Chapter Seven.

 So Ah. 

“B..Baekhyun.”

“You know each other?” Yerin sunbae asked as she looked at us.

“She’s one of the applicants?” Baekhyun asked walking to his seat.

“Yeah. I placed the application forms on your table didn’t I?” Baekhyun scans the papers on his desk and I think he’s finding mine. When he sees my application, he sighs and puts the paper down. Does he hate being with me that much?

“Oh, I have to give this to the student council. The other three will arrive a little late so just instruct So Ah what to do okay? Bye!”

The door shuts and silence eats us up. Baekhyun looks at me and we both stare at each other awkwardly. “Sorry, I didn’t know you’re here. If you’d like, I will just withdraw my application.”

“Why?”

“Why? You don’t like me being here right?”

“No So Ah. It’s not like that so please don’t put it that way.” He releases a breath and looks at me. “I- Things are just complicated for me right now and it’s not because of you. The last thing I wanted to happen is for you blaming yourself.”

“Then why? Why is it that it feels like you don’t want to see me? That you don’t even want to breathe in the same air as I do.”

“So Ah no! It was never like that. Believe me. I’m happy to see you. I’m so glad that you’re okay, that you’re alive. But I just..” he sighs shaking his head and I don’t know what to do. So I just smiled patting him on the head.

“I won’t ask. It’s fine then. I thought you wouldn’t like to see me again.”

“So Ah.” I can tell that there’s pain in his eyes and as much as I wanted to know what it is that’s making it hard for him, I’ll keep this feeling for myself and just be there for him.

“Now won’t you tell me what I have to do to help?”

He smiles and nodded. He instructed me to list the things that are needed to be bought so I told him I can handle it and just do what it is that he needed to do. I headed to the shop to buy the things I listed earlier and saw Minseok sunbae.

“Sunbae!”

“Oh! You’re here So Ah?”

I smiled walking towards him. “I have things to buy for the organization.”

“Hm.. that’s a long list.” I chuckle nodding. “I can help you bringing them back. We’re on break now and practice resumes at four.”

“That would be great!”

We head back to the club room and saw Baekhyun working so hard. I smiled at the sight. I’ve never seen this side of him before. Come to think of it, I haven’t get to know him back then.

“You’re working too hard Baek!” Sunbae goes in and Baekhyun chuckled. “Would this be okay here?”

I nod and entered after him. “Yes, thank you.”

He smiled patting me on the head. “I’ll see you tomorrow then!”

I nod and watch him leave. “You should’ve told me to go with you if you have a lot to bring.”

“Not really. Sunbae insisted so..”

“Are you both that close?” He asks taking out the things that I bought.

“He’s the first friend that I made here and he’s really nice.” I turn to his desk and saw that he had a lot to do. “Do you need help?”

“I can do it myself.” He says and returns to his seat. I wonder what’s with him all of a sudden.

____________________________________________________

 Se Ah. 

I sat at the bench while waiting for So Ah to go out and opened my ice cream. If Chanyeol sees this he’ll be furious because I’m eating ice cream when the temperature’s cold. I chuckled at the thought.

Looking at my watch it’s already four and So Ah won’t be here until five so I guess I have an hour left for myself.

“You’re really hopeless.” I freeze at the voice and saw Chanyeol. “Don’t you freeze whenever you eat that?”

I chuckle. Just when I’m thinking this would happen, it did. “Wow, this is just amazing.”

“What is?”

“I just thought that you’ll be furious when you see me eating this. And here you are.”

“I’m just worried.”

“Hm..” I hum and lean on the bench as I cross my legs waiting. I stop seeing a familiar person from afar and So Ah’s behind him.

“Se Ah.” I continue eating my ice cream but I think I’ll choke myself if I keep this up. He’s looking at me from afar and I can’t even avoid his look. I have to stop looking at Baekhyun or this will not end.

“Chan, make it stop. I can’t continue on like this.”

“I can make it stop but are you willing to do anything?” I look at Chanyeol confused.

“What will you do?”

“I’m asking you Se Ah. I won’t do anything unless you tell me to.” I don’t care anymore what it is that Chanyeol wanted to do. I just want this to stop.

“Do it.” I reply. Chanyeol pulled me close to him and my lips felt numb all of a sudden. My eyes widen in surprise as he kiss me. I know he’s doing this because of Baekhyun I think this is for the best. I felt bad as my ice cream slip through my fingers but Chanyeol grabs my hand holding it placing it on his neck.

He lets go of me and when I open my eyes Baekhyun’s gone. Now I am feeling the sting in my heart. I know that Baekhyun might’ve been hurt by that but I have no choice. So Ah likes him so much and I can’t exchange my sister for my heart.

“I’m sorry..” I utter.

“Why would you be?” Chanyeol whispers.

“I just used you. I’m so sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. It’s not a hundred percent fake kiss.” He stands taking his bag with him and I think I’m frozen again not because of the weather but because of his words. He leans close smiling. “Yeah, I like you.”

I’m hoping he would not say that but he did. I’m just the worst.

____________________________________________________

 So Ah. 

“Baekhyun?” He’s not responding to me ever since he grabbed me with him on the hallway earlier. We’ve been running for quite a while now. “Baekhyun! Wait a minute!” I exclaimed and he gasps stopping.

I stop and catch for my breath. That is the first time that I ran that far and fast ever since I got better. I always do firsts with Baekhyun coincidentally huh?

“Oh sorry.” I look at him and he gives me that troubled look again.

“Baekhyun? Are you-“ I stop when I saw that blank face of him. It’s a first that I saw him like this. “What’s the matter?”

He sits on the ground brushing his hands on his hair roughly. “Damn it.” He utters.

“Baekhyun? Stop that or you’ll hurt yourself-“ I gasp seeing tears on his eyes. I hold his close to me as he cries and pats his back.

“So Ah... I’m so sorry..”

“It’s okay.”

“No..” His voice is even more shaky now and I’m feeling bad for him. Even if I wanted to know why he’s being like this, I want him to be the one to tell me what’s wrong. “I don’t deserve this.. So Ah..”

“It’s okay. You’ll be fine.”

“I’m so sorry...” he kept on apologizing but he hugs me afterwards burying his face on my hair. The pain that Baekhyun feels, I’ll share it with him.

****

The week for the college fair is coming up and I realized I just threw myself in a difficult situation. There’s the book sale and exchange for the Literature Organization and the Counseling activity that we’re going to have as Psychology majors. But I’m glad that I was able to work out my schedule for the shifting so there wouldn’t be any conflict.

“So Ah!” I turn seeing Minseok Sunbae approaching.

“Oh, sunbae. You’re in your uniform? Will there be a game?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. After lunch. Will you come and watch?”

“I’m not sure. I have the counseling shift at the afternoon. But what time will it be?”

“At three-thirty.”

“Ah! That works then sunbae! My shift ends at three-fifteen!”

He chuckles. “Then you’re destined to watch me then!”

I smile. “Mm. I’ll cheer for you.”

He laughs nodding. “I’ll see you later then!”

“Mm!”

I return to the Counseling room for my shift together with Yeri. I’m actually excited about this because I get a chance to help people vent out their frustrations or problems and it’s nice that they won’t be able to know who we are nor we get to know who they are. It’s like both sides are anonymous.

“So Ah!” I wave at Yeri when she sees me and approached her. “Are you ready for our shift?”

“Mm! I’m actually excited about this.”

She chuckles. “Me too! I hope we get to help other people through this!”

“I hope too!”

“Yeri and So Ah! Time to get to your spots!” The org. secretary Joonyoung sunbae exclaimed and we both headed to our places. My first client ended smoothly and she even asked for advice on how she can balance her studies with her studies because she’s a scholar. I told her my advice and she was really happy about it. Helping other people is really nice once in a while even though you’re both strangers.

“Get in there!”

“I told you I don’t need it!” I hear familiar voice at the opposite of the booth and I think it’s Yerin sunbae and- “Oh come on Baek! You’re spacing a lot this days! Just talk it out!”

“Wait! Yerin-“ I hear the door shut at the other side. “Damn it..” I hear Baekhyun sigh. I start to tense up. He doesn’t know that I’ll be the one listening. I don’t think this is right. Maybe I should switch with Yeri. I grab my phone and sent her a text then waited for her reply. I jump a little when I felt my phone vibrate.

Sorry! I got a very problematic one! Just don’t talk and listen! I’m sure he won’t notice. I’ll be there when I finish okay?

I would like to bang my head but that would destroy this booth and Baekhyun would know that it’s me on the other side so I’ll just stay and keep my mouth shut until Yeri arrives.

“I.. I uh.. I’m not going to ask for an advice. I’ll just talk it all out and release what’s bothering me. That’s what this all about right?”

“Uh.. mm..”

Baekhyun sighs and I think he’s being forced to this. “I uh.. You see I’m so hopeless right now. Something happened years ago. I have this girl that I fell in love with. I still love her up to now but I think I'm confused.” I freeze up. I want to continue listening because this is what I wanted to know for a while now but this is so wrong. I can’t listen to this!

“It was two years back then, I left this county to go to another to finish my studies. I was hoping to stay and finish college there but something happened so I came back. I had mixed feelings when I got back. I was hoping to meet her again. You see, she’s sick. She is in need of a donor to be able to live and she didn’t want me back then. She’s worried about the ‘what if’s’ if I’m with her and she didn’t want to hurt me. So we both made an agreement and let fate handle the rest. And I did,”

My heart is beating fast and my hand is shaking at the same time. I don’t know what I am even feeling right now.

“When I got back, I witnessed an accident and I helped that person. I thought it was her for a while. I was very happy when I took that person in. I still loved her but I realized it’s not her. That’s not the girl that I’m in love with. It’s her twin. I’ve been with her for almost a month thinking she was the girl that I love. I’m confused after she left. I don’t know what I’ve felt that time. Is it her or is it because she looked just like the girl that I like? That I even love? Up to know I am carrying this sh*tty feeling. I’m seeing the person that I wanted every day. I wanted to hold her close and tell her that I missed her. That I always longed for fate to give her back to me. That I love her like crazy. But I don’t know now. I’m so confused. Whenever I see her twin, I get so confused.”

I want out of here right now. I don’t think I can hear more of this. It’s so hard to hold my tears and not making any noise. When the door in front of me opened, I sprint away from the booth and got away as far as I can. I can’t be there. It’s just too much. When I reached the backyard. I cried my heart out. Baekhyun likes my sister and he’s confused because of what happened. Why didn’t I think of that? They’ve been together for a while. Of course he may not have thought of Se Ah. He always wanted to see me and Se Ah’s sick back then. I wanted to blame somebody but I can’t. They’re both innocent about this. Who will I blame?

“Uh.. Stop.. crying... So.. Ah..” I’m sobbing continuously and it’s so hard to breathe right now. I feel like there’s no more air for me to breathe anymore.

I hug my knees and continued to cry. I felt sleepy when I stopped crying and stood up. I want to go home..

“So Ah? There you are!”

“Sunbae..”

“You didn’t- Are you okay?”

I’m seeing sunbae in front of me as he walks close. But my eyes are getting heavy. I just want to sleep..

UPDATE! I forgot to mention in the last chapter that I got a new cover for this fic ahahah! I don’t know if Irene and Seulgi looked like twins to you all but they do to me which is why I made this fic inspired by them hahah! Don’t you just love them? Anyways, I said too much HAHAHA! I get lost whenever I fangirl about them T.T” (Please bear with me HAHAHAH!) But! I hope y’all love this chapter and more to come!

-Cheonsabyul <3