"What's your plan?" Wonwoo asked Mingyu one night. It had been almost a week since Mingyu had told Joshua's story and he hadn't cheered up much. He was so worried and stressed and it was taking a toll on just about everything; his job, his friendships, his relationship. Wonwoo understood why now. Mingyu didn't want to give Joshua a reason to stand up on that building ever again but telling him about Jeonghan's relationship with Seungcheol could push him to that and he obviously wasn't prepared to face that trauma.

Wonwoo still didn't know why Joshua was like that in the first place; sensitive and easily wounded. Mingyu had said he had had a difficult past. It must've been awful, Wonwoo thought.

"Well, I know I've got to tell him before he gets even more attached. I just don't know how." Mingyu had his arm round his boyfriend who had some papers from work to complete, homework if you must. Wonwoo had been swamped in it. The editing company had a sudden swarm of popularity which completely stunned the employees. Since there wasn't enough workers for the new amounts of work Wonwoo had to take home a lot of the articles instead. It meant he had to spend more time with a pen in his hand or his eyes glued to his laptop screen rather than spending time with Mingyu but it couldnt be helped.

"Invite him over sometime. Ease him into it." Wonwoo suggested.

"I guess that's the best option for now."

They both went quiet so that Wonwoo's pen scratching against paper was the only sound in the room. He felt his eyes grow tired and heavy like an invisible force was pulling down on his eyelashes. He stopped writing and curled up on Mingyu's chest who thread his hands into his hair. Wonwoo wanted that to last for as long as possible, forever maybe, because he missed giving all his time to his little (or absolutely enormous, in Mingyu's case) miracle.

"This is crazy." Mingyu mumbled all of a sudden.

"What do you mean?"

"It's insane that I'm here, sitting on a sofa with the most magnificent human I have ever come to meet, with my hands in his hair thinking about how much I adore him. So many horrible things are happening outside these walls but somehow, whenever I'm with you, you make everything so much more bearable."

Wonwoo nuzzled his cheek closer to Mingyu's chest and wrapped an arm around his waist. He smiled and it was so beautiful and genuine and told a story of bubbled love and obnoxious joy.

"Are you happy?" Wonwoo asked because that's all that he needed right now to make this moment perfect.

"Truthfully, no. I'm not happy because I'm so worried about Joshua and I feel like being happy would be insulting to him."

Wonwoo dropped his smile but continued to listen.

"But you make that easier to deal with and if Joshua being hurt wasn't an issue right now I would most definitely be the happiest man alive."

Wonwoo understood. Mingyu was right, no one could be happy when their friend is in a state such as Joshua's.

"I'm going to go to sleep since I have to get up early tomorrow. If you're gonna give me a lift to work you should come to bed too." The two had spent their week at Wonwoo's since it was closer to his companies building. Mingyu had given him a lift into work everyday then went to SVTea. It meant he had to move his shift to start an hour later than usual but he said that he didn't mind.

Mingyu slept with Wonwoo in his arms like he always did. It's what cheered him up and kept him sane. He didn't know what he would do without him.

The next few days were hell on Earth to say the least. Wonwoo was stressed but not nearly as much as his boyfriend. His workload increased drastically and he ended up working extra hours and walking home rather than getting a lift from Mingyu who had been constantly worrying for his friend.

The two were drifting apart and that was very clear. At one point Mingyu decided he wanted to go back to his apartment to spend some time alone. That hurt Wonwoo but he knew it was for the best so he took a taxi to the companies building every morning instead. Now they just video called each evening so they wouldn't lose their spark. It's hard to live your life with the person you love if everything else is crumbling down around you.

It was a Monday night when the darkness visited Wonwoo again. Monday's have always been an annoyance to him and he's pretty sure many people could relate but that Monday in particular was the worst. It had been so long since he'd been low, 10 and a half months to be exact- the same amount of time he had been dating Mingyu who always seemed to scare his bad thoughts away but Mingyu wasn't there and he was left to fend for himself.

They hadn't video called that afternoon or the day before that, and the day before that one too. Mingyu had said he was "sorting things out once and for all," it was about time too.

Wonwoo was writing a short article as an example for a new employee on his bed surrounded by sticky notes and sheets of paper. He was a hard worker, it took his mind of the fact he was alone in his dreary apartment.

But for some ridiculous reason Wonwoo had managed to convince himself that him and Mingyu hadn't spoke recently because Mingyu had gotten bored of him. Whether that was true or not he couldn't help but believe it and, oh boy, did it make him feel worthless.

He gave up writing and let out an exasperated sigh. It was one of those moments where he couldn't move or more so didnt want to, so he just sat and stared at a crease in his bedcovers feeling empty like a crushed can of cola at the side of the road or a soulless shell of a car at the dump. It wasn't pleasant, in fact, it was rather scary. Then a horrifically depressing feeling hit him hard. It crept up his back like a spindly black hand detatched from it's living body. Bones stuck out at every joint and dug into his skin as it got a grip on his neck. He couldn't breath.

Wonwoo stood up from his bed and moped towards his bathroom where he splashed his face with cold water hoping that maybe it would wash away the feelings or drown out the thoughts. It didn't. He had to deal with it just like he had done all those years before he met Mingyu.

Like a soldier, he grit his teeth and bared through the battle- the wounds he obtained were gruesome. He backed out though, like the chicken he was, and text his boyfriend praying that he would help.

Me:
i miss you

Mingyu☕:
I know... :(

Me:
please come over :(

Mingyu☕:
should i call you?

Me:
can you come here? i really
need you

Mingyu☕:
its nearly midnight baby 💓

Me:
thats never stopped you before

Mingyu☕:
im tired, wonwoo. dont do
this to me

Me:
then you can sleep here

Mingyu☕:
i want to stay at home

Me:
can i come to yours?

Mingyu☕:
just leave me alone for a little
bit wonu. i promise ill come
tomorrow 💞

Me:
but i wanna see you now. i
feel like crap and you always
fix that

Mingyu☕:
well i feel like crap too and i
dont feel like coming round

Me:
lets feel like crap together. come
over...please

Mingyu☕:
stop being so clingy. i want to be
alone!

Me:
alright. ok. im sorry

Wonwoo starred at the screen. He'd made a mistake and now he only felt worse. He shouldn't have been so pushy and desperate now Mingyu would only find him even more annoying. How embarrassing.

At least he knew now that he was most definitely alone for the night.

-

Mingyu didn't visit the next day as he promised. Wonwoo knew it was all because of how he acted the night before and he told himself to never ask Mingyu to come over again and let him make that choice by himself.

He took a taxi to work and sat at his desk for the whole day, blank faced and empty and overall annoyed with himself.

He tried texting Soonyoung at some point to take his mind off things but he said he was out with Jihoon and couldn't talk. This usually wouldn't bother Wonwoo at all but for some reason he assumed that Soonyoung didn't want to talk to him either and was therefore making up an excuse. His thought processes when he was low were utterly ridiculous and quite frankly very over dramatic but it was something he couldn't really control.

Seohyun tapped him on the shoulder with her skinny finger as he was furiously typing on his desk computer. He turned around and watched her sign. "Your shift has ended, you know, you can go home now."

Wonwoo shook his head and smiled gently "I think I'm going to stay a bit longer just to finish some extra work in advance."

Seohyun was sceptical, that was very clear, but left him to do what he needed to do. She could tell he was down about something and only wanted to stay late to avoid that something at home but it wasn't her place to snoop so she let it be.

It had long gone dark by the time Wonwoo packed away the clutter on his desk and left the building. He walked home at an hour where only stray cats and night time breezes could be heared (by anyone except from him, of course). The wind was cruel to his cheeks and nose that turned rose red in the cold. He withstood it though and managed to avoid snuggling his nose into his scarf, he had began to believe that the negative feelings that kept coming back were beginning to make him stronger. He was getting used to feeling pain. Soon he could be a hollow man that would only wince if you kicked him and grimace at a knife to the chest but nothing more because he has most definitely felt worse.

He thought that maybe he was getting used to being without Mingyu too because that night as he slept the other side of the bed didn't feel as cold and empty. That thought was easily dismissed by the missing half of his heart, however, that beat off tune without it's lover.

They didn't call that night for the fourth night in a row because Wonwoo was too scared to ask incase he became annoying. He wondered before he drifted off what Mingyu was doing right at that moment and whether he was missing him too.

-

A text woke Wonwoo up in the morning.

Mingyu☕:
sorry

He didn't know how to reply or even whether he wanted to or not. Would he just make things worse?

Me:
its ok.

Mingyu☕:
no, its not. you needed me and
i wasn't there, thats never ok.

Me:
no, really. im fine now. it
doesnt matter anymore

Mingyu☕:
should i come over??

Me:
if you want to

Mingyu☕:
how about i stay over on the
weekend?
i miss you baby 💞💞💞

Me:
i miss you too

Mingyu☕:
i dont want to spend anymore
time away from you after this.
i've thought everything through
and i'm going to talk to josh and
get it all over and done with. then
we wont have to worry or be sad.

Me:
thats really really great. i cant
wait to see you again.

Mingyu☕:
me too. have a good day at
work wonu. i love you and
only you 💞💞

Me:
so gross

Mingyu☕:
i know 😉❤

You know that feeling when you've been worrying for so long about something small or irrelevant and you know that you need to stop getting stressed over it but for some stupid reason you can't and it's stuck in your head but then something wonderful happens and that feeling slips to the ground and through the floor and it's truly exhilerating? That's exactly how Wonwoo felt. He sighed in relief and cursed Mingyu under his breath for putting him through that.

He got in a taxi knowing that after that week is over he would be back in Mingyu's car. He spent the day smiling again for the first time in a week or so, completely oblivious to the nightmares his future held...

-

a/n: I'm so excited to show you the next chapter.

A few tips for understanding parts of the story: (reading this is optional lol)

-(SPOILER KIND OF) The books they read together foreshadow things (Remember that book they read at the library? Remember what it was about? Please don't kill me)

-Pay attention to this Chapter's title and how it links to the next chapter hwn it's out (I proud of this. Don't shush me).

-Wonwoo doesn't know he has a mild case of depression and calls it a 'low' (Just incase you have ever wondered)

-Joshua's past (not mentioning details) made him believe rejection meant he was not good enough. He was damaged and has felt extremely self-depriciating even before Mingyu rejected him.

What do you think might happen next? Commen below!

I hope you liked the chapter!!

Have a good day :)