Chapter Nine.

 Baekhyun. 

I kissed her. I kissed her. I ING KISSED HER.

I stare at my reflection on the stream as I sigh. Damn I can’t keep up with this heart of mine. I told myself to stay away from her but I keep on going back to her. And look at you getting all flushed because of what you did Byun Baekhyun. I reach over to get some water to splash on my face.

“OH GOD THAT’S COLD!” I jump in surprise and wiped my face on my sleeve. Now I’m wet.

“It’s spring so..” I turn seeing So Ah. She walks close to me and wiped my faced with her handkerchief. “Jinyoung sunbae finished cooking. He told me to call you.”

“I’m...I’m fine. Not hungry.”

“You have to eat even just a little or else it won’t be good for you.”

“But-“

“If..If you’re embarrassed to eat with me then I’ll eat outside. I’ll see you later then-“ I grab her wrist and look at her. Damn, a little bit more and this heart if mine will beat out of this chest. How the hell does she gets prettier every time I look at her? This is illegal. “B..Baekhyun?”

“I’m sorry. About what happened earlier.”

“It’s okay! You’re just.. You’re in the wrong page right? That’s fine! It happens!” I can tell that she’s faking that laugh right now. But I might really think I’m in the wrong page in my life. A really wrong one.

“So Ah, you’re weird ever since the day of the school festival. Did something happen? Are you oka-“ I was about to hold her but she stepped back. She forces a smile and nodded.

“I’m fine. Totally fine!”

“So Ah! Wait!”

She runs away from me and I can’t help but to stay. I don’t even have a right to ask how she is when I’m probably the reason for it.

____________________________________________________

 Se Ah. 

“So Ah! Let’s go?”

“Oh, uh, I’ll go ahead Unnie. No need to drive for me to school. Bye!”

“Ah wait-“ So Ah runs through the front door and leaves. I wonder what’s with her these past days. She doesn’t come home or go to school with me anymore. I sigh heading to the fridge to get my water when I saw Chanyeol coming down. I got my hiccups again so I grabbed a glass and poured water on half of it chugging it all in.

“Are you still not talking to me?” He says.

“I’m leaving now. Bye!” I ran to the front door to my car and started driving. I can say we’re really twins. Whatever reason So Ah has, she’s definitely avoiding me.

When I reached school, I noticed that I’m an hour early so maybe I can rest at the classroom. I barely got any sleep ever since the festival because there are a lot of things to do in our org. I walked over to the school backyard when the strawberries caught my attention. I enter the greenhouse and stare at the strawberries.

“I wonder if I can take just one-“ my eyes widen at the sight of Baekhyun. He’s surprised seeing me too. I stand picking up my things heading out.

“Se Ah wait!” He called my name. He now knows I’m Se Ah and not So Ah.. I should be... glad right? “Are you still avoiding me? Let’s not do this anymore okay?”

“You recognized me.”

“You’ve cut your hair. It’s different from So Ah’s.”

I let out a laugh. “Of course. I wouldn’t want us to be mixed up again-“ I would hit myself if I could. YOU JUST SAID THE WRONG WORDS AHN SE AH. “Wait no! It’s not what-“

“Sorry. I really am Se Ah.”

“Baekhyun-“

We both freeze hearing the greenhouse door open and I saw So Ah with Minseok sunbae. She’s looking at us in surprise. “You’re both here?”

“No! We didn’t meet So Ah, we just-“

“I didn’t ask.” She replied.

“S..So Ah?” Did she just act coldly towards me?

“I’ll go ahead now Sunbae.”

“Ah, wait! I’ll go with you!”

I freeze facing Baekhyun. Words are mixed up on my head right now and I can’t let out the right words. I exhaled shutting my eyes closed. “Did something happen?”

He shakes his head no. “Nothing. That’s what I would like to know too. She’s been acting strange since the school festival.”

“D..Did you tell her? Did you tell her about us?”

“No.”

“Then why? She’s been avoiding me for a while too! I can’t have my sister avoiding me Baekhyun! I just can’t!”

“Se Ah-“

“No... Don’t touch me.” I turn away from her and left. What do I do? What should I say to So Ah? I’m so puzzled right now I think I’m going insane. My eyes are getting blurry from my tears. I sat on the bench hugging my knees and cried.

“Damn it.. I need you Chanyeol...”

____________________________________________________

 So Ah. 

Unnie’s being defensive and I just snapped. Why did I even do that? Baekhyun and I aren’t even in a relationship and I don’t have a right to be like this. But why does it hurt so much? Even more than when I was sick back then? How can my heart hurt like this?

“So Ah!”

“Sunbae..”

“I’ve called you many times but- You’re crying again.” I looked away and wipe my tears. I have to stop. Not in front of sunbae. “Look at me So Ah.”

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah, and you’re voice is shaking.”

“I... How? Why do I feel this way? Why is it so hard?”

“You don’t deserve this.” I stop looking at him. Why does he talk like he knows? Or does he? “I kind of overheard what happened. To whom? I won’t mention because it’ll just complicate things. What I want to ask is how did you know about them?”

So he knows. Sunbae knows all about it. Even how Baekhyun and Se Ah felt for each other. “At.. At the festival.. Baekhyun went for counseling and he confessed..”

“What? Did he know it was you?” I shake my head no. Sunbae releases a breath and I understand his frustration. “So both of them don’t know that you already know about them?” I nod. “God So Ah. How can you carry this alone? I’m here. You should’ve said so earlier!”

“I don’t know... that time.. it’s.. I..” I gasp when sunbae pulled me towards him and hugs me.

“Just cry it all out.” I nod and hold on to his shirt as I cry. “I’m here with you. It’s going to be fine.”

****

My parents told me that even though Se Ah and I are identical twins, we’re the complete opposite of each other so back then, Se Ah and I had the idea of fooling them, testing them if they can tell whether we really are ourselves or not. I guess most of twins are like that. They fool other people because they think that it’ll be fun. But I think it only works on people who really know you. Not people who don’t really know you. Chanyeol can tell whether it’s me or my sister. Even when Se Ah and I had the same hairstyle because she thought that it’ll be handy whenever she helps me to sneak out of the house to have fun. I wonder if it’ll be like that if Baekhyun knows me more. I wonder if he can tell who I am now from my sister. I wonder if he can tell apart his feelings. Is it me or my sister that he really likes? Maybe that’s hard for him because he’s still confused.

“So Ah?” I flinch realizing that I’ve stopped piling all the printouts that Kwanghee sunbae was supposed to get later. Now all the papers are on my feet, flooding them and I can’t even get a sight of my shoes. “Are you okay?”

Baekhyun runs over to my direction and helped me pick up all the papers. “Oh my god! I’m so sorry.”

“Let’s get these and just organize them at the table over there. Sunbae’s class won’t be over until an hour. We can do it.”

I look at him and he looks so calm as he do his work. I can’t seem to do it with all of the thoughts flooding in my head. We finish gathering all the paper on the floor and make out way to the table.

“Each paper has a page number. Let’s do it by tens and a total number of two hundred six. One to one-fifty will go here and the rest yours. Is that okay?”

“Huh? Uh, yes.” He’s so calm when I think it’s about time to panic. Or why do I feel like he’s panicking already but he’s trying his best because he knows I’m panicking?

I start looking at the pages one by one and hand him all the pages that belongs to him and grab what’s mine. I stare at him in between and realized how long his lashes are and how white his skin is. How he had such long fingers and how black his hair is. I shut my eyes closed snapping out of the thought and continued with my work. We finished after forty minutes and I sighed. I can’t believe I just make him work when he had a lot in his hands already. It’s because I’m spacing out too much.

“Thank you and I’m sorry for making you help me Baekhyun.”

He smiles patting my head. “No worries. I need a little break from my work and you gave me one.”

I chuckle. “That’s a break for you?”

He nods. “Yeah, it always is whenever I’m with you.” My heart skipped a beat and he realized he said something that he never should. I want to tell him that I know. That I know that he’s confused right now and I’m curious to know if he still is with what happened these past few days.

“Baekhyun, want to go home together today?” I would slap myself for asking that question but I’m so lost right now.

“Yeah, sure.” He replied. The door opens and Kwanghee sunbae enters. “Here’s your printout. We’re going home.”

Baekhyun grabs our bags and takes me with him. I follow him to his car and he opens the door for me. A small kind gesture makes me smile.

“Is that fine? That we just left like that?”

“It will be.” He smiles and starts the car. “Hey So Ah?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you be scolded if you’ll be home late?”

“I don’t think so, why?”

“Can I take you somewhere? Just for today?”

I stop to think but there’s no thinking about this. This is Baekhyun asking me to a-I don’t even know if this is a date so I just nod. He starts driving and I just watch him. I stare at his hair. His hair is so captivating I wanted to touch it but I restrain myself because if I do, it’ll be bad.

After an hour we arrived at the ocean and it’s still sunset. Another first with Baekhyun. He sits at the edge of the road and I sit beside him as we stare at afar. “Hey Baekhyun?”

“Hm?”

“You know ever since I met you, I experienced a lot of firsts and coincidentally, it’s always with you.”

“Really? I’m honored.” He smiled and I do to. I stare at the sunset and grab the polaroid from my bag snapping a photo. “Polaroid?”

I nod watching the photo come out. “I started doing this ever since I was told that I was going to die so I had an idea of what if I can live my life to the fullest each day and take all those memories with me? So I asked my Mom to buy me one. I didn’t expect that my life will be extended though.” I chuckled.

“And I’m thankful for that.” He says and I stare at him again. This time I think restrain have left my vocabulary. I touch his eyelashes and he closes his eyes as I do. My hands trail from his eyes to his cheek then to his hair. It’s so smooth that whenever my hands go through them, they fall back exactly as how they are before my fingers fell through them. He should be in a shampoo commercial. His eyes opened and he’s now staring at me. “Can I touch you too?”

I nod because if I reject, it’ll be unfair for him. He reaches for my hair and tucks a lock but his eyes remained on mine. “You know, your hair got longer ever since I last saw you.”

I smile. “Yeah, but I got it trimmed once in a while.”

His fingers fall to my eye lashes and I close my eyes feeling his fingers touch me slowly. I feel it go from my eyes to my cheeks then to my lips. I opens my eyes when it did and stare. “So Ah, I want to tell you something but I’m afraid that if I do, it’ll hurt you so bad. Because if I don’t tell you, I don’t think I can put my lips on yours with the thought of it.”

I close my fist to a grip because I already know what he’s going to say. I want to end this because now, both of us are keeping something from each other that is keeping us apart. “Tell me.” I whisper.

“I can’t.. I don’t want to hurt you.” He’s putting on that hurt face again and I don’t like it.

“You have to.” I need to hear it from him and him knowing that I’m hearing it. That’s what he needs to right now.

He releases a breath and removes his hand on my neck. “I think I like your sister.”

UPDATE! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter ^^ Again, I would like to thank all of you for reading this fanfic and also! For your undying support haha! I didn’t expect that someone would enjoy reading this story so thank you so so much! ‘Till the next chapter y’all!

- Cheonsabyul <3