Three

It's Not Fine

 

Someone would enter her life and Taeyeon would try to learn to accept her uality.

On her good days, she would visit a coffee shop near their dorm. It was a small establishment, a place Taeyeon liked to go for her caffeine fix as there was not much foot traffic.

The first time she sees her, it was when her brows were furrowed, a bead of perspiration trickling down the side of her face, teeth gently nibbling on her lips as she stared at the espresso machine with great focus. A  screwdriver in her right hand and a manual on her left. 

Must be a new employee. Taeyeon thinks to herself.

Her eyes widened as she heard a clunk, followed by a curse word. 

“Sorry for the noise, our machine became wonky and I am not paid enough for this.” The girl announced to no one in particular and continued with her task. Taeyeon couldn't help it and chuckled softly.

The second time, she took Taeyeon’s order, “a pumpkin spiced latte” and asked for her name to write on the cup before commenting, “isn't it funny how you can fit a pumpkin in such a small cup!” Taeyeon grinned. It was lowkey nice that she was not recognised and didn't have to put on her idol facade.

The forth time, she greets Taeyeon with a “Hey pumpkin,” and proceeds to draw a heart beside her name on the cup. 

Seeing her after that was not an uncommon thing, as whenever Taeyeon was there, she would probably be too. They bonded with the small talks over the counter as Taeyeon waits for her to finish making her drink. Sometimes if it was a slow day, she would join Taeyeon at her seat and they would talk about the randomest of things. “Do you think that if the monkeys could fly they would be our supreme overlords?” “If flippers were not black but an unnatural color maybe sharks would not mistake humans for seals?” “Do you think aliens know we exist but because of how ty we treat the earth they decide that it's not worth it?” “Why is 5+5 literally the color green?” Taeyeon never fails to be entertained by their conversations.

Whenever she goes back to the dorm, it would probably have been a few hours and Tiffany would ask her about it. 

She doesn't say much, except that she met someone and that they were just talking. Being the hype girl that Tiffany is, she would constantly badger her about her new “male conquest” as she would put it and Taeyeon would just smile and brush it off. 

The fifteenth time she saw her was when she realized that the girl was a lesbian. “Wait, what do you mean you didn't know?” She looked at Taeyeon quizzically. “I am literally a walking rainbow flag?” She points at her tattoos, which Taeyeon now realizes that they were fruity designs. She points at her head, which was never the color of her natural hair and “not to be a stereotype but,” she lifts her feet to show off her Dr Martens.

“I mean how was I supposed to know? Maybe you were just an edgy straight or something,” Taeyeon shrugged.

“Ma’am do you not know any gays?” She snickers and shoves Taeyeon’s shoulder playfully.

Taeyeon’s expression darkens a little and she purses her lips.

“I’m not implying anything i ju-” She was interrupted by lips that were soft like marshmallows and tasted like the latte she had just made.

“I’m sorry.” Taeyeon immediately backs away and stands to leave. 

“No, it’s alright.” She grabs Taeyeon’s arm and pulls her back into her seat. 

“Does anyone know?” Her fingers slid down Taeyeon’s milky skin and stopped at her palms. She knew that Taeyeon’s life was more public than she deserved after Taeyeon told her about her job previously.

“No. I have never even said it out loud myself.” Taeyeon exhales. 

Taeyeon could feel her heartbeat getting faster as she struggled to keep up with her breathing. It felt like the air was out of her lungs and her vision blurred. She clenched her fist and pounded on her chest as she looked at her desperately for help. 

“Hey, it's okay, it's okay. I think you’re having a panic attack. Just breathe.” She holds Taeyeon’s hand. “Focus on your breathing. Then tell me two things you can hear..”

Taeyeon huffs and squeezes her hand. 

“I c-can h-hear the air conditioning, and c-cars on the r-road.”

“Good good. Now three things you can smell.”

“M-my coffee, pastries, and your p-perfume.”

“You’re doing well. Lastly, four things you can see.”

“Your badge, the chair, napkins and coffee b-beans.”

“Okay. That’s good. Are you feeling better now?” Her thumb caresses Taeyeon’s cheek.

“Yes.” Taeyeon closed her eyes and breathed deeply. “How did you learn how to do that?” 

She shakes her head as her expression turns into a melancholic one. “I used to have panic attacks too. When I was afraid that no one would accept me for who I am.” 

“I’m really lucky though, my mother helped me through them and she was really supportive when I told her.” 

“And I’m telling you now, it's really scary but it gets better.”

 

From that day, she helped Taeyeon and piece by piece, Taeyeon was finally whole again 

 


A/N: Welp, I hope that was okay.
I'm trying to work on the pace of uploading. I've got a few chapters ready but I'm not sure when they'll all be uploaded. Hmm stay tuned ig hehe. Thanks for reading <3

For Taeny expecters please be comforted by the fact that this character doesn't have a name :3 

If yall need references of the person just for fun i would say she’s most like heo eun from the kdrama ‘race’ personality and look-wise hehe She's also sapphic in that show and she gets a happy wlw ending but they have quite little scenes together and the main plot of the show is quite mid so I recommend only watching their scenes lmao

 

 

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Fire_trek 244 streak #1
Chapter 37: It’s thanksgiving where I am and I’m giving thanks to Taeny and this fic.. it was a wild ride of angst and fluff but I loved it nonetheless. Beautifully written and amazingly executed. I can’t wait until I read your other fics when I get time! Thank you author nim!
Fire_trek 244 streak #2
Chapter 36: Yeah, Taeny is back! I loved this story even though it’s almost over :( the girl seemed like a great girl, but Taeny is the real deal!
Fire_trek 244 streak #3
Chapter 35: In Sunny we trust! She’s like the coffee shop girl calling Tae a lol she had the best advice maybe Taeyeon could get Sunny and the coffee shop girl together… never mind they’d be too powerful for this world lol
Fire_trek 244 streak #4
Chapter 34: The chat is something I’d pay to be apart of. But in all honesty I’d probably be Hyoyeon to the chat and ignore it all lol.. even though I love the fluff I’m looking forward to the angst!
Fire_trek 244 streak #5
Chapter 33: Omg they kissed in public! Big girl moves they’re taking I see lol.. it was nice to see them together, even if it was for a little bit. I don’t know how they will cope without each other, maybe a surprise meeting soon?
Fire_trek 244 streak #6
Chapter 32: Another great chapter, Taeny really brighten up my day, seriously. Yes, Tiffany has grown into herself more as a woman and a person. This makes me happy
Fire_trek 244 streak #7
Chapter 31: Aww, you know I love fluff.. this was pure gold. Even though I love angst this was a good change of pace. Let them just be happy for once, right?
Fire_trek 244 streak #8
Chapter 30: That was hot 🥵 who knew Taeny had it in them? I know you were feeling apprehensive about writing this but it came out great!
Fire_trek 244 streak #9
Chapter 29: This was cute and I can’t wait for the next chapter!! here we come!
Fire_trek 244 streak #10
Chapter 28: This was sad but beautiful. Missing someone is a natural emotion for us to have, I’m glad she’s coping well with this tho. I miss the coffee shop girl tho lol