone”-he stuttered and lowered his head

“But… Hyung”-i tried to convince him

“I’m OKAY Chen… no need to see doctor”-hyung smiled. But I know this is his fake smile. I sit down again beside him

“Atleast tell me Hyung where are you hurt”- I asked him again, not giving up

He grab my hand and place it on his chest.

“Here--- it’s hurting here...too much pain, feeling like it’s going to explode any moment...my heart is going to explode any moment Chen...it’s hurting so much”-he looked into my eyes with pain

“He forget me...How Chen.. How could he.. How..”- he clenched my hand on his chest tightly in his hands grip.

“He is my damn brother Chen….He is my brother”-Hyung’s body start shaking and tears are start spilling out of his eyes.

“How could he?”- watching him like this is hurting me

“Hyung..everything gonna be okay.. Please don’t cry”-i touch his face with my hands to wipe his tears

He hold my hands in his hands, grip tight, looking into my eyes.

“Will you also forget me Chen like him...Will you—will you also”-he said to me with so much pain and I don’t know what came into and the next moment I found myself embracing him in the circle of my arms patting his back because that's the only thing he needs rightnow.someone to lean on someone to share, someone to assure him that everything gonna be alright though i don't know how nd when.

“No Hyung...i’m not going to forget you... ever”-i tighten my grip around him and I feel hyungs arm around me, embracing me and crying silently.

I pat his back slightly till he stopped crying.

“Hyung..please sleep..you need to sleep”-i said looking at his tired nd sleepless eyes.

“i won’t sleep...i’m not allowed to sleep anymore..how could i”-he murmured

“I tried Chen but I failed..like how I failed to protect my own brother..how I leave him to suffer all alone… in fact I don’t even know that from how much of pain he had gone through..it’s killing me.. I failed him”-he sobbed

“sssshhhh...no hyung that’s not true..you saved me hyung..you are my savior”- I cupped his face in my both hands trying to comfort him

“You...You saved me..hyung..when I lost you found me. you weren't failed in saving me - - - so please don’t say that”- I said to him with gratitude

“like you saved me someone also saved him..he is alive and alright isn’t it enough for you...you can see him again isn’t that enough to calm you...”- I tried again to calm him down coz looking him like that..too much broken..it’s hurting me.

He raised his head and looked at me, eyes again sparkling like before. I can see the calmness and hope back in them which make me smile.

“Now take rest hyung...everything gonna be ok..we will met him soon”-i pat his shoulder

“Thanx Chen.. will you..will you please stay with me here..i just...”- chanyeol hyung trailed off

“i’m here hyung..don’t worry..close your eyes nd sleep tight..i’m here sitting beside you”- I assured him

“Thank you Chen”- he said to me and lay back on the bad, put his arm on his eyes. I put my hand on his other arm moving up n down in a slow motion to calm him down. And then from no where I found myself singing..

When even breathing feels hard
And tears rise up

Some times
You can hide in me and cry
You can do that
Because it’ll pass

Fall asleep in my arms
Don’t wake up
Morning will come again
So you can peacefully dream
At the end of this loneliness
Just turn off the Lights today

When you lift your head
smile for me
so you can forget your pain

So you can fall asleep
With the small but precious memories

Now you’re not alone
Don’t feel lonely anymore
Morning will come again
So you can peacefully smile
At the end of this sadness
Just turn off the Lights today

(Lights Out by EXO- Universe)

And the pair of eyes came into my mind looking at me with painful compaint and betrayal written in them making me stop singing...I opened my eyes..touch my face with my other hand and found it wet..wet with tears...but why... why am I crying...why it’