Yerin didn’t go to her mother like what she said. It was obvious even to SinB that she only made that up as an excuse to leave. She wasn’t actually sure where she was headed to, all she knew was that, she wanted to be alone where she could peacefully reflect about what she really felt and why she was feeling that way.

She was hurt. She knew she was unexpectedly hurt. The moment she heard who was waiting for them SinB, she felt her heart stinging as it slowly sank because of pain. She was afraid her eyes might’ve showed formation of tears because she was sure that when she entered the company car, her vision was already blurry.

The car halted in the middle of somewhere she wasn’t sure she knew of. It didn’t matter to her because she actually liked the place. She was surrounded by tall trees and there were only few cars passing by. It made her calm. She decided to stay there for a while so she parked the car properly.

When she was about to get out, snowflakes started to softly appear and aesthetically covered the windshield in front of her. ‘First snowfall.’ She thought. Due to the happenings, she didn’t realize that winter had already arrived in Korea. Her expression softened as she finally stepped out of the car. ‘SinB always loved to go to the rooftop when this day comes—’  She stopped moving and sighed. She was thinking about SinB again. ‘Why am I feeling like this?’ She asked herself and leaned against the car. ‘Why am I disappointed that it’s not me she’s with during the first snowfall? She’s with Umji, with her girlfriend. Of course they should be together. They must’ve missed each other.’ Her heart ached once again. She let out a short sarcastic laugh and fiddled with her fingers. Then she remembered, SinB was keeping her warm earlier, keeping those fingers warm earlier. The pain she felt only doubled. She was jealous, there’s no denying to it.

She looked down and puffed her cheeks. “I like her…”  She sighed before looking up once again. “How did this happen?” She asked herself.

---

It was already past midnight when Yerin reached their house. She was thinking that she’d be alone there for the night since SinB probably would stay in their room in the company. She actually preferred that, she was alone and she had more time to think about what she would do regarding her feelings. She knew it, starting from this day, it’d be hard for her. It’d be hard for her to interact casually with SinB and play with the younger girl after realizing her true feelings. She’s her wife and it was so ironic because she couldn’t do what usually wives do. Yes, she’s her wife but she was never hers. And that, that was what made the pain harder to bear.

She wanted her feelings to vanish. She could never have SinB anyway. She had no right to have SinB. In the first place, they only both had an agreement and it actually worked. It worked before but everything started to change after that kiss. That kiss that caused her to be awakened from something she never thought existed. Maybe that kiss brought her sleeping feelings for the girl, feelings for so long already.

Their agreement was really doing fine, SinB has a girlfriend and she had Yuju before too. Upon remembering the ex-girlfriend, she felt her heart stinging. The pain Yuju caused hadn’t vanished totally yet but it was not as hurtful as before. And it was not as hurtful as knowing the fact that SinB was taken and will never be hers.

She could not stop thinking, why does she feel so much for SinB in the past weeks? How on earth did that happen when few weeks before she was just trying to move on from the pain she had? Then she thought that maybe, she had already developed feelings for the younger girl before and was only not acknowledged because of the presence of her ex-girlfriend or she was just too dumb to not realize it.

She opened the front door and reached for the light’s switch only to realize that the lights were already on. ‘She’s home?’ She took off her shoes and silently walked inside, observing if someone was really with her. She made herself alert as she tiptoed to the kitchen.

“Unnie?” A sudden voice behind her made her squeal in shock. She quickly stood straight and turned around to face the owner of the voice. She knew her face was already red because of embarrassment but she didn’t mind thinking the dim lights will help her conceal it. “Why are you tiptoei— you look so red, are you okay?” But still, SinB noticed.

“Y-Yeah, just tired.”

“It’s past midnight, where did you come from?” SinB asked, tone a bit.. scolding? “I-I mean— I-It’s not that I’m—“ Knowing she could not formulate any sensible sentence, SinB just sighed and mentally slapped herself as she looked at anywhere but Yerin.

“I lost track of time.” Yerin replied casually and simply walked to the kitchen. But deep inside, she knew the calmness she felt earlier was replaced by an unexplainable feeling the moment she heard and saw SinB. She wasn’t even sure how she managed to be that casual around the girl after finally figuring out her feelings. Probably, she was just too good at pretending? “You. Why are you still awake?” She asked the other girl, feeling her presence behind.

“I just w-woke up to d-drink water.”—Actually, I haven’t slept at all, thinking where on earth you might be.

Lying was one of the few things SinB was never good at. She was always a lousy liar. She could just hope that Yerin would believe her, knowing that Yerin knows and reads her well. But the older seemed so preoccupied to even process what she just said because Yerin only nodded and started looking for something she herself wasn’t sure what.

As SinB got herself a glass of water, Yerin decided to just cook an instant ramen remembering she hadn’t have dinner yet. Both of them moved in silence, not knowing what to say. SinB obviously felt uncomfortable. She knew she should move faster and head to the masters bedroom first to avoid the awkwardness but her body seemed to not cooperate. Besides, there was a part of her telling her to stay a little bit longer.

“How was your day with Umji?” Yerin casually asked but her eyes didn’t dare to look away from the cup of ramen in front of her. She was sitting on a kitchen stool and across her was SinB who almost choked hearing her question. “Did you take her out on a date?” Every word that escaped was pinching her heart. Actually, she wasn’t sure why she was doing that, hurting herself. Probably, she was thinking that if she was continuously hurt, her feelings would just disappear.

“N-No. She told me to just rest first.” SinB replied, looking down to her glass of water. Yerin only nodded and started devouring her ramen, not knowing what to say next. She was expecting the younger girl to leave first and head to sleep after finishing her water but no, SinB stayed there.

After a few minutes of complete silence, SinB spoke again. “U-Unnie…” Yerin only hummed in response as she kept herself busy with her ramen. She didn’t look up and SinB preferred that because she knew she couldn’t look at her unnie’s