PSA:

1. Character Q&A Part 1 is at the end of the chapter

2. Thank you to all the lovely people who helped me with my survey. I love you wonderful people!

Minghao returned a week right before Christmas with Jun. Although it was evident he missed spending time with his family, he was also ceaselessly complaining about how boring it was to have holiday conversations through texts. His arrival back in Korea hence warranted the much needed drinking session among the four of us - Vernon, Mingyu, him and myself. 

Vernon and Mingyu made their way to the bar first while I traveled there with Minghao. Living up to the saying absence makes the heart fonder, Minghao seemed to be especially chatty that day with his endless stories about his time in China. In the cold Seoul winter, we slung our arms around each other as Minghao went on about how I might have lost weight from all the work I've done over the holidays. Just between the two of us, there was already so much catching up to do. After all the babysitting I did over the holidays, it felt like his return was giving me the breathers. It's as if he hadn't left at all, and our conversations merely continued from the phone screens to reality. 

"You guys are late!" Vernon and Mingyu had already started on a round of drinks by the time we arrived. Minghao and I joined them at the booth after collecting our cocktails at the bar - a Whiskey Sour for him and a Kiss on the Lips for me. How people came up with cocktail names, I have no idea. 

It would be more appropriate to say that this drinking session was one to console the broken-hearted rather than to celebrate the return of Minghao. The sombre jazz in the background did not help and the alcohol were simply enzymes that accelerated the downfall of our emotions; nobody was spared. Even Minghao seemed to be drinking some worries and sorrows away, because he was drinking more than usual. I was seated beside the already tipsy Mingyu, while Vernon was leaning against Minghao, who was slightly more sobre compared to our friend who arrived earlier for a first round of drinks. It was strange to see Vernon giving in to alcohol under the dim lights of the bar - I was just getting used to seeing his bright and jovial self in the supermarket this week, that I almost forgotten that he was in the midst of his complicated emotional dilemma. It wasn't everyday that you questioned whether you truly loved someone, and if you did whether you were so ready to let go. He was certainly ordering the stronger liquor on the menu, something that was very unlike his usual drinking style compared to our previous sessions. 

It took us only an hour of chatting and catching up to realise our biggest mistake - letting Kim Mingyu drink too much. Nobody at the table doubted how much frustration and misery the boy must be repressing within himself. His smile gave way to a sulk by the time his third drink came. As he swayed dangerously against the seat, leaning towards me, Minghao and Vernon could only laugh from opposite. 

Except that there was a single moment, when Kim Mingyu's face was just an inch away. 

It was probably a split second, but everything around me seemed to come to a pause. Our gaze held, and in his I saw sleepiness, confusion, and a sadness I wanted to erase on his behalf. In mine,  I was curious what he saw. He was that focused, looking into my eyes. It was like that night - the music seemed to cease around me, our friends' expressions were a blur in my peripheral vision. It was just me and him again, lips daring to crash into each other. 

I debated with myself; we were all tipsy. I certainly was, just that I was sobre enough to register this moment. I could pretend. I could pretend that after what he's realised about his relationship with Hyeyoung and how I've always been there for him, I could finally claim that a kiss was genuinely meant for me. I could pretend to laugh in a silly manner a