Thirty Three

It's Not Fine

 

“Tae, the new girl asked me on a date.” Tiffany says one day when they were on their usual call.

Tiffany’s eyes widen slightly as she feels herself running . She thinks she doesn’t know why she had shared this with Taeyeon but if she was forced to admit it, there was a hidden part of her that knows it was because she was hoping for Taeyeon to brush her off, show Tiffany her love for her and to answer her something along the lines of ‘no way, you’re mine’. 

 

But little did she know, Taeyeon didn’t have the same thoughts at all. She was blaming herself for the lack of commitment she gave to Tiffany because they were long distance. She was blaming herself for not being stronger for Tiffany, for not trying harder even if it meant breaking herself. 

 

Tiffany was met with a long silence, followed by a soft sigh.

“I think you should go.” She hears the hesitation in Taeyeon’s voice.

“I should go?” Tiffany repeated her words, not believing what she was hearing.

“Yeah, maybe it’ll go well.” Tiffany was so caught up in her feelings of betrayal that she failed to hear Taeyeon’s voice crack at the end.

“It’s getting a little late. I’m going to sleep. Goodnight.” Taeyeon says abruptly, a tear rolling down her cheek.

“Goodnight,” Tiffany replies, still in shock.

 

Taeyeon ends the call and drops her phone. She turned in her bed, facing against the wall and hugged herself as tears began to fall profusely. What have I done? She covered to stifle her sobs. Her efforts to hide her grief were in vain as she was overcome by the wave of her emotions. She broke down entirely, all her defences washed away in those salty tears.



 

Taeyeon calms down after a while.

Maybe it’s for the best. She thinks. She is unable to give Tiffany her all, they could not even be together physically. Maybe this girl can, maybe she will make Tiffany happier than Taeyeon would.

 

The following days, no matter how hard Taeyeon tried to convince herself that she did the right thing, she just didn’t believe it. Her days were spent either lying in bed or at the company, practising for her concert. Her mood did not go unnoticed when Sunny dropped by the dance studio one day randomly to see her. 

 

Sunny watches as she waits for Taeyeon’s practice to finish, noticing her friend’s dark eye circles looking deeper and her lips never curved up. She was also unable to concentrate as her mind was clearly preoccupied.

“Sorry. Let’s do it again.” She hears Taeyeon say when she messes up a move. The dancers clearly noticed her condition that day and called for a break. Taeyeon nodded and walked towards Sunny. Sunny sees the dancers huddled up, their voices hushed to a low whisper.

“Hey.” Taeyeon says as she drops onto the floor beside Sunny, wrapping her arms around her legs.

“Hey,” Sunny reaches out to Taeyeon’s head. “How have you been?” 

“I’m…” Taeyeon sighs and buries her face in her hands.

Sunny doesn’t say a word. She places her hand on Taeyeon’s shoulder and squeezes.

She taps Taeyeon as a dancer approaches them.

“Taeyeon unnie, I think we should call it a day. There's not much time left anyway, I think we all could use some rest.”

I think you could use some rest. Taeyeon hears the underlying message in her words.

“Okay.” Taeyeon doesn’t oppose and dismisses them. 

After everyone else has left the room, she doesn’t move from her spot and rests her forehead on her arm.

Sunny sits quietly and patiently waits for her. After a moment, Taeyeon looks up and exhales. “Where will you be heading next?” She asks Sunny.

“I have nowhere to go. Want to go for dinner together?” Sunny suggests.

“I don’t really feel like going out. Can’t we get delivery or something?” 

Sunny nods and gives her a thumbs up. 

Taeyeon drove them back to her house. The whole journey, fewer than five words were exchanged. Taeyeon simply did not have the energy to talk and Sunny understands. 

“What would you like for dinner?” Sunny asks as she closes the main door of Taeyeon’s home.

“Anything is fine,” Taeyeon shrugs before she continues, “I’m going to go shower.” She heads to her room.

Sunny orders their food and sits on the sofa, turning on the television to flip through the channels.

 

By the time Taeyeon returns from her shower, the food has already arrived and Sunny had set the coffee table up and was waiting for Taeyeon.

“Food’s here.” She announces as she sees Taeyeon walking out from her room, drying her hair with a towel.

“Okay, thanks.” She places her towel in the laundry basket and heads to where Sunny was.

Taeyeon idly pushes her noodles around, gazing at the television abstractedly.

Sunny wasn’t focusing on the show either, ever since Taeyeon took a seat beside her, she frequently glanced at the latter at the corner of her eye, wondering why she had become so withdrawn.

“Will you tell me what happened?” Sunny says after a while. She sees Taeyeon hesitate and having an internal debate with herself.

“What’s on your mind?” Sunny tries again.

Taeyeon exhales defeatedly. “Someone asked Tiffany on a date.”

“Okay,” Sunny nods unsurely.

“And I told her to go.” Taeyeon drops her head in her palms. 

“You what?” Sunny’s brain was trying to digest the incomprehensible news that was just relayed to her.

“W-wha, why?” 

“I think she deserves better than me.” Taeyeon mumbles through her fingers.

Sunny slaps Taeyeon’s shoulder, with precision and strength.

“Ow! What was that for?” Taeyeon groaned and rubbed her shoulder.

“Are you up now? Are you awake? Because I was afraid you were in a state of trance.” Sunny chided.

 

“What do you mean? Also I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to wake someone up by scaring the out of them?” Taeyeon whined.

“Oh, that you’re sure of? But you’re not sure you’re the right person for Tiffany?” Sunny raised her arms, frustrated at her friend.

“We can’t even be together right now, I can’t give her hugs when she’s sad or be there when she’s happy or you know…” Taeyeon raises two fingers up.

 

“I swear to god.” Sunny shakes her head and raises her hand, intending to slap Taeyeon again. 

“Stop beating me!” Taeyeon raises both her palms in defence.

“Then you stop being a !” Sunny scolds.

“I just thought, maybe someone being there for her physically could help more than me, who is 6000 miles away,” Taeyeon huffed.

“You’re an idiot.” Sunny pinches the bridge of her nose.

“I am, aren’t I?” Taeyeon sighs dejectedly. “I messed everything up. What am I going to do now?”

“When is your next schedule?” Sunny suddenly asks.

“Huh? Uh, I don’t have much, only dance practise in three days.” 

“So you’re free till then?”

Taeyeon nods her head.

 


 

A/N: Sorry for the (random?) angst HAHA but I just had an idea and ... oops? Anw its ok in Sunny we trust :>

Btw i went to a music festival last weekend and I'm not feeling well again LMAO help my ty immune system + coupled with my writer's block, updates might be really slow cause i dont even have chapter 36 finished x.x 

Anw thanks for reading and hope this tugged on your heartstrings even just a little bit HAHA

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minjiminjeongs
wooo taeny

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Fire_trek 244 streak #1
Chapter 37: It’s thanksgiving where I am and I’m giving thanks to Taeny and this fic.. it was a wild ride of angst and fluff but I loved it nonetheless. Beautifully written and amazingly executed. I can’t wait until I read your other fics when I get time! Thank you author nim!
Fire_trek 244 streak #2
Chapter 36: Yeah, Taeny is back! I loved this story even though it’s almost over :( the girl seemed like a great girl, but Taeny is the real deal!
Fire_trek 244 streak #3
Chapter 35: In Sunny we trust! She’s like the coffee shop girl calling Tae a lol she had the best advice maybe Taeyeon could get Sunny and the coffee shop girl together… never mind they’d be too powerful for this world lol
Fire_trek 244 streak #4
Chapter 34: The chat is something I’d pay to be apart of. But in all honesty I’d probably be Hyoyeon to the chat and ignore it all lol.. even though I love the fluff I’m looking forward to the angst!
Fire_trek 244 streak #5
Chapter 33: Omg they kissed in public! Big girl moves they’re taking I see lol.. it was nice to see them together, even if it was for a little bit. I don’t know how they will cope without each other, maybe a surprise meeting soon?
Fire_trek 244 streak #6
Chapter 32: Another great chapter, Taeny really brighten up my day, seriously. Yes, Tiffany has grown into herself more as a woman and a person. This makes me happy
Fire_trek 244 streak #7
Chapter 31: Aww, you know I love fluff.. this was pure gold. Even though I love angst this was a good change of pace. Let them just be happy for once, right?
Fire_trek 244 streak #8
Chapter 30: That was hot 🥵 who knew Taeny had it in them? I know you were feeling apprehensive about writing this but it came out great!
Fire_trek 244 streak #9
Chapter 29: This was cute and I can’t wait for the next chapter!! here we come!
Fire_trek 244 streak #10
Chapter 28: This was sad but beautiful. Missing someone is a natural emotion for us to have, I’m glad she’s coping well with this tho. I miss the coffee shop girl tho lol