Chapter Ten.

 Baekhyun. 

I finally told her. I stare at her waiting for her eyes to widen and hit me back saying that I’m a worthless bastard for making her hope but she doesn’t. She leans back looking up at the red sky with both of her hands behind her holding her for support.

“I know.”

I blink. She knows? “You knew?”

She nods. “Yeah, I have something to tell you too.” She shifts her position crossing her legs facing me. “Back at the school festival? That was me. I accidentally heard you confess everything. What’s bothering you.”

“Is that why you seem out of it these past few weeks?” She smiles nodding. I let out a rush of air not knowing what to do. “You knew all along.. I’m so sorry..”

She shakes her head holding my cheeks. She’s smiling right now but I know she’s feeling the pain. “Don’t be. It’s my sister right? You like her?”

“No!” I deny but I really don’t actually know. “I mean, I don’t know.. I thought she was you but then she’s not. I was really happy when I thought I was destined to meet you again so Se Ah was there. She was you.. my heart reacted for her but that’s when I thought she was you!”

“And now?” I face her not knowing what to say. But I have to tell her the truth or she’ll continue to be in pain.

“It still does whenever I see her.”

She looks at the ocean. “I see.”

“I’m still not sure what this is. I’m trying to figure out So Ah. You still have that intense effect in me believe me. I’m just-“

“Confused.” She says. “I know. Are you asking me to wait for you?”

“No.. You don’t deserve that So Ah.”

Tears are slowly forming in her eyes and I know it’s because of me. “Then, are... are we just.. going to end this?”

“No.” I reply.

“Then please... please tell me what to do.. I don’t.. I don’t know what I’ll do.. I still like you and it’s so hard to restrain my feelings.. But then, now you like another person and my sister on top of that? I don’t know what to do...” she’s sobbing hard then she held on my shirt looking up to me. “Just please... please tell me to wait and I will.. please? Please Baekhyun?”

As painful as this sting gets, I can’t tell her to wait when what I might feel is the other way around. And if it is, then she’ll hurt again. It’s better if I get hurt alone. I can’t afford for her to go through it again, she’s been through a lot.

“I can’t.. I’m so sorry..”

____________________________________________________

 So Ah. 

The bus stops in front of me and I let it pass. That’s the third one since I got here. I should be walking back home now but I’m not in the will to do it. He likes my sister and I can’t blame anyone for it. It’s all an accident. I just need someone to blame right now.

Ah. I know.

I should blame myself for letting Baekhyun wait. I asked him to wait which is why he slipped through my fingers. That’s why.

“WATCH OUT!” I gasped when I felt someone grab me.

“Sunbae.”

“So Ah! Are you okay?!” Unnie and Chanyeol are running from across the street. Was I almost hit by a truck?

“I KNOW YOU’RE NOT IN A RIGHT SHAPE BUT KILLING YOURSELF? DAMN IT SO AH! THAT’S STUPID!” Sunbae exclaimed and I stare at him. He’s definitely mad at me. A person can make this kind of face? I wonder how it feels making this kind of face.

____________________________________________________

 Minseok. 

I chase after my breath after yelling at So Ah because that’s definitely a stupid thing to do. I expect her to apologize but she’s staring at me and then she reaches for my face touching it.

“S..So Ah?!”

“You’re mad at me.” She whispers and I don’t get where she’s going with this. “I wish he could’ve been mad at me for letting him go and not tell me not to wait..” I gasp when she’s now crying and I know Baekhyun’s behind this. She’s now crying hard and I’m watching her do it.

“So Ah! Are you okay? Did it hurt? Tell me please!” Se Ah approached her but So Ah’s not talking. I grab So Ah’s hand and carried her as she cries. She just wants out of here and I get that. “Sunbae! Where are you taking my sister?!”

“Home. Where else?” I reply and carry So Ah back home. She holds on to me as I do.

“I’m so sorry..” she mumbles and I chuckle.

“So Ah, you’re lighter than a sack.”

She buries her head on my neck as she cry. “Can.. Can I not go home today?”

I stop on my tracks waiting for her to continue her sentence but she’s not. “Where’d you want to go?”

She shrugs. “Anywhere but home..”

I wanted to find her somewhere else to stay but I have no other choice than my place so I guess that’ll do. I turn back and Se Ah who’s with Chanyeol stopped and looked at us.

“Sorry but she doesn’t want to go home today.” I say and Se Ah’s mouth dropped.

“W..What? So Ah, what is he-“ Chanyeol held her back and shakes his head. He looks at me giving me the killer look.

“Hey,” he says walking closer to me. “I know that you’re older than us and that you’re So Ah’s friend. But get this. If you do anything to her, all the respect that I have for you left will be all gone and I’ll kill you with my two hands and maybe I might use my feet too. I’m only letting you do this because So Ah has no one other than you get it?”

I chuckle. “You’re one hell of a protective friend Park Chanyeol.” I nod and he steps on the side letting us through. I walk back to where my car was parked and let So Ah in. And when we’re planning to watch a movie for the weekend at So Ah’s place. Guess that’s cancelled for a while.

The drive back to my place was so silent and So Ah just stared at the window the whole time. When we arrived, she doesn’t budge. “So Ah, where’s here.” I say. She sits up and opens the door. It’s a first that I saw her like this. But when she gets out of my car, she just stood and looked at the ground. I walk over to the other side and grab her hand.

“Let’s go?” She nods and I guide her. I pressed up on the elevator and waited. So Ah’s still not talking and I’m starting to get worried for her. We reached my apartment and I open the door for her. “Are you hungry? I only have ramen though.”

She’s still not answering and just staring at me. I walk back to her and stood in front of her. “You can just cry So Ah.”

“I can’t. Even if I want to I can’t.” She replied hoarsely. I sigh.

“I would ask you for a drink but I probably think Chanyeol would kill me if I do. So just sit down and I’ll get you something.” I was about to go to the kitchen when she grabs my sleeve stopping me.

“Don’t leave.. I.. I don’t want to be alone right now..” I smile patting her head. Ever since I met So Ah, she’s been like a sister to me. She reminds me of my sister who’s now in heaven which is why I had the urge to protect her. I take a step close to her and hugged her.

“I won’t. I’m right here.”

****

So Ah took a shower while I told her I’ll cook us ramen. So I did. I placed the pot on the counter and two bowls for us to eat in and waited. “That should do it.” I say. The door from the bathroom opens and I freeze. I know I gave her my clothes to change into for a while but I think something’s wrong with me. I mentally slap myself. That is not what how you think about a little sister Minseok!

“Your clothes are a little bit big to me Sunbae.” She chuckles and I think my heart just...skipped a beat? But why? Is it because she’s like a cute sister to me? That must be it right? I mean Haesoo made me feel like that back then especially when she’s in pigtails.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Hm? What’s wrong? Are you sick? You’re quite red.” I think I just forgot how to breathe when her hand touches my forehead. “Sunbae! Are you? You’re a little hot too.”

I gasp stepping back with my arm covering my face. I’m not feeling what I think I am feeling right? I’m not-

“Sunbae-“

“So Ah!” She slipped and I grab her but then I slipped too. “Ouch..” I open my eyes and I realized I’m on top of her. My heart’s beating nonstop right now and it doesn’t stop.

“Sunbae! Are you okay?”

“I..I don’t think I am.” I utter. Now my body is moving on it’s own. I hold her cheek as I stare at her.

“S..Sunbae? What’s wrong?” I gasp realizing what I’m doing and got off her. THAT WAS CLOSE. I ALMOST DUG MY OWN GRAVE.

****

“Ah, Sunbae!” I gasp. So Ah’s coming closer and my heart’s beating fast again. This.. This is bad! “Sunbae?”

“Sorry! I got something to do! See you later!”

I turn and ran away. I’ve been running away from her twice today and it’s insane. She must’ve thought I’m crazy. I stop chasing my breath. Being weird is really tiring.

“Sunbae? What’s wrong?” I look up seeing Chanyeol in front of me. I need some help. I grab him to the side holding his shoulders. “This is weird. Please tell me you’re not confessing to me because in this position-“

“Shut up. I won’t okay?!”

He chuckles and sat at the bench. “So? What’s up?”

I sigh sitting next to him. I open my water bottle and chugged half of it. “I’m being weird.”

“You always are. Did it only occur to you now?”

I glare at him. Seriously this guy deserves a beating. “Listen okay? I’m being weird since yesterday. My chest, it’s going crazy ever since So Ah stayed at my house.”

“You did not do anything to her did you?”

“Hell no!” Chanyeol chuckles leaning at the bench as he stare at me. I don’t like his stare and especially what he’s thinking right now. Everything seems weird.

“Do you perhaps, like So Ah?”

I nod. “Yeah, she’s a sister to me.”

“No, no, no. Not like that. As a girl, romantically.”

I stop for a moment. My brain usually process things quickly. Words go through my ears then I understand, sometimes it goes pass my heart when I’m really touched. But why is it that what this guy just told me right now went directly to my heart? STRAIGHT THROUGH MY HEART.

“H..Huh?”

“Does your heart feel like it’s going to explode whenever you see her?” Now that he mentions that, ever since that day it feel like it will so I nod. “Does it feel like you don’t want her to be hurt? Like you always just want her to smile and you want to protect her?” I stand in shock.

“What the hell? Are you reading my mind right now?”

He stands laughing. “You like So Ah, or maybe, you even love her. The rest will be yours Sunbae. Think about how your truly feel about her. See yah!” He stands and I’m frozen with what I learned just now. “Oh right, maybe some confirmation will help.”

“Confirmation? What confirmation?” He just waved at me and smiled. What kind of confirmation?!

****

“Kim Minseok! Aren’t you gonna do things properly?!”

“I’m so sorry coach!” He sighs as he rubs his temples.

“Go and have a break! Don’t go back here until you’re ready to play properly!”

“Yes sir!”

I ran outside the basketball court then to the sink. I splashed water on my face to wake myself up because I really have to pull myself back together. The nationals are coming up and I don’t have time to fool around right now.

“Sunbae!” I turn hearing my name and seeing So Ah in front if me right now doesn’t help a bit.

“So Ah.”

“Are you on break right now?”

“I got kicked out.”

“Did something happen?!”

Yeah, you happened. “It’s nothing. So? Why are you out?”

“Ah right,” she goes through her backpack taking something out of it then hands it to me. “It seems like you’ve been busy the whole day and our org is making cupcakes for the fundraiser. We made quite many so I took some for you and also as thanks for letting me stay at your place last weekend.”

Her smile. Her smile is making my whole body fragile.

“So I thought that you might want it since you like cupcakes.”

Confirmation, I have to know right now.

“Sunbae? Is something wrong? Are you oka-“ I lean on her as I feel my chest pounding so hard right now. Ah, I really do like her. “S..Sunbae?!”

“I thought wrong huh?”

UPDATE! Thank you for all of the support like REALLY! I honestly didn’t expect that people would actually like this (and this is the NTH time I’m saying this) I personally think it’s not that good actually but thank you for making me feel like writing is really my escape in this sh*tty life sometimes SO THANK YOU!! Till the next chapter y’all! 

- cheonsabyul <3