Jungkook been walking around for more than 30 minutes, under the heavy rain and he started to feel dizzy and numb all over his body, it's freezing.. and the worst part of this is he can't find Yeri at all. He decided to get back for his phone and will try to call her.

He walks fast inside the house, drenched , freezing, shaking, he can't even walk properly but all the pain is nothing compared to how his heart is in a wreck thinking Yeri is gone.

"Where have you been?"

He turned his face to one corner of his living room when Yeri is sitting there, talking like nothing happened, still with her bag, not wet, safe and sound. He secretly thanks the universe for that.

"What are you doing here?"

Jungkook is certainly not in a good situation. His body is shaking, his lips turns purple, and Yeri is trying so hard to not care about that because that will just makes everything even harder for her.

"I..was waiting just like you said. But it's getting so cold and i..you didn't lock your door so I came inside."

"I thought you were gone."

"No, it was raining..why should i go out there like you to torture my selft? "

Jungkook is totally not happy with what she said. Because she knows it will sounds like she's belittling him for what he did..
 

He said nothing but nodding his head and walks passed by her, totally pissed off and in so much pain because of the cold.

"I know you were looking for me, but you don't need…"

"I need to do that. "

He came back to her and now stands in front of her while looking straight into her eyes. Yeri feels sorry but more than anything she suddenly has this feeling again, the feeling of wanting to hold him because she is so thankful for him and his existence. The kind of feeling she already trying to erase for the past two years.

"Just in case you're not aware. I am heavily traumatized by you who went missing. I feel like my head is going to explode, and my world is going to stop when you're gone from me, back before you went to Japan, or when you perished after the divorced.."

Yeri hearing his words while clutching her hands because this is just too hard for her. She can not say anything to prevent Jungkook from taking over her heart again.

"I need to find you. No matter what kind of person you are or who is the one who's staying with you for now. I just need to know that you are still in this world, living your life just fine..for me to feel at ease."

"Why do you think you're responsible to do that? We are a stranger now.. i.."

She finally able to lift her face to him, but now her eyes is already getting so teary, so does Jungkook who's basically looks tortured both mentally and physically by what she did. His shoulder is shaking so much from the cold.

"Because I love you that much.."

That is his last straw, Jungkook thinks that was the only words he could say to her after all these years. After getting hurt from what she did, the reason to why he did all of this and came back to find her, the reason is only that. He still loves her so much.

He finds Yeri is covering her face, crying. She looks so upset or maybe tired of him who keeps doing this to her and he slightly feels sorry. 

"Why did you do that really?" 

She talks to him while walking to his room and dragging his huge blanket, walking closer to him and wrapped him with that. She holds the edge of it and looking up to him before she puts herself inside. 

"I know what I did to you."

She brings herself closer to him while speaking in between her tears. Her scent, her warms, everything is never changed. It's just how the way Jungkook remembers it, the way she talks while looking down and avoiding his eyes is still endearing as ever. He can't stop watching her and he doesn't want to let her go so he put his arms around her waist and lucky for him, she's not reacting to it, not mad or angry.

"I was..scared too. When I heard about your life from others. You who leave your family, all your fortune and those lifestyles you had since forever. I know it was not easy."

She talks without looking at him but staring at his chest and using her hands to caressing it. Her voice is weak and husky because she's still crying, it makes him feel bad.

"I am in misery too, i can't live my life at ease, just like you. That's why I cried when we met again because I was so happy that you are still strong, the successful Jeon Jungkook that i knew.."

Her tears is getting more flowing and now her eyes are red as she keeps on crying, he can't help it but to wipe her tears using his freezing hands.

Yeri is surprised and flinched when Jungkook's fingers is tracing her face.It is super cold, she manages to stop her crying and looks up to him while holding his hands on her face and bring herself even more closer so that he can feel warmer, her clothes is getting damp and wet already. She can feel that Jungkook's right hands on her waist, shaking but holding her tight, like he doesn't want her to go from him.

" I tried so hard to become better because i knew one day, we will see each other again, and when that day comes, I'll beg for a chance to be with you again and fix what I did wrong in our life from before."

Of course, he needs to beg, after what he did to her life since the day they met until tonight.

Yeri is looking around and she doesn't know if following what her heart wants is a good choice for both of them. They have tried this before and the results are a mess, a hell.

"I'm sorry. "

Jungkook said sorry to her, and she knows that not everything is his fault. She has her own share too at becoming an evil who's hurting him. He looks like a mess with those messy damp hair and pale face. She's wrapping him with a blanket from before but not putting herself inside this time around. She uses her hands to caressing both of his cheeks after blowing it out to make it warmer.

"I always love you, i don't think i never stop for the past 7 years. Since that one day you ask me out until one marriage and a divorce. I love you, i always do. And i'm sorry too."

Jungkook is supposed to be happy even though he already knows this. But something seems to be bothering her. She's squeezing his arms as she's sighing.

"Love is never our problem."

He can not dispute that, she is right. So right.

He gives her a smile and taking her to his embrace as he kissed her top of her head to let her know that even with that, he still wants to make things right.

"You need to change your clothes. I'll make you something warm to eat."

Yeri pulled herself away and expecting Jungkook to follows her order for his own sake, but he's not. He's just standing there watching her walking to his kitchen like a statue.

" You can get sick. "

"Promise me, you will still be here when i'm done."

His words is totally intimidating and he has so much distrust on her, she close right away, a little bit annoyed but also embarrassed. Not his fault for having doubt but still..

"I promise, now go.."

He seems to notice that she is not exactly happy with what she did, so he leaves right away.

****

Yeri is roaming around the kitchen and opening the fridge. There is nothing much on here, so different from what they had when they're still married. The content of his fridge is mostly instant food, or leftover Chinese take out, cereal, plain bread, alcoholic drink the thing that she hates the most. Nothing is healthy in here.

"At least he has eggs."

She decided to make egg soup using this minimalized ingredients. It does feel like the old days, making food for Jungkook.

She's done putting all the stuff into the soup, the only thing left is waiting for it to boil. She grabs her backpack and taking out a sleepwear from that. She has no reason to leave right now. A heavy rain is still happening out there and she promised Jungkook to stay. She wants to be here, with him.

Yeri takes her bag and using Jungkook's room to change her wet clothes. This house is small, so much smaller than what he had before. There is only one bathroom, changing room is there inside his bedroom. There is another bedroom on the other side of the house. It's small but so much more human to her. If they live in this house when they were married things like lack of communication certainly won't happen.

She finished changing her clothes faster when she hears a quick and noisy steps behind the door. She gets out and totally dumbfounded when she find Jungkook with his jacket ready to open the front door.

"It's raining outside. Where are you going?"

He stares at her and his eyes are already teary, he close the door and takes a seat on the floor while covering his face. 

"I thought you were gone.."

He talks while groaning and she knows how much frustration he has behind those voices. He must be scared about her going away. Makes sense. After what she did and what he's been through.

"I promised you. Didn't i?"

Yeri is already in front of him, sitting on the floor just like him and bringing his face closer to her. Placing her forehead on his and give him a smile. He is mad, angry and also feeling stupid to actually treat her like this, like he's caging her. He got scared immediately when he failed to see her and he lost all his logic, thinking that his only goal is to find her. He's crazy and he knows it.

"I was fine for two years when you're not here because you asked me to leave you alone. But i can't really do this right now.."

He dragged Yeri closer to him and now they're just sitting on the floor, looking straight into each others eyes trying to work on something that have been ruined for so long.

"You are always so protective of me so I'm already getting used to it."

Yeri is trying to make the situation less serious by joking but Jungkook is not buying it. He looked even more depressed from a closer look.

"I'm staying.. you don't need to worry..i.."

She closes her eyes when Jungkook is bringing her face in for a kiss. The usual type of kiss they've been doing for a hundred times. It's not a new thing but she does feels new. It feels like she's kissing someone else, a different person, a different Jungkook. She can sense insecurities instead of confidence when their lips touched, even when he's trying to find a way out for his cold hands to hold her head and grabs her hair. Nothing is the same. He is scared.

And she's totally proven right when he abruptly stops what he's doing and gets up while taking off his jacket without saying anything to her. He walks away.

She does nothing but follows him and wondering if what they're doing right now is makes sense.

Getting back together with Jungkook as in involved in a marriage again is never her choice. And to actually learned how much they changed after all these years, she's not sure if she can get through this.

"Egg.. soup."

Yeri is changing her focus to Jungkook who's opening the cooking pot. It's boiled already so he turned the stove off. 

"Egg soup. I can only make that with what you have on your fridge.."

She takes his place and start pouring the soup into one medium size bowl and put in on the small dining table next to the fridge.

She knows Jungkook is watching her every movement even though he takes a sit without waiting for her and start to eat without she’s telling him to do that.

He says nothing as he keeps slurping the soup, not even a comment about its taste or offering her to sit with him. He just keeps eating without sparing her any glance. It feels like he's punishing her for something.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She came to realize that this is not her first time dealing with this and if back then, she never asked Jungkook about what's wrong with her because she doesn't care about others opinion,  including him, and now this is her second time ,she wants a change. A better one.

It seems that Jungkook also surprised about her question, because they never usually do this. They often ignore those ambiguous feelings about each other instead of finding an answer.

"Nothing."

He finished his food and gets up to wash the dishes. He's running the tap water on the sink.

"You said people changed."

Jungkook is turning his body when Yeri reaches out her hands to turn off the tap. Her voice is a little bit deep and somehow demanded. He's taking off his gloves and looking at her who certainly not content with what they're having right now. He said nothing when he realized that her lips are still a little bit red and damp after what he did earlier.

"I don't see anything changing from you, You were like this before too, and we ended up with a divorce.."

She talks with a little force and it's actually not something new for him. She always like this everytime she feels unfair or unhappy about how he treated her.

" Kim Yeri, how many times you ran away from me in your life? back when we had our first trip together, when Chaerin passed away, right before you're supposed to work in Japan, after our divorced. I am scared that you are being nice to me just to leave again, because that's what you did, and that's how you ruined my life on repeat."

Jungkook is wearing his gloves back and start working on the dishes. She can not say anything but to watch him on silent, she can not making any excuse about what she did. He is not wrong.

He finished his work after  a few minutes, and glancing at her before he's trying to leave the kitchen.

"I'm sorry." He managed to say that to Yeri, weak but she can still hear it.

"For what? For speaking the truth and pointing out my mistake?"

"I didn't mean it that way."

Jungkook totally looked frustrated and coming back to her right away, he does trying to sugarcoating what he said, he's stopping in front of her. He looks frustrated and confused, like he wants to say something but he can not bring it to his mouth.

"You did changed."

He's becoming more confused when Yeri is staring at him with a smile. She doesn't looked mad like how his expectation was.

"If there was something wrong with me, from what I said or what i did, you never told me. You were just going to ignore me and get mad at me."

She takes a deep breath, before using her hands to hold his arms. 

"It is so much more comfortable to hear you're calling me out like that. That way I don't need to wonder why you're behaving like a jerk all the time."

She comes to him for a hug, resting her face on his chest, and taking him closer to her.

"I never wanted to talk with you about what is wrong from you, because I was afraid you'll decline your job desk as my pretend-perfect-wife in front of others.."

Yeri is laughing hearing that sudden but not exactly unexpected confession. She knows it, more or less that Jungkook didn't bother to deal with her because he needs her to always be prepared and ready as his tools.

"Well..yeah, i will definitely offended but I like this way better. You were not making up things anyway, i did those horrible things, and I am sorry."

Jungkook says nothing but tightening his embrace on her and Yeri can not even lie about this being the most comfortable place for her to lean on.

"From now on, if you have a plan to leave me, I want you to be honest. So I can have more time to beg you to stay."

"I was being nice to you before I ran away because I want to make myself less guilty."

"I know exactly why you did that. And I want you to stop."

Yeri is closing her eyes, and keeps clinging into him even when he tries to let her go.

Doing this and staying with Jungkook after all this time is totally scary, she’s not sure if she will be able to do this again, but having him hugging her like this makes it worthy, at least for now.

****

Yeri is focusing her eyes to the TV screen as she watches Jungkook cleaning up the kitchen. There are so many things she wanted to talk about with him, but she knows that must be her last priorities. She still has something about her marriage , Heejun, his family, or life in general. She uses her eyes to following Jungkook who’s getting inside his bedroom and back to her with a quick steps, he looked so exhausted and tired. 

“You realized that this whole thing is completely awkward, right?”

She ended up saying that, when Jungkook is taking a sit next to her. He’s smiling when he heard what she said.

“Not for me, i am happy that you are here.”

Even though Yeri knows that the 2 years they’ve been apart is so much worse than the one they had before, she can not act like she doesn't feel relieved that she actually able to overcome her fear to be here right now. To be with Jungkook again. 

“But i understand what you mean with being awkward. I did a lot to you, and not everything were good.”

He realized that what he said could be uncomfortable for her, so he’s trying to make it up while patting her back. He thinks that hey probably should just call the night off and talk in a so much better surrounding later. So he gets up to help Yeri with preparing her guest room, but she stopped him. She forced him to sit back and making him turns to her.

Her movements are totally slow and small when she used her fingers to caressing his chest and started ing his shirt. She says nothing and even though it’s quite surprising for him, there is something else on her eyes, something that makes him realize that Yeri  has lots to say about what happened between them.

“I’ve always wondered if this wound i caused will ever healed or not..”

He changed his focus from her eyes to her hands and her fingers which tracing his shoulder. She talks fast, and he can feel how cold her hands is when she touched his bare skin. The wound is still there, he was basically dying because of that wound.

“That one healed better than the one you caused in here..”

Yeri is a little bit taken aback when Jungkook talked to her in a serious tone, while moving her hands from his shoulder to his chest. She’s looking straight into his eyes, and there she found the doe, big, sad eyes of him locking into her.

She shouldn’t have cried, Jungkook is the one who was hurt, he should be the one who allowed to cry, but Yeri can’t help it. She has been feeling guilty for what she did to him for so long and she is aware how much Jungkook got hurt, but to actually having him saying it with his own about how he suffered is making her feel a thousand times worse.

“You're crying again”

Yeri is hiding her face when Jungkook takes her for a hug, close to his bare chest. He can feel her tears on it. He let her do that for awhile, until she stopped and start to wipe her tears.

“ I cried because I feel so guilty for what I did,  because i never hurt anyone as much as I hurt you. I’m really sorry.”

Her reasoning is totally making him feels like a jerk, because he was no better than her and probably worse, from the beginning of their encounter until tonight, he can't even remember how many times he’s trying to hurt her.

He can not bring any words to console her, so he gives her a hug, a tight one where he’s actually lift her briefly and put her on his lap, so she can sit closer to him. She’s becoming so much lighter compared to what he remembers.

Yeri feels like a kid again when Jungkook is patting her back and ruffling her hair while she’s crying. She actually thought that her tears for him was already drained out when she was declared free from depression, but seems like she’s actually not. 

“I feel better now, you can let me go.”

Jungkook is holding her with both of his arms around her waist as she sits on his lap. They stayed on that position and it does makes Yeri feels better after a while. It’s warm and comfortable.

“I won’t.”

“I stopped crying.”  She’s letting go of her hands from his shirt and pull her body away from him so she can finally face him again. 

“You looked so pale.”

He does actually. She’s touching his face and his forehead immediately, but his body temperature was normal. She already knew how easy for Jungkook to caught a cold and judging from what he did before, she gave him a night before he actually got sick.

"I am fine." He gives her a smile when Yeri touches his cheeks and caressing it. His voice is husky

It takes her by surprise when Jungkook is holding the back of her head to give her a kiss which is certainly different from what he did before.

Having doing this to the same person for years, Yeri is already expert to judge what kind of mood Jungkook is having while touching her.

Including this one. It is hard to explain with words, but it's hard to stop the urge of wanting to be treated like that when he pulled himself away from her, so she refused to let him go.

And for Jungkook, it was like an open invitation from her to let him do something more than just this. He was being careful about it because he also insecure about Yeri's feeling. But after he knows that she's actually still has this much amount of affections, he became confident again.

He manage to makes her stand without let her stop what she's doing and bring her closer to him, so the kiss got deeper, faster, more intimate and totally something he missed out for the past two years.

"Careful."

Yeri is finally back to her senses when Jungkook stop their making out session and reminds her to be careful. His words are short but it is enough to break her focus.

"I haven't fixed it yet, so it could collapse anytime by now."

His hands pointing to a wooden chair she encounter last month, and she nods her head hearing that. She takes her time to catch her breath and staring at Jungkook who's no longer wearing his shirt because she took it off.

It was a sight she always see for years, and that's not supposed to  freaking her out or anything. But when she finds her hands shaking, and her eyes getting warm because of tears, she realized things have changed.

"Actually, don't worry about it, I'll just buy a new one.."

Jungkook is trying to reach Yeri's hand again, but she's avoiding him really fast. Her expression changed, and she suddenly turn her body from him while wiping her tears, trying to hide. He's coming to her slowly, and hold her shoulder, making her turn to him again and he finds her smiling while looking down.

"You know I never forced you to do something like this."

He said that words with a smile, trying to makes Yeri feels better. She nod her head quick, because she understands, even back then when they became an estranged couple for two years, Jungkook never asked her to sleep with him or force  her to fullfilled his need over .

He never going around to find someone else either, even though she already prepared for that situation. He keeps himself busy with his work, and start becoming obsessed with his goals to make money. He said it himself, he doesn't have time to think about something like that because he's busy dealing with her, his crazy mom, and Jooyoung.

"Even if there were times when I used you as a tool, it was never for cheap things like this. You are my wife, I made a vow to respect you my whole life.."

"I know."

She feels bad right away, knowing Jungkook probably feels like he's being rejected. It must be hurting his pride, but that's never her intention.

"Do you remember, we did the exact same thing back then? after two years of being strangers and then one night, we're allowed to do everything we wanted to do.."

"on that trip?"

"Yeah, on that trip."

There is a little giggle from her that makes Jungkook feels at ease again, she looked so pretty like this, when she held his hand and put it to her cheeks, rubbing it slowly, to make him feel better.

"I let you do everything you wanted, because i know how much suffering I put you through before that. Tonight too, i know how much you want me..but.."

"Why?"

"I am scared. Because the last time we did that, I got a life growing inside me, and I lost it in an instant..."

"Yeri-ya.."

"No, you don't understand. I lost a life, i was totally put myself on a pedestal because i feel so much guilt to you. I won't be able to experience that kind of thing again, i could go crazy that way."

There's a long silent between them after she said that, they're both busy with their own thoughts.

Yeri is recalling all the memories from the day she was told about her miscarriage and the days after, there's not even one day when she feels fine after that.

When she was alone, and her doctor told her that her depression is severe, she's hating herself for being so incompetent at taking care what was given to her. The thoughts about her and Jungkook as a happy little family keeps coming back even after the divorced and it takes a toll on her.

She hates her reality and the only thing she wanted was living in a dream, she keeps taking pills to sleep everyday, losing so much weight because she refused to eat.
 

And the worst part of that was her being alone. Not even Jungkook was there because she's a coward and she threw him away, thinking it was a better choice for them.

"You won't understand because you didn't even know about what we had!"

It's the symptomps, being mean and talking stupid. Yeri knows what she said is a complete bull, but that's the result from recalling memories about those times.

"It's not that i won't be able to understand, it's because I don't even have a chance to try. It's different, Yeri-ssi."

Jungkook is walking passed by her and picking up his shirts before wearing it again, he’s staring at her with a deep glare, and she is aware that he wanted to make sure that he's not happy, that he is disappointed in her.

"You lied to me."

He finished his talk after giving her a quick peck on her forehead and leave the living room, getting inside his bedroom and shut the door.

****

Jungkook find it ridiculous that Yeri can actually said those things to him, no matter how much he's at fault. The thing about their past is not easy for him too. There are so many things he wanted to do when he finally wakes up from his coma. He wanted to take care Yeri better but she won't let him. She ran away.

He's closing his eyes, trying to sleep for a few minutes when he realized that Yeri could be gone because of their fight. He rush to run to open his door and Yeri is standing there, in front of him.

Both of them let out a sigh of relief when they saw each other.

Yeri can't help but lost all her thoughts when Jungkook finally showed up. She was already trying to find a suitable words to say to him a few minutes ago but now everything is gone.

"It's hard, right?"

And it's Jungkook who actually talk to her first, holding his door half open while leaning his back on it. He still mad, and she knows.

"Coming and trying to make something work with someone who shut you off.."

That's a full force sarcasm and she can't help but takes an offend from what he said.

" I waited for you in front of your room almost everyday, waiting for you to forgive me or at least cursing me, getting mad at me or throwing me things, so you can feel better."

But her annoyance disappear almost immediately when Jungkook talk to him while giggling. His eyes are wondering but coming right back at her when he's done talking.

"I waited until I get tired, because I didn't even know what to say when you keep shutting me off. I feel like i was late and doing that will be useless."

"I..know what I'm going to say. Unlike you."

He laughs at her, because he finds Yeri is ridiculous, she’s still trying to argue and fight with him when he clearly showing that he is mad at her.

"And what is it?"

"I love you. I made mistakes and I'll probably keep making you angry in the future too..and I also know the problem we have was never about that. But I want you to know that even when you are mad at me… I will still love you."

Jungkook is not even a teenager, but what she said is totally making him feels like one again. He can't help but hide his happiness and embarrassment while staring at the floor. He can't hide his laugh though.

"I'm sorry. Really. I went through so much..and i..said bad things.."

Yeri is not sure how to say her words to sound genuine but when Jungkook holding her face and bump his head into her with a smile. She feels better already.

"Tell me all about that, even when it's too late... So i can understand it better. You know I'm terrible at guessing what is inside this stone head.."

She laughs when he flicks his head with his fingers. Hard and actually hurt but she thinks that she deserves it.

"So tell me. From now on.."

"Is it ok? You can tell me if this is uncomfortable or..awkward."

Jungkook is asking, begging.. for her to let him hold her while he's trying to sleep. He said he missed doing that, when in fact, even back when their relationship is still normal, he never did this. His arms wrapping her tiny body, his hands locking in behind her back.

"You're just afraid i’ll leave you when you were sleeping, right?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't i? You're good at running away from me."

"I won't do that, at least not tonight. It's raining out there."

She places her head on his embrace and trying to close her eyes as she barely able to hold her eyes open. It's almost midnight and so much things happened today. She is tired.

"Can you listen to this before you fall asleep?"

She open her eyes again when Jungkook is playing with her hair and making her looks up to him. 

"I know what we had. I was upset that I failed to protect you and the little life we created. I blamed myself too. Just like you, I have tons of dream about us being happy and complete..the three of us..but you know.."

He takes a deep breath and caressing her face as he give a kiss for her while smiling.

"That dream of having you again, being happy.. in a better circumstances with what I had before..was the one that made me forgive myself."

"You know I'm not someone who's relying on a dream for motivation."

Well, of course Jungkook is aware, that's why he choose to marry her in the first place . Yeri never pay attention to a fantasy, she never buying it. Even though she got married to a rich man out of nowhere, she never treated her life as a Cinderella story, she worked hard.

"I was like that too. Two years ago, I told you people changed."

Yeri is no longer responding to what Jungkook said because it's not as easy as how he said it. She ignores him and closes her eyes again as he patted her back to help her feel comfortable. She totally miss the way he's doing it.