Twenty Three

It's Not Fine


SNSD’s contracts were ending soon and the members were giving it a great thought if they should continue the next years of their lives in SM or if they should try something new. 

Taeyeon thought that this decision was pretty easy for her. As she always wanted to be a singer, not necessary an idol but just a person who is able to sing, she thought that being in a company that she was in the past thirteen years would be helpful as the company would allow her to do what she wanted to do: sing, without having to move to a new environment or head under a new management where she had to start from scratch and fight for her rights or reiterate what her needs were. 

She thought she was sure that Tiffany would choose the same thing. But unbeknownst to her, Tiffany was having a huge mental breakdown and an identity crisis.

Tiffany knew that she wanted to sing and act. But she felt that staying in SM would be a choice that is too safe for her. She wanted to do more. She wanted to write songs, to produce them and to make them into masterpieces. She wanted to be in musicals and films. Staying in SM would somehow mean that she had to do the songs that the management wanted her to do, or to simply put, safe pop songs that are easy going for the ears but not necessarily breakthroughs that will help her in the industry. They also did not give her enough opportunities to act as ‘the other members with more experience might be better for it’. They often told her.

After huge deliberation, Tiffany has decided that she would not be signing with SM after all. It was not a small decision, definitely not a simple one as it meant that she wasn’t able to spend as much time with Taeyeon as she was right now. 

Apprehension and guilt fell in her chest when she thought about telling Taeyeon. She thought deeply on the right time to tell her but she decided that just telling her as soon as possible might be better. 


Taeyeon was in the room one day, when Tiffany knocked the door to bring her attention to her.

“Tae, can we talk?” 

Taeyeon pats the spot beside her and waits for Tiffany to sit before placing an arm around her shoulder.

Tiffany leans into Taeyeon’s chest and hesitates.

“About our contracts… I’ve decided not to re-sign mine.” Tiffany exhales anxiously.

“You what?” Taeyeon pushes Tiffany off her and backs away, trying to look into her eyes. 

“I think I need to go back to the U.S. and study some more.” Tiffany bit her lips.

“U.S…?” Taeyeon was hoping that she had heard wrongly.


“Is this your final decision?” Taeyeon cuts her off.

“Yes. I think it is.” Tiffany reaches out to hold Taeyeon’s hand but Taeyeon jerks away. 

“Then we have nothing to talk about.” Taeyeon stands up and leaves the room.

“Tae!” Tiffany calls out as she chases her.

“Don’t follow me.” Taeyeon replies sternly before turning and walking out of the dorm.

Tiffany was in distress. It definitely did not go the way she had planned. Tiffany immediately takes out her phone and sends Taeyeon a message.


I’m sorry Tae. I should’ve talked to you first before making my decision but it was one that came to me very naturally and I just wanted to be a better version of myself. I hope you understand. Please, talk to me.


She was met with no reply. 

That night, Taeyeon came back and she slept in a different room.


The girls had started preparing for their last comeback. As they knew that almost half of them were not going to re-sign their contracts, they were working hard and treasuring the little time they had left as a group of eight. Well, except for Taeyeon. She was giving Tiffany the cold shoulder and everyone could feel it. It was as if Tiffany didn’t exist to Taeyeon and Tiffany grew more and more despondent.

Everyone thought it was one of those typical Taeny fights and that they would make up in like two days but a few days later, even with the manager’s interference, (he had tried to solve the problem and made Taeyeon agree to get along with Tiffany but) Taeyeon was still ignoring her. 


“You can’t ignore her forever.” Sunny comments one day.

“I can. And very soon she wouldn’t even be here anymore anyway.” Taeyeon replies coldly.

“And by then you will regret it.”

“Since it’s that easy for her to leave me, then I will make it easy for me too.”

“Don’t be stubborn. You know it’s not easy for her. You know deep in your heart that it’s one of her most difficult decisions. Seriously. Make up before you regret not spending the time you have left with her.” Sunny advises her, hoping that it’ll go inside her thick skull.


Taeyeon stands up from the dining table, preparing to head into the room when she sees Tiffany walk in.

“Wait.” Tiffany quickens her pace and grabs hold of Taeyeon’s arm. Taeyeon stops but doesnt turn to face her.

“I’m sorry. I should’ve asked you for your opinion too. I’m sorry Tae. Please stop ignoring me. The past two weeks have been crazy miserable for me. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep, I can’t pay attention during practice. I’m sure you saw. Please Tae. I can’t do this anymore. Talk to me.” Tiffany pleaded, tears forming in her eyes.

Taeyeon hesitates before turning around and looking at Tiffany. The dark circles around her eyes were prominent and her jaw was sharper, her weight loss evident. Taeyeon’s heart breaks. 

Her head dropped in shame, guilt and frustration. 

“Didn’t you have the intention of leaving me in the first place.” She mutters dejectedly.

“No Tae! I promise. I was too excited about my ambitions but I swear that was not my intention. Tae, please believe me. I love you so much.” Tiffany’s grip on Taeyeon’s arm tightened as tears started falling down her face.

Taeyeon looks up and her heart softens at the sight. She wrapped her arms tightly around Tiffany. “Me too. I love you so much that the thought of you leaving hurts me tremendously.” 

“I’m sorry for the past two weeks. I didn’t know how to deal with all of the feelings that you were making me feel.” Taeyeon rests her forehead on Tiffany’s shoulder.


“I just wish it was easier.”



A/N: here it issssss. Sorry for the late post, took some meds and was out of it the whole day HAHA. Anyways, hope this was ok. Thanks for reading and have a great one!


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Fire_trek 243 streak #1
Chapter 37: It’s thanksgiving where I am and I’m giving thanks to Taeny and this fic.. it was a wild ride of angst and fluff but I loved it nonetheless. Beautifully written and amazingly executed. I can’t wait until I read your other fics when I get time! Thank you author nim!
Fire_trek 243 streak #2
Chapter 36: Yeah, Taeny is back! I loved this story even though it’s almost over :( the girl seemed like a great girl, but Taeny is the real deal!
Fire_trek 243 streak #3
Chapter 35: In Sunny we trust! She’s like the coffee shop girl calling Tae a lol she had the best advice maybe Taeyeon could get Sunny and the coffee shop girl together… never mind they’d be too powerful for this world lol
Fire_trek 243 streak #4
Chapter 34: The chat is something I’d pay to be apart of. But in all honesty I’d probably be Hyoyeon to the chat and ignore it all lol.. even though I love the fluff I’m looking forward to the angst!
Fire_trek 243 streak #5
Chapter 33: Omg they kissed in public! Big girl moves they’re taking I see lol.. it was nice to see them together, even if it was for a little bit. I don’t know how they will cope without each other, maybe a surprise meeting soon?
Fire_trek 243 streak #6
Chapter 32: Another great chapter, Taeny really brighten up my day, seriously. Yes, Tiffany has grown into herself more as a woman and a person. This makes me happy
Fire_trek 243 streak #7
Chapter 31: Aww, you know I love fluff.. this was pure gold. Even though I love angst this was a good change of pace. Let them just be happy for once, right?
Fire_trek 243 streak #8
Chapter 30: That was hot 🥵 who knew Taeny had it in them? I know you were feeling apprehensive about writing this but it came out great!
Fire_trek 243 streak #9
Chapter 29: This was cute and I can’t wait for the next chapter!! here we come!
Fire_trek 243 streak #10
Chapter 28: This was sad but beautiful. Missing someone is a natural emotion for us to have, I’m glad she’s coping well with this tho. I miss the coffee shop girl tho lol