’One half of me is yours, the other half yours,  Mine own, I would say; but if mine then yours. And so all yours.’

SinB read the text Handyman Oppa sends her. She reads it several more time to understand what does it means. If SinB is not wrong in interpreting the text message Handyman Oppa sent her, the older woman is trying to say...

Half of oppa is mine. Mine is mine. But if hers is mine, then everything is mine. So, she is all mine. Is this what it means?

SinB reads the text once again and just as she is about to type her reply, she receives a new text from Handyman Oppa.

HO: yes. exactly as you think it is. i was   reading the Merchant of Venice, by Shakspeare and immediately think of you. what are you doing?’

SB: Lying on my bed, rehearsing the song we are recording tomorrow. Did you have dinner already?

HO: ne. beef fried rice. ordered from the usual place. what you had for dinner? what Yerin cooked for you tonight?

SB: omurice. It’s delicious, you should try them sometime.

HO: ask her to cook for me, then. she cooks only for you.

SB: Aniya. We all eat omurice, she cooks for everyone.

HO: ohh...not having candlelight dinner tonight. are you girls going somewhere for the mv shooting?

SinB sighs when she read Handyman Oppa’s recent text. She never meant for the older woman to know about her dinner with Yerin. Although it was not every night, but some nights, she and Yerin had dinner together, only the two of them. And twice Handyman Oppa called her while she was having dinner with Yerin and she couldn’t lie. That’s how the older woman came to know about the dinner with Yerin. SinB has no intention of lying to Handyman Oppa about it, as well as not telling her about it. She is feeling slightly guilty and uncomfortable to tell the older woman about it.

SB: Yes. Three days.

HO: can we meet before you go?

SB: Sure, if we can make it.

HO: we? can it just be you, only you? 

SB: The managers don’t allow us to go out without the others now.

HO: dinner at my place, then?

SB: You haven’t cooked for weeks now. And why aren’t you cooking?

HO: i’ll cook if you come here then. just don’t feel like cooking or eating. so, is it still a no then?

SB: I’m sorry. 

HO: i haven’t met you alone for more than two months. can you make an exception for this time only, please? i miss you. 

SB: I’m sorry. You know how it is. I miss you too. So, meet us at the bbq place?

HO: i want you, only you. i miss you.

SB: I’m going to be there as well. So?

HO: don’t want to. i just want to see you, only you. not Yerin, not Sowon, not Eunha, not Yuju, not Umji. i want my Bi.

SB: Are you being childish now? A stubborn one at it. 

HO: yes. i stubbornly miss you and want to see you, only you. 

SB: It’s SinB + five or none. Yes or no?

HO: no. my Bi + me. only my Bi.

SB: Can’t help you there, buddy. 

HO: nothing i can do then. don’t stay up too late. good night, sweet dreams of me. let me know if anything happens. i love you, Bi. -the longing oppa who is SinB’s-

SB: Are you being serious now? Being a stubborn five-year-old, rather not meeting me because I can’t go alone. Well suit yourself, then.

HO: yes. this thirty 31 years old oppa wants to see you and only you, Bi. but you can’t make it, so..

SB: What’s the difference if I’m with them? You can still meet me, can you?

HO: i can, but i want to meet just you. not you + 5 others. 

SB: Then don’t meet me at all. Don’t call me, don’t text me. Good night. I never knew I’m friends with such a childish person. 

Handyman Oppa stares at the last text SinB sent and wondering how could they began with ’I’m yours’ message and ends with ’don’t meet, don’t call and don’t text me’ message. They haven’t gone out alone just the two of them for almost three months, was it really childish of her to ask SinB to meet her alone without the other members? Handyman Oppa sighs heavily before tossing her phone on the couch.

***

”What’s wrong, SinB-yah?” Sowon asks as soon as SinB grunting, throwing herself on the couch where the older girl is sitting with Eunha.

SinB just shakes her head weakly and buries her head on Eunha’s lap. She hasn’t done this in ages. This is not the typical cold SinB, but she has no choice. She doesn’t want to bother Yerin with her problem with Handyman Oppa. She doesn’t think it’s appropriate. Plus, Eunha is the closest with Handyman Oppa, so maybe Eunha can talk some senses to the older woman.

SinB takes some time to think about how is she going to say this to Eunha and as if the older girl that shares the same birth name as her could understand her, Eunha just her hair gently without asking her anything. After a while, she positions herself to look at Eunha’s face from below as she is resting her head on the older girl’s lap. She sighs deeply to attract Eunha’s attention which works like a charm. Eunha looks down, their eyes meet and clearly in the older girl’s eyes are concerned with her. 

”We had a fight, unnie...” SinB starts telling Eunha what happened ten minutes ago.

”I’ll ask the manager’s permission, I’m sure he will let you go,” Sowon who has been listening to SinB, offers a viable solution to her.

”I don’t want to. Oppa can just agree to meet us at the BBQ place, can she? Is it too much to ask?” SinB rebutted.

”Well...why don’t you want to see her alone?” Eunha asks.

”I really wanted to go to the BBQ place?” SinB answers unsurely.

Eunha and Sowon both raise their eyebrow upon hearing SinB’s response. Only a fool will believe what the girl just said but then, it’s quite possible that SinB really is just craving for some grilled meats since she can be a bit weird. 

”Tell oppa that, she’s going to agree,” Eunha suggests knowing the older woman well.

”Do I have to? Can she just say yes when I asked her before? What’s with her being childish and stubborn tonight? Let her be then. I’m not going to say anything to her!” SinB screams in anger, causing the two unnies dumbfounded by her sudden outburst.

”You told oppa not to text or call you, didn’t you?” Sowon asks. SinB nods her head weakly before screaming frustratedly.

SinB’s scream might be too loud that Yuju, Umji and Yerin storm out of their rooms worriedly. The three ask SinB if she is alright and sighs in relief when the girl said she is. SinB apologises to her members that she screamed just now and made them worry.

”She just wants to go to the BBQ place so bad,” Sowon said mockingly because she knew SinB wouldn’t be able to do anything to her.

”Oh okay. We already have our dinner planned then. Let’s head to the BBQ place tomorrow after the recording session,” Yerin smiles warmly at SinB and the rest of her housemates teammates.

Yuju and Umji exclaim with happiness, while Sowon and Eunha just smiles, unaffected by the announcement. SinB on the other hand just stares at Eunha’s chin, doesn’t know what to feel.

”I’ll ask oppa to join us tomorrow, is it okay, Yerin unnie?” Yuju asks Yerin to which Yerin just nods her head and smile.

”SinB-yah, why aren’t you happy? Yerin unnie is going to treat us dinner tomorrow at your favourite BBQ place,” Umji asks when she saw SinB doesn’t react like she usually does.

”Because she got into a fight with oppa because of that BBQ place,” Sowon sticks out her tongue at SinB when the girl glares at her for telling everyone about it.

Yerin’s face immediately changes from happy to a bit disappointed. She didn’t expect to hear that. 

”Did you angrily tell oppa not to text and call you again?” Umji asks with a hint of disappointment in her voice.

”Why do you guys always ask me that?!” SinB asks, half-screamed.

”Why is it this time?” Umji asks again, flatly this time.

”Because oppa wanted to go out with her alone, but she doesn’t want to,” Sowon answered instead of SinB but the girl quickly correcting Sowon’s statement, ”I told oppa to meet us at the BBQ place but oppa doesn’t want to. And I kind of told her not to meet me...”

”Why do you guys fight so much nowadays? You haven’t gone out for months and yet you have at least had a fight once a week, and I always have to be the one reminding oppa to text you on the fourth day,” complained Umji while shaking her head frustratedly.

***

Yerin storms in into the quiet, dark office of Handyman Oppa. Probably this is not the first time she does that, the older woman doesn’t even flinch. Handyman Oppa looks up from the paper she was reading and takes off her glasses, staring blankly at Yerin. The two engage in a staring contest with Yerin staring angrily at Handyman Oppa while the oppa just stares vacantly at her. Seeing that the oppa doesn’t seem to understand the meaning behind Yerin’s stare, Yerin gives up and sits on the swivelling office chair that is on the outer side of Handyman Oppa’s messy desk.

”What the foot, oppa?!” Yerin starts the conversation rather harshly making Handyman Oppa blinks her eyes confusedly.

”What’s with my feet?” Handyman Oppa asks as she examines her feet.

”Why didn’t you come to the BBQ place last night?” Yerin cut to the chase and asks the woman across her straightforwardly because Handyman Oppa sometimes can be really slow that she wouldn’t get what she is saying.

”Oh. I told Yuju I can’t.” 

”Why? Because you want to see SinB only? Because she told you not to meet her, not to call her and not to text her?” Yerin asks angrily not because she badly needed the oppa to be there last night but because SinB was secretly expecting her to be and quietly disappointed when she didn’t show up.

”I had something to do yesterday. Couldn’t make it. And that too,” said Handyman Oppa nonchalantly.

”Yah! Oppa! You know her, you know she doesn’t mean that!” Yerin snaps and lost control of her voice that she has been trying to hold in so she wouldn’t be yelling at Handyman Oppa in her office in the university. Someone might hear them and cause a misunderstanding but she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

”Yerin-ah, I really couldn’t make it last night. I have something to do,” Handyman Oppa said in her still calm and composed demeanour. Yerin calms down too seeing the honesty in Handyman Oppa’s face.

”Oh, you are here alone? I thought you girls can’t go out alone without the members?” Handyman Oppa asks  based on her prior knowledge when SinB rejected her for a date the day before when Yerin seems to calm down a bit.

”Ahh. Yes, we are going back to our parents’ this weekend. And... I told manager oppa you are driving me home...do you mind?” Yerin stutters with the last part is almost inaudible.

Handyman Oppa nods her head and turns off her computer and laptop. She gathers her phone, wallet and watch that are lying around on her messy desk and stands up, ”shall we go then?”

”Eh...eh...no, no. We don’t need to rush. Is it okay for you to stay for dinner at my parents’? I kind of already told them about you driving me home and they insisted that you stay for dinner...” Yerin said nervously as she just gets a good look at Handyman Oppa’s face and the older woman looks tired.

”Sure. We’ll do everything you had laid out for me. Oh, am I staying the night? If I am, we need to stop by the convenience store to get me some underwear,” Handyman Oppa smiles at Yerin as she waits for her answer.

”I think omma will like you to,” Yerin said softly, a bit embarrassed with her unexpected intrusion in Handyman Oppa’s day.

Handyman Oppa just nods her head and smiles brightly making her eyes almost invisible. The older woman doesn’t usually smile that way, making her dimple more visible, her eyes almost gone and her whole being is radiating a cheerful instead of her usual charismatic, cold personality. Yerin follows Handyman Oppa to her car and gets into the passenger’s seat.

Yerin gets comfortable in the seat and buckles her seatbelt. Usually, Handyman Oppa will help buckle the seatbelt for anyone sitting in this seat but they decided that Yerin will do it herself given the situation they are in, fighting over SinB. Yerin was the one who voiced it out and although Handyman Oppa didn’t think it’s necessary, the woman just agreed to her request. Yerin just looks outside, fiddling with the bottom hem of her t-shirt. She has been wanting to talk to Handyman Oppa about something but she is hesitating a bit because she wanted to talk about her and SinB. She musters the courage to start the conversation and finally calls the woman who is focusing on driving with only one hand, while her other hand is dangling over her window.

”Oppa...” 

Handyman Oppa hums in respond to Yerin but the woman didn’t turn to look at Yerin making Yerin resorts back to sit silently. 

”Cat got your tongue?” Handyman Oppa asks after a few minutes of silence with her eyes still fixed on the road ahead of them and her right hand dangling over the window.

”What? Cat? Where is? Tongue?” Yerin asks, flustered by the woman’s sudden question breaking the eerie silence surrounding them.

”You. Spill it out. What is it?” Handyman Oppa sounded commanding rather than asking.

”Oppa...” Yerin calls the woman once again and Handyman Oppa still with the same posture just hums her respond.

”Have you ever feel like giving up?” Yerin asks and this time she turns around to face Handyman Oppa’s side to see the woman’s face.

”On...?” Handyman Oppa asks and this time she turns to her left and quickly glances at the now fidgeting girl.

”I’ve done so much things oppa. But still, I am not sure where do I stand in SinB’s life,” Yerin said showing great distress in her voice and expression.

Handyman Oppa breaths heavily, trying to formulate something to say so she could comfort her young friend. It is not particularly an easy topic for her too as she and Yerin are both in the same boat right now. So, Handyman Oppa asks instead of answering Yerin’s original question, ”what have you done? Do you think there are other things you can still do?”

The older woman’s question gets Yerin to think long and hard. She reflects on what she has done to show her love for SinB over these past few months. Not that she is complaining or regretting what she had done, it’s just tiring for her to wait and wonder if SinB likes them or not, if she managed to win her heart or not. SinB never asks her to stop doing what she was doing, like the breakfast for two, candlelight dinner, the foot rub, the goodnight and morning kiss, and sometimes going for a walk by the Han River. Especially after she got back from Indonesia and SinB got back from New York, the girl seemed to shower her with more attention and love.

Due to their packed schedules, there are times that SinB and her were so tired that the girl suggested that they skipped the breakfast and she gladly agreed. Of course, there are a few nights went by without the goodnight kiss on SinB’s forehead as they both fell asleep as soon as they got home. But, there was only once or twice that she failed to give SinB her good morning kiss when she woke up late and SinB already left for her schedule. SinB even gave her foot rubs twice saying that she wanted to repay her kindness which the girl doesn’t have to because she did all that out of her love for SinB. 

Although SinB had asked her and she already promised SinB that they will not kiss her on her lips until the girl gives her her answer, they both broke that promise a few times. The last one was on the first night she got back from Indonesia. She cooked SinB a simple fish dish, something that she learnt from the days she spent in the jungle. They had dinner in the kitchen and then hanged out in front of the TV when she showed SinB pictures she took when she was in the jungle. She wrote E & Y in a heart on the cave’s wall and took a picture of it but didn’t send it to SinB when they texted while she was still in Indonesia. There was also another picture, she wrote the same thing but on the beach, this is when she swam to an island to get some coconut for the group. After she showed that picture, they ended up staring at each other before leaning towards each other and engaged in a passionate, longing, deep kiss.

Sometimes Yerin felt like SinB is giving her the answer and it’s a yes, particularly the night they kissed for the last time. But, there are times that she felt like SinB is still unsure about her. SinB is still texting Handyman Oppa, that’s one of the things that is making her unsure about her place in SinB’s heart.

”You have proposed to her, didn’t you?” Handyman Oppa’s question caught Yerin off guard and she blatantly lie to the oppa’s face, ”no”.

”Oh? Didn’t you ask me about it before the event in Japan? It’s been months. And Yerin-ah, you do realise that your eyes and voice quiver when you lie,” Handyman Oppa chuckles seeing the girl blushed but couldn’t believe that Yerin still shamelessly lie to her again, ”I never lied to you, oppa.”

Handyman Oppa laughs out loud, ”cut the crap, let me refresh your memory - the mosquito bites.” 

Yerin immediately sits upright. A dart of panic suddenly fills her heart. She thought about it before but she just dismissed it thinking it doesn’t make sense that the woman would know. Now, the idea of Handyman Oppa is a psychic resurface in her mind.

”Wait, what are you talking about?” Yerin tries her best to remain calm and feign her incomprehension of the incident Handyman Oppa is referring to.

”Just how stupid do you take me, Yerin-ah? Both your lips were swollen and I told you that you are a terrible liar. You really should consider not telling me anything rather than lying to my face because I will surely catch it,” said Handyman Oppa surely but calmly.

Yerin sighs, knowing that blatantly lying to Handyman Oppa or faking her innocent is not an option any more. She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly, stuttering as she is confessing to Handyman Oppa who right now she is seeing as her best friend and not her rival, ”I did. The night we went out for samgyeopsal...”

Handyman Oppa smiles and nods her head as if she is thinking or acknowledging something to herself. Yerin waits for the older woman to say something and just sits silently. Guilt is slowly consuming her.

”I told you food is a must, right? So, how was it? And I don’t mean the samgyeopsal. I’m sure you loved them,” Handyman Oppa breaks the awkward silence with a slightly high-pitched voice exclaiming the importance of food in any proposal idea just like she told Yerin that night they hang out and brainstorming proposal ideas by the Han River.

”Yeah. But, I don’t suggest eating until you are full because it was so nervewracking and your stomach churns that you might throw up,” said Yerin in all honesty as she recalled her condition that night.

”Did you? I really hope you didn’t. That’s definitely going to ruin everything,” said Handyman Oppa casually, making Yerin feel a lot more comfortable to talk to the older woman about it.

At this time, the image of Handyman Oppa as someone fighting over the same girl as her totally vanished, she just sees the older woman as her best friend. Yerin lets out a hearty laugh when she saw the concerned look on Handyman Oppa’s face when she talked about one of her friend’s failed proposal because he threw up on his girlfriend while trying to ask her to marry him.

”Don’t worry, oppa. I didn’t. I did exactly what you suggested. It would be really bad if I did throw up after eating samgyeopsal!” Yerin and Handyman Oppa both laugh crazily and gagging when they think about it.

”But...she didn’t give her answer right away. Well...up until now, still no answer. It’s been months now. Do you think this is her answer?” Yerin suddenly stops laughing as she remembers the fact that she couldn’t call the proposal is a success because she still hasn’t got an answer.

”What do you mean this is her answer? You said she didn’t give an answer yet.” Handyman Oppa also stops laughing and instantly gets into her serious mode.

”I mean...it’s been months already and she still hasn’t given her answer. Probably this is her way of telling me...no? I’ve done a lot of things, oppa in the past few months. I did everything I could think of to show her how much she means to me and how much I love her. Yet, she still hasn’t said yes,” Yerin’s voice starts to break. She is on the verge of bursting into tears. She feels like giving up on waiting for SinB’s answer. 

”Are you giving up already?” Yerin nods her head weakly to Handyman Oppa’s question but then shakes her head in the same intensity, she can’t decide whether to give up or still trying and hoping.

”Which one do you think will be easier? Or harder?” Yerin asks and the woman doesn’t show any intention of responding, but she keeps waiting for Handyman Oppa to response.

Yerin only realised that they have arrived at her parents’ house when the car that has been slowing down for a while now comes to a complete stop. In front of her is the front door of her parents’ house and she can see that the door swings open. Her father is now standing at the front door, smiling and waving at them to come into the house.

Handyman Oppa unbuckles Yerin’s seatbelt and hers before shoots a warm smile at her. The woman tilted her head a bit gesturing her to get out of the car and goes to the man in his late fifties waiting for her at the door. 

”Aboenim,” Handyman Oppa smiles and greets the man who is hugging Yerin tightly.

”Appa,” the man said in a commanding voice and furrows his brow at Handyman Oppa.

”Ahh. Ne. Appa. Sorry I haven’t been visiting you lately,” Handyman Oppa bows politely but the man just pulls her into an assuring hug and pats her back softly. 

A woman who looks slightly younger than the man appears from the kitchen and smiles brightly at them. Yerin darted towards the woman and hugs her mother tightly. Handyman Oppa just smiles at the lovely sight. 

”Yeah! You are staying the night, aren’t you? Let’s go fishing after dinner,” a man who is just a year older than Handyman Oppa greets her cheerfully as soon as he gets to the living room.

”Oppa... I came home after a while and you didn’t even say hi to me but immediately ask D oppa to go fishing? You don’t love me anymore,” Yerin pouted at her older brother who just grinned at her, ruffling her hair.

The five of them enjoy the dinner Yerin’s mother prepared. They talked casually to each other while eating as Yerin’s family has considered Handyman Oppa like a family member. Both Yerin’s mother and father had asked her to call them ’omma’ and ’appa’, just like their children call them the first time they met. After dinner, Handyman Oppa and Yerin retire to the latter’s room to change. 

***

”Ohh...can you let SinB know I’m here and will spend the night?” Handyman Oppa asks Yerin for a favour as she takes the long-sleeve t-shirt the girl handed to her.

”No. Let her know yourself,” Yerin refuses and goes to the bathroom to shower. 

Handyman Oppa sighs and sits at the edge of Yerin’s bed. She stares at her phone and ever since SinB got angry at her, she hasn’t received any text or calls from her. As per their agreement when they had their first huge fight, she should let the girl cool down for a maximum of three days, and it’s only been one and a half days. So, she is contemplating whether she should tell the girl or not. Handyman Oppa is 100% sure the girl wouldn’t even read the text she sent to her when she’s mad, so texting SinB and let her know her whereabouts will be a waste of time. But then, if SinB finds out about it from someone else, she will be even more furious like she has committed a big sin.

After a few minutes of contemplating which will get her into trouble more, Handyman Oppa decided to call SinB. Just like she expected, the girl doesn’t pick up her call and it goes to voicemail. Handyman Oppa informs the girl that she drove Yerin home and the girl’s mother asked her to stay the night. She purposely left one tiny detail about her plan to go out fishing with Yerin’s brother because she thinks it’s not that important. 

”I’m going with you two,” said Yerin when Handyman Oppa and her oppa are getting ready to leave the house to go fishing causing the two to halt their steps.

”Shouldn’t you stay at home with appa and omma? Appa and omma miss you, little kiddo,” Yerin’s brother tries to persuade her little sister.

”I miss you too, oppa. But, you are going out fishing,” Yerin stubbornly dons her jacket and joins the two at the door.

Handyman Oppa exchanges look with the man and they shrug their shoulder. Knowing that Yerin is not going to let them go fishing without her, Handyman Oppa just gestures to the man to cancel their plan. The man sighs and the two puts their fishing rods by the door before joining the married couple in the living room. Yerin squeals happily and pulls her brother closer to snuggle with him. 

”You are all grown up, Yerin-ah. Why are you being like this?” Yerin just smiles, ignoring her brother’s rejection of getting affectionate with her.

They spend two good hours in front of the TV, chatting, joking, laughing while eating some fruits Yerin’s mother and Handyman Oppa prepares for them. Handyman Oppa is getting ready to sleep on the couch when everyone is already retired to their room. Although Yerin’s brother offered his room, she politely declined saying that she is going to leave in the morning so it will be easier for her to sleep on the couch. Yerin did offer her to sleep with her in the room which they both know that is just to be polite because they always shudder just at the thought of being alone together in a room for a whole night. 

”Oppa...” Yerin calls the older woman, looking straight at the woman who is now lying on the couch.

”Aish...yah, you scared the hell out of me!” Handyman Oppa half screamed as she was welcomed by Yerin’s stare when she opens her eyes to the girl’s calling.

Yerin pushes Handyman Oppa’s back forcing the woman to sit up and scoots to her right where her head originally lies on the couch only to get her head being squished by Yerin’s . 

”Yerin-ah, don’t sit on my head. Sit next to me. Are you awake? Are you sleepwalking?” Handyman Oppa waves her hand in front of Yerin’s face when the girl settled on the couch, sitting on her left.

”Oppa...which one do you think will be easier or harder...giving up or keep trying?” Yerin asks Handyman Oppa the same question she asked earlier but didn’t get an answer from the woman.

”Do you want to know which one is easier or which one is harder?” Handyman Oppa asks nonchalantly sneakily trying to make Yerin let it go as she thought Yerin had forgotten about her not answering the question this evening.

”Which one is better? Giving up or keep trying?” Yerin changes her question as she thinks Handyman Oppa might say both are equally easy and difficult.

”Better for what?” Handyman Oppa once again ask Yerin back instead of answering her.

”I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you. Right now, you are the only one who knows what I’m going through, and don’t act stupid. I know what you are trying to pull,” Yerin smacks the back of Handyman Oppa’s head.

Then they both sighs heavily. Acknowledging the heaviness of the topic they are discussing right now. Handyman Oppa absentmindedly scratches her neck and head trying to figure out what she should say. Once again she exhales deeply, Yerin follows suit. They both know they are probably feeling the same thing, that’s why they don’t dare to look at each other’s face.

”I don’t know which one is better. I don’t even know when is the time to give up. But keep trying is as much harder as it sounds and I think giving up is equally difficult. What do you feel? Feels like giving up?” Handyman Oppa asks, breaking the silence.

”I don’t know. I don’t feel like giving up but I’m tired to keep trying...I don’t know,” Yerin said lowly.

”I always ask myself this - will I regret if I stop trying? Will you?” Handyman Oppa looks up at the ceiling, sounded like she is asking herself rather than asking the girl next to her.

”I think I will. But, I don’t know what else can I do,” Yerin copied what Handyman Oppa was doing, staring blankly at the ceiling, sighing.

”Well, probably we should go for our last sprint and see how it goes?” Handyman Oppa blurted out something that even she doesn’t know if it makes sense.

Handyman Oppa is currently thinking of her own situation with SinB and not Yerin’s. But, they are both in the same situation. There is a slight difference though, Yerin has proposed to SinB and she hasn’t. And she doesn’t know if it’s the right time to propose to SinB because she wanted to tell everything about her to SinB before proposing.

She has always been ready to tell the young girl everything about her, but she worried if it’s going to cause a disturbance in SinB’s life and currently the girl is busy with her work. She doesn’t want to cause SinB to get distracted and affecting her work although she really doesn’t think a young girl like her should be working that hard. But then she also understands that performing is not just a ’work’ for SinB, that is her passion. And she vows to herself and SinB that she will give her utmost, undivided support until the end.

”What do you mean?” Yerin asks.

”I don’t know. Renew your proposal? Ask her again? Probably if you know what she is thinking or currently feel could give you the idea whether to keep trying or give up?” Handyman Oppa said what she has in mind without thinking if it would backfire at her.

”Oppa, what would you do if SinB says yes to me?” Yerin asks out of curiosity and for the first time today, she sees the woman as her rival.

”Stay the same,” Handyman Oppa answers confidently.

Yerin’s gaze now slowly moves from the ceiling to the woman slouching next to her. She cannot understand what the woman said although she said them in a plain, typical words and not in some complex words or terms she is not used to. What Handyman Oppa said and how she said it in such confidence striking a blow to her head and heart.

”What?” Handyman Oppa finally asks Yerin who has been staring at her for minutes now.

”What did you just say? And why? How?” Yerin asks, still awestruck by the woman’s response earlier.

”Stay the same. Aih, don’t worry. I’ll respect your relationship and the boundary. I won’t say to her I love you every day.” 

”No. That’s not what I mean. I know you won’t do that and even if you try to, I’ll beat you to it. And I am really going to beat you if you do that. Try and let’s see what’s going to happen,” Yerin clenched her fist and shows it to Handyman Oppa.

”Shouldn’t you get her to be your girlfriend first before threatening me?” 

Handyman Oppa’s question immediately brings Yerin back to reality. She thinks about the uncertainty of her relationship with SinB but still couldn’t do anything about it. Hence, she resorted to asking Handyman Oppa more about what the woman said just now, ”how are you planning to stay the same? Don’t you love her, oppa?” 

”With all of my heart. I love her and that’s the sole reason why I’m staying the same. You might not understand how or why. Probably because she is your first love? I don’t know. But for me, she is my last love. So, I’m going to stay the same. My love for her will always get stronger but never fades, still the same.” 

Although the living room is only lit by the moon through the kitchen’s window, but Yerin can still clearly see Handyman Oppa’s facial expression. The woman’s smile is a happy smile of a person in love, her eyes sparkle and her voice is so calm and dreamingly, just like hers when she talks about SinB. Clearly Handyman Oppa is in love with SinB.

”You really love her, don’t you?” Yerin asks, trying her best not to sound beaten down but she forgets that she is talking to Handyman Oppa who picks up even the slightest change in people.

”You love her too. Don’t find yourself regretting yourself for letting your love go without a fight. And even if the person you love is not meant for you, never get beaten down by it. Cherish the love because you were given the chance to found them and fall in love with them. That’s life, finds the good thing in everything, you’ll survive life if you can do that.” 

Slowly, tears trickle down Yerin’s cheeks. It is so wrong right now for her to be cheered up by her rival but it feels right at the same time. She didn’t know when but she and Handyman Oppa had grown closer that most of the times the woman is just her friend, not her rival. Not just any friend, more than a friend, more like a family to her. She is someone that Yerin can share her worries, her stupidity, her pettiness, her happiness and Handyman Oppa accepted her with open arms. She can seek advice from the woman about everything, about relationship, work, friendship, life, and even fashion. Yes, the woman might not seem like it but she does have an eye for fashion. She always says the clothes look beautiful on her but it’s probably because they are but when something really awful, she will gag and that’s how she knew that’s really hideous.

And through their encounters throughout these months, she learns a lot of things from Handyman Oppa. The woman always support her and she got her realised her self worth and be confident with herself. Despite knowing their feelings towards the same girl, Handyman Oppa still supports her and even teaches her to become a better person for SinB. She really admires the woman slouching next to her and is dozing off? Yerin smacks Handyman Oppa’s arm, startling the woman.

”Yah! Oppa! I was admiring you and you are dozing off?” 

Handyman Oppa just grins at Yerin and yawn. Unexpectedly, the older woman pouted and cutely says, ”oppa is sleepy, let’s sleep Yeyin-ah...” When Handyman Oppa starts resting her head on Yerin’s shoulder and rubs it against her shoulder, Yerin jumps off the couch while shoving the woman’s head back really hard. 

***

Yerin quickly jumps into the shower as soon as they got back to the house their company rented for three days for them to stay and shoot the music video of Gfriend’s upcoming comeback song. This is their first night here and Yerin couldn’t wait any longer to execute her plan, or mission to renew her proposal to SinB. As usual, after her talk with Handyman Oppa a few days ago, she always follows the woman’s advice. 

She did plan to propose to SinB again but she has no specific plan on how to. When they were in between shootings today, she got around the house and the place they were shooting to get some ideas. The house has a backyard and she decided to renew her proposal there because the scenery is beautiful and it’s not too far as the place of the shooting which is more picturesque and befitting for a romantic proposal. Since this is not a new proposal, Yerin didn’t get a new ring for SinB. She just wanted to confess her love for SinB again and tell her how much she means to her life, then asks SinB again to be her girlfriend. 

After rehearsing her line hundred of times while showering, Yerin is confident enough and gets out of the shower. Well, to be exact, because Sowon keeps pounding on the door asking her to finish showering so she could use the bathroom. Luckily the house has two bathrooms and the younger girls except for Eunha are using the other bathroom.

Yerin went to the other bedroom that SinB, Yuju and Umji are using to see if the love of her life had already shower and changed into comfortable clothes. As if the heaven is on her side tonight, she found SinB lying on the bed playing on her phone still hasn’t showered.

”SinB...” Yerin calls the girl and sits on the bed next to the girl’s leg.

Yerin gingerly massages SinB’s leg like she always does. SinB hums her response before putting down her phone on the bed and looks at Yerin, smiling at her with her infamous charming smile that melted Yerin’s heart every single time she does it.

”You already showered?” SinB asks, gently removing Yerin’s hand off her leg. Yerin nods her head and looks at SinB, puzzled with the girl’s action. Understanding Yerin’s quizzical stares, SinB smiles and say, ”I haven’t showered, and you have, they are a bit dirty then.”

Yerin shakes her head, and starts massaging SinB’s leg again. And being as stubborn as Yerin, SinB holds the older girl’s hand and remove it from her leg. Yerin doesn’t want to give up, puts her hand on the younger girl’s leg again and SinB responded in the same way. 

”SinB, would you like to join me stargazing tonight in the backyard?” Yerin asks, finally giving up on massaging SinB’s legs.

”Okay. I’ll shower and change first.” 

”Okay, take your time. I’ll wait in the living room.” 

Yerin leaves SinB when Umji gets out of the shower and the girl is getting ready to shower. She originally wanted to ask SinB if she brings the ring she gave her when she proposed with her, but it doesn’t seem right. So, Yerin goes straight to the kitchen trying to find if there is something that looks like a ring that she can use. There are water bottles, and there are rings but all of them are too big that she could wear them on her big toe. Not romantic. Yerin rummages the fridge and kitchen to find something else and she found a can of alcoholic beverage. She thinks long and hard if that is appropriate for her to use the ring tab from an alcoholic drink but then she heard SinB is calling her. So, she quickly pulls the ring tab and takes it out, before slides it into her pocket and place the can in the fridge. 

”Shall we?” Yerin appears from the kitchen and offers her arm to SinB who is already waiting for her in the living room. 

Yerin has already prepared a mat by the sliding door leading to the backyard this evening when she scouted the place. She even picked out some flowers when they were at the other shooting location and put them with the mat. Yerin smiles proudly as SinB clings her hand on her arm as they are ready to go out.

”Where are you two going?” Sowon who just came out of the room asks them.

”Oh, we are just going to the backyard for stargazing, unnie,” said Yerin to Sowon who is already sitting on the couch and joined by her lovely bunny, Eunha.

”Wear your jacket, it’s a bit chilly outside,” commanded Sowon.

Yerin nods her head and tells SinB to wait for her while she gets their jackets. Yerin goes into the room she is using with Sowon and Eunha and grabs her jacket and a blanket. Then she goes to the other room for SinB’s jacket. She puts on SinB’s jacket on the girl and excuses herself and SinB before leaving Sowon and Eunha in the living room. 

The summer night’s sky is bright with millions of stars scattered all over it. Yerin takes the mat she had prepared earlier and lay it on the grass in the middle of the backyard. She asks SinB to sit while she gets the flowers she gathered this evening. Yerin smiles at SinB and hands them to the girl who accepted with a surprised but happy smile.

”I wanted to do this with you by the Han River but couldn’t because of the people. Sorry I could only do this when we are here for work,” said Yerin as she stares into the night sky.

”We’ve been there a few times already. Don’t worry, it’s better this way. You know you can buy a star and named it?” SinB tries to starts a conversation while staring at the starry night sky.

”Hmm.” I know, I’m sorry I can’t afford to do that just yet, SinB. I’ll do it as soon as I can and named it ’SinB my love’. Yerin hums and gently interlaced her fingers with SinB’s.

Yerin is mustering her courage and it helps that SinB grips her fingers back. It is uncanny that SinB is the source of her energy while she is also the reason why she is so messed up trying everything she can while waiting for her answer. SinB is the reason she is sitting here outside stargazing in this chilly, yet beautiful night. 

C’mon Yerin, spit it out. You already rehearse everything. Wait, I am talking to myself in my mind right? Why does it always in oppa’s voice when it’s telling me to do what I’m supposed to do? Because you are kind of hopeless without me. Yah, oppa! Stop intruding my pep talk.

Yerin pep talked herself in her mind, encouraging her to starts the conversation flowing and propose to the girl who is holding her heart prisoners. 

I’m sorry Gfriend’s songs lyricists and composers, I’m still lacking in the creative juice. So, I’ll be using your lyrics to confess my feelings to my girl and propose to her for the second time. I promise the next time I’m proposing, I’ll do it myself. Wait, the next time? No. No. I really hope I don’t have to do it again. Well, in that case, you better not screw this one up, Jung Yerin! Yah, oppa! I know that, you don’t have to tell me that. Gee... Araso, I’ll let you do it then. 

”Ahem!” Yerin clears , getting ready to start pouring her heart’s content.

”Are you okay? Did you catch a cold? Want to go back inside? I’ll get you some water,” SinB asks worriedly upon hearing Yerin’s clearing since today was a bit hot, and now they are out here that is a bit cold, so one can easily get sick.

”No, it’s okay. I’m okay. This is nice, isn’t it?” Yerin starts the conversation and SinB just hums as a response while shooting a dazzling smile at her, making her doze off into a dreamland with SinB.

Yah! Are you going to let her freeze to death, only then you are going to start proposing?

Once again Handyman Oppa’s voice in Yerin’s head urging her to do what she was supposed to do. This unwanted but much-needed prompt snapped Yerin’s dreamland imagination and brings her back to reality. Yerin once again clears before taking SinB’s hands and hold them tight. Yerin turns around to look at SinB who tries to turn and face her too, but she told SinB she can stare at the sky without looking at her.

”SinB...today...em...I...well...there’s no words can describe my heart, uhm..my mind. I feel good today. Heh. The breeze is nice, isn’t it? It feels good, especially today. It’s a bit hot today, but the sky was clear and beautiful. We were holding hands and walking on the road filled with flowers. I am with you. If you listen to your faith in me, you can heard it from everywhere. I can,  and I hope you can hear it too. Let me tell you something precious. I keep thinking about you all this while especially today. I will never forget your voice, your eyes that twinkle, I was really excited, I feel like I’m dreaming. You. You are the only one my eyes see. I have something to tell you, SinB...I wish I could sent my message through the clouds. You made my heart beating like crazy, SinB-ah...I want to run on the road filled with flowers with you SinB. Today, I’m really telling you with all my heart. Hwang Eunbi, SinB, the moment I first met you, I lost all my strength. I couldn’t even speak, like I was a child. I think I’m missing something...It hurts my head thinking about it, what can I do? Well, I think that you is the one I was looking for - my other half. Just thinking about it, makes me smile, laughing and space out like a fool. Just like how I did just now. Feels like I’m all grown up, I’m not my self. All because my other half...you. I’m being pulled to you. Even if one might not think so, I think we are each other’s halves. It is. We are. Because you took half of me. The more I get to know you, the more I see it. Believe in it. Maybe we are already one in each other’s hearts. I think we are being pulled to each other. I’m sure you feel the same way. I don’t know how to explain this, but it is. I...I can’t hide it anymore. My heart...it’s...it’s of you and me. My heart is half of your heart. I want our heart to become one. We are each other’s halves...” 

Yerin stops for a while to catch a breath and her lips are beginning to dry from reciting the lyrics of their new song, Love Whisper and One-half with a few changes here and there. Yerin takes a deep breath and takes out the can’s ring tab that she puts in her pocket. She slowly turns SinB’s body so they can face each other.

”SinB, I know I’ve told you this before and asked you this before. I love you. You are my other half. Will you be my girlfriend?” with confidence, Yerin proposes to SinB while looking straight into SinB’s eyes as she holds out the ring tab to the girl.

SinB replies Yerin’s smile with a loving, angelic smile. Slowly, the girl nods her head and held out her right hand to Yerin, saying in her softest and most alluring voice, ”yes”.

Yerin freezes for a moment, letting SinB’s hand dangling in the air. This is what she wanted to hear from SinB but she didn’t expect she would get to hear it tonight. Flustered by SinB’s answer, Yerin drops the ring tab she had in her hand. It made it worse when SinB flails her hand that is getting tired and sore as it was kept hanging in the air while waiting Yerin to come to her senses. Yerin finally manage to pick up the ring tab and tries to slide it in SinB’s ring finger but obviously it doesn’t fit because it’s too small. 

”I don’t think it fits,” Yerin had to state the obvious and SinB just sighs frustratedly.

”Wait... I have something else. It will fit, wait...” Yerin nervously throws the ring tab away and fishes something from her pocket. 

Yerin holds up her hair tie and smiles proudly. She made a double loop and slides it into SinB’s ring finger. Surely it fits, it’s elastic. The problem is, it’s too tight when she double looped it, and SinB’s finger is turning blue as it constricted the blood flow.

”I’ll lose my finger like this,” SinB looks at her now blue and cold ring finger.

”No, no, no. I’ll take it out, I’ll take it out!” Yerin is getting flustered again once she sees her girlfriend’s finger.

SinB smiles at the sight of Yerin flustered. She shakes her head a few times while letting Yerin taking off the plastic hair tie that wraps around her finger. Yerin then proceeds to massage her finger and nervously blows at the now cold finger, trying to let the blood flows normally. She slowly slides her left hand in her pocket and takes out a small velvet box. She hands the box containing the ring Yerin gave her the first time she proposed to her a few months ago.

”Here. I’m sure this one fits perfectly.” 

Yerin blushes at the sight of the ring in the box SinB just handed to her. Yerin takes out the ring and puts it in SinB’s right ring finger. She kisses the girl’s fingers lovingly. Then, Yerin pulls SinB into a hug, stealing a peck on the side of the girl’s face. Yerin couldn’t help but smile happily as SinB is finally her girlfriend. Her other half is finally hers. 

”I love you, SinB.” Yerin whispers in SinB’s ears while still holding the girl close to her.

And for the first time, SinB whispers back to Yerin, ”I love you, Yerin.”

They stayed in each other’s warm embrace for a few minutes before Yerin pull away and stares longingly at SinB. The moment she has been waiting for is finally here and it feels surreal. Her face probably going to sore tonight because the smile never wears off. Her heart skips a beat when SinB smiles at her while caressing the side of her face. Yerin leans closer to SinB’s face slowly.

”May I?” Yerin asks when lips are just inches away from SinB’s.

SinB smiles and nods her head slowly before closing her eyes and tilts her head opposite to Yerin’s. Their lips touched one another and immediately an electric shock shoots at both of them. This is not their first kiss but it is the softest, loving and most memorable kiss for them. This is their first kiss as a couple. It’s not passionate, full of lust but it’s full of love and hopes. They parted their lips and easily their lips secured one another. After a minute of devouring each other’s lips, scents and breaths, they pull away and smiles at one another. Yerin gives a chaste kiss on SinB’s lips and then pull the girl up.

”Let’s go inside, I don’t want my girlfriend to catch a cold,” Yerin said as she pulls SinB’s right hand and interlaced their finger before putting their hands in her jacket pocket. They grasp each other’s fingers, Yerin’s smiles broaden when her fingers touch the ring on SinB’s finger. Yerin leads her girlfriend into the house with a happy smile on her face.

***

”Where is oppa?” Eunha asks the two who just walked into the house via the sliding door.

”Huh? Oppa? Manager oppa?” Yerin asks Eunha back, not knowing who her friend is referring to.

”No. Oppa-oppa, D oppa. I ask oppa to go and get you like...ten minutes ago. She brought pizza and I send her to get you two so we can start eating the pizza. Didn’t you two see her?” Eunha explains and looks perplexed. Surprisingly, the three of them wear the same expression right now.

”She can’t be lost, can’t she? If she is, she’s way more hopeless than Yuju. All she had to do was walk around the house and she’ll surely see the backyard,” mutters Sowon.

”I’ll go and find oppa,” Umji volunteers and quickly walks to the front door. She grabs her jacket on her way out fearing she might be out for a while.

Yerin and SinB are still taken aback by the new information they just heard. Seeing the two are still frozen, while Sowon and Yuju don’t show any interest to enlighten the two about Handyman Oppa’s sudden appearance, Eunha kindly explains to the two.

”Oppa asks the manager where are we staying and she called when she was getting the pizzas to ask what we want. She said she wanted to suprise us. And sorry we didn’t wait for you three before started eating the pizza. They were getting cold.”

***

Umji instantly found Handyman Oppa in her car that she parked near their van when she steps outside of the house. The older woman looks like she is talking on her phone, so Umji decides to go to the car instead of calling her from afar. Seeing the woman is not aware of her coming towards the car, Umji knocks on the driver’s seat’s window when she finally gets to the car. Handyman Oppa waves at her and gestures for her to get into the car. Just before she opens the door, Umji sees Handyman Oppa ends the call.

”Did you get lost, oppa?” Umji asks, shooting a jovial smile at the older woman.

”Ahh. No. I had to take the call before I could get them. Did they come in yet? Sorry I didn’t let you girls know.” Handyman Oppa smiles apologetically to the youngest of the six members of Gfriend.

”Ahh. Ne. They just came in and we thought you got lost when you didn’t come in with them. Important call?” Umji asks as she rubs her hands together to warm them up.

”Ne. Uhh, do you want to follow me to the town? I’m kind of hungry. And want some rice...” Handyman Oppa starts the car’s engine and turns on the heater for Umji.

”Sure. Let’s tell them first... Just in time. Eunha unnie is calling me. Hello.” Umji answers her phone and put it on speaker.

”Did you get lost too, Umji-yah?” 

”No. I found oppa in the car. She got to take a call. And right now, we are driving to town.” Umji said happily, chuckling a bit.

”Whaaat? Oppa! Are you kidnapping my baby Umji?” Eunha asks as if knowing that they are on speaker.

”I’m hungry. Going to look for some food,” said Handyman Oppa after letting out a hearty laugh upon hearing Eunha’s groundless, wild accusation.

”Yah! Oppa! You brought pizza. Where are you going?” Sowon’s high pitched voice fills the car, piercing both Handyman Oppa and Umji’s ears.

”I’m going to the town. I’m hungry. Going to get something with rice,” Handyman Oppa calmly explains with her eyes focus on the dim road in front of them.

”Oh? Then, can you get us something too? Girls, what do you want?” Sowon who was just scolding the older woman and pointed out that there are pizzas at home, sounded happier than before starting taking orders from the other girls.

”Just get some jjajangmyeon for us. And sweet and sour chicken. And some dakbal.” 

Handyman Oppa and Umji exchange look with each other before laughing. It seems like the girls are as hungry as Handyman Oppa. Umji repeats the order for them to confirm and adds two other things for her and Handyman Oppa when Sowon and Yuju asked them what they want.

”Oppa, you are not leaving for Seoul tonight, right? The call you took, it’s not something important, right?” Eunha asks and seeing how Handyman Oppa didn’t respond, she half-screamed at the phone, ”you, don’t you dare drive back this late at night. I don’t care whatever it is, postponed it. You are staying the night. You got me, oppa?!” 

”Ne. Got it.” Handyman Oppa says in defeat, nothing she could say to make Eunha change her mind when she is already in that voice.

Umji ends the call when Handyman Oppa parks her car in front of a Chinese restaurant. Since she doesn’t apply any makeups or have a mask to wear, she decided to stay in the car and let the older woman goes to the restaurant alone. A few minutes later, Handyman Oppa gets back into the car to wait for their foods with Umji. She knew the older woman wouldn’t leave her alone in the car. Handyman Oppa even calls her while she was in the restaurant, not wanting to leave her alone.

”Are you preparing for something, oppa?” Umji asks as the woman gets comfortable in the driver’s seat.

”Huh?” Handyman Oppa asks as she follows Umji’s pouted lips direction - the backseat.

”Are you planning something tonight, oppa? I’ve seen the guitar in your office but I never see you play it, not once.” Umji clarifies her question.

”Ahh. I just get it from the shop, I sent it for some maintenance.” Handyman Oppa says it cooly as she caresses the acoustic guitar.

”Oppa...I think something happened between Yerin and SinB just now when they were stargazing in the backyard. Did you see anything or heard anything when you went to get them?” Umji asks as she folds Handyman Oppa’s shirt’s sleeves that the woman just pull up messily.

”I just spotted them, then my phone rang and I had to take the call. Why did you say that?” Handyman Oppa, an expert liar just blatantly lie to the younger girl’s face which currently fixated on her sleeves, making it more easier for her lie to get undetected.

”They seem different when they got back in the house. I told you they had changed after the samgyeopsal date. And this time, they are definitely, like ten-fold different than the last time. Their faces are brighter and happier like something good happened, you’ll see what I meant when we got to the house,” Umji says confidently.

”Ohh. Sure, you can point to me later. And you should show me immediately after we got there. I’m hungry and sleepy. I might fell asleep and I’m leaving for Seoul early in the morning tomorrow.” 

Umji nods her head agreeing with Handyman Oppa’s suggestion and smiles proudly looking at now neatly folded sleeves. She could never understand how people could just pull up their sleeves and be done with it.

”Thank you, baby.” Handyman Oppa mutters her thank you in her charming voice causing Umji to blush and look away like most girls would. 

”You are such a flirt, oppa!” Umji said under her breath and they both laugh their heart out.