-Mijoo-

--PAST--

I looked up at my phone. 11.23pm. Still no incoming message or call.

I sighed and turned to my other side. 

He said it won't take long, that it is just a dinner. What kind of dinner last for almost 5 hours?

I moved my body and lied on my back. 

I sighed again. 

"Ok, this can't do." I sat up and started dialling on my phone.

The dial tone was ringing once... twice... 

before it rang for the third time, I heard the lock on the door. I hurried and hung up the call. 

Sungyeol walked in through the opened door. I saw he stumbled on the entryway. 

"Are you drunk?" I asked, out loud.

Sungyeol slurred, "hey baby, you're still awake?"

I got off the bed and met him halfway as he walked towards me. 

"what are you doing still up?" he kissed my forehead. 

"You're reek of alcohol." I moved a step back while scrunching my nose in disgust. I hate alcohol. 

"Sorry..." he turned around and grabbed a glass of water. 

"I thought you said it was just dinner."

"It was supposed to be, but the kids wanted to go to karaoke after that, and..." he gulped down the water.

"you had to join them?"

"I had no choice, I am the head of the club."

I picked up the bag and jacket that he threw on the floor while grumbling, "I am sure they can survive without you."

"What's wrong with you?" he raised his tone slightly

"I told you never ask me that question." I snapped. "Nothing is wrong with me, if anyone is, it would be you."

"oh my god." he grunted in frustration, "Is this about Na eun again?"

I didn't answer.

"you need to get this fear over with. I am getting tired of trying to convince you that there is nothing between me and her."

"was she there?"

"what?"

"was she there in the dinner tonight?"

He shook his head and walked away, "I am going to take a shower."

I grabbed his arm, "was she there?"

"No! She wasn't there tonight, yesterday or the day before!" He shook his arm off my grip, "I stopped talking to her for you since one week ago. Happy?!"

I stood there, speechless, as i watched him dissapeared into the bathroom.

Happy? Am I?

--

The sun pierced through the barely opened curtain and it hits on my face. I sighed. I haven't slept a blink all night. 

I sat up and turned to my side. Sungyeol was sleeping on his stomach, the way he likes it. 

I shook his body. It took a few tries before he responded with a soft grunt.

"Can you wake up, please?" I asked gently. 

"What time is it?"

I looked at the clock, "almost 7."

"It's still early." 

"I know." I placed my hand on his back, "but can you wake up please?"

"Why?" he complained.

"There is something I want to say."

He barely opened his eyes just to take a glance at me, "Can't it wait?"

I shook my head. "No."

It took him a while but he finally shifted his position, now lying on his side facing me. "OK. What's up?"

"I want to break up."

He sighed. I am sure it doesn't come as a surprise to him, as it was not my first time asking for break-up.

"Is it because of last night?" he asked.

I looked down at my hands. "I dont want to be a girlfriend who stays up at night waiting for his boyfriend to come home or at least call to tell me his whereabout. I dont want to be a girlfriend who wonder whether or not her boyfriend lie to her."

"Then, don't." he rubbed his face while slowly sitting up. I could hear frustration in his voice. "Why can't you just trust me?"

"I want to, but it's very hard, especially because you lied to me before."

"I never lie to you." He threw his hands up in the air.

"I really don't want to discuss that matter again for the hundreth times."

"Neither do I." He dropped his body and lied on his back with one arm covering his eyes.

"I hate myself right now. I hate who I have become."

"Is it that hard to be with me?"

I couldn't answer his question. I dont know how.

"So this is it,then?" He asked, looking at me. "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

I shook my head, "we have tried... So many times. I think we should stop before we start hating each other."

He didn't say anything this time.

I lied down and hugged him from the side. He returned the hug and squeezed me tightly. At that second, at that moment I was getting scared, scared of losing this person. I know i said it first, but the thought of doing this for the last time, it really scared me.

But then, before I could say anything, before I could take back what I said, he let go.

Now we are just two people lying side by side. 

"Still.... We can still be friends, right?" My question broke the silence.

"Of course." He said, though it sounded unsure.

Neither was I.

 

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