”How did you do it, unnie?” Yerin asks Sowon.

”Do what?” Sowon asks Yerin back.

”This. You let your girlfriend sleeps at someone’s home. Just the two of them.” Yerin explains her question.

”I trust Eunha. I trust our love.” Sowon answers as she types a text message on her phone. Eunha gets back to Handyman Oppa’s apartment after the oppa finished her chemo session this evening. The five of them, Eunha, Yerin, SinB, Umji and herself went to the clinic after practice to see Handyman Oppa while she was doing her chemo. Then, Eunha went back with Handyman Oppa and they went back to their dorm.

”I can’t let SinB does that...” said Yerin.

”I know.” Sowon’s response is shocking Yerin. Yerin gets down from her bed and sits on Sowon’s bed facing the older girl.

”You know?” Yerin asks.

Sowon nods before adds, ”probably everyone knows by now.”

”Did SinB told you that?” Yerin asks, hanging her head low. 

”Aniya. I noticed that when Eunha told me about a month ago or so? Couldn’t remember. But when she said that, I think back and realised it.”

”Do you think it’s the right thing to do?” Yerin looks up at the older girl who is now leaning against the wall, facing the empty bed in front of her.

”I am in no position to say if it’s right or wrong. I guess you two already talked about it and decided?” Sowon answers honestly. It’s because she understands why Yerin does it and she was in Yerin’s situation once. She did that to Eunha and they fought really hard that one time. Sowon and Eunha have come a long way to achieve this stage of relationship where they trust one another, particularly Sowon.

Sowon can still remember that phase until this day and as much as she doesn’t want to, she has to admit that she owed it to Handyman Oppa. The same person that is the cause of her jealousy was the same person that taught her how to salvage her relationship with the love of her life. Eunha also worked hard to convince her that she should trust their love and not to lose too often to the jealousy demon. 

”I think it’s the right thing to do. I thought! I thought it was the right thing to do. But then, you heard what Sei-sama said earlier right? SinB was crying. I know that every time she went to see oppa, she cried,” Yerin fiddles with the hem of her shirt, sounding a bit sad.

”How did you know? Did she cry in front of you?” Sowon asks.

”She didn’t. She never cried in front of me, not since we’ve decided to do that.” Yerin keeps looking vacantly at her t-shirt.

”Do what?” Sowon has a slight idea what Yerin is referring about but she rather hears it from Yerin herself.

”Not to text or call oppa, not meeting oppa...” Sowon is a bit shocked because she thought SinB only wasn’t supposed to meet oppa, not stop any type of communication. She secretly saluting SinB in her mind because the young girl was able to do that but also feels sorry for her as it might be difficult because SinB is very close with Handyman Oppa.

”It’s wrong to do that, huh?” Yerin asks, but Sowon denies it by shaking her head rapidly.

”Your face tells it all, unnie.” Yerin argued.

”It’s not like that. I mean...I think I get why you don’t let SinB meet oppa. But, I didn’t expect you told her to stop texting and calling oppa. That’s like asking her to cut ties with oppa. SinB was the first to befriend oppa and the closest with oppa. That’s why I was a bit surprised. I didn’t say it was wrong, and I didn’t say it was right.” Sowon explains her reaction that she failed to hide well. 

”Do you think that’s why SinB was crying?” Yerin asks.

”I don’t know. Maybe. Did you ask her about it? Maybe because oppa is sick?”

Yerin sighs. She never asked SinB about it because her girlfriend never cried in front of her. SinB was always happy when they are together. They do lots of things together and they rarely fight after they made the decision. Well, one might say it was her decision and SinB just went along with it. She and SinB are living their happiest time in their life right now. Being a couple, living together, spending almost every minutes together doing things together, with the cherry on top - not fighting. That’s why she never asked SinB about it when she saw SinB’s red and swollen eyes for the first time.

It was the day after they all found out about Handyman Oppa’s condition. Everyone cried but the extent of SinB’s eyes swollen suggested that she must have cried all night. But SinB didn’t say anything and Yerin didn’t ask. She knew that sometimes SinB asked Eunha or Umji how is Handyman Oppa doing with her treatment and the oppa’s health after the girls came back from visiting Handyman Oppa at the clinic. There was a time when Eunha was visiting Handyman Oppa that the oppa had to be hospitalised because she got a fever which was a sign of an infection, and that is bad for someone receiving chemotherapy. So, Eunha told them and that night SinB said she was tired and went to bed early then woke up with red and swollen eyes. Yerin thought maybe SinB was crying because she was worried about whether Handyman Oppa will be alright or not because the other girls were also worried.

She came to realise that SinB probably is crying because of what she had asked her to do when the day SinB followed Sowon and Eunha to the clinic to accompany Handyman Oppa doing her chemo. At that time, Eunha was the one asking SinB to tag along with them and because SinB wasn’t scheduled for anything while she had some personal schedule to attend to, she had no reason to stop SinB from going. She went to the clinic right after her schedule ended and once again she saw SinB’s eyes are red indicating she was crying before.

Yerin also overheard that SinB wanted to tag along with the two unnies and spent the night at Handyman Oppa’s but luckily Sowon and Eunha didn’t agree to her request. But SinB didn’t say anything to her. Now that she thinks about it, probably the couple didn’t say yes because they figured she wouldn’t let SinB to and that she might get upset if they did. Before they went back that day, SinB went to the toilet and she took a bit of time. When she returned, her eyes were red and a bit swollen, clearly showed that she was crying. SinB didn’t say anything about it on their way home. SinB just asked her about her schedule, what did she eat, did she enjoyed the day and stuff that they always talked with each other. Not once did her girlfriend mentioned about Handyman Oppa.

She was elated when she saw SinB did that. But, today is the day when she finally thinks about all those subtle things SinB was doing. It all started last night when everyone decided to visit Handyman Oppa at the clinic today after practice. She swears she saw SinB’s face lit up when Sowon called the manager and he said yes to their plan. SinB smiled and it was totally different than her usual smiles. SinB always smiles at her, there is no doubt with that. And she always looks happy when she is smiling. But, last night, it was different. The smile was not only on her lips but her eyes and face as well. It was sweet and filled with anticipation. SinB was excited and happy the whole day, and she was elated when their practice ended, urging everyone to get ready quickly to go to the clinic. 

Earlier, when they arrived at the clinic, Sowon suggested that they buy something from the cafeteria so they could eat while chatting with Handyman Oppa. The girls were of course happy, especially Sowon because she loves spending Handyman Oppa’s money. The older woman gave her a credit card that she should use whenever she or the others are coming to the clinic for her chemotherapy. Sowon would literally raid the cafe and the convenience store buying almost everything she laid her eyes on. Everyone agreed to Sowon’s suggestion and went to the cafe except for SinB. SinB just asked Sowon to buy something for her and Handyman Oppa because she wanted to go directly to the treatment room.

Yerin joined the girls at the cafeteria but left slightly early to join SinB at the treatment room. When she got there she heard Sei-sama, Handyman Oppa’s Japanese best friend was talking to SinB. She clearly heard the woman said this, ”SinB, why are you crying? Your oppa is just sleeping. Yuu is still alive.” SinB didn’t answer the woman’s question and greeted the woman. SinB was calling Sowon and the girls arrived. Her girlfriend didn’t say anything and just stick by her side the whole time they were there but Yerin could feel that SinB was not as happy as she was before she went and see Handyman Oppa alone. 

That’s why Yerin thinks long and hard about it. She decides to ask Sowon for some advice seeing the older girl also has a girlfriend who she just let her spend the night at Handyman Oppa’s home without her.

”Yerin?” Sowon calls the younger girl who spaced out for minutes after her last question.

”Hmm...? Ahh. No, I didn’t ask her. But, I think it’s not just because oppa is sick. I mean...oppa is doing better, right? The chemo is coming to an end in a couple of months, isn’t it?” Yerin asks for Sowon’s confirmation and the tall girl just nods her head as a response.

”Then why do you think SinB is crying? Did you two had a fight?” Sowon asks. That was the same question she asked herself hours ago.

”Unnie, can I ask you something and you have to answer?”

”I’ll try to answer,” Sowon said as she nods her head.

”If you can, would you stop Eunha from being in contact with oppa?” Yerin starts asking Sowon the first of series of questions she already had in mind.

”I did do just that actually. Didn’t turn out well.” Sowon’s answer makes Yerin eyes and mouth open wide. 

”You did? What happened?” Yerin asks, putting her set questions on hold.

”We fought. Really bad. We weren’t talking for almost two weeks.” Sowon stares into space.

Sowon continues, ”but, I guess Eunha was slightly different than your girlfriend. Because she insisted on keeping in contact with oppa. And of course, that’s why we fight.” 

”SinB and I, we constantly fight the first few weeks because of it. Then we...I, I decided that if she just stopped contacting oppa so often, we wouldn’t have fight so much. And she finally gave up fighting for it. She agreed to my request and after that we rarely fight. So, my decision was right, wasn’t it?” Yerin asks Sowon for confirmation.

”But, here you are talking to me because you don’t feel it is right, didn’t you?” Sowon asks and Yerin sighs.

”I don’t know anymore. We are happy together. But...somehow, sometimes I think she is sad.” Yerin mumbles.

”Why did you do that? Are you afraid that oppa is going to steal SinB away from you?” Sowon asks earnestly as she just knew the fact that the oppa is in love with SinB. Accidentally, though. 

Yerin nods her head weakly before taking a deep breath. ”Oppa loves SinB.”

”What? How did you know that?” Sowon asks sounding rather shocked wondering if she is the only one who didn’t know about that. Little that Sowon knows, she is actually the only one that missed that little piece of information until recently.

”I met oppa and called out for war on winning SinB’s heart. I went to oppa’s office and told oppa I like SinB too and that we should try our best to win SinB over. Let the best man wins.” 

Surprised with Yerin’s boldness that she never knew the girl has in her, Sowon asks, ”when?”

”A few weeks after we first meet oppa for dinner.” Yerin said flatly.

Sowon is getting even shocked realising that. Sowon sighs. Things she has in her head are what she wanted to say to Yerin but she doesn’t want to hurt her friend. But, she also wants to help her friend with her relationship. 

”Just say it, unnie.” Yerin demanded. Sowon looks at Yerin with guilt written all over her face.

”It’s okay. I’m okay. Just say what you have in mind.” Yerin reassures Sowon while fully knowing she is not okay, she will definitely hurt by what the older girl wants to say although she is not 100% sure what it is.

”Can I ask you some things first before I say it?” Sowon asks, Yerin nods.

”Didn’t you say oppa helped you with your proposal?” Sowon asks.

”Yes. The first and the second one.” Yerin answers with a bitter feeling tugging her heart.

”You and oppa was close, were you?” Sowon asks, Yerin nods. ”And all this while oppa knew you like SinB?” Sowon asks, Yerin nods and then Sowon mumbles to herself, ”oppa, you pabo.”

”Am I also a pabo, unnie?” Yerin asks. She heard what Sowon mumbles to herself just now.

”No. You keep oppa in check. I would do and I did the same. Did oppa ever do something to sabotage your chance with SinB?” Sowon still asks even though she knew the answer will be a no. And as expected, Yerin said no.

”Do you honestly believe oppa would do such things now that you and SinB are together?” Sowon asks. She decided to not say what she had in mind but to ask questions to make Yerin realise it herself.

”Maybe. I love SinB so much, unnie. I don’t want to lose her. Not after all I had done to win her heart. Not after all those fights. I can’t lose her, unnie. I love her.” Yerin’s voice starting to crack, on the verge of bursting into tears.

”Then, I guess what you are doing is right?” Sowon said unsurely, more like asking Yerin.

”But, I feel like I’m slowly losing her...”

Sowon sighs. That was exactly what she felt too. It is so uncanny that her roommate and her shares the same experience with their girlfriend involving the same person, Handyman Oppa. 

”Yerin, let me tell you something. Always trust your feeling. If you start to feel like you are losing her, you are. Do something before you lose her completely. You love her, don’t you? You want her to be happy, don’t you?” Sowon asks, Yerin nods for the nth time tonight.

”Then do something. Talk to her.” Sowon Yerin’s shoulder assuringly.

***

”Yewon-ah, are you busy?” SinB asks her roommate.

”No, why?” Umji asks SinB back.

”You know this song, don’t you?” SinB asks as she presses the play button. She is watching the video of Hyorin singing the song ’Fate’ in the ’I am a singer’ program. The song was originally sung by Lee Sun Hee, but she has been listening to this version because this was the one Handyman Oppa listened earlier at the clinic.

Earlier, they all went to the clinic where Handyman Oppa does her chemo and SinB went to see the oppa ahead of the other girls. When she arrived, Handyman Oppa was asleep on the chair while listening to her mp3. So, SinB took out an earphone from Handyman Oppa’s ear and listened to the song through it. SinB couldn’t stop her tears from flowing when she listened to the song and when she saw some dry tears on Handyman Oppa’s cheeks. The lyrics tugged her heart. 

 

”Ahh, this song. Yes. I know this one. Fate. Why?” Umji asks as soon as the song stops. 

”What do you think it means? The lyrics...” SinB asks. She knows what it means, that’s why she has been crying when she listened to it earlier and when she’s back in the dorm and binge-listening to it. She just wanted to know its meaning from other people’s perspective.

Umji stares at SinB’s face for a while. She takes a deep breath as if she is bearing such responsibility that the answer is a life and death matters. 

”I think, it’s someone who loves someone but hasn’t got the chance to be together. That person takes it as fate, nothing they can do about it. Despite the fate that kept them apart, that person will always keep the love and cherish it every day, so it will still be alive. And...that person hope that if they ever meet some other time...or in their next life, the other person will not let him or her go. It’s like that person is accepting the ill fate of their love right now but is not going to give up on it.” Umji said in all seriousness.

”If someone is listening to this song, what do you think it means? I mean, why does that person listen to this song?” SinB asks.

”One might say, the person is making a statement that they are not going to move on from the love? Or it could also be the person is trying to console themselves of what is happening to them, to tell themselves that they should accept it. I don’t know...maybe.” Umji stares at SinB with a questioning look because SinB doesn’t always ask something like this.

”Ohh. I see. That’s what I thought so...” SinB said, looking down at her sketchbook, doodling something.

”Why do you ask?” Umji asks.

”A friend is listening to this song. So, I wanted to know why.” SinB honestly answers Umji’s question. It is true, it’s just she left a minor detail on who the person is. 

”I think you should ask that friend. Sometimes people just listen to a song because they like the singer’s voice or the melody without focusing on the lyrics. So, what I just said probably is not the reason why they listen to it,” said Umji. SinB sighs.

”Are you okay, Eunbi-ah? You look worried. Do I know this person? Do you want me to ask that person about it? I can help you with that...” Umji asks when she saw SinB sighing with a concerned look plastered on her face.

”No, it’s okay. Don’t worry, I’m okay. I’ll ask her if I have a chance.” SinB said, smiling at Umji assuring her best friend that she is okay. SinB Umji’s shoulder a couple of times and whispers her thank you and a good night wish before getting into her bed.

If I ever get a chance to talk to oppa again...

SinB forces her teary eyes to shut and tries to sleep. She cries herself to sleep, yet again.

***

Yerin stands in front of Handyman Oppa’s door, staring at it for the past five minutes. The oppa knows she is coming, she texted her this morning. She has made a decision and she is here to tell Handyman Oppa about it. Yerin takes a deep breath and keys in the code before opening the door to find Handyman Oppa sitting on the couch, watching anime. The older woman raised her hand, greeting Yerin who is still at the door.

”Oppa, I talked to Sowon unnie a few days ago.” Yerin starts the conversation. She told herself that she should make it quick so she is not going to change her mind. Handyman Oppa nods her head, gesturing that she is listening even though her eyes are glued to the screen.

Yerin continues, ”I have made a decision regarding me and SinB.” Handyman Oppa nods her head again when Yerin paused.

”I’m going to break up with her.” Yerin who has been tensed ever since she got into the house, finally relaxes and leans on the couch. 

Pap!

Yerin blinks her eyes in disbelief. She didn’t expect that. Handyman Oppa just smacks the back or her head without even looking at her. She is at a loss of word right now. She is not quite sure what to do. She wanted to curse the oppa because it hurts like hell. Handyman Oppa still is strong as before even though she is sick right now. She wanted to cry because although she made the decision, it is still hurtful for her to let go the girl she loves. But nothing comes out from her agape mouth.

Handyman Oppa finally turns to her side to look at Yerin when the show ends. She flashes a quizzical look at Yerin who is looking as blank as a white sheet.

”Are you losing your mind? And just what kind of talk did you two had? Sharing tips on how to be stupid? I thought Sowon had come a long way and realised that was a stupid thing to do.”

”I heard that SinB was crying the last time we went to visit you, oppa,” Yerin said.

”Ohh. So? Is that enough reason to break up with her? Did you ask her why?” Yerin just shakes her head. She came up with the decision by herself after her talk with Sowon a few days ago.

”Where are you going?” Yerin asks Handyman Oppa who stands up and walks away from the living room without saying anything.

”I need something to drink for this. Would you like some?” Handyman Oppa said as she opens the fridge. 

”I know she is crying because of you oppa. That was not the first time. I saw her eyes before this. She had cried a few times.” Yerin said, trying to convince Handyman Oppa.

”She loves you, oppa,” Yerin continues when Handyman Oppa didn’t say anything and just drinks the pineapple juice from the fridge.

”Ahh...how do you know this? Did she tells you that?” Handyman Oppa asks as she walks out of the kitchen.

”No. But, I knew it, oppa!” Yerin shouted out of frustration.

”Ahh...you are a psychic.” Handyman Oppa said nonchalantly as she walks to her bedroom and gets out after a few seconds.

”No. But, she cried when she visited you at the clinic. She cried when Eunha told us about you being hospitalised. She didn’t cry in front of me, but she can’t hide her eyes. You told me that the eyes never lie.” Yerin still sits on the couch, following the older woman’s movement with her eyes.

”And that is the reason? What exactly did Sowon and you talk about? Didn’t she say something about love and trust? Talk to your partner? Nothing on that?” Handyman Oppa asks, looking utterly annoyed at Yerin.

”Sowon unnie said that. She said we have to trust our partner. Care for her and love her with as much as we can give them. Trust the love we have with our partner. But, don’t just blindly trust them. Look at every single thing they are showing to us.” Yerin repeats back what Sowon told her which she got from the woman sitting on the coffee table in front of her, staring her like a hawk.

”And how does that lead to you breaking up with SinB?” Handyman Oppa asks, extremely confused with Yerin’s decision.

”She cried for you. She loves you, oppa...”

”Okay. Let’s assume that was right, because we both don’t know it for sure since we didn’t ask her. So, SinB loves me, that’s why she cried. What does that have to do with you making a stupid decision to break up with her? Need I remind you, that what your unnie did with Eunha and you were there busting your and my to help her get back together with Eunha.” Handyman Oppa articulated each word as clear as she can, hoping that it would knock some senses in Yerin.

”I don’t think she is happy with me. She might be happy if she is with you.” Yerin said, ignoring the fact that Handyman Oppa just throw at her.

Handyman Oppa stares Yerin down, but she endures it. She is not going to falter. Yerin continues to say what she plans to say to Handyman Oppa, ”that’s why I am here, you should be with her.”

”Ahh...is she your property? Now, you are a property manager? Should we just swap names in the document saying that SinB now belongs to me? Is that how this works?” Handyman Oppa provoked Yerin.

”No. That’s not what I am saying. She is not some object, oppa.” Yerin rebutted.

”That’s what you are doing right now. You come here and tell me you are going to break up with SinB without even discussing the issue of SinB’s crying with her. Then, you told me I should be with her. You even told her not to contact me, you didn’t let her see me. You are managing your property quite good, Yerin-ssi.” Handyman Oppa continues to provoke Yerin.

”She. Is. Not. An. Object. She is a person, oppa. Why do you keep saying that?” Yerin starts to cry silently.

”I didn’t say she is. I’m merely stating what you are doing, Yerin,” said Handyman Oppa flatly.

”I am not. You know what? Say what you want to say. I don’t care.” Yerin wipes off the tears from her cheeks and eyes, acting tough in front of Handyman Oppa.

”I can’t stop you from making a stupid decision. I helped you before when you are proposing to her. Didn’t know you would just let her go like this. There is this thing that people call ’talk’. You can do that and sort the issue out instead of breaking up. But, I guess you have made up your mind.” Handyman Oppa says without once leaving her eyes from Yerin’s. Yerin nods her head.

”Break her heart and I swear heaven helps me, I will never let you get back with her again. Even if I know you are the love of her life, and you realise that you make a mistake, believe me when I say, I will never let you be with her again. I will make sure you live your life full of regrets for letting her go now. I will never know what the future hold, I don’t know how long will your relationship last but I know this for sure that your decision right now is stupid and uncalled for. I don’t think I have to tell you that because you already know it. But, then again you just want to believe what you want to believe. You just want to do what you want to do without even care about SinB.” Handyman Oppa says while looking straight into Yerin’s eyes with a serious tone that Yerin had never heard before.

”No. I care. I care for her. I love SinB so much that’s why I am willing to do this!” Yerin shouted as she burst into tears.

”Oh okay then. Then you will understand me when I said that just now. I will never let you live your life even a second without regretting this decision. I will do everything in my power to stop you from getting back together with SinB.” Handyman Oppa pats Yerin shoulders a few times before squeezing them. Yerin continues to cry.

”Oh, in fact, I think I’m going to start now.” Handyman Oppa said as she reaches for her mp3 player that is laying around on the couch.

Handyman Oppa turns it on and browses for a song she has stored in the device. She clicks on the song from Urban Zakapa, ’ I hate you’ and press play. She already connected the device to the speaker and in just a second the song filled the apartment.

🎶 I never beg you for love
I just wanted your true heart
Even on the day I saw you for the last time
I didn’t want you
I wanted your true heart

My scarred heart and
My tainted memories of that time
Even your expression when you looked at me
I really hate it all
I hate you

Our nervous relationship
Me, trying to protect it
I really regret it all
I didn’t know better
I hate you

I never beg you for love
I just wanted your true heart
Even on the day I saw you for the last time
You weren’t being honest
I wanted your true heart

My scarred heart and
My tainted memories of that time
Even your expression when you looked at me
I really hate it all
I hate you

Our nervous relationship
Me, trying to protect it
I regret it all

My tightly shut heart and
Our relationship that can’t be turned back
The times we used to hurt each other
I hate those times
I hate you

If more time passes
Will we be able to understand each other?
But even then, let’s not meet
I hate myself for being like this

I always showed you my true heart
I believe that you did so too at least during those times 🎶

Handyman Oppa plays the song on repeat. Yerin listens to the song and cries even harder. She keeps the song playing although Yerin’s crying and sobbing are out of control. She is wailing on the couch, her shoulder moves up and down rigorously, sometimes the girl cough and gags. Handyman Oppa just looks at the girl, wrapped up in guilt but told herself to keep going.

It’s for your own good, Yerin-ah. It’s for you and SinB.

The front door suddenly burst open and Sowon is panting while yelling at Handyman Oppa, ”oppa! Stop the song!”. Handyman Oppa doesn’t move a muscle and just stares emotionless at Sowon who is now sprinting towards her. Sowon press the stop button and the song immediately stops. The tall girl lunges at Yerin and pulls the girl into a hug, shushing her as she rubs Yerin’s spine to calm her down. Eunha walks into Handyman Oppa’s apartment whose door is left wide open.

Eunha glares at Handyman Oppa who just shrugs her shoulder and leave the living room for the bathroom. Handyman Oppa trudge out of the bathroom when Eunha keeps banging on the door. She smiles at Eunha without saying anything. She knows the petite girl has something to say and she can guess what it is, but she doesn’t want to talk about it. Handyman Oppa goes to the kitchen and passes through the living room where Sowon is still hugging the crying Yerin. She puts on the kettle to boil some water. She likes to boil water on the stove or using the electric kettle instead of just get the hot water from the water dispenser because the taste is somewhat different.

**

Pap!

Handyman Oppa rubs the back of her head and puts down the mug half-filled with a hot black tea on the table in front of her. Eunha who is sitting on her left was also shocked. 

”Is she asleep?” Handyman Oppa asks without even fazed by Sowon’s smack and glare.

”Why did you do that?” Sowon sits next to Eunha scowled at Handyman Oppa.

”What?” Handyman Oppa asks innocently.

”She is not as tough as I am. Why did you put on that song? You should’ve stopped when you saw she was crying.” Sowon chided.

”It worked on you. Worked on Sei too. Should work on her as well.” Handyman Oppa said nonchalantly as she sips back on her tea.

”Why can’t you just be like a normal person? Just talked her out. Do you have to be that cruel and let her consumed by her own thought? She cried like there’s no tomorrow.” Sowon grumbled, still angry at Handyman Oppa for making Yerin listen to the song from Urban Zakapa, the same song the oppa made her listened to for hours when she was helping her get back together with Eunha.

”You talked to her. But, not sure what you two talked about that she made a decision to break up with SinB.” Handyman Oppa sassed.

”Don’t say it like we are the only ones that do stupid things!” Sowon half-screamed at Handyman Oppa who just shrugs her shoulder, pouting her lips and says, ”I guess we are just a bunch of stupid people then.”

”Arghh! Why is it so hard to talk to you?Sometimes I think it’s impossible to talk to you.” Sowon shouted.

”Sing then,” Handyman Oppa said still acting indifferently at the angry girl.

”Arghh!!! You stupid person!” Sowon screams frustratedly.

”Why are you so mad? I don’t think she will break up with her now. You talked some senses in her then,” Handyman Oppa said, slouching in the chair.

”That kid listens to you, oppa...” said Sowon, clearly showing devastation and worries on her face. People might misunderstand that they are a family talking about their child. Handyman Oppa wanted to laugh at her own thought but she holds it in, not to make Sowon angrier.

”Then she wouldn’t do what she thought of doing. I did the same to you before, it worked didn’t it? And what do you get from the song? It’s the same as what I have been trying to tell you,” reasoned Handyman Oppa.

”I know the lyrics teach us something valuable. But, it is hard for her. She is not like me. Now she is going to go hard on herself. Thinking that she is so bad for wanting to break up with her. Why can’t you just use your mouth?” Sowon sighs.

”I’m sure you already said that to her. She told me you two had a talk. The song is supposed to get her hard. She needs to know and understand that the two of them have to be true to themselves, and to each other for them to be able to love each other fully. She was the one asking SinB to be her girlfriend, and yet she is going to break her heart right now, without even discussing the issue with her. She just assumes that SinB would be happy not tied to her anymore after all that hardships the girl had endured to protect their relationship, to make them happy. She couldn’t trust their love enough that she needed to ask SinB to stop contacting me, and now she thinks SinB is going to be happier if she is with me because SinB cried when she met me. Tell me how is Yerin any different than you, Sowon-ah?”

Sowon lets out a deep, long sigh. Handyman Oppa is right. That was exactly what she did to Eunha and she regretted it till this day. Handyman Oppa made her listened to the song for hours when she asked her for help to get back together with Eunha. The lyrics of the song kind of speaking to her what is Eunha feeling at that time. And it is what Yerin is doing right now. To an extent, she does agree with Handyman Oppa, but she couldn’t help but feel hurt when she saw Yerin crying her eyes out earlier. The girl beats herself down for making SinB suffers all this time and she selfishly decided to end the relationship.

At that time, Sowon learnt to communicate better with Eunha, and to trust her more. And as much as she hates to admit, she trusts Handyman Oppa too. The woman clearly said, no, she threatened her that she will do anything she can to make her life miserable if she ever does the same thing again to Eunha. But, at the same time, the woman helped her a lot. Handyman Oppa was earnestly helping her with Eunha although she was being a jerk at that time. But, it was slightly different than with Yerin and SinB’s relationship. She totally understands Yerin’s stance because Handyman Oppa also loves SinB. That’s why Yerin did that.

”It’s different, oppa. You love SinB...” Sowon accidentally slipped what she has in her mind. Handyman Oppa doesn’t say anything, just continue eating the cake with Eunha.

”You love SinB...that’s why you were always there whenever we are performing... You love SinB...that’s why you were there when we shoot the music video to apologise to her. You love SinB...that’s why you didn’t tell her or any of us about your brain cancer. You don’t want her to worry. You love SinB...that’s why when she was mad at you, you still care for her. You love SinB...that’s why you are close with Yerin even after Yerin called out the war. You are helping Yerin out so that SinB would end up with someone who can take care of her and love her with everything she has. You love SinB...that’s why you helped Yerin with the proposal idea. So SinB would be proposed in a way she deserved to be. You love SinB...that’s why you didn’t tell her about your condition because you didn’t want her to choose you over Yerin because of that. You want Yerin to have a fair chance to win SinB’s heart. You love SinB...that’s why you introduced her to your family that none of us ever heard about. You love SinB...that’s why you didn’t eat for three days and collapsed that day. You love SinB...that’s why you never said anything when she didn’t contact your or see you, you don’t want her to feel bad for you or hate Yerin for that...”

Sowon stares at Handyman Oppa in shocked. She realises all those things and manages to surprise herself in the process. The older woman doesn’t even flinch nor saying anything which just confirms what she just said.

Sowon realises how great this person is. And finally, she understands fully the reason why Eunha adores, loves, trusts and appreciates this person so much. Just like Eunha always said to her. Handyman Oppa is someone she can say everything she had in her mind, what is she feeling without having to hold herself back. That person would do her very best to support whatever she wanted to do. And all this while, Handyman Oppa has been doing that to her as well but she didn’t realise it.

”Is that why you love this person so much, Eunha?” Sowon asks and Eunha nods her head, smiling warmly at her. 

”You stupid oppa!” 

”What?” Handyman Oppa flashes a quizzical look at Sowon.

”You stupid person. You are just a stupid person who loves SinB that much that you rather suffer. You stupid! You have loved her from the start!”

”Why are you so mad at me? What do you want me to do then? Ask someone’s girlfriend to be my wife?” Handyman Oppa asks.

”You’ve had the ring for more than a year, oppa. You could have asked her way before Yerin did.” 

”Yah! Shouldn’t you be happy for your friend instead? And I guess it was never meant to be. SinB loves Yerin, that’s why she chose her,” said Handyman Oppa to Sowon.

”You never know that. You never asked her. You are so stupid for wasting your chance...” Sowon said frustratedly.

”And I will never get to know that now. I don’t think you or any of the girls are going to be pleased if I propose to SinB the day after we first meet. Am I right? I have a perfect plan laid out in my head. I was going to propose after a year from that day. I was going to show her how much I love her and of course I have to wait for her to be an adult to propose to her. I was going to propose to her after I introduced her to my grandparents. It was planned perfectly. But I had to push it back because my cancer relapsed and I didn’t know if I would survive. I don’t want to propose to her and then leave her all alone if I die. And as you can see, my plan was pushed back and she ends up with Yerin. That’s just my fate.” Handyman Oppa smiles bitterly. Eunha does the same. Sowon sighs. 

Without the three knowing, Yerin heard their heated, heartbreaking discussion. She finally understands what is happening. And she vows to herself that she will love and care for SinB with everything she got. She realised how selfish she has been these past months that she was hurting the girl she loves in the process. She realised that she was stupid to think that Handyman Oppa who has been sacrificing a lot for her and SinB is going to steal SinB from her.

Yerin knew that Handyman Oppa wouldn’t do that but she lost to the jealousy demon. She was the one responsible for making SinB cries all this time. If she had trusted their love more, her precious girlfriend wouldn’t have suffered that much. And she is thankful that Handyman Oppa gave her a beating through that song, otherwise she would have regretted that stupid, selfish decision her whole life. She believed Handyman Oppa when she said earlier that she will do everything she can to stop her getting back together with SinB. 

Yerin sighs. She doesn’t want to let the three know that she heard what they discussed, so she goes back to the couch. Yerin fishes out her phone and starts typing a long text message for SinB.

Dear SinB, my love.

I love you, honey. With all my heart, I love you and I will continue to love you forever. I’m sorry that I have been so selfish. I love you, that’s why but that is not a reason for me to hurt you. I’m sorry that I make you sad. I was wrong to ask you to stop being friend with oppa. I’m sorry that I didn’t trust our love enough and lost to my own jealousy and insecurity. I promise you that I will always trust and cherish our love. I promise you that I will love you and takes care of you. I promise that I will try my best not to hurt and make you sad anymore. I promise you that I will always talk to you and listen to you after this when something happens. And please know that I am here for you and you can trust me. I love you, SinB. Please forgive me for all the things I do that hurt you and make you sad. I’m not going to stop you from seeing oppa or being in contact with oppa as you always do like before. I trust you, I trust our love. I love you.

Yerin reads the text message again. She apologises to SinB and promise her to change herself for the better. But, she didn’t tell SinB that she was planning to break up with her, hence the realisation, the apology and the promises because she is smarter than that and she doesn’t want to suffer the consequences from the oppa if she finds out about it.

Yerin is sure that SinB must have been dumbfounded when she reads the text because they are currently not fighting but she is apologising to her and promising her things she will change after this. Yerin reads the text again and sends it to SinB. She waited for her girlfriend to reply but a minute has passed but nothing. She checked if her phone is still on or if the line was lost, but everything appears to be fine.

”Do you want me to proofread your text? You sent it to me, Yerin-ah. SinB won’t be able to reply if you didn’t send it to her,” Handyman Oppa suddenly said to her when she and the couple get back into the house from the balcony.

”Wha-” Yerin instantly looks at her phone and mentally facepalming herself. She then copies the text and paste them on the right thread and send it to SinB. This time, she checked every detail including the number so she wouldn’t send it to someone else again.

”But, that was good. I’m glad you come to your senses,” Handyman Oppa smiles at Yerin.

”I think you were right, Sowon. You and Yerin are different. You took a week to listen to that song and realise it and another week to make a move, while Yerin just had to listen to it for not more than an hour and realised it. She instantly makes her move, well not instantly because she sent the text to me and waited for her girlfriend to reply. But still...Very different, indeed.” Handyman Oppa joked and laughs her heart out earning her a punch on her stomach. When Sowon is about to swing another punch, Eunha stands in front of Handyman Oppa to block the punch. Sowon immediately puts her hand down weakly and pouts.

”Eunha? Don’t you love me? I’m your girlfriend, not this old man.” Sowon dramatically asks Eunha while Handyman Oppa smirks at her.

”I can’t believe you took two weeks to do that?! I do love you. And I love this sick oppa too. Don’t be so hard on oppa, she is sick, remember.” Eunha chided at Sowon.

”It hurts, Eunha-yang. Sowon punched me hard,” Handyman Oppa said cutely while pouting her lips and pretending to burst into tears.

”Where does it hurt? Let me see,” Eunha turns around asking Handyman Oppa worriedly while examining Handyman Oppa’s stomach. Handyman Oppa smiles proudly at Sowon and sticks her tongue at the tall girl who is rolling her eyes and showing her balled fist at her.

”Eunha-yang, Sowonnie showed her fist at me. She wants to punch me again...” cries Handyman Oppa.

”Sowon!” Eunha chided again as she immediately turns back around and caught Sowon with her fist in the air. Sowon’s hand plops down to her side weakly.

”Woah! Really, oppa?! You are going to play that helpless sick person card? I can’t believe you, oppa,” Sowon complained.

”I am sick. I’m not playing. I really am sick, Sowonnie.” Handyman Oppa said in a sad tone earning Sowon a death glare from Eunha. Handyman Oppa teases Sowon yet again because Eunha is currently back facing her. Handyman Oppa pokes her thumbs into her cheeks and moves her hand up and down while sticking out her tongue at Sowon, teasing the tall girl.

”Argh!!! I hate you, oppa!” Sowon screams at Handyman Oppa.

”You love me, Sowonnie.” Handyman Oppa shouted back at the tall girl before groaning in pain resulting from Eunha’s deadly pull-and-twist pinch on her stomach. 

”Stop teasing my girlfriend, oppa! I saw your reflection on the TV!” Eunha glares at Handyman Oppa then runs to Sowon and hugs the tall girl. Sowon hugs Eunha back tightly and now it is her turn to stick her tongue out at Handyman Oppa, laughing at her. She knew Eunha loves her. Handyman Oppa just smiles at the couple embracing each other.

”Oh, and Yerin, SinB will ask you why are you sending the text. She might think you did something wrong,” said Handyman Oppa.

”Omo! How did you know that? She just replied and asked me just that. What do I say?!” Yerin is flustered by both what Handyman Oppa said and what she should reply to her girlfriend.

”Tells her the truth, but not the whole thing. You heard the song playing and you thought about your relationship. Says that you don’t want the two of you to hate each other because you can’t be your true selves. Says that you are sorry and wanted to start fresh. And don’t forget to mention you love her.” Handyman Oppa said calmly and flashes a warm, loving smile at Yerin.

Yerin smiles back at Handyman Oppa assured with what the woman said. She starts typing the message along the line what the woman had said earlier. Yerin sighs as she hits the send button. She feels ashamed of herself that Handyman Oppa has helped her countless times with SinB while being in love with the girl. And even when she decided to break up with SinB which will be the golden opportunity for her, she stopped that from happening. All because she loves SinB. Yerin feels like her love is incomparable to Handyman Oppa’s love. She admires the older woman’s love and that inspires her to love SinB more.

”She said thank you and would love if we can start over,” Yerin reports to Handyman Oppa after she read SinB’s text even though the woman didn’t ask her to or even show any interest in what she is doing.

”That’s great. Plan something nice for her then. A date or a nice dinner or something. Let me know if you need any help.” Handyman Oppa said without leaving her eyes from the screen that is currently showing a re-run of Handyman Oppa’s favourite anime, ’One Punch’.

”Oppa...” Yerin calls, not expecting the woman to look at her but knows she would respond.

”Hmm...hahahaha!” As Yerin expected, Handyman Oppa hums in response followed by a hearty laugh at the funny scene on the TV without even glancing at the younger girl.

”Can you promise me something?” Yerin asks earnestly.

”I’ll try,” Handyman Oppa said. Although Yerin can only see the woman’s profile and not her eyes, she could tell that the oppa means it with all her heart from the sound of her voice.

”Tell SinB everything and honestly if she ever asked you. Don’t think about what is going to happen with our relationship, don’t even think about our relationship status and don’t even think about me,” Yerin said calmly and waits for Handyman Oppa to response but nothing. So, she continues, ”it doesn’t matter what will happen if she knows it. If she chooses to end our relationship and choose you. That means she loves you and that is what we all want, for her to be happy and be with the one she loves.”

”Emm, okay.” Handyman Oppa gives Yerin an okay sign with her fingers while still engrossed in the anime on the TV.

”Wait, why do I feel like you are planning something despite promising me that? You are going to do something so you wouldn’t have to do that at all cost, didn’t you?” Yerin asks upon hearing Handyman Oppa’s response just now. The older woman just shrugs her shoulder. Yerin pouts but chooses not to say anything seeing that the woman is now lying on the floor, grimacing as she is focusing on the anime’s fighting scene that seems important. She gets lost in her own thought.

”Oppa!” Yerin abruptly sits up from lying on the couch when something comes into her mind.

”Hmmm...?” Handyman Oppa hums calmly, unfazed by Yerin’s sudden screaming.

”That song. You were the one giving it to SinB, didn’t you?” Yerin asks but the woman doesn’t say anything.

”Urban Zakapa, I don’t love you,” Yerin said making it clearer to Handyman Oppa.

”Ne.”

Yerin blinks her eyes rapidly in disbelief upon hearing Handyman Oppa’s short answer. She asks the woman why did she do it.

”SinB once told me she has this friend who has two people that love her. She loves them too. She asked SinB and then SinB asked me how to choose from the two. I told her to choose the one she loves more. Or just don’t choose anyone. Then a few months ago, SinB said the girl wanted to know how to not choose the other one seeing that she also loves that person but maybe slightly less than the other one. I gave her the song and said the girl should listen to it so she can feel the same that she doesn’t love that person.” Handyman Oppa said nonchalantly.

”You know who is SinB referring to? I think she is referring to herself...” Yerin asks.

”I know.” 

”You know?! Then why did you do that?! You know that she listened to it over and over again? She cried listening to it. At least I think she cried because of the song, but perhaps she was crying because of what I asked her to do.” Yerin shouted at first, but when the realisation hits her, her voice lowered to almost inaudible.

”I assumed she cried and toughen up herself with it seeing that she was doing a decent job at cutting her contact with me. I would assume she cried for both reasons.” Handyman Oppa said without a hint of remorse in her voice.

Eunha has been listening to the two exchange ever since she got out of the second bedroom with Sowon a few minutes ago. It might go unnoticed for untrained ears and eyes, but she knows Handyman Oppa is struggling to keep her facade of just stating things in a matter-of-fact manner is hurting and eating the woman inside. It hurts Handyman Oppa the most that she had to do things that are making other people sad but she did them anyway to help others.

Eunha could sense that Yerin is going to give Handyman Oppa a piece of her mind, beating the woman hard for doing that and caused SinB to cry. And she is sure Handyman Oppa would just take it in without saying anything nor defend herself, showing to Yerin that she is not affected by it when it is hurting her so much. She couldn’t take it anymore, she couldn’t stand seeing Handyman Oppa being hurt today, she thinks it’s enough for her today, so Eunha calls the woman.

”Oppa, help me with this.” Eunha calls the oldest person in the room. 

Handyman Oppa gets up from the floor and goes to the kitchen where Eunha is at. Eunha hands her a bottle of water from the fridge. Handyman Oppa takes it and opens the cap for her before handing it back to Eunha. Eunha says thank you and she drags the woman to the master bedroom.

”Drink this.” Eunha gives the bottle to Handyman Oppa once they are in the bedroom. 

Handyman Oppa just follows what the petite girl asked her to do without complaining. She drinks half of the water before stopping and then looks at Eunha who has been staring her ever since they got there. Eunha then lunges at her and hugs her, burying her small face in her chest. Handyman Oppa can hear quiet sobs escaping Eunha’s mouth as the girl’s shoulder moves up and down while tightening her embrace. She kisses Eunha’s head tenderly, the girl’s spine softly. It makes Eunha cries even harder, but Handyman Oppa just let her.

A few minutes passed, Eunha’s crying begins to subside. She looks up to Handyman Oppa who is looking at her lovingly. Handyman Oppa then leads her to sit on the bed. They sit on the bed’s edge with Eunha siting next to the woman.

”Oppa, I have something to tell you.” Eunha says slowly, as quiet as she can. Handyman Oppa looks at her with her calm, loving eyes waiting for the petite girl to continue.

”That night in Japan...” Eunha said as quietly as she can, careful not letting other people heard her although she is in the room with Handyman Oppa while the two girls are in the living room. Handyman Oppa hums and nods her head assuring Eunha to continue.

”You were dead drunk and you told me your secret.” 

”About your identity,” Eunha said without waiting for Handyman Oppa to respond thinking that she should be clear as the woman might have lots of secret other than that one. 

”Ohh. I’m sorry you had to know that.” Handyman Oppa sincerely apologises. Eunha shakes her head, denying the apology.

”I am not sorry that I learnt that about you. I am glad that I know it. I want you to know that you can tell me everything.” Eunha looks straight into Handyman Oppa to show her that she meant every word.

”I know. Thank you. I love you.” Handyman Oppa caresses Eunha’s hair before ruffling them a bit.

”I love you too. But I hate you.” 

”Huh? Can you just love me and not hate me?” Handyman Oppa asks in a feign serious tone.

”Why do you have to live like this? Keep getting hurt like this. I hate you. I hate you for that. It hurts me too when I heard you crying for her in your sleep, oppa...” Eunha lightly smacks Handyman Oppa’s chest before caressing it tenderly and once again buries her head in it.

”That’s just my life. I’m used to it. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to sleeptalk anymore. Okay?” cajoled Handyman Oppa.

”This. This, why do you keep doing this?” 

”SinB is happy, I’m happy too. You are happy, I’m happy too.” Handyman Oppa said as she caresses Eunha’s arm. 

”Still, I hate it.” Eunha countered.

”I know. I know.” Handyman Oppa kisses the girl’s crown tenderly.

”You pabo!” Eunha smacks Handyman Oppa’s chest although the oppa is kissing her and comforting her.

”I’m your pabo, and you still love this pabo though...” Handyman Oppa laughs while groaning in pain when Eunha pinches her stomach out of embarrassment.

***

Yerin sneaks out of the dorm very early in the morning and goes to the market. She goes straight to the flower shop located at the end of the market’s building. Yerin smiles when she sees all the flowers that are still available especially the red roses. She picks out the red roses one after another and asks the ahjooma to just wraps them simply in a brown paper without any of the small flowers as fillers. She wanted just the roses. Then, she goes back to the dorm. Yerin looks at the watch and she is sure SinB is already up because she just received strings of text messages from her girlfriend asking her whereabouts. Yerin’s smile grows wider and she jogs back to the dorm, couldn’t wait to give the roses she has in her hand to SinB.

Yerin keys in the passcode and before she turns the doorknob, she hears SinB calling her name and opens the door from the inside. Yerin stands in front of the door, holding up the bouquet of roses, covering her face and waits for SinB to fully open the door.

”Yerin?” SinB calls her girlfriend’s name unsurely when the older girl didn’t respond.

”Yerin!!!” SinB squeals happily when Yerin lowers the bouquet a bit and peeks through the tips of the bouquet at SinB. SinB pulls her inside and they stand in the hallway.

”SinB, I promise you I will love you forever.” Yerin said as she hands the bouquet of ninety-nine red roses to SinB.

SinB takes the bouquet and almost instantly, tears trickling down her cheeks but manages to say, ”I love you, Yerin.” 

Yerin moves closer to SinB, standing in between her body and the big bouquet, she wipes the tears off SinB’s cheeks and softly kisses the girl’s right eye, left eye, tip of the nose, right cheek, left cheek and finally SinB’s lips. She mutters the same words again as she kisses SinB’s lips lovingly, SinB does the same. Yerin leans her forehead against SinB’s staring lovingly into her eyes. The stayed there for a while, looking at each other with their eyes are the one doing the talking. The look that they both understand, the look that tells each other how much they love one another and the promise to be with each other for as long as they are allowed to.

”Is it really ninety-nine roses?” SinB asks as she tries to count the roses in her hand.

”Yup. I want to get 999 roses but the ahjooma’s shop doesn’t have that much of roses. And I don’t think I can carry 999 roses all by myself.” Yerin said as she leads SinB to the couch in the living room.

”You don’t hav-” 

Yerin cuts SinB mid-sentence, ”my love for you have no boundary, SinB. It’s infinity. I would-” 

And now, SinB’s turns to cut Yerin’s sentence but not with words. SinB pulls Yerin into a kiss. She kisses Yerin’s lips tenderly while her hand still firmly holding the bouquet. 

”Thank you, I love you as much as you love me, there’s no end,” SinB said in between kisses.