Chapter 22

Jennie knocks her mother’s study room, this is the first time she’ll meet with her mother after her work in Tokyo. She had met with her mother before she and Chaeyoung went to Tokyo. The memory of the meeting is nothing but painful. Jennie didn’t understand why her mother didn’t let her to confess the truth. She may be understanding about the situation but sometimes we can’t hide the truth forever.

“Come in” Her mother’s voice heard stressful and distant, like Mrs Kim voice is not for Jennie at in front door.

Jennie enters the room, peeking at her mother sitting on her seat behind her desk in the study room. Jennie had never been here before, even before her memories lost, she had never been here. The unfamiliar feeling made Jennie’s eyes roaming in the room. She looks at brown wooden walls, it was classical. Jennie didn’t like something that shown its classical and traditional because it’s weirdly give her chills.

“Why’re you here dear?” Her mother says while taking off her glasses.

Jennie stares at her mother, sizing her mother again after a week, her mother still looks beautiful even though her age had reached 60. Her dark short hair was neatly combed, her white skin, invisible wrinkles, maybe her mother didn’t even have any wrinkle. Jennie never realise how many times she actually looked at her mother.

“You know why I’m here”

Her mother sighs, “I can’t do that Jennie, I can’t confess the what had happened. You also know why”

Jennie looks at her mother with disappointment. She had known that her mother wouldn’t do it, but still hearing it clearly for the second time, still hard. “We can’t hide the truth forever mother”

Her mother looks at her by a corner of her eyes, “Say, did you really want it to happen, to expose the truth?”

Jennie notes her mother’s voice heard with empty kinds just pure heartless and insincerely. She sighs, running her fingers through her brunette hairs. In a way it would give her some encouragement to answer, “Yes mother, I would like the truth to come out one way or another. I need to mother, I can’t live like this and did you know James is here now”

Her mother pinches on bridge of her nose, “Had you meet him?”

“I can’t say that I met him or what because it just for minutes, I can’t face him any longer and I’m afraid he had met with Rose”

Her mother doesn’t reply, facing down as in the floor is much attractive to land her eyes at. Her mother just hope that the floor would engulfed her and she wouldn’t be in this situation. Seeing her silence mother, Jennie continues, “I don’t know mother, I care about you that’s why I wait for you to confess. I can’t forgive myself if something happened again”

Her mother folds her hands on her chest, sighing, “So, if I ask you to get married with Lisa, would you? Even if you know you would lose Rose for good, would you?”

Jennie finds herself stop breathing, her chest tightened as the answer seemed to not be in her head or maybe she didn’t want to answer it at all. “Did you threaten me mother?”

“Oh dear, I wouldn’t do that” Her mother rose from her chair, she turns around facing the window behind her desk. “That’s exactly what I feel Jennie. I can’t do that, I’m afraid to lose someone I loved”

Jennie grips herself together, refrained herself from crying or screaming or maybe both. She can’t say anything, her mother is suffocating inside just like her. They both are awfully pitiful and selfish.

“I can’t forgive myself if something happened to Rose, mother”

“Then, you need to leave her”

Jennie heaves out the air, closing her eyes, ‘I hope this is the best’, She opens her eyes again. She looks straight at her mother’s head, “Could you give me sometime mother, would you?”

Her mother turns her head, looking at her by her shoulder, “I would try my best Jennie”

“Let me have a week, then I would get married with Lisa”

Jennie enters her butler’s room, seeing no sign of Rose. This is the second time she entered this room, one for giving Rose a letter. Then, this. Deep down, she knows that this would be the last time.

Rose has two wardrobes, one with brown colour and another one with blue colour. She feels the hard and cold of the wardrobe with her palm, before opening the brown one. It was Rose’s clothes filled in. She checks another one, like expected it was not for clothes.

Jennie stares at two big canvases inside, one of the canvas picturing Jennie when Jennie was laughing inside the pool in front of her house. Jennie pulls over the canvas seeing another canvas painted with Jennie’s face. It was when they separated, when Jennie ran after Rose.

Jennie lets her fingertips feeling the canvas. She stares at her face painted with tears rolled down on her cheeks. Her face looks gloomed and broken, Jennie moves her fingertips against her painted face. Every curve of the paint, Jennie tries to feel it. She roams her eyes on the paint, the feeling from the paint must be attacking her as the pictures of the scene came up in her head.

“It was beautiful”, Jennie comes up with the word, the paint is well-detailed of a woman who was sad and heart-broken. Jennie runs her fingertips for last at the painting, she takes note that Rose painted her eyes with longing feeling.

“I’m sorry my love”, She reads the sentence under the painting.

‘You don’t need to, Rose. When you know the truth, you won’t feel that way’, Jennie saves her thought deepest in her heart, she knows she would never forgive herself about what had happened.

Suddenly she feels arms around her torso, “I’m sorry my love” the deep and feminine voice that only one has it. Rose.

Rose puts her chin on Jennie’s shoulder. Jennie holds Rose’s hands on her stomach. She hums for Rose, “It’s okay, I’m okay”

Rose pulls Jennie closer to her, radiating both of their bodies warmth. Jennie closes her eyes, “I’m sorry for entering your room”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind because I’m yours so whatever mine is yours” Rose says on Jennie’s neck. Jennie closes her eyes letting Rose sniffing her smell, her milky honey shampoo attacking Rose’s nostrils.

“You’re talented painter you know” Jennie says referring to the painting inside the locker.

“I don’t think so, I just paint whenever I feel like to”, Rose takes a glance at the painting.

“That’s the natural talent then, woah, I can’t say if I’m not feel jealous about that”

Rose chuckles, “You don’t need to my love. You have a lot more talents than me. Now, look at you, a successful singer with top hits of albums. Plus, you have a beautiful face, so it’s a bonus.”

Jennie snorts at the sweet talks from the blonde, she had known that Rose is a sweet talker but when it’s exactly come for her, she feels a peak of warmth inside her stomach. “You sure are sweet talker and you know that I don’t like someone who’s sweet talker”

“Everyone likes sweet talker Jennie, you’re just being hard to get” Rose lets Jennie facing her but still she holds Jennie on her waist.

Jennie crosses her arms over her chest, “Sorry not sorry but I actually don’t” Jennie actually being honest though, she didn’t like a sweet talker but when it comes to Rose, she can make her cheeks warm with the things she hated.

Rose smiles, looking at Jennie’s coffee orbs, Rose’s lips slowly turned to thin line captured by Jennie beautiful cat-eyes. “Yeah, I know that but you like mine”

Jennie blushes at the remark but remembering her mother’s words again, uncomfortable feeling peaking inside her stomach, “Rose, I think I should go now”

Jennie feels Rose’s hold loosing, she takes the opportunity to pull off from Rose’s. She turns to Rose behind her, she was frowning “I thought you were staying?”

“No, I don’t, it’s late already” Jennie gives an excuse for not being with Rose right now.

“But, I want to spend time with you” Rose says with a sad tone, as she was sulky.

“I can’t Rose,” Jennie bits her inner cheek seeing a sulky face of Rose. She needs to get out from here as she wants the guilty feeling to go away. “But maybe a little snuggle wouldn’t hurt”, there go , betraying herself.

Rose’s sour face changed into a big smile automatically with the words. Jennie can’t help but feeling sorry as how much affection she has for Rose.

“Now, let me kiss you” Rose bends toward Jennie, pursuing her lips. Jennie feels the kiss is pure of love and she feels a tug on her chest. Rose pulls away after, “I want to ask you for date tomorrow evening, do you have some times to spare with me?”

Jennie chuckles, she nods, “I have, for you” Jennie lets herself getting pulled toward the blonde. Rose pulls Jennie on her bed.

Rose lays herself before pulling Jennie in her arms. They stir searching for comfortable position. Jennie closes her eyes, hearing Rose’s heartbeat, slow and steady. They have finding comfort to each other touches. “Do you have something to tell me Jennie?”

Jennie stiffs with the question, she didn’t want to say anything but she has something to say. She shakes her head, she runs her palm on Rose’s stomach that covered with her shirt. She makes circle pattern on Rose’s stomach with her fingertip.

Rose closes her eyes, enjoying Jennie’s gentled breathing. “I miss you”

Jennie’s three words makes Rose opens her eyes. She turns to Jennie, hearing Jennie’s soft and fragile voice saying that words, makes Rose’s stomach churned with uneasiness. “You heard sad. Something happened?”

Jennie shakes her head again, Rose feels the tingles of Jennie’s hair on her arm. “I just miss you”

Rose lips slightly curved upward, “I miss you too”

Jennie turns her head upward, in attempt to see Rose’s brown orbs. She makes a pattern again on Rose’s stomach, “Do you?”

“Come again?”

“Then, do you have something to ask me?” Jennie decides to ask Rose instead.

Rose averts her eyes down, thinking about something to ask, “I actually have. It’s about how you got your memories back”

Jennie hears Rose trailed at her last words however Jennie didn’t find it as a sensitive issue to tell Rose. But right now, she doesn’t have any desire to talk about it, “Maybe I rather show you than just explaining to you”

Rose knits her eyebrows, “How is it?”

“I got my memories in a place. I’ll take you there” Jennie smiles, hiding all of her burdens, her guilty, her mistakes behind. She needs to enjoy herself with Rose. The love of her life.

Rose smiles, “Take me then”

They share their fond stares. Jennie glances at her wrist-watch, “I need to go to my room now”

Rose frowns, “Jennie, sleep here tonight”, Rose drops her arm around Jennie’s waist, locking Jennie from going anywhere.

“You’re being too attached to me lately” Jennie attempts to joke about Rose’s clingy behaviour. She likes it a lot actually, but she can’t show the effects she got from the blonde action.

“Why, can’t I? I can do that because I love you. Is not wrong to show affection to someone I love” Rose glides her hand from Jennie’s waist to the latter’s cheek. She runs her thumb on Jennie’s cheek.

“I guess you’re right” Jennie stops making pattern on Rose’s stomach, she moves her hand away but Rose swiftly stopping her from doing so.

Jennie looks at Rose, confuse, “I like it, you touching my stomach. I like it when you make pattern on it”

Rose smiles when Jennie drops her hand on her stomach again. “You’re weird”

“Weird for you” They smile at each other. Times swallow their moment, without they realising the watch shown 2 o’clock at the morning.

“Jennie-Unnie”

“Yeah” Jennie hums with her head had find her way to Rose’s chest.

“Do you remember how you always came to my room at this time?” Rose breaks their silence with the reminisce of their past memories.

Jennie smiles on Rose’s chest, hearing Rose said it, the pictures flashed in her mind as the memories happened yesterday. “Of course, I remember”

Jennie always came to Rose’s room at 2 am just to talk about nothing. Sometimes, Rose had fall asleep so, Jennie would let the younger sleep. Sometimes, Jennie didn’t come at all, but it had become their routine.

“We’re being silly, I don’t know when we actually had our sleep” Rose says with a smile engraved on her face.

“But I like it, talking with you” Rose continues.

“Here I thought you hate it, considered that I always disturb your sleep” Jennie looks at Rose’s jaw, before trailing her eyes upward. Their eyes met.

“I won’t hate it when I’d already falling in love with you” Jennie makes a circle pattern again on Rose’s stomach, her heart fluttered with Rose’s words. Crimson red on both of her cheeks shown, she turns her head down, avoid Rose from seeing it.

“I don’t know that you love me at that time” Jennie whispers, timidly because her stomach has been corrupted with butterflies, she feels tingles all over.

“Fall in love Jennie.” Rose corrected her words.

“mmm, that. I didn’t know” Jennie feels the tingles more than before.

Rose smiles, feeling Jennie’s fingertip on her stomach, made her heart beating with warmth. “I love you more than you know Jennie”

Jennie looks up at Rose’s eyes again. She can’t refrain herself anymore, she kisses Rose. Jennie kisses Rose rather fast, she was rushing but Rose slowing her pace.

Rose kisses Jennie fondly with love. Rose takes her time to open every time they put their lips together. Rose holds Jennie’s cheek, run her thumb against it. The softness of Jennie’s cheek, she feels it with her thumb.

Jennie opens her eyes when they still kissing, she wanted to see Rose’s bare face. Her eyebrows, her eyelids that covered her brown orbs, her long eyelashes that curved upwards as she was wearing mascara over it, her pointed nose. Jennie knows she would never forget this. The feeling of Rose’s kiss made her eyes drooped close again.

Flashback

Jennie turned over, walking to the door, “Why you did this Jennie?”, Her mother’s voice stopping her from step out from the room. She turned her head, over her shoulder.

“What do you mean?” Her mother was facing the window, back-facing her.

“Why didn’t you just tell them the truth. Why you not confess? Instead you persuade me to do so”

Jennie took her time to answer, she averted her eyes from staring at her mother’s back. “Because you’re my mother. I love you more than you know, I don’t want you to become a crime alliance. It would leave me alone if you too were prisoning. I can’t bear the circumstance”

Her mother turned over, facing her with fondness, “That’s why you agreed to marry with Lisa”

Jennie stayed silent, that’s didn’t need any answer. They both knew the answer well. “I guess I’m right then. You don’t need to do that, I can help as long as I can”

“No, I can’t live like this mother. Knowing the truth made my mind corrupted with guilty, I can’t keep lying to Rose”

“You really care about Rose don’t you. I can see it, why you love her so much?”

Jennie glances toward her mother for secs before threw her attention toward the empty walls, “Because it’s Rose”