Thirty

It's Not Fine

 

“Thank you LA!” Tiffany waves and bows to the audience. It was yet another successful concert and she was grateful that everything went on smoothly. She was met with cheers from all of the staff members as she walked backstage, everyone ecstatic that the last concert had gone well.

She thanks all of them individually, ensuring that they all knew how grateful she was to them.

She excitedly skips to the room Taeyeon was in, curious to find out what Taeyeon thought about her performance that day.

She opens the door slowly, to face a smiling Taeyeon, hand clasped and held close to her chest.

“You were amazing.” Taeyeon vocalised, walking towards Tiffany.

Tiffany closed the door behind her and turned back to Taeyeon. “Thank you.” She beamed. 

Their arms wrapped around each other as they connected their lips. 

“I think today was my best performance,” Tiffany says, between kisses. 

“You being here gave me so much strength.” She continues, hands moving up and planting firmly in Taeyeon’s hair. 

“You being here really helps me too.” Taeyeon whispers, hands sliding down to the small of Tiffany’s back, pulling her closer.



 

“Do you wanna see my tour bus?” Tiffany asks as she looks in the mirror and checks her appearance.

“Yes, of course!” Taeyeon answers, curious about what it might look like.

 

Tiffany brings Taeyeon outside of the venue after a while, when most of the fans have already left. Taeyeon leaves Zero with her manager and they walk discreetly towards the tour bus.

“Here it is.” Tiffany opens her hand and invites her in. “It's really nothing much but it is kinda cool.” She says as she ascends the steps, holding onto Taeyeon’s hand as Taeyeon follows behind.

 

“Here is the driver’s seat,” she points as Taeyeon steps onto the bus.

“And here,” she takes a few steps in and shows Taeyeon a booth. “Is usually where we have our lunch or dinner and where we have our meetings.”

“Here,” she pushes some curtains to the side to show bunk beds that were built into the walls. “Is where the staff that were touring with me sleep.”

“This,” she pulls open a door at a corner. “Is the toilet we use, strictly number ones only, number twos at rest stops or restaurants.” She laughs.

“And this,” she pulls a curtain in the middle of the walkway, to reveal a nice double bed and a table “is my room.” 

Taeyeon’s lips formed an ‘o’ shape, “this looks really comfortable.” She comments, looking at the folded blanket and pillows that were placed neatly on the bed.

 

“It is.” Tiffany gives her a wink and pulls her to the bed, they sit down and face each other.

“I’m glad that you could at least get proper rest while touring.” Taeyeon reaches out to hold Tiffany’s hands, fiddling with her fingers.

Tiffany nodded and they sat in silence, fully feeling each other’s presence. A short moment later, Tiffany’s stomach rumbles, Taeyeon chuckles.

“Sorry, it’s just I haven’t eaten since breakfast.” Tiffany smiled bashfully.

“Alright, what do you want to eat? My treat.” Taeyeon stands up and pulls Tiffany along with her.

“Something greasy.” Tiffany grins.

They then decided to drop by a fast food chain before heading to Tiffany’s place.

 

“Here it is!” Tiffany announces after unlocking her front door. It is the first time that Taeyeon is seeing her new home, apart from the pictures she had sent in their group chat previously.

She shows Taeyeon around, earning compliments and nods of approval from her, even Zero was looking around attentively.

“It’s really nice!” Taeyeon gives her a thumbs up as they finish their little tour around the house.

“Thank you Tae!” Tiffany flashes her signature eye smile.



 

They settled down on the dining table, munching on their burger and fries while catching up.

“I can’t believe you’re here filming with Zero.” Tiffany exclaims.

“Right! My dog is earning money too.” Taeyeon laughs. 

 

When they finish, Tiffany microwaves a bag of popcorn and they decide to head to the living room and watch a movie together.

 

Taeyeon looks over as her phone starts buzzing. It was a call from her manager.

“What time should I pick you to go back to the hotel?” Her manager asks after saying hello.

“What time should you pick me to return to the hotel?” Taeyeon vocalises, glancing at Tiffany, hoping that she’ll ask her to stay.

Tiffany immediately looks up from her popcorn, brows raised and shakes her head.

“You can stay here, I have a guest room.” Tiffany says, loud enough for Taeyeon’s manager to hear.

“I think you don’t have to pick me up today. Have a good rest. See you tomorrow?” Taeyeon speaks into the phone.

“Alright, since your flight is at 6pm, I’ll be there to pick you up in the afternoon. I’ll check out of the hotel for you. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay, thank you. Bye.” Taeyeon nods and puts down the phone.

 

“Don’t think that you can leave my sight so soon!” Tiffany huffs jokingly.

Taeyeon smiles sheepishly and rubs her neck.

Her phone buzzes again.

 

“Hello?” She answers.

“I will be dropping by to pick Zero up. Your mother’s orders. She says she will take care of him tonight.” Her manager updates her.

“Okay.” Taeyeon presses her lips into a thin line.

After the call ended, she texts her mom.

 

Thank you.

 

A reply comes almost instantly.

 

Have fun. I love you. 

 

She smiles as her eyes become glossy with tears.

 

“Are you okay?” Tiffany puts her popcorn on the table and turns to Taeyeon, placing her hand on Taeyeon’s shoulder.

 

Taeyeon takes a few seconds to compose herself, failing as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

Tiffany reaches to wrap Taeyeon’s hand in hers. She squeezes lightly, as if to tell her to take her time, it’s okay.

 

“Existing without you is honestly so tough.” Taeyeon exhales shakily.

“It’s like previously we were busy, so busy, sometimes we didn’t even have time to eat or sleep. But it is…” Taeyeon takes a deep breath.

“I won’t say that it was easy, but it was okay, manageable, because you were there with me. Even if I had schedules alone, at the end of the day I had you to return to and everything would be fine.”  Taeyeon brings up her hand to wipe her tears.

“Baby…” Tiffany frowns at Taeyeon’s sudden expression of desolation. She moves closer to Taeyeon and hugs her tightly.

“I have been so tired. Life has been so tiring. I’m working my off because I can, because I’m still young. But I feel like I’m losing myself.” 

“And I think Umma knows. I don’t know how but she knows and she’s trying her best to help me. But I just-,” Taeyeon places her hand around as soft whimpers escape.

Tiffany rubs her back gently.

“I know it wasn’t easy for you either.” Taeyeon sniffs.

“You’re all alone in this country. At least I have the other members minutes away from me. I shouldn’t even be allowed to feel this way.” Taeyeon rests her chin on Tiffany’s shoulder.

Tiffany shakes her head as she lets go of Taeyeon. 

“It was hard and scary to have to start over but please do not minimise your trauma just because you think that I had it worse.” Tiffany laces their fingers together.

“You are allowed to feel however you feel. Don’t invalidate your feelings because they are what belongs to you. If I am allowed to feel ty and lonely, you are too. Because as that was true to me, it was to you too.” She inches closer and places her forehead against Taeyeon’s, their noses brushing against each other’s. They both closed their eyes, feeling the warmth radiating around them.

 


 

A/N: now (i say now but really i mean since 2017/18) that fany had her activities in the US I feel like she got more comfortable with herself and is more open with sharing what she believes in. like the slay queen/i-am-that- attitude is an amazing look for her and I am so happy that she made that decision and is able to break out of her 'image maintaining' shell the korean industry has forced on her which means that everything I wrote here, especially the words of affirmation seem a little more real because I could see her being this supportive, non toxic human being for not only Tae but for all of her members and staff. im uwu (my high school english teacher would have a field day with my run on sentences HAHA)

ok sorry for that rambling hehe i hope you enjoyed this chapter. Have a great day ahead!

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
minjiminjeongs
wooo taeny

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Fire_trek 294 streak #1
Chapter 37: It’s thanksgiving where I am and I’m giving thanks to Taeny and this fic.. it was a wild ride of angst and fluff but I loved it nonetheless. Beautifully written and amazingly executed. I can’t wait until I read your other fics when I get time! Thank you author nim!
Fire_trek 294 streak #2
Chapter 36: Yeah, Taeny is back! I loved this story even though it’s almost over :( the girl seemed like a great girl, but Taeny is the real deal!
Fire_trek 294 streak #3
Chapter 35: In Sunny we trust! She’s like the coffee shop girl calling Tae a lol she had the best advice maybe Taeyeon could get Sunny and the coffee shop girl together… never mind they’d be too powerful for this world lol
Fire_trek 294 streak #4
Chapter 34: The chat is something I’d pay to be apart of. But in all honesty I’d probably be Hyoyeon to the chat and ignore it all lol.. even though I love the fluff I’m looking forward to the angst!
Fire_trek 294 streak #5
Chapter 33: Omg they kissed in public! Big girl moves they’re taking I see lol.. it was nice to see them together, even if it was for a little bit. I don’t know how they will cope without each other, maybe a surprise meeting soon?
Fire_trek 294 streak #6
Chapter 32: Another great chapter, Taeny really brighten up my day, seriously. Yes, Tiffany has grown into herself more as a woman and a person. This makes me happy
Fire_trek 294 streak #7
Chapter 31: Aww, you know I love fluff.. this was pure gold. Even though I love angst this was a good change of pace. Let them just be happy for once, right?
Fire_trek 294 streak #8
Chapter 30: That was hot 🥵 who knew Taeny had it in them? I know you were feeling apprehensive about writing this but it came out great!
Fire_trek 294 streak #9
Chapter 29: This was cute and I can’t wait for the next chapter!! here we come!
Fire_trek 294 streak #10
Chapter 28: This was sad but beautiful. Missing someone is a natural emotion for us to have, I’m glad she’s coping well with this tho. I miss the coffee shop girl tho lol