"Isn't Much"

"You ordered fries, yes?" Jinyoung asks the older while checking the contents of the first paper bag. He looks up when he found none. "These are all burgers and nuggets. Did you forget to order fries, hyung?" He again asked, this time with voice matching his accusing eyes.

Mark however just shrugged as he puts another paper bag, a smaller one, on top of the hood beside the first one. "These are all fries and ketchup. Whatever, Jinyoung. I'll watch you drown yourself in cholesterol."

His cousin is giving him an unamused look, the kind which tells him that Mark's done with him but Jinyoung knows that's far from possible. Mark could never resign from him. He's his favorite, Jinyoung knows. Mark won't put up to any of their cousins to this extent but when it comes to him... it's different. Mark's different. And Jinyoung likes it. 

Thirty minutes ago, Mark has fetched him from their house. Jinyoung sneaked out, careful not to wake any of the helpers or worse, his mom or dad. When he successfully made it out of the house, he jogged to where Mark has parked his car and got in. They went to McDonald's to order some burgers, nuggets and fries for take-out and drove straight to the hillside. Since the spot is near the Namsan Tower, they could very well see Seoul's cityscape. The city looks even more beautiful at night. Jinyoung is glad they came across this place. 

They were still talking while star gazing when Jinyoung suddenly thought of the time. They've been staying there for almost three hours if he estimated correctly. He was about to check his phone when he noticed that he can't turn it on.

"I think my phone just died." He told the older, sitting up on the car's hood. 

Mark then checked his phone only to realize that he has the same fate. "Well, mine too." They exchanged glances for a few seconds before the older talked again. "We're in trouble aren't we?"

"I'm 90% positive at that." Jinyoung says before getting off the hood and straight to the car's window to peek inside and check the time from the radio. "Yep, we're screwed." He announced.

True enough, when they reached their house, both his mom and dad were outside with Mark's mom and dad waiting for them. Jinyoung was certain he'll be grounded for at least a month and he almost was, if not for Mark who stood up for him and took all the blame, saying he's the older one and he's responsible of what happened. Jinyoung would have been happy to escape his dad's scolding, but the day after, he learned that Mark was the one who got grounded.

"You should've just stayed quiet last night and didn't take all the blame, hyung. Now you're grounded and it's my fault." Jinyoung says, pouting while playing with his fingers as he sat on Mark's bed.

The older who was lying on his bed when he entered the room was now resting his back on the head board. "No, it's not. What are you saying?" Mark asks while giving him an incredulous look as if he still finds the situation funny. And by situation, he means Mark being grounded for two whole weeks with his car keys confiscated. Jinyoung starts to feel worse.

"It is. You took the blame because you didn't want me to get scolded."

"Okay, that's true. But still no, it wasn't your fault." Mark insists. He was about to say something and insist otherwise but the older beat him into it by speaking first. "I was the one who drove there and fetched you. I was the one who drove you back home past midnight. What part of it was your fault?"

Jinyoung pouts some more. "I was the one who wanted to eat fries last night. If I didn't call you and ask to meet up, you-"

"I will probably call you myself and still drive there." Mark said, finishing his sentence. "I wanted to see you last night. What happened last night can't be helped. It would've happened still, whether it was you or I who called who first." 

He could almost agree to what his cousin said but Jinyoung kept his pout. "Yet, still... I'm sorry." He tells Mark. "It to spend your birthday while being grounded, all alone in your room. Why is uncle and aunt too harsh on you?"

Mark laughed and Jinyoung almost smiles because the older's laugh is that contagious. "First of all, I am not alone. You came here and you're with me right now. Second, it doesn't that much. I spent the first few minutes of my birthday with you, didn't I? Getting grounded is worth it, if you ask me."

Refusing to be affected by the older's words, Jinyoung snorts. "You're an idiot."

"What did you say?"

Jinyoung laughed. "I said you're an idiot." He repeated before getting a small pouch and handing it to the older. "And happy birthday, hyung." 

Mark stares at the pouch he's holding before actually getting it. "What's this?"

"Open it to find out." He said, making Mark glance at him before doing what he said.

When the older did open the pouch, he took out a keychain with a replica of the Namsan Tower. Jinyoung watched as his cousin stared at the small figure, turning it around with his fingers until he noticed the small strip of metal where his name is written. 

"It isn't much." He said, still watching as the older continued staring at the keychain. "I didn't have any idea what to give you and what you want to receive but asking you is weird and not to mention stupid so I just figured I can give this to you. I thought it holds a special meaning because the hillside is special for the both of us. And this one..." he pointed at the metal strip. "This is my own handwriting. I wrote your name using English letters, see?" He proudly said, making the older look at it although Mark already is. "I meant to give it so you could put it in your car keys but it got confiscated. Just use it when you get them back. Or not. It's your decision whether to use it or not, really. Not because I gave it, you need to use it. It's fine even if-"

"I'll use it." Mark says, cutting him from blabbering more words. "Well, after I got my keys back of course. But I will definitely use this and yes, it is because you're the one who gave it." The older gazed at him softly while smiling. "Thank you, Jinyoungie."

"Are you going somewhere, mom? Dad?" Jinyoung asks as he steps foot inside their house.

It's a Tuesday night and he just came home from Jeon Holdings when he saw his mom and dad preparing to leave. They're dressed in semi-formal attires. His mom is wearing a dress while his dad wears a cream long sleeved polo shirt and slacks. It's past 6pm and they couldn't be dressed just for dinner. That is why he thought of asking.

"We are going somewhere." His dad answered, emphasizing on the pronoun. This made Jinyoung furrow his brows.

"Where to?" 

"To your aunt's and uncle's." Jinyoung was about to ask who in particular since he has quite a few aunts and uncles but his dad continued. "Your uncle Chen and Aunt Ji-Yeon invited all of us to their house."

Hearing their names kind of struck Jinyoung. His eyes met with his mom's who was looking at him with wary eyes. His attention was drawn back to his dad when he heard him talking again, this time facing him after fixing his sleeves.

"Today is Mark's birthday. They want us to celebrate with them." 

Jinyoung almost felt like he just swallowed his tongue. His immediate response was to become quiet. He wasn't able to say anything because he isn't sure how he should respond to what he just heard. But soon, his dad was talking again. "Mark just came back."

The whole ride up to Tuan's residence was quiet. Jinyoung sat on the back seat while his dad drove with his mom beside him. Jinyoung didn't say a word after his dad's sudden news. He just walked upstairs to change into something formal and met with his parents downstairs again.

While in the backseat, Jinyoung was trying to collect his thoughts and keep his head clear. He struggles in doing so because he is utterly confused as to why everything seems so normal. His mind is asking why is this happening and how. He was surprised by the news that Mark has returned from LA after more than half a year. But he was even befuddled as to why his aunt and uncle even thought of inviting him to celebrate their son's birthday with them. And his mom and dad agreed to this? Why? How was it suddenly alright for him and Mark to see each other again? Was seven months enough for their mistake to be forgotten and buried?

His train of thoughts was disrupted when he heard his dad say that they already arrived. He glanced outside the window and saw the Tuan's house. It has been so long since he last set foot on this place. It has been so long since the last family gathering. He saw his aunts' and uncles' cars parked outside. He also saw Jackson's and Yugyeom's car and that made him nervous. His cousins were here. Mark is here. How will he function in front of all of them?

But it was inevitable. He can't escape this situation. When his dad said that they should go out, Jinyoung only managed to take a huge depth of breath in the hopes of calming himself down even for a slight bit.

It had helped that when they entered the house, Jackson was the first one to approach him. His cousin briefly bowed to his parents before touching him in the arm. Jinyoung almost felt weak and just wanted to melt because of the mixture of unwanted emotions rushing inside of him.

"They brought you. , they really did bring you with them." Jackson whispered almost hissing. "I thought you wouldn't-"

His cousin's words were drowned by the sound of his Aunt Ji-Yeon's voice. She was standing by the entrance of the dining room, smiling sweetly to them. "Hyungmin oppa, you're here. Na-Young and..." His aunt's eyes met his. "...Jinyoung. It's good to see you again." If he'll be honest, Jinyoung isn't sure how he should feel with that. "Since you're already here, we should all head to the dining room. Dinner is ready."

Jinyoung saw his dad turning back to call him. "Come, son. They're waiting for us."

Jackson had no choice but to let go of his arm as the Chinese sighed heavily and gestured towards the dining room. They followed after his parents.

When they entered the dining room, Jinyoung saw his other cousins seated altogether at one side of the dining table. Jackson led him to one of the chairs and sat beside him. Jinyoung got to see how Yugyeom and Youngjae were staring at him but he pretended to not mind, still trying to keep his thoughts at bay.

His Aunt Ji-Yeon was the first to speak among everyone seated around the long table. "This is a bit sudden, isn't it?" She asked while laughing. "But I still thank all of you for coming here to celebrate this day with us. To be honest I didn't expect it, too. I thought it'll take him a longer time but... oh! Here he is!" 

Jinyoung saw how his aunt's smile widened as she walked towards the entrance of the dining room which was behind him and his cousins. He watched as his aunt made her way past them and into the door to welcome those who just arrived but Jinyoung kept his eyes staring at the table, fighting the urge to turn his head back and look. His other aunts and uncles as well as his dad and mom were all looking at the door. However, his cousins glanced at him first before turning their heads too and check. Only Jackson kept his eyes on him. Jinyoung tried to not mind.

"Were we late?" 

That voice.

It was enough to have him frozen. Jinyoung finds it hard to move, even to breathe. His heart is pounding so hard inside his chest that it almost hurt. He wants to clench his hands tight but he's afraid he'd get attention from the others who were seated with him so he resisted. He tried to calm himself down which is a lot harder than before. 

But then, a different voice reached his ears. "I'm sorry if we're late, eomeonim. Mark had to wait for me to get ready. It took me a longer time to get dressed. I didn't mean to cause delay."

Jinyoung could already feel his hands going cold. However, it's not like he has the strength to clench them anymore. He actually felt weaker when he heard that other voice. It's a female's voice. He could hear how sweet and cheerful her voice is as she speaks.

His Aunt Ji-Yeon replied, "You didn't cause any delay, okay? You are both just in time. Come, and I'll introduce you to our family."

That should be his cue to snap himself back and try to function normally which he already had failed on doing the moment he stepped inside the house. He heaved in consecutive deep but silent breaths as he felt the movement and heard the footsteps from behind him. He could've sworn he felt a heavier atmosphere cast over him when he smelled that familiar scent. 

It is him. He's here. He's back. .

Jinyoung still has his head down for the first few seconds when his Aunt Ji-Yeon reached her seat again but this time with two other figures standing beside her.

"Everyone, can we all welcome my son back?" His aunt said and that left Jinyoung with no choice but to raise his head up and look at his right. And as soon as his eyes saw the nest of hair which is now dyed light brown, Jinyoung could only mutter a curse in his head. He could see him offering their relatives a polite smile, bowing his head as he does. His aunt Ji-yeon was touching his shoulders as she speaks again. "It's been a long while but he's finally here with us again. I am so happy."

A long while, she said. Has it been that long? Jinyoung can't help but ask. If that's the case, then why does he feel otherwise? Why can he still recall every bit of that feeling he had that last time they all shared the same space? Why could he still recall the way his family looked at him, with disappointment, distrust and resignation? And why could he still recall the pain he felt when he heard those words: None of it matters. None of it is real?

"Mom..." Mark said, touching his mom's hand seeming to be embarrassed. 

Jinyoung can't do anything but stare. Until Mark's mom spoke again. "Before I forgot, let me introduce to you Yeri Kim."

That made him look at the young woman standing beside Mark, arms linked with the older. She has short black hair which only reaches her shoulders and is wearing a sweet smile. Jinyoung also didn't miss how she glances at Mark with bright eyes matching her bright smile. He starts to push the sick feeling down his throat. He didn't need any of it. 

"Good evening, everyone. Thank you for having me here." She said regarding them all with a smile.

His Aunt Ji-Yeon quickly took her hand and told her, "Of course we need to have you here. It makes Mark's day even more special, having his girlfriend with him tonight."

What were heard next were the voices of their aunts and uncles welcoming Yeri and greeting Mark a happy birthday but Jinyoung thinks he already resigned from trying to function normally or at least act like how he should. It now makes sense why he was invited here and why it was alright for him to be here. It was for him to see this- Mark with his girlfriend. No wonder why it was okay for him to go back. He now has someone. Well he really should have since from his own words, everything which happened before he left for LA, none of it matters. Jinyoung felt Yugyeom and Youngjae staring at him but he resisted staring back. In