Chapter 20

Jennie wakes up early feeling sunrays kiss her cheek, her eyes squinted adjusting for the brightness of the morning. Jennie palming the sunrays from her face, feeling the cold warm on her palm. She yawns, her window curtain is opened and must be she forgot to close last night. Jennie climbs down from her bed, as soon as she exposed to the air, goose bumps felt through her body.

“So cold” Jennie sighs, realised that she’s . She walks carefully to pick up her shirt on the floor. Throw it around her body. She winces when she lifted her legs to wear her pants. “Here I thought the pain is gone already. Rose, you really suffering me” she hisses. She makes her way to her window after, taking the view of Tokyo for the last time. They would back home today.

A knock woke her up from her moment. “Jennie, can I come in?” Rose said behind the door. Jennie snorts, “Why would not she just barged in, is not that she hasn’t seen me or whatever”

Jennie replies it anyway, “Yeah”, with tired croaked voice.

Rose enters her room after opened the door with her leg as she was holding a tray of breakfast. Jennie glances at the blonde who’s smile sheepishly at her before throws her attention back through the window.

“I made you breakfast, how nice is it, breakfast in the bed!” Rose exclaims, putting the tray on a table beside her bed. Jennie stood still at her place in front the window didn’t care to spare a glance at Rose.

Rose sighs before raises from the bed walking at Jennie. Rose stands behind her and wraps Jennie around with her arms. Rose holds her tight around the waist, and she hopes that Rose can’t hear her beating heart. Rose puts her head on Jennie’s right shoulder. “What are you thinking about?” Rose whispers softly at her nape.

Jennie sighs tiredly, patting Rose’s hand on her tummy. She turns to the right to kiss Rose’s head lovingly. She pulls away, they stare at each other eyes.

Rose’s brown eyes bored into her coffee eyes. Jennie sees Rose’s eyes wavering and shining as if she looks at someone she loved. Jennie’s chest tighten, she runs her thumb on Rose’s hand wiping away Rose’s insecurity.

“Jennie…”, Rose’s voice filled with insecurity and it’s wavering as if Rose holding her tears. It’s actually right, Rose afraid that Jennie regretted what happened last night.

Jennie shakes her head softly to Rose knowing better what was Rose thinking about. “No. nothing Rose. I…I didn’t regret about last night”

Rose sighs, a bit of happiness felt inside Jennie when Rose smiling at her after her answer. Rose slumps her nose on Jennie’s neck, smelling Jennie like a dog, but a lovely dog. Jennie gasps when she felt sharp teeth her flesh. “R-Rose… don’t leave mark a-again”

Rose smiles hearing Jennie squirming because of her. She made it, she made Jennie Kim . Rose lets Jennie’s neck off from . Smiling again at Jennie like nothing happened.

Jennie sighs at the sight, she glances over at the sandwiches, boiled eggs, macarons, and breads on the tray Rose had bought into her room. “Hell, who will eat all of these?”

Rose smiles like a goat, “Of course, both of us, who else”, Rose lets off from Jennie. Sitting on Jennie’s bed after.

Jennie’s jaw opened, as she gapes at Rose’s answer. “We’re not eating this much Rose”, Jennie shakes her head.

Rose smirks while tapping her chest, “Don’t you know me, I can eat all of these even by myself you know”

Jennie sighs, thinking how can she forget that Rose is haunted by ghost if it come to food. ‘She’s devil when come to food’

Rose had caught Jennie off guard when she pulled Jennie on beside her on the bed. Jennie glares at Rose, “Rose! Don’t shock me like that!”

Rose smiles, winking at Jennie. “Sorry Unnie, but you sure talk too much, now I’m hungry let’s dig in” Rose pecks her lips before shoves a sandwich shell into .

Jennie shakes her head, ‘this girl really can make me have heart attack someday.’

“Mmmm, delicious!” Rose exclaims after shoved a full sandwich inside . Jennie sighs before she wipes some of mayo at the corner of . Rose lets Jennie wipe it off, nuzzingly at Jennie.

“Unnie, eat some” Rose lifts a boiled egg to her, Jennie smiles before reach over it but Rose dodged it before Jennie can grasp it. “Uh uh, let me feed you” Rose says with a smile.

Jennie grits her teeth, “You know that I hate when someone feed me right”

“I know” Rose puts an innocent face. “Now, aaaa” Rose puts the egg closer to .

Jennie sighs and defeatedly open letting Rose feed her this time. She takes a bite from the egg, chewing it while Rose looking at her amused. Rose looks at her mischievously. Jennie knitting her eyebrows at the sight, knowing something on Rose’s mind. “What do you think you’re doing?” Jennie says rather surprised when Rose drew the egg that she had bite to .

As she expects, Rose bites the egg, smiling at her while chewing. “Now, it’s indirect kiss”

Jennie facepalms at Rose’s act. Deep down, she feels her stomach at ease, and when it happened to her it just means one thing and that is she felt safe with Rose even though she knew the consequences of them to be together is dangerous.

Jennie stares at the blonde beside her that happily shoving foods inside , Jennie chuckles in her mind. ‘She must had forgot that she bought the breakfast for me not for herself’

Jennie shakes her head, a small smile planted on her face. Typical Rose when it come to foods. Jennie puts her head on her palm as her elbow on her knee. The chipmunk cheeks of Rose, showing when she smiled widen looking at Jennie beside her.

Jennie replies the smile, she didn’t know what she felt right then. Her mind drifted at the moment when she wanted to shout and snap at Rose because she was lying to her everytime she asked about Rose. But seeing this sight if hers again and knowing what actually happened, Jennie’s anger at her vanished.

She thinks again about last night, when Rose forced herself onto her and she should mad at her but no… she was easily forgave her. What can she do when her heart breaking after hearing the softness and vulnerable of Rose’s voice outside of her room. Rose was yearning for her and Jennie knew it.

Jennie knew it, but she knows at the end, they wouldn’t make it. Hell, Jennie didn’t even know wether is there any end of her life story. When she met Rose again as a member of Blackpink, a sudden dream came up as she wanted to live with Rose for the rest of her life. Marrying Rose maybe. But how naïve is she, life is cruel.

‘Rose, I hope that you would forgive me for whatever happen after’

Flashback

Because of Jennie’s health, she needed to always meet with her doctor, Doctor Val. Doctor Val is Spaniard. She’s the top doctor in Korea and Jennie learned that after met her. Every week, Jennie came to the hospital to meet with Doctor Val but every time she came, her butler was forbidden to accompany her and she found it weird at first but not putting any thought to that.

Today, Jennie felt awful, she got stomachache that she asked for the doctor to go to toilet but she stopped her way when she felt her stomach less grumpy. She made her way back then, she heard muffled noises of argument inside of Doctor Val’s room. Jennie decided to hear it, she put her left ear against the white door that had a tag of ‘Doctor Val’ on it.

“She seemed to retrieve some of her memories and I think anytime she can recover all of her memories.” Doctor Val’s voice.

Jennie heard her mother’s replies and that shocked her. “I don’t want to know something like that! Tell me how to forbid that from happening!”

Jennie’s eyes bulged when she heard that. ‘Why her mother didn’t want her to remember?’, she kept eavesdropped.

“As long as you gave her the pills that I gave then it would slowing her recovery but if one pill skipped, then the tendency for her to recover in short time is high”

Jennie shocked at the conversation. As a doctor and as a mother, how dare they do that to her. Jennie fixed her image and enter the room like nothing happened. Like she was not heard anything outside Doctor Val’s room.

When she knew everything, she skipped the pill and it’s hard consider that Allen always leave when she took the pill. So, she acted like she actually take the pill but spit it out when Allen went out from her room.

She felt that her memories came up piece by piece but still her memory about being a blackpink member didn’t recover. One day, Jennie met up with Jisoo at their so called Blackpink’s dorm she recovered a little bit of flashes. She remembered images of her playing game with her members and like Jisoo said it was four of them.

Jennie didn’t believe anyone at the moment, not even her butler. But, part of her actually wanted to believe her. Because she felt warm when she with Chaeyoung. Her butler always treated her nice and thinking that her mother didn’t bring Chaeyoung to visit Doctor Val. Maybe, Chaeyoung’s innocent.

And it happened, she almost, almost believed Chaeyoung.

Tomorrow morning, Chaeyoung informed to her to meet with one of her friend and Jennie shrugged it off as she also had planned for the day. She wanted to look at the apartment that she had bought one time ago that she didn’t even remember it.

She asked for Mr Choi to sent her. “Ah, Mr Choi, could you get me a steamed bun at a café nearest here”

“Okay miss”

Jennie smiles, she opened her phone when it’s beeped.

1 New Message,

From Lisa,

Jennie, I heard from Jisoo. You met her? And one more thing, why you didn’t say to me that you were looking for Rose. You know I can help right.

Jennie sighed, running her thumb on her phone. She turned to the car window, looking through outside view. She roamed her eyes at the café, “Mr Choi really take his time”

She stared at the café’s door, seeing people came out and in to the café. Then, a person with blonde hair and a cap on her head caught her attention. She looked familiar, and she sure it was Chaeyoung.

She climbed off the car, wearing her black mask and a cap afraid people would recognise her. She entered the café and roamed her eyes inside the café looking for the blonde. She spotted her at a corner sitting with a woman with dark black hair. “It’s Jisoo”

Right then, the blonde opened her cap and Jennie was right… It was Chaeyoung. She scrunched her eyebrows, “They know each other?”

“Miss Jennie? Why are you here? I’d got your steamed bun.” Mr Choi showed to her a packet of steamed buns. Jennie nodded, made her way to her car again but didn’t forget to steal a glance at Chaeyoung and Jisoo.

Jennie wondered in front of the closed door that had a number 14 on it. She came here without prepared that the room must have a password. So, she needed to call technician to change the password. Unfortunately, today is Saturday so they can’t make it. Jennie sighed disappointed and waste of her time. She glanced over the door for the last time before make her way out.

“Oh miss, done your work?” Mr Choi asked confused as she was back early to do anything at all. Jennie nodded not paying attention at much at the frown of her driver. Right after she climbed into her car, Mr Choi drives the car onto the busy roads.

Jennie slumped her bottom on a couch in living room, letting a tired sigh. She found that her butler still not home, and thinking about it, the picture of Chaeyoung meeting up with Jisoo confusing the hell out of her.

“How did they know each other… oh must be that they had met before, silly me, she’s my butler she must know my friends right…”

Jennie knitted her eyebrows, jolted her body at the edge of the couch, “But still why they met up and why Chaeyoung didn’t tell me so… What actually are you hiding from me Chaeyoung”

Jennie should’ve believe Chaeyoung but still she felt hesitance all over again. When she recalled wheels screeched outside, Jennie stood up abruptly thinking that she could make it to her room. Stopped midway, she frowned at her action, “Why would I want to run away from her?, I did nothing to her…”

Jennie sat again on the couch, reaching for a remote control, switched on the tv in front her. A drama shown on the screen, and she didn’t even think that she would actually engulfed with the drama.

She heard Chaeyoung asked her to sit beside her and she let her to. Jennie the couch wobbled at the sudden weight beside her. Jennie put a serious face, not spare a glance at the blonde beside her. Part of her wanted badly asked her about why she met with Jisoo but she held her tongue and just enjoying the drama.

She admitted that it was comfortable with Chaeyoung even though they didn’t talk all along the drama playing but after a moment where a hero of the drama sacrificing himself over his lover, Jennie snorted.

“What do you think?” Chaeyoung asked her, breaking the silence. Jennie felt Chaeoung’s gaze at her but Jennie can’t bring herself to look at Chaeyoung. Jennie stay focused on the screen, her mind gave a thought about the meaning of Chaeyoung asking.

“What?” She found herself ask Chaeyoung.

“That scene, what do you think about it?” Jennie gave a knowing look at Chaeyoung before staring at the screen again.

“It’s kinda sad but I think I don’t like it” Jennie said, it’s true though she didn’t like the story much as she found it was a fool decision to sacrifice ourselves for another human being. Is not Jennie despised or anything at the decision, it’s just she can’t bring herself doing the same thing at Lisa even though she loved her.

“Then, what do you prefer? Are you hoping for happy ending?” Chaeyoung’s next question kind of random and Jennie thought maybe Chaeyoung just wanted to start an empty conversation.

Jennie answered it nonetheless, “No, I’m not hoping for a happy ending but I might say the guy is fool, why would he do that? I don’t understand why people choose to sacrifice themselves because of love. Ain’t it foolish act?” She sighed when it came to the end of the drama.

“I don’t think it’s a foolish act”

“What do you mean?” Chaeyoung totally got Jennie attention this time.

“They were scared. We scared to lose the one that we love so that’s why lots of people choose to sacrifice. Rather than live in dismay, they choose to run away far from that” Chaeyoung’s answer may or may not shocking her because she had found Chaeyoung as a passionate person but still her answer heard so pure as she really felt it.

Jennie kept silent as Chaeyoung continued, “Then the boy not a fool, I might say that he just afraid to lose her”

Jennie interpreted the words rather too serious to her liking. She let her gaze staring hole at Chaeyoung side profile. Couldn’t blame her, because Chaeyoung at the time was breathtaking. Her smooth blonde hair covered her face as she faced down. Her fingers fidgeting and Jennie could say that Chaeyoung was thinking about something.

Chaeyoung faced up after, turned to her direction letting she sees the brown eyes of hers that now looked like a shattered glass and held a lot emotion in it.

Jennie found its familiar and an image flashed through her mind. Chaeyoung looked so familiar at the moment but the distance from them, the way they acted toward each other seemed off. Like something not right.

Jennie saw Chaeyoung’s eyes brimmed with tears as its were shining than ever, and at the moment she kind of scared of herself because she really wanted to reach for Chaeyoung’s cheeks and run her thumbs on it softly. Console her as much as she can until Chaeyoung’s eyes flowed with happiness and stars. That was happened and she had to refrain herself from doing so.

Instead of reaching for Chaeyoung, Jennie said “You look sad”

Chaeyoung gave her a mere smile a weak one. Jennie trailed her eyes at a tear that now rolled down from Chaeyoung’s eyes. Jennie let herself went for it, she wiped every tear that dropped from Chaeyoung’s as she rubbed her thumb on Chaeyoung’s soft fluffy cheeks.

“Did it remember you about him?” Jennie came up with that thought because there’s else she know about Chaeyoung other than her only love that she said that she still can’t forget. Jennie admitted, she kind of jealous of that person as she can take Chaeyoung’s attention and Chaeyoung just being a loyal as she is, she still loves him no matter what.

“Him?”

“Yes him, the love of your life that you once said that you still love him” Jennie knitted her eyebrows at Chaeyoung’s question, why would she asked something like that. Of course, they were talking about her only lover who else right? ‘Or… she has another lover. Tsk, I don’t think so’ Jennie dismissed her thought, saying that maybe she did confuse Chaeyoung with her sudden mentioning about her lover.

“oh him… maybe…” Jennie did felt envy at the said person. “it’s always her” Chaeyoung mumbled and Jennie heard it and hearing her instead of him kind of taken her back but she dismissed as maybe Chaeyoung just slipped her tongue saying ‘her’ instead of ‘him’.

Talking about lover, Jennie’s mind drifted to a certain banged-haired girl, Lisa that she had known as her lover ever she woke up as an amnesiac. She didn’t know how to describe her feeling at the latter, she likes her, she cares for her but still she can’t say if she’s in love with her or not. She can’t say the three words that Lisa always utter to her.

“Chaeyoung” Jennie called after Chaeyoung, her eyes gazing ahead, “How did you find out that you love him?”

Chaeyoung seemed to recompose herself before answering her question, “I don’t know, I just knew it. I don’t know the specific time or what but I knew it when I start to always missing him. He kind of always in my head everyday”

Jennie nodded, and she thinks that she never felt it with Lisa at least not always. Lisa came up to her mind sometimes but not that she was feeling the missing pieces of something when Lisa is not around, she just thought to spend time with Lisa a little bit, nothing much.

Jennie and Chaeyoung talked a little bit before Jennie decided to ask about her meeting with Jisoo. “How your meeting with your friend?”

“Everything is good. I think I’ve missed her a lot. It’s been long before we’re not seeing each other. It’s nice seeing her again”

“Do I know her?” Jennie’s heart thumped, anxious about Chaeyoung’s answer.

“You don’t know her” Jennie nodded, ‘Lie, I know her… you lying Chaeyoung’

Then Jennie realised that she can’t believe Chaeyoung. Jennie gritted her teeth, Chaeyoung said that she always had her back but right now Chaeyoung had prove her wrong.

Jennie wanted to believe Chaeyoung but she can’t.