Chapter Eleven.

 So Ah. 

We have those times when we care for other people like they’re your family. Ever since I started going to school, I have those people now. Yerin sunbae, Jinyoung sunbae, Kwanghee sunbae, Yeri and of course Minseok sunbae. They’re all people I treasure and have been like family to me so I always want them to be happy and I’m thankful for having them. Minseok sunbae has been the first friend that I made in college and he doesn’t make me feel alone. You can say that I consider him as a best friend already and I don’t want him to be sad or anything because he’s a jolly person. I was really thankful that he was there for me when I felt hurt. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong. He just know I needed someone.

But now, he seems different. Real different. “Hey So Ah?”

“Y..Yes-“ my sight directed to the person behind him. Baekhyun.

“So Ah? What’s wrong-“ I hand him the cupcake and smiled. He turns and saw Baekhyun looking at us.

“I’m going-“ I gasp when he pulls me back hugging me. “S..Sunbae-“

“Let him feel hurt. Just for a while, let him feel what you’re feeling.” My hands are shaking as Baekhyun looks at me. There’s that painful look again and it feels like my heart is being ripped apart. He turns away from us and walks away. I push sunbae away.

“I can’t.. even if I’m hurting I can’t hurt him..” I say. “I love him too much to hurt him..”

“Love huh?” He says. “I’ll go back now So Ah. See you around.”

“Sunbae?” I don’t know what happened but, is it me or does it seems like sunbae’s hurting too?

____________________________________________________

 Minseok. 

I’ve been too focused on my feelings that I forgot how So Ah feels in the first place. She likes Baekhyun and there’s no place for me in her heart. I’m just a friend. Nothing more. Why did I even forget the most important thing?

Practice ended and now I’m going home. Crap. I’m going home. I always go home with So Ah and the others because we don’t bring our rides every Monday. Why today of all days?!

“There he is.” I flinch at Se Ah’s voice. “What took you so long?” I scan the place but So Ah’s nowhere to be found.

“Practice and some scolding. So Ah?”

“Oh, she texted that she’ll go on ahead.”

“Is she alone?”

“Hm? Yeah, she said she needs to do something so-“ I ran pass through her. She must’ve feeling down again because of earlier and she wanted to be alone. That girl really! I grab on my phone as I sprint to the bus stop and called So Ah.

“Hello?..” she cried. I can tell from her voice that she cried.

“Where the hell... are you?!”

“Oh, I’m at the bus stop.”

“When will...the bus arrive?”

“Three minutes from now-“

“Don’t move an inch damn it!” I sprint as I can. If get there within three minutes I will break my record seriously. My fastest was three minutes and six seconds! When I’m near the bus stop I saw So Ah staring at her phone. “There..you are!”

“Sunbae? Are you okay?!”

I catch my breath and hold on to my knees for support. “Why..are you going home alone?”

“I needed to go somewhere on the way so..”

I grab her arm looking at her. “Do you really?”

She looks at me then to the ground then I see tears dropping from her eyes. He hurt her. I don’t know what he did but he hurt her. A lot. I hate this.

“So Ah, how about-“ she takes her hand away from mine and smiled.

“I’m sorry Sunbae but.. I just want to be alone for a while..”

____________________________________________________

 Se Ah.

Walking always calm me down. It shuts down all my thoughts. But now, I don’t feel like it. There’s a lot going inside my head and I- I just don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I can just look at this ceiling the whole time and just wait for something to happen. My phone rings and I debate whether or not to take it. There are pros and cons when I take that damn phone. Pros, I can stop this pathetic thing that I’m doing and continue on with life. Cons, I’m gonna get back and continue with life again. It doesn’t stop ringing so I take the con.

“Hello?”

“Unnie!” It’s Sohyun. It’s not like I don’t want to talk to her. It’s her existence that reminds me of what happened. Back when I was playing So Ah’s role in Baekhyun’s life and the primary reason why I cut my hair in the first place.

“Sohyun, um I-“

“I know unnie! But.. I really don’t have a choice right now. Mom and Dad aren’t answering their phones and Oppa’s.. Please help me I can’t lose my brother!”

I jump out of my bed grabbing my keys. I rush downstairs and I can’t believe I jumped over four steps from the stairs. My hand is shaking as I drive. This is the first time that I’m driving ever since the accident and coincidentally, I’m driving to Baekhyun again. I reach over to their house and pulled over to the side. I enter the passcode and it’s still the same. I freeze seeing at the sight. Baekhyun on the floor, Sohyun holding his head and Mongryeong barking at them.

“What happened? Did you call an ambulance?” I ask getting over them.

Sohyun is crying and she’s a mess. “Yeah... He just collapsed..”

I hold Baekhyun’s cheek and tried to shake him. “Baek, Baek come on wake up!” I exclaim but he’s not budging. I do what Dad always do whenever So Ah’s getting an attack. I check his pulse feeling it and it’s weak. “What the hell did you do?” I utter.

I hear the ambulance from outside and they come in. Sohyun told them that he suddenly collapsed and I accompany them to the ambulance. I stop remembering Mongryeong. “Don’t worry. He’ll be okay.” I take him with me and we enter the ambulance. After a while we reach the hospital and they take him away. I’m in here again. Outside the emergency room only, So Ah’s not in there but Baekhyun.

****

I’m already used to looking people at the hospital bed but I’m not used to looking at Baekhyun at the hospital bed. This is stupid. I’m working on it. I’m working in getting away from him but he’s here, right in front of me getting diagnosed of being anemic. Byun Baekhyun is anemic. Damn now that’s one thing we have in common.

He shifts from the other side and saw me. He gasps sitting up. “Wow, look at you getting all better.” Mongryeong barks and jumps at the bed to him.

“Se Ah? What- Where am I?”

I point at the IV, the hospital bed and held his hospital gown. “Does these ring any bell?” He chuckles. “You’re anemic. Do you what that means? What did you even do? How can you be collapsing and being brought here? How?!” He stares at me and I realized what a fool I look like getting worked up. “Look, you can’t be like that!”

He smiles. “Like what?”

“That! Like that! Collapsing all of a sudden, making your sister cry so bad and him!” I point at Mongryeong. “Making him bark on top of his lungs! You can’t make people and that sweet little dog worry and get scared for you..” I breathe as much air as I could. I think I said too much.

“Sorry for making you worry.” He says looking into me like he’s reading my mind and I flush.

“I didn’t- I am not worried about you.. I just..” he takes my hand and I realize that I’m shaking.

“Did you drive?” I nod. “But you can’t drive.”

“I..I just did okay?” I shut my eyes closed. No tears are going out in front of Byun Baekhyun. No freaking tears. I feel a hand on my neck and I’m being pulled. I’m still not opening my eyes because the moment I do, I’ll be lost. My body will take over and my brain would just lose over my body. I can smell him. I can smell Baekhyun’s scent and I miss that. I miss him so bad. I’m gripping my hands right now because I can’t touch him.

“You did well Se Ah. I know it’s hard but thank you.” You’re not opening your eyes Se Ah. We will not lose. “Se Ah, look at me.”

We can’t lose Se Ah.. we can’t. I feel a hand against my cheek. A tear escaped my eyes and damn it. That would be the last one that’ll escape my damn eyes. I swear. I just swear.

“Se Ah.”

“Stop! Stop calling my name.. god just please stop calling my name or I’ll lose it!”

“Just open your eyes okay?”

Light goes through my eyes and then Baekhyun. He’s staring at me. Black haired Byun Baekhyun. This is just too much. I want to touch him.

“Thank you.” He says smiling. “Are you okay?”

“I just drove when I can’t. A person who’s been in an accident drove Byun Baekhyun. Are you seriously asking me if I’m okay?”

He laughs holding my hand. “I know. But I still want you to be okay.”

This is bad. I have to get out of here. I’m losing it. “Let go of me.”

“Se Ah.”

“Please let go. You know this is wrong. So Ah, she likes you a lot and you’re doing this to me? And Chanyeol-“ I freeze. Chanyeol. I can’t do this to him. I-

“Are you both together now?”

“W..What?”

“Are you dating him?”

“He likes me.” I reply.

“Do you?” I should say yes. I should say it straight to his face. A big capital YES. But I can’t say a single word.

“So Ah likes you. A lot. And you like her. Get it straight to your brain Baekhyun.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” He gives me a painful smile. I turn grabbing my bag and leave the room. I search for my phone and my hand is still shaking.

I wait for it to ring as I sit on the floor. “Hello?”

“I’m so sorry.. I’m sorry I.. I can’t..”

“Se Ah, calm down okay? Tell me where you are.”

“I’m at the hospital.. Chanyeol I need you.. I..” I’m crying so hard now I just need him to be here. I need him so bad.

“Alright. Wait for me there okay- wait did you drive? The keys aren’t- Wait for me.” He hangs up and I hug my knees. I can’t take this anymore. There’s too much inside of me and crying hard won’t help anymore.

“Chanyeol... hurry up...” I mumble as I sob. People passing are looking at me and I couldn’t care less. I just want to be out of here right now.

“Really? Crying in front of other people? That’s not like you.” I look up and see him. I stand and hugged him. Chanyeol is here. “Let’s go home?”

“For a while. Just.. just let me stay like this for a while.”

____________________________________________________

 Minseok. 

“Have you finally calmed down?”

“Mm..”

I turn to the side and stare at So Ah as she stare at the popsicle stick and plays with it. I really am shocked to see her eat popsicle in this kind of weather.

“What would you do..”

“Hm?”

“What would you do if two of the most important people you have in the world turns out to like each other?” She looks at me. “What would you do if it was you Sunbae?”

I sigh. I can’t believe I’m actually having this conversation with the girl that I like. This is just so unfair. He likes another guy but that guy doesn’t even know if he likes her or not. And here I am a guy who likes her whom she doesn’t even know that I have a crush on her. I only know a “love triangle” but in our case this isn’t even a square. I like So Ah and she likes Baekhyun. That guy might like her back or her sister then again, Chanyeol might like Se Ah back so damn it. I call this a love pretzel.

“So Ah, how much do you like him?” I also can’t believe I’m helping the girl I like to realize how much she likes Baekhyun. This is just digging my own grave.

“I don’t know.. I just.. like him.” She sighs and faces me. “Do you have that kind of person too? Somebody that you like.”

Oh no. I am not having this kind of conversation with her. No, just no.

“Yeah.” Seriously? Kim Minseok?

She brightens up. Yep, I definitely changed her mood with saying that I’m interested in someone who is actually her and yes I am playing this pathetic game that I don’t even know can happen. This is only for dramas and books and mangas! Not in real life and I am praying I am not going to be that guy who’ll give her up just for her happiness. I pray that I will be the guy who’ll end up making her happy.

“Really? Who is it? Do I know her?”

“Uh, I think so?” What a cliché answer.

“Who is she? Can I know?”

I sigh. I want to lie there in front of me and wait for a car to pass through me so I can have an excuse out of this but no. There’s no escaping this right? She’s still looking at me with much expectation and she’s turning like that again. You know that sight when the girl you like just stares at you and the next minute she’s all flowers and brightens at your sight? Because that’s So Ah in front of me right now.

“Yeah. Should I tell you what she’s like?”

Hello! Here's an update for all of you! ^^ So Minseok's getting into the picture bit by bit... Another one of my bias in EXO... it's so hard to write you guys... He's just so... I feel like I have to choose between Baek and Xiumin too. HAHAHAHAHHUHUHU DAMN... BUT! I hope y'all would continue reading and will like the ending (though I'm still working on it) see yah all next chapter!!

- Cheonsabyul <3