chapter 19

“ ONE MORE TIME.” the doctor screamed pressing the electric shock to changkyun chest again. After seeing jooheon falling to his knees begging them to bring changkyun back the doctor couldn't give up. After the 3rd around the doctor let out a deep breath when he saw the heart monitor start to move up and down. Changkyun heart raised up and down slowly but it was enough to know he was breathing.

Jooheon was still on his knees he cried and screamed he didn't want changkyun to die he barely knew his brother. He never had a chance to get to know what kind of person he is. He wanted to get another chance and fix everything to wake up from this nightmare and to give his little brother a hug. To tell him he loves him. He wanted to go back to the day his dad brought home changkyun instead of bullying him and telling him he would make his life a living hell. he would show his friends his little brother and become best friends. But jooheon mostly just wanted changkyun to breathe again so he could apologize and tell him he isn't anything but loved and cared for. And if he lost that chance he didn't how he would ever live with himself.

Jooheon didn't notice the heart monitor working again. he didn't notice changkyun chest moving up and down and he didn't notice the doctor kneeling down in front of him. “ hey” the doctor stated he didn't know what to say he just kneeled in front of jooheon holding his shoulder. “ please... Doc… please…” jooheon repeated he didn't want to hear the doctor say the horrible words that would make his whole world stop spinning. “ his breathing.” the doctor said moving aside showing jooheon. changkyun was going to alright. Jooheon looked up and let off another sob when he was changkyun chest move up and down. “his a strong kid.” the doctor said helping jooheon up.  After getting on his feet jooheon rushed to changkyun side leaning over his bed giving him a tight hug but gentle too so he doesn't hurt him.

Jooheon sit in the chair watching his brother breathe slowly while his chest moved he took changkyun hand. He held changyun hand so tight as if he was going slip from him and won't get him back if he let go. Doctor Han slowly enter the room he stands behind jooheon looking at changkyun. “ jooheon i think you should go home eat and change your clothes we will be here with changkyun to make sure nothing happened.” Hans says walking around to look at changkyun heart rate. “ I can't leave him he will be all alone.” jooheon said gently moving changkyun dark brown hair away from his eyes. “ he won't be alone we will all be here just go home can at least eat you could come back right after. “ I  know changkyun wouldn't want you starving yourself.” Han said holding jooheon shoulder “ promise he will still be here when you come back.” the doctor said smiling at jooheon. jooheon nodded standing up ‘i will come back really soon” jooheon said leaving the room. The doctor waved goodbye as he watched jooheon rush out of the room.

Jooheon quickly got in his car he just planned to go home change grab something to eat and bring changkyun a pair of new clothes. He drove in the dark the only thing going through his mind was changkyun what would happen to him now he's gone. He parked his car and jumped out he didn't know how he even got home. one minute he was getting in the car the other he is getting off. He was about to open the door when it flew open.

Won sat on the couch it's been over a day and there was still nothing on jooheon and changkyun. He called some of jooheon friends asking them if they saw him but all of them had no clue. He wanted to call the police when he saw jooheon driving up to the house the way he drove quickly concern won he thought jooheon was drunk and run to open the door. But was met with red eyes and pale skin. “ omg jooheon what happened to you.” he asked worried looking at jooheon. “are you drank.” jooheon ignored his father and run up to his room quickly changing his clothes. Won ran after him asking whats wrong.

Jooheon changed his clothes and went into changkyun room looking for something changkyun could change into. He opened changkyun closet which only had his school uniform. He closed the closet and went to check for clothes in changkyun drawer but there was nothing there. Won come in changkyun looking at jooheon who ran around opening the empty dressers and drawers. “ jooheon what the heck are you doing.” won asked watching his son.

“ where are his clothes why isn't there any here.” jooheon asked holding back tears. “what” won asked confused. “ where is changkyun clothes” he asked anger taking over his voice. “ jooheon I need you to calm down and tell me whats going on here.” jooheon stopped searching and sat down on changkyun bed. Won stood in front of him looking at him waiting for jooheon to say something. “ changkyun is in the hospital.” he said with a shaky voice. “ that's all you're making a big fuss about, because of changkyun being in the hospital.” jooheon looked up at his father biting down on his jaw. “ what do you mean making a big fuss.” jooheon said angrily he held himself back from hitting his dad. “ can you explain yourself.” won asked. “ changkyun has a brain tumor I didn't know about it until he colllasped.” jooheon said covering his face with his hands. Won stood there shock he didn't what to say. “is he okay.” won asked sitting down next to jooheon on changkyun bed. “ I don't know the doctor said the surgery is going to be risky there a very low chance he could survive.” “jooheon i am sorry I didn't know.” won said putting his hand on jooheon back. “ I am not the one you should be apologizing to.” “ I know I should get going to will meet you at the hospital.” won said getting up and leaving.

Jooheon wiped his tears and got up to get some of his clothes for changkyun. When he his arm hit something on the bed he looked down and saw a small notebook. He picked it up and sat back down on the bed. He slowly opened the notebook. The first page he opened to hand his name on it.

To: Jooheon Hyung                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Ever since I found out I had another family and an older brother I was so happy. I mean I was sad and happy at the same time. My mother just died she wasn't really the best mother but I still loved her. And when she died I thought I was going to be all alone. But then I heard I had a father and a brother.  I was so happy I couldn't sleep for days imaging everything I was going to with you. Then I met you and it ended up not being noting I wished you were going to be. But I still loved you even though you were pretty mean but I think that's something about me loving the people who don't love me back like my mother. I just hoped we got a chance to be brothers before dad sends me to Boston. And now I am dying I don't think that chance will ever come. But I hope you at least know I love you hyung.

Jooheon closed the notebook and brought to his chest warm heavy tears run down his cheeks. “ I am sorry kyunie but I promise I will fix this you aren't going anywhere,” he said running to his room to get some clothes for changkyun and running out of the house.he saw his dad waiting for him in the parking lot. “come on I am not letting you drive you're going to get yourself killed.” won said opening the car door for his son.