Chapter One.

 So Ah. 

Have you all ever felt why you are placed in the situation you’re in? Why are we playing the roles we are playing now? Why am I myself? How did I end up being me?

Me?

I always ask that to myself. Why am I placed in the situation I am in right now? Close to dying every day. Living each second with  fear like it can be my last. Why am I playing the role of an obedient daughter when I wonder how it is like if I am the black sheep of the family? How did I ended up being me?

I’m actually a frail girl with an almost perfect family. Let me explain that in detail. I’m a frail one because I actually have a frail body, specifically my heart. I call this series of the unfortunate twins. Yes, I have a sister named Se Ah. We are identical twins by the way if you’re wondering what kind of twins we are. Why did I term it that way? I may have been experiencing a series of unfortunate events as I grow up. Yes, I’ve seen that movie and that’s how I came up with it.

This is the reason why I’ve been full of questions every day because all of the catastrophic things that can happen in a person, happens to me. I term Se Ah as a lucky person while I’m the opposite. We’re like a pair. Synonyms to Antonyms, Black to White, Lucky to the Unlucky.

My sister was born healthy. No defects. I’m born unhealthy, with defects. My heart is frail and I’ve been waiting for a donor ever since I was six. Now I’m asking another question to myself. I wonder if I have thought of those questions even before I thought of it first? Because we are taught that some there are some things we just can’t remember back when we were little right?

Oh, but don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate my sister. In fact, I love her with all my weak heart. She’s the only one who understands my position and who cares for me the most.

“Se Ah, I’ll be going out now. Look after your sister for me again okay?”

“Will do Dad. Will you be back this month?”

“I will don’t worry.”

“That’s great. Have you said your goodbyes to So Ah already?”

“I’m about to but when I got there she’s asleep.”

“I see.”

“Then I’ll see you soon.”

I hear the door close and I open my eyes. I played the sleeping (not beauty because I think Se Ah’s the beauty when sleeping) role when Dad came in earlier. I hate saying goodbye to him because that just mean I’ll make myself miss him even more which will make me emotional which can lead to me possibly having an attack which can later on cause my death and that is not yet what I want. I have a lot of things I want to do before I die. You see, dying is really easy as pie for a person like me I can almost term it as suicide.

I hear my door open and saw Se Ah coming in. “Coast is clear. Let’s go?”

“I don’t think I can do this Se Ah.”

“Why? Are you feeling weak?”

“Guilty is what I feel.”

She chuckles and removes the covers from me. “That’s what you should not feel right now. You’re a person who gets to go out only once in a blue moon and that’s only on your damn birthday and nothing else. You don’t even get to go for Christmas. This is the chance that we can take now So Ah. And besides, I have my trump card.”

I look at her in disbelief. Se Ah’s trump cards are everything. Those always make her win. “I hear there are a lot of books there.”

I bit my lip still debating if I should go out because my superego is giving me a lot of reasons why not. I sigh giving up. I do want to see the outside today.

“Alright.”

“Then we’re set! I’ll get you some clothes to wear and you go and take a bath.”

I nod and opened the shower. I stretch out my arms just to see if the water’s fine for me and stepped in it as I clean myself. Afterwards, I step back at the room and saw a beige top and a dark brown skirt laid on my bed.

“I’m wearing that?” I ask.

Se Ah comes back to my room with a blower on her hand. “Yeah.”

“But those are yours.”

“I know. If someone sees you, act like me and it’ll be alright. Now get in your undies so I can do your hair.”

“Why would you do my hair? I can just have as it is.”

She groans and rolled her eyes at me. As I have said my sister and I are complete opposites and this situation is one of them. My sister is elegantly stylish and I’m... I guess you can just term it as plain, go with the flow dresser. I dress as to what I can grab from my closet. As long as I’m comfy with what I’ve taken, I’m good to go.

“Alright, I get it.”

While I wear my underwear, Se Ah started drying my hair with a towel. I don’t get why she is in a hurry when we have a day to spend now that Dad’s away. Mom rarely goes home because of our grandfather in the province. I get into the clothes she prepared for me and she does what she wants with my hair. She mildly curls the down part of my hair and I look like I’m attending a party when we’re just going to the bookstore to buy some books.

“I don’t think there’s a necessity for my hair to be this grand?”

“Come on So Ah. You let me do what I want up to now and look at you whining.”

I sigh. “Fine.”

“Great!” She giggles and runs to her room. I hear rustles and clatters then she comes back to my room. Oh, she just got herself a bag. “Let’s go?”

I sigh for the second time. I’m already tired but half excited right now. I grab my phone and placed it on my sling bag and followed her outside. She takes the car in front of the house and I enter.

“Okay Ms. So Ah, today you will be my VIP and rest assured that today will be you BDE.”

“B what?”

“Oh my goodness. BEST DAY EVER.”

“Why do you have to convert every word you say to an acronym?”

“Those acronyms are the words So Ah. They’re the same.”

“I really don’t get the logic.”

She turns the music on and for the first time, something I can relax on. It’s my favorite genre, ballad and I’m starting to feel like this will really be my BDE.

We arrived at the bookstore and Se Ah told me to go ahead because she will be parking the car.

I head over to the bookstore with much excitement that I have in every cell that I have in my body and headed to my favorite section. I glanced over the books and chuckled. There are a lot. I don’t even know where to start scanning. Se Ah always buy me books that I think will be fun to read whenever I search online but I never thought shopping for books would feel this good.

“Let’s see.” I started scanning the first row from the left straight to the right.

“I think you should start with this one.” I turn and saw the guy beside me handing me a book with a smile on his face.

“Have you read it?”

“Yeah. It’s nice. My sister recommended it to me. I started reading that author’s books ever since. Oh and I don’t read.”

I smile. “You won’t be reading unless you found the book that’s perfect for you.”

“Yeah. And I think I would be reading often now.” I look at him taking the book from him and read the back. “Do you often go here?”

“Not really. Once in a while I think.”

“But you buy books?”

“My sister buys them for me.”

He chuckles. “You ask your sister to buy you books?”

“Yeah. I’m not a normal person.” I reply as I started scanning the shelves after reading the plot of the book. I find it interesting so I decided that I’m gonna take this one home. I stop, realizing what I’m doing. I just talked to someone other than Se Ah, my Dad and my Mom. To top all of that he’s a stranger.

“What?” He noticed that I’m staring at him as I’m processing my thoughts.

“Nothing. I just realized that I just talked to a stranger and you’re the first one I’ve talked to since I went out of my room this morning.”

He chuckles. “That’s a lot of thought. But I’m honored to be the first one to have talked to you?”

That seem to be a question but I don’t get why he is turning it to one. I eye him in confusion and he laughs realizing what just happened.

“Name. That’s the point where you should be saying your name. I’m guessing you don’t interact often?”

“So Ah. And no, I don’t have that much opportunity to do so?”

He laughs realizing what I just did. “Baekhyun.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too So Ah.” He takes my hand and shake it. “Can I be honest?”

“Sure.”

“I’m interested in you So Ah.”

I blink. I’m so lost. He’s interested in me? Why? I just talked to him. I tilt my head confused. “Can I be honest?”

He laughs again and leans on the shelf with his arms crossed as he looks at me. “I actually don’t get what you said just now. You told me you’re interested when we just talked for a while. Can I ask what specifically it is that made you become interested in me?” He laughs hard on that one. “That’s so rude.”

“Sorry! I just find you even more interesting now. Sorry! Give me a minute to recollect myself.” I look at him giving his minute. “I want to know about you more. Now do you understand what I’m saying? I guess you understood that because you read books.”

“What do you want to know about me? And why?”

“I’m getting more and more hooked by you So Ah.”

I don’t think his reply answered my question. My phone rings and it’s Se Ah. I look at Baekhyun and he nods gesturing for me to take the call.

“Yes?”

“So Ah. Retreat. Mom just texted me she’s going back to cook us lunch. This is so ty. I’m giving you another day of your freedom so just rush to the exit but oh my goodness not too fast. Just as fast as you can.”

“But I haven’t bought anything yet.”

“I’m going to find another day for you so please just hurry up or our chances will be eaten! I’m out here already.”

“Alright. I’ll be there.”

I sigh putting the book back on the shelf. Baekhyun stands straight and looks at me. “Aren’t you gonna buy it?”

“Can’t, I have to go.”

“Wait, already?”

“Yeah. Nice talking to you. Bye!”

I walk to the exit and walked fast but not fast enough to kill myself. I saw Se Ah on the exit door biting her thumb. She’s damn nervous.

“You’re here! Does anything hurt?! You didn’t run did you?”

“I’m not even huffing.”

“Let’s go!”

We both entered the car and she started driving. Se Ah’s phone buzzed and I reached out. “She’s blocked by the traffic.” I say.

She sighs. “That’s good. It’s going to buy us time. Hold on tight.”

She speeds up and before I know it, we’re home. “For the record, I think that’s the fastest drive I’ve experienced in my twenty years of existence.”

“Well thank you dear sister.” She grins and we got of the car.

I walk back to my room and changed to my comfy clothes and Se Ah runs to her room exchanging to hers. She goes back to my room and jumped on my bed as I grab a book that I decided to read today.

“Sorry about that.” She says munching on her chips. Where did she even get those? Mom doesn’t allow us to buy chips. “I promise I’ll treat you to more book shopping spree as soon as Mom is as good as gone for a while.”

I chuckle. “It’s okay. I got the initial experience of what it feels to be shopping for books. There’s always next time.”

She smiles and hugs me. “That’s why I love you so much!”

I giggled and hugged her back. We hear the door open so Se Ah walks downstairs to welcome her. I get in the covers and turn to the other side as I stare at my lamp. “Mom!” I hear them converse.

“Se Ah! I’m sorry for the traffic. Where’s your sister?” I groan and walk downstairs. I hate it when she asks about me because the moment she knows that I’m locking myself up in my room again, she’s gonna scream out my name until I come out. I hate that.

“Lunch will be served in a while so just sit back and wait okay? So Ah, have you taken your meds?”

I nod eyeing the goods that she has with her. “Isn’t that a lot for the three of us? Dad left already.”

“Oh, I forgot to mention. From today, my friend’s son will be staying with us for a while. I already asked your father and he met him already. He said he’ll be here in half an hour. He just stopped by the mall.”

“Oh.”

“So that’s what causing you to cause a clatter in the guest room yesterday.” Se Ah replied from the living room as she continues to munch on her chips. I widen my eyes. She’s so dead if mom sees those. I mouthed ‘keep that away!’ And she read my lips gasping taking the small empty vase that I washed earlier for the flowers that I’ll be supposed to be buying earlier, and placed the chips inside. I mouthed ‘what the hell?’ And she chuckles. “So, how’s grandpa?”

“Oh he’s fine. I’ll take him with me next month. He can walk know. I’m so glad that the therapy is turning out just fine.”

I shake my head. Se Ah’s always so good at changing the subject which makes Mom go with the flow unconsciously.

The doorbell rings and I stand up to answer it. I open the door and I’ve never seen a guy this tall before.

“Hi.” He said. Did I just stare at him for too long?

“Hi.” I reply. He continued to smile and I do my thing. I stare. I realize what I just did and flushed so I stepped to the side opening the door wide enough so he and his luggage can fit in. He enters and closes the door when he did. I follow him from behind and he stops when he saw Se Ah. He turns back to me then to her.

“Are you both the real thing?”

“That was just rude.” Se Ah answers. “Can’t people just react normally whenever they see us?”

“That’s the normal reaction they give us.” I reply.

“Oh you’re here? Stop it you both. You’ll scare him.” Mom says.

“yes, thank you for letting me stay here Ms. Ahn.” The guy replied.

Mom smiled and nods. “It’s nothing. I’ve been friends with your Mom for a while and we have a spare room here. Going to a dorm would be a real hassle.” Mom turns to Se Ah as she point the spoon to her. “Se Ah, show him the room.”

Se Ah sighs and turns back to the television watching her show. “Your room’s right in front of So Ah.” She says.

“Se Ah!”

I chuckle. “It’s fine Mom.” I say. “I’ll bring you there.” I say and he nods. He follows me upstairs and I open the door again for him.

“Thank you.” He says. I nod and motion myself to my room. “Wait.” I stop and turn to face him. He reaches out his hand and smiles. His smile reminds me of Baekhyun. Why do I find smiles of guys very attractive today?

“Chanyeol. Park Chanyeol.”

Oh. He’s meaning to make his introduction. He’s the second person I talked to since Baekhyun. Both total strangers. “So Ah. My sister’s called Se Ah.”

“Nice names. You’re both quite the opposite huh?”

“I guess.” I actually find it weird. There was this time when I’ve thought that is it really that necessary for twins to have same rings to their names? I tried to search for names of twins and it showed that it was usually done even on the West. Weird right?

Chanyeol’s phone rings and he motions himself inside his room and I nod. I went inside my room and sat on my bed grabbing a book. I was suddenly reminded what Baekhyun said earlier. He told me he was interested with me. That does mean in a romantic way?

“Oh my god.” I felt my heart thumping at the thought. But now that I think about it, he’s kind of attractive and cute. There are low chances of meeting him again so it’s fine to have a little crush on him.

“A guy who reads.” I grin as I read my book and grab my necessities, a bookmark and a highlighter.

*****

After lunch, Se Ah went out because she was asked by mom to buy some ingredients for tonight’s dinner which I know frustrate her so much because she has a movie lined up that’ll supposed to eat her time this vacation before her college life stars. I walk downstairs and saw Chanyeol’s room open. I hear some sounds inside so I stop to listen. It’s so nice to listen to that I can’t help but to smile.

“So Ah?” My smile fades when I saw Chanyeol right across me.

When he’s out here who’s inside playing the piano? The door opens and I was taken back with the guy who’s inside his room right now. His face turned from shocked to amused as he looks at me. He rested his head on the door frame and stares at me.

“Well look at the chances.” Baekhyun utters. “We meet again.”

I’ve done my math earlier. There are a lot of people living in South Korea and the probability of us meeting again is so small that I decided to have a little crush on him. I don’t want to have crushes on people that I will meet often because I think I’ll act very awkward around them. Like I turn to an open book the moment I’m in front of the person. But why the hell is this guy here when I already have my mind set to crush on him? This doesn’t happen in reality when a guy you have a crush on and talked to at a bookstore suddenly is a friend of someone who stays at the same house as you. Am I filming a drama or something?

“Hey.” I greet.

“You know each other?” Chanyeol asks.

“She’s the girl I talked to you about.”

“The girl on the song?”

“Yeah.”
Wait what? Girl he talked about? Girl on the song? I don’t think I’m following in this conversation.

“Ah! Wait a minute!” Baekhyun disappears returning back inside Chanyeol’s room and coming back with a book on his hand. “Here.”

I take the book and look at it. It’s the book that he recommended earlier. He bought it? But why is he showing it to me?

“Oh, You bought it?”

“Yeah, on high hopes on meeting you again.”

I flush. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. But he said that he have hopes on meeting me again. Why is that? I have a lot of questions right now but my awkwardness is creeping out again. I’m afraid if I stay in front of him longer, I’ll be too obvious.

“Oh. Thanks.”

“Tell me if you’re done with that. I have the two books. I can lend it to you.”

“You always have those with you. Why not just give it to her today?”

“She’ll be spoiled.” I chuckle. He really has his humor. Another attractive side of him. “Read it okay?”

I nod. “Then I’ll be in my room.”

“Her room is right across yours?” Baekhyun point with his thumb and asks Chanyeol.

“Yeah.”

“Damn.”

I laugh hearing them converse and I shut my room close.

*****

I sit up straight and I realized I just fell asleep. I checked my phone seeing several texts from mom and I ignored it. I get that she’s being a worried mom but I need my space sometimes. I walk out of my room and gasp looking at the time. I saw Se Ah about to enter my room.

“Whoa.” I look at the tray she’s holding and it seems that she’s about to take my medicine to me. “You haven’t been out of your room for five straight hours.”

I grab the tablets and drink it all in. The door in front of us opens and I see Baekhyun coming out with Chanyeol. He looks at the tray that Se Ah’s holding then to me. My eyes widen. He saw it.

“What are those?” He pointed.

“Who are you?” Se Ah asked.

“Baekhyun. His friend. Now what are those?” His voice now sounds different from how I usually hear it. Funny how I just used the word usually because I just met him today.

“My pills.” I reply. “I’m a person with a heart disease who can die at any moment so they give it to me to strengthen myself to be able to walk by myself.”

“So Ah!”

I look at him and he’s looking at me with a soft look on his eyes. Who am I kidding? Of course he’s going to pity me. That’s always the expression that I get whenever people find out about me. They pity me for being weak. “Look, I don’t know if I’m interpreting the words that you’ve been giving me since we met earlier but if you really are saying that you like me then I’m telling you not to for your sake. I’m dying and you can’t love a dying person.”

I enter my room and shut my door close. I hear Se Ah knocking on my door but I’m not opening it. I just want to be alone.

I wait for something to happen and I know I’m being despicable right now. I never knew crushes can end that fast.

Hi everyone!! I'm back after a while ^^ I hope you'll all enjoy this one as much as you enjoyed my other stories :) Leave your comments and tell me what you think about it okay?