bereavement

Title [10/10]

                Bereavement – okay I really really like this title. Like so freaking much. I think it’s because you’ve actually exposed me to a word I’ve never heard of before. I actually went and googled it to understand it a bit more and see its relationship with your piece. It’s a perfect fit and as a writer who struggles with titles so much, you’ve done a great job in choosing one!

Description and Foreword [7/10]

                Okay, so I totally didn’t see that you had defined the word right in this section. Nevertheless, thank you for including that because it ensures that all your readers will understand the reason for your title. Plus, by adding a definition, it already sets a type of mood and atmosphere for the type of writing readers are about to indulge in. Other than that, you really don’t have much in your description or foreword. I would actually suggest you give a small teaser for this story because while the title is interesting, as a reader I wanted more to draw me into the story. Some type of catchphrase that will certainly make me want to read!  

Plot [13/15]

                This is very strange section to review as in general, you don’t have much of a plot. Your piece is not driven by plot but by all the other sections that I will discuss. Frankly speaking, I’m not sure what I should type here. So, to give marks fairly here, I will judge purely based on whether I thought the plot was interesting: not particularly. There is not much happening, but as I have already mentioned, this is because your piece does not use a plot to make it interesting. Still, it’s a little unsatisfactory in this area so I will (very) reluctantly take marks off. But don’t be discouraged because I will be raving about all your other areas.         

 Character Development [10/10]

                Holy asdf;lkj. Wow. That’s all I have to say for this section. You are by far one of the authors out there in this department. I have so much respect for you as you introduce Mark through the other members. He’s never explicity mentioned, yet through all the other characters we know exactly what type of person he is. Then, it is also through Mark (and his death) that we are able to better understand each of the other members. This flawless intertwine of characterisation is just absolutely breathtaking and gorgeous.

                Thank you.

                I feel like I should give you some type of suggestion so um… Just keep doing you! There really is nothing that is lacking in any of the member’s revelations. You’ve exposed enough for me to understand the type of person they are and you have used each member as a puzzle piece to put together the giant final artwork known as got7.      

Writing Style [20/20]

                I remember when I had received your message about the particular writing style of this piece and it had already intrigued me. This is the first time that I have read anything in this style and I really was curious to see the effect it would have!

                Starting off, I have to express my initial annoyance at it all. The grammar nazi in me was just cringing so much seeing how there were no capitals anywhere. Then, my eyes felt extremely tired searching for the period or other punctuation to see where the end of a sentence may be. Nontheless, I appreciate you exposing me to this! It makes me think of doing something like that myself haha.

                Okay, onto the actual writing style itself, it is so effortlessly elegant. Especially in the beginning as you are introducing each of the characters and you use so metaphors, descriptions, etc… they really set such a beautiful image and the distinct characters of each member. There is so much imagery you’ve painted with your words and it’s stunning.

                There’s not much I can really say in terms of improvement for writing style because I really am in love with it and I think it fits so extremely well with your piece in particular.  

Spelling, Grammar and Diction [25/25]

                Nothing wrong. Nothing wrong at all…. 

Personal Enjoyment [9/10]

                I have no idea why I put reading off your piece for so long! Maybe it’s the fact that I wasn’t hooked into it just by looking at your description, title and poster. (Speaking of which, I think your poster is a little weird. I thought that was a Devil’s Circle in the poster) I have no regrets whatsoever after reading, though! It was so enjoyable and while it may not be exciting, it’s still a piece that plays with my emotions, making me feel quite melancholic afterwards. 

                You are clearly a very talented writer and you have earned yourself a well-deserved spot. Welcome to “My Lounge”!

                Thank you for suggesting me your piece to review! I apologize that I wasn't able to give you more suggestions or pointers, but really, this piece is so well done! Also, sorry that this review is so short... But besides that, I am honoured that I had the chance to read this!