Chapter 16 “Making a Will”



“Hmm, hyung?” Changmin opened his eyes as he looked around. He was devastated when he couldn’t find Jaejoong anywhere. Then, he saw a note behind the door.

[I’ll be leaving for a while. Don’t worry; I’ll meet someone I can trust. If anything happens I will not be alone then. I will be back before morning. Don’t tell the others, thx Changmin ah^^]

Changmin sighed, he could never beat his Umma. Jaejoong’s behavior was just too shocking sometime. He could act without asking the others. Well, most of them ended up well though.

---


“I already asked the guard,” Jungmin spoke,” You have one hour on the stage…”

“Thank you so much Jungmin ah,” Jaejoong smiled,” Will you come with me inside?”

“Of course but what are you going to do here?” Jungmin was curious.

“Well, making a will…” Jaejoong said as he got up the stage.

“A will?” 

“With this,” Jaejoong showed his camera recorder,” Can you record me?”

“Jae, it’s not like you won’t have the chance to survive by doing the surgery,” Jungmin tried to convince,” You don’t have to do this…”

“But what if I don’t? What if I don’t survive?” Jaejoong asked with a sad voice,” Just…help me, OK?”

“Okay…” Jungmin gave up, he got ready pressed the button,” One…two…three…action.”

“Annyeong,” Jaejoong smile to the camera,” How are you doing? I guess…If you guys seeing this, I’m may no longer in this world…I don’t know…”

“Please don’t cry,” Jaejoong wiped his own tears,” I know you guys must be sad and heartbroken. I just want you guys to know that…the time we spent together all this years were the best in my life. I never thought even once to meet a family like you guys…”

Jaejoong got up to the stage as Jungmin followed, still recording.

“Do you guys remember this place?” Jaejoong asked,” It’s the Budokan Stage, the place where we cried tears of happiness for the first time since we debuted in Japan.”

“I remember when we’re studying Japanese,” Jaejoong reminisced,” Changmin ah, you’re the most fluent one. I’m always proud to be your ‘Umma’. And I’m sorry I burdened you a lot because you’re the only one who knew about my sickness…I’m really sorry, Changmin ah…”

“Be sure to eat healthy and clean food, OK? I wish you find better chef than me to cook for you…Maybe a wife? I can’t wait to see you getting married; I wonder who the lucky girl will be…She must be a good cook!”

“Also Junchan, you natto-freak…I still remember that we ate natto for supper more than one week because of your addiction…Don’t you get bored eating it?” Jaejoong laughed,” But it was cute though…”

“Your gag, Junsu ah…Truthfully, I never find they’re boring, I just want to tease you… Please don’t be mad! I just don’t want you to stop fooling around and lighten the atmosphere…You’re the best dolphin with y duck brother I ever have!”

“Yoochun ah,” Jaejoong walked forward to the edge of the stage,” Do you remember how crybaby you were? You were the one who caused Junsu and Yunho cried in our last song…I even almost cried, but I was still holding on…That side of you, just makes me wants to protect you more. You’re my best soulmate ever…”

“Ahh!” Jaejoong remembered something,” The blue shirt that I borrowed from you is still in my wardrobe. Well, in case you want it back…”

Jaejoong stopped, he never knew the last message would be the hardest one to say,” Yunho ah…”

“I…I’m sorry. I am the oldest one…but you are the one who pressured by being the leader…You’re the one who stand still and strong when we were having hard time…You know you couldn’t cry in public for the sake of our reputation, that’s why sometime you cried silently in the bathroom…”

“Yunho ah, I know I’m asking too much,” Jaejoong stopped as he wiped his tears,” But can you take care of the others once again when I won’t be around anymore?”

Jungmin stayed silent, yet, he was trembling inside and crying even bleeding in heart. He couldn’t bear to see Jaejoong like this; the man was like almost lost of all hope.

“One more thing…”

Jungmin listened to the last message Jaejoong spoke as tears slipped out from the corner of his eyes. Then, he closed the camera.

---


“Hyung!” Changmin jumped from his bed as he hugged Jaejoong,” Where’ve you been?!”

“I’m meeting Jungmin to get some meds,” Jaejoong spoke.

“Your doctor in Korea?” Changmin asked.

“Yes, he’s also my friend and fan, I guess…” Jaejoong yawned,” Let’s go to sleep, shall we? It’s still three o’clock…”

Now everything was clear. Changmin’s suspicion was right; Jungmin was hiding something from them. It was Jaejoong’s sickness and the maknae bet it was Jaejoong’s wish to not tell the others.

“Are you OK, hyung?” Changmin finally asked as he got to his bed.

“Still breathing,” Jaejoong joked.

“Hyung, that’s not funny…”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be lying if I said I’m fine,” Jaejoong spoke as he looked to Changmin across his bed,” I’m in pain Changmin ah…But I can endure it as long as you are here for me…As long as you guys here…”

Changmin wanted to ask more but he knew his hyung needed rest. He closed his eyes as he hoped the next morning he would wake up and found out that he was only having nightmare about Jaejoong was dying. But he knew he wouldn’t.

---


“Chunnie, do you see my vest?” Junsu asked with his high pitch voice.

“Nope, what’s wrong?” Yoochun asked.

“I need to use the vest for the opening act but it is gone!” Junsu was so worried.

“What?” Yunho came into the room; they’re having their final preparation before the concert.

“Where do you put it hyung?” the maknae asked.

“On the sofa before I went to the toilet…” Junsu spoke as he looked around.

“Is that your vest?” Jaejoong, who’s sitting on the chair all the time, pointed to black fabric below the sofa.

“Yes!” Junsu answered,” It must be fallen…Thanks Jaejoong hyung!”

“I did nothing,” Jae spoke,” Just…be careful next time…”

“OK!” Junsu wore his vest,” But…are you OK, hyung?”

Junsu did realize the shadow below Jae’s eyes even though the makeup should have hidden it.

“I’m fine, lack of sleep and a bit tired I guess…” Jaejoong tried to smile.

“Hmm, OK,” Junsu went to the other side of the room, standing beside Yoochun, who’s making his hair for the last time.

“Chunnie ah…” Junsu called,” I don’t feel right…”

“What’s wrong? You lost something again?”

“No, I feel bad…I mean I’m having a bad feeling since this morning…I don’t know why…”

“Maybe because you’re nervous, Junsu ah,” Yunho came in,” Everybody must be waiting for your new gag…”

Junsu sighed as he nodded. He knew what nervous like but this feeling he had now was just not right. He felt like something bad was going to happen. Praying, he hoped all of them would do well till the end. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room…

Jaejoong slipped his hand to his pocket as he picked another pill and shallowed it silently; the maknae caught the sight though. It had been the five times that day Jaejoong had the pill. It should be only three pills per day.

“Hyung, are you sure you’re OK?” Changmin asked worriedly. Jaejoong nodded slightly.

“I’m alright, just don’t tell---“

“I know, I won’t tell,” it was difficult for Changmin to see his hyung speak. It was like it caused Jaejoong pain. The maknae couldn’t think how would Jaejoong dance on the stage later, moreover sang the high note. He knew the stage caused huge voices here and there, whether the loud music or the fan screaming. He also knew huge sound made the pain worse.

“In five minutes!” one of the staff shouted. They could hear the fan already screaming loudly outside.

“Let’s get ready,” the leader spoke as the other followed.

Jaejoong tried to get up from his seat, he almost lost his balance but he managed to follow Yunho. Silently, he just hoped the pain would go away for a sec. He wanted to be able to perform well for s and the fan.

“One minute!”

“Guys,” Yunho called and they gathered together,” Let’s rock the stage! Dong Bang Shin Ki! Tohoshinki! Hwaiting!!!”

They walked toward the light. The cheering was supposed to make Jaejoong’s pain worse but in contrary, he felt like the pain didn’t exist. He smiled as he knew the fan and s were the source of his power, he knew he would beat the pain.

The stage began to rock as the music being played. The dancers already filled the stage as the five men, one by one, came out to the stage, jumping from below. The fans screamed.

And the concert began…