Chapter 19 “A Covered Truth”

The flat screen showed a man on a verge of tears.

[FLASHBACK]

“JAEJOONG HYUNG!!!” the maknae shouted his lungs as he rushed the lifeless figure on the floor.

“Jae! What’s wrong?!” Yunho immediately rushed to the oldest side and so were the others. Jaejoong’s body was cold and numb, breathless, and the black circle below his eyes made him looked like a corpse.

“CALL AN AMBULANCE!!!” Changmin shouted hysterically as a staff did as he had been told.

“Changmin ah, what’s wrong with Jaejoong hyung?!” Yoochun asked dead worried.

“He’s…he’s…” Changmin couldn’t speak; he felt his tongue betrayed him. He was so dead worried till his heart could stop beating. His tears were flowing out to his cheek, making the others more shocked.

“Hyung! Jaejoong hyung! Open your eyes!” Junsu called desperately.

“JAEJOONG AH!!!”

A staff shouted that the ambulance was there. Yunho took Jaejoong on his back as he ran to the paramedics. The others followed from behind and Junsu began to shed tears.

“Please step back,” 

They did as they had been told, Yunho got into the ambulance while the other used a car to follow.

“His heart rate is low, give him some digoxin…” one of the paramedic spoke.

“No respond from his brain,” another one said.

“Give him some stimulant and keep his breath steady,” one commanded.

“Jae, please hang in there,” Yunho was shedding tears,” Jae, don’t leave us…Please don’t leave me…”

The road to the hospital was dreadly for Yunho, he grasped Jaejoong’s cold palm tightly as he wished the paramedic would stop injecting things to Jaejoong lifeless body. Even though the man was pale and expressionless, Yunho could feel Jaejoong was in so much pain. He wished he could take the pain away, he wished very hard he could substitute himself for Jaejoong.

Meanwhile, Yoochun was driving behind the ambulance, wiping his tears in order to see the road clearly. Junsu was crying hard and Changmin wasn’t better either.

“Please Jae hyung, stay with us…”

[END OF FLASHBACK]

The youngest one that listenened to the message cried his heart content,” I’m sorry…I’m sorry, I should have tell the others about this…I didn’t mean to…I’m sorry…”

Another man wiped his red eyes from the flooded tears, he spoke hoarsely,” It’s not your fault…Changmin ah, it’s my faulth for never realizing Jaejoong hyung’s condition…I’m such a fool…”

[FLASHBACK]

“It’s my entire entire fault…” he kept whispering,” I…I…”

“Changmin-sshi…It’s not your fault…” a well known voice echoed through the hall where the four men shedded their tears.

“Jung…Jungmin-sshi?” Yunho was shocked to see the man there; he was exactly the same person that handled Jaejoong before at another hospital.

“How’s Jaejoong hyung?!” Yoochun bombed with a question that everyone was dead worried about.

“He’s going to be OK, right?” Junsu added.

“Jaejoong is very weak right now but we’re trying our best to stabilize his condition in order to proceed with the prosedure,” Jungmin explained.

“Wait a minute, what procedure? What in the world is wrong with Jaejoong?!” Yunho was devastated.

“I’m sorry for hiding the truth from all of you, it was Jaejoong’s wish…He has benign brain tumor but it is located at an important part of his brain. That’s why he always refused the operation treatment.”

“Why hyung didn’t try the treatment? I mean…It could save his life,” Junsu asked with tears. 

“The percentage for the success is fifty fifty. He said he was afraid of the failure percentage…he still had things to do, he didn’t want to leave this world before redeemed for his sin and the pain that he had caused the others…” Jungmin explained,” He once caused all of his family broke up; he wanted to bring them together once again…”

“But…The break up wasn’t his fault…I and Junsu also chose our own path,” Yoochun said.

“It wasn’t like that in his eyes. He thought he was at fault. No matter how much I told him it wasn’t, he didn’t want to listen. He was so stressed and devastated back there…That’s why he tried to run away from the pain and took ‘them’…”

“What are you talking about?” the maknae finally spoke up a word.

“He took some drugs in order to make the pain in his heart went away…It was only sometime at first but then, it became addiction. I prohibited him from taking drugs anymore but he somehow got it from other doctors. When I knew it, it was too late…He couldn’t survive without the drugs…” 

“I tried my best to make him stop, making him stay at many hospitals and had intensive care. I took him three months to be able to stand up without any drugs. He was back to his sense but the drugs already messed with his body. A week after being released from the hospital, I discoved he had brain tumor.”

“I tried to convince him to do an operation but he didn’t want it because the tumor is located on the speaking part of his brain. If anything went wrong, he could never be able to speak or sing anymore. That’s why he promised to do the operation in one condtion.”

“It’s after he succeeded gather his family members back and stood on the same stage once more…But as you can see, his condition now is far from good.”

All of them were shocked; they never thought something that bad was happening to the oldest one. Jaejoong always seemed fine whenever he was with them, now they knew it was just a cover. The real Jaejoong was fragile and needed protection. He might be the oldest one but that didn’t mean he was the strongest one.

“Why?” Yunho could only whisper that one word.

Another doctor proceeded near them and told them that Jaejoong’s condition was more stable and they should do the operation now, before it’s too late.

“Yunho-sshi, I’m sorry, but can you sign here?” Jungmin asked for the consent,” Jaejoong asked clearly that he want you to be the one that signs it…”

Yunho nodded as he signed the form. The doctors walked away, leaving them there, with more tears and shattered heart. Each of them prayed hardly in their heart that the oldest one would be just fine.

[END OF FLASHBACK]

“No, I’m not suitable for it, I’m the worst person to not realized your condition hyung!!!” a man cried when his name was mentioned. He felt the worst, he sicked of himself to not realizing what was happening to his soulmate.