Chapter 18

“Gosh, you can do this Jennie, you can do this, you can do this” Jennie mumbles to reassure herself. She walks back and forth for hours but her breath still shallow and her heartbeat fasten and she feels a dump of sweats on her forehead. She’s nervous, it’s like all the confident from before from yesterday vanished.

She realises that she really hates reality show right now, she about to have one. Her hands shaken when a crew called after her to start the show.

Slowly, she walks outside, enter the nerve of her work.

Chaeyoung stands behind the footage as she watches director said to get ready to stars and the shooting starting. Chaeyoung had successfully persuaded James to meet Jennie another time as she doesn’t want any scene at the shooting set.

Chaeyoung smiles brightly at Jennie when their eyes met but scoff immediately when the sly fox is actually trying hard to caught Jennie’s attention even though they are actually on tv.

Chaeyoung knows Jennie’s nervous with her wavering eyes that always glance at her, once a while Chaeyoung sees Jennie gritting her jaw tight. Chaeyoung needs to distract Jennie to relax.

She takes a large drawing paper and a marker at the set. She writes something on the paper. Jennie narrows her eyes at Chaeyoung wondering why suddenly Chaeyoung doesn’t look at her. She needs her right now, as she feels so nervous right now.

Jennie is not fond with live show and her viral statement yesterday doesn’t help her.

“So, Jennie, I heard the you’re gay” The host asks her, it’s not even heard as a question and Jennie doesn’t like the tone of the host saying it.

“Yeah kind of” Jennie is trying hard to not being a stuttering mess, when actually she’s about to be one. Her heart beating fast as she can even hear it clearly. She hopes that she doesn’t make fool of herself today.

“We actually have a lot of messages from crowd to you actually, some as no matter what I still love you. Wow, they were actually supportive” Once again Jennie doesn’t like the tone of the host. She feels her hands sweating. She starts to feel nausea again.

She bites her lips as she clutching her grip tighter, she glances once again at Chaeyoung and she smiles as she sees the blonde rising a white paper high on the air.

MISS JENNIE you slay!!!

Jennie hides her smile afterwards, she stays focus on the show slowly a new strength creeps inside her body. and, Chaeyoung has another way. She rises another white paper,

MISS JENNIE you’re so beautiful!!!

Jennie sees it and trying hard to restrain herself from burst into laugh. She grins at Chaeyoung though. Chaeyoung caught on her breath when Jennie grinning at her. Staffs beside her must be realise it as they glance at they both. From Jennie to Chaeyoung. From Chaeyoung to Jennie.

Chaeyoung rises another paper in the air,

MISS JENNIE don’t worry

Jennie’s smile wiped slowly as she sees the words, she answers for whatever the host asking her but her mind is busy and excited to know the continuous of the Chaeyoung’s sentence.

At the cue, Chaeyoung rises another paper,

I’ve got your back, ALWAYS

If Jennie can run away from there, she would unthinking runover Chaeyoung, hugging her until their breath stop. Jennie would actually burst into tears in Chaeyoung’s arms.

“So, how did you know that you’re gay… I mean that you’re not the same as others?” Jennie hates the words from the host as she really wants to strangle the guy until death but she holds it professionally. She glances over at Chaeyoung before braving herself.

“It’s start when I was in middle school. I got many of male friends, I’ve went out with some guys but I’ve never feel the spark or anything. I just feel empty until I kissed a girl, then I felt it. I felt the spark. And I start to realise that I love girl” explained Jennie with a smile.

Chaeyoung drops her paper, she stares at the brunette in front of lot of cameras, shocked at the answer. Right then, Jennie turns toward her, smiling as nothing. Chaeyoung smiles back rather forcefully.

She grits her teeth. She wants to be away from the brunette right then. She needs space to come up about why Jennie is actually remember when she found out that she’s gay? ‘She lost her memory, right? Did she regain it already? Or she just made the answer? But the answer is exactly how Jennie realised that she may into girls.’

Chaeyoung retreats her feet from the scene hiding from people’s view, especially hiding from Jennie’s view. Throughout the shooting, Jennie always glances toward the place behind the cameras, at the crew, searching for glimpse of her butler. But no, nothing. She doesn’t see her.

‘Where did she go?’ she thinks.

She tries hard to stay focus but fail one more thing she’s really annoyed with the dark hair girl beside her, Sooyeon that keeps touching her from while now.

‘Chaeyoung, please I need to see you’ She prays.

“Okay, now we may proceed with the song. Let we hear our superstar JENNIE KIM”

Jennie left alone on the stage as everyone gather in front her. Jennie watches crews come up to set a stand microphone in front a chair. One more time, she trails her eyes around the room, looking for a certain blonde.

Seeing nothing, she proceed to walk to the chair, sitting in front the mic. She breaths out through the mic, “I hope a certain person hear this.” She says loud and clear for netizens to hear through tv.

Sounds of streaming guitars and piano heard at background. She clutches the mic with a hand, closing her eyes, she starts singing along the melody of background sounds.

I can’t forget about you

You know?

I still cry thinking about you

I was impatient

And complained, I’m sorry

You said you only wanted me

The laughter and memory of me and you

Are erased by another love

I hate it, it’s faded

The groove of the song, her voice echoes the whole room made everyone stop at their pace. All eyes focusing on her, her singing with soul as she really mean it. She caught every soul attention but she just hoping for a soul to listen to her.

As she sings, now it comes for the chorus, made everyone hearts stop beating, ears focusing on every little word she poured.

I’m asking you to come back somehow

I’m begging for everything to go back to the way it first was

I say that I’ll wait but

You can’t come too late

Don’t distance yourself…come closer

…Please

The song ended. It was a whirpool of emotion, it’s seems as Jennie is actually pured the emotion from the bottom of her heart. Silence engulfed every soul in the room, before they regain themselves standing clapping to the star. Jennie breaths out, blinking her eyes toward the crowd.

“You’re awesome Jennie, I don’t know that you can sing ballad that good” A voice snapped her in the dress room. Jennie glances over her shoulder at Lisa, standing with folded arms behind her.

Jennie sighs before closes her eyes again, she retouches her make-up before stands up walking to a near couch, she slumps her bottom on it. She lets out a tired breath.

“What do you want Lisa?”

Lisa smirks, “Is that how you response to your girlfriend?”

Jennie closes her eyes, she rests her head at the back of the couch. “I’ll be nice if you’re not acting like a desperate girlfriend that want nothing but tie me”

Lisa frowns, she admits that she had been forcing Jennie to marry lately. “Well, I need to Jennie. You know why”

Jennie sighs again at the sentence you know why. Both of them know, but still Jennie can’t bring herself to accept Lisa to marry. She just cannot bring herself to always tied and stick with Lisa when she knows that her heart never for Lisa.

“I’m not ready Lisa. You know it already”

Lisa snorts, “Whatever. Oh, by the way she came for me last night”

At the mention of she, her eyes snapped open at the banged-hair girl, “What did she want from you?”

Lisa narrows her eyes, thinking about the conversation “I don’t know she just asked me to help you to remember again”

Jennie keeps silence, ‘why suddenly she wanted that?’

Lisa sees the troubled face of Jennie, she can’t lie but she really care for Jennie. She sits beside Jennie, “Why you didn’t tell her Unnie?”

“I don’t know Lisa, I don’t know…” Lisa takes Jennie’s hand, intertwining their hands. “But thanks Lisa… thank you for try to be truthful to me”

Lisa hums as an answer, “You know that I love you Jennie. Always will”

They smile fondly toward each other, Lisa eyes travel to Jennie’s lips before refocus to her eyes again. “No matter how many times you reject me Jennie, but I’ll pursue you as long that I can” Lisa pours every word with sincere.

Jennie knows that, she believes the words from Lisa because right now she just can believe the person that now sitting in front her. Lisa is the only one whom help her, telling her about Rose being. If not with Lisa’s help, Jennie won’t reach until here.

Jennie squeezes their intertwining hands, “See, you can be nice if you don’t talk about marriage all the time with me” Jennie says with teasing tone.

Lisa rolls her eyes, “Oh please Jen”

They laugh before Lisa attaches their lips together. Jennie willingly kissing Lisa back, she doesn’t know how to describe the kiss but in her mind, she still feels that the kiss is not quite right.

Chaeyoung walks behind them carefully for not to get caught trailing. Chaeyoung had been informed from Jennie to not wait for her as Lisa would send her back home but Chaeyoung didn’t do so. She needs to protect Jennie so wherever Jennie goes, she follows.

Instead, she follows them from behind with taxi until Lisa’s car come to stop at a park. Chaeyoung grits her teeth watching Lisa pecking Jennie’s cheek at an ice cream stall.

Chaeyoung realises lately her jealousy rising as she always around Jennie. ‘What happened to me? I’m not like this before’ She thinks about herself. She finds that she become more possessive toward the brunette. All the times they shared as a butler to Jennie is something that she cherished about. Chaeyoung falls hard for Jennie, and she afraid of the outcome because she would helplessly broken at the end.

Karma might right.

“I hurt her before, now is the time where I need to get hurt too” Chaeyoung stays behind a tree that present at the middle of the park. She observes the smile widen of both Lisa and Jennie.

‘You look happier. You do’ Chaeyoung swallows the pit of bitter feeling. With a sigh, she looks around, well she still has duty to protect Jennie wherever her go but right now she just wants nothing but run away from witnessing the couple.

When Lisa and Jennie enter a cubicle of ferris wheel, Chaeyoung runs to the front pushing others, just so she can take another cubicle beside them.

Chaeyoung stares at the couple talking and laughing at random conversation. When they reach at the peak, Lisa holds Jennie’s cheeks with bot hands. They stare at each other, eyes to eyes before Lisa drops her attention to Jennie’s lips.

“I love you Jennie”

Lisa slowly reach for Jennie’s lips as Jennie close her eyes. Ouch, Chaeyoung averts her eyes from the scene. She sighs looking around from eagle’s view. She smiles sadly as a vivid of memory of her and Jennie kissed here. She tries hard to not seeing Lisa as her that kissing Jennie right now.

Next stop Lisa and Jennie stop at a fancy restaurant. Chaeyoung follows after when they enter inside the restaurant. She shoves her hands inside her black leather jacket, she enters after.

She sits at a table beside a window, her favourite place to watch any unwanted intruder. Jennie and Lisa table is two table separate from her, but she can see it clearly.

Her eyes trail to Jennie that walks to bathroom. Chaeyoung slumps on her seat after a waitress come up to her. She orders just a cup of coffee.

Chaeyoung hears footsteps coming for her even though the restaurant kind of crowded but Chaeyoung has a sharp pair of ears.

“I know you would be here. Done follow us?” Lisa sarcastically throw a question as she confidently take a sit in front Chaeyoung. It’s not surprised Chaeyoung as she knew it already that Lisa had realised her present.

Chaeyoung shrugs her shoulders, doesn’t bother to reply.

Lisa narrows her eyes toward the blonde that sipping coffee calmly. “For god sake Rose! Just leave us alone. I need to have a proper date with Jennie”

Chaeyoung doesn’t reply instead, she puts her coffee on it’s plate. “Aren’t you have mouth to reply or you came with nothing” Lisa throws another remark.

Chaeyoung looks upfront, “I need to, and you know it too”

Lisa sighs, “Why are you doing this Chaeyoung?”

“You need to help me Lisa, I need to caught the culprit”

Lisa glances at the bathroom as Jennie had out from, Lisa stands up, looking down to Chaeyoung before uttering, “Didn’t you realise that, she already gained her memory.”

She already gained…

She side watches Lisa and Jennie hugging before sit at their table. “If she already remembered, why she pretended to not know me?”