“Sica—“ He frowned. “Please, not this again.” 

“If you want me to stop pestering you then just tell me, damn it!” I stood up, frustrated. “What, are you hiding something? Why are you so afraid to tell me?”

He shook his head. “There’s just no point in bringing up the past, Jessica. Nothing would change if I tell you anyway.”

“I don’t want to change anything!” I shouted, throwing my hands up in the air. “I just want to know who she is and what happened before! Is it so hard for you to just tell me the truth?!” I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. “Fine, then! Whatever! Do whatever you like!” I turned around to walk away but accidentally hit the grill.

“!” I shouted in english as I pulled back my rigt hand. I stared at my scorched hand, it was shaking—I’m not sure if it’s because of the burn or because of my frustration right now. Tears were already forming in my eyes, and I closed my eyes and wiped the tears away with my left hand.

“Sica, are you okay?” Onew asked as he grabbed my hand and stared at my injury.

I pulled my hand away from him. “Don’t touch me.” I hissed and walked towards the house.

“Sica!” He called from behind, but my feet knew better than to stop and listen to him. Instead, I walked without looking back, towards the bathroom. I locked the door, filled the sink with water and plunged my hand inside, letting out a sigh of relief as the pain started to fade away.

I stared blankly into the water with a heavy feeling inside my chest. Why won’t he tell me anything about her? What is he hiding?

I shook my head and pulled my hand out. I started draining the water and got out the bathroom. “I’m going home,” I said as I headed towards the bedroom. “I don’t want to stay here any longer.”

“Sica, let me treat your burn.” Onew called from behind me.

“No.” I answered and started taking clothes out from the cabinet.

He sighed. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going home. I don’t want to stay here with you any longer. You’re irritating, you’re stupid, you’re selfish, and—“

I felt him grab my arm and pull me towards the bed. He pushed my shoulders down. “Sit.” He said and kneeled infront of me. He took my hand and examined the burn. I pulled it back. “I told you not to touch me!” I exclaimed.

“Sunyoung and I were childhood friends,” He said as he started to treat my wound. I stared at him blankly. He’s going to tell me everything now? “My parents and her parents were really great friends too. We played together, grew up together, and we knew each other better than anyone. When we were grade school students, we would often go to her house and study together. Sometimes I would stay there to have dinner, and have a driver pick me up when I have to go home.” He started disinfecting my burn. I winced in pain, but didn’t say anything. “We went to the same high school together. She would often participate in dance competitions, and I would always be there to cheer for her. When we reached our third year, I felt something more than friendship—I had found out that I was inlove with her.”

I bit my lip as I listened. My heart was starting to beat fast, but I dismissed it. Listen to everything. The story’s not yet over. “Just before we graduated high school, I proposed to her.”

Bang. It hit me. My chest was starting to tighten again. My breathing was unstable and my heart was beating fast. “D-did she reject you?” I asked.

He smiled and shook his head. “Ani. She said accepted my proposal. During that time, I was the happiest person alive. I was so happy that I began crying.”

I closed my eyes. My vision was starting to get blurry. “Our parents had happily agreed when they found out that we were going to get married. Our mothers had started to organize the event. Everyone was excited. But no one was excited more than me.”

“W-what happened, then?” I asked—almost whispered. It was suddenly getting hard for me to speak.

He sighed as he applied burn ointment on my hand. My hand started to feel instant relief, but me? I was getting more and more hurt inside. “On the day of our wedding..” He explained as he spread the ointment evenly. “Just a few minutes before the wedding started, I received a letter from her. She apologized; saying she wouldn’t be able to get married. She felt as if everything was too fast. She asked me to wait a little longer. She said she left the country first to fulfill her dreams of being an international star.” He finished applying medicine on my wound and started fixing the first-aid kit.

“I remember how sad I was that day,” He said with a small smile. “I sat beside the altar, until midnight. Jonghyun tried to pull me out the church, telling me it was time to go home, but I shook my head. ‘She will come back,’ I said. ‘I will wait here,’ I said. ‘She wouldn’t leave me.. She couldn’t leave me’.” He explained. He started to stare at the kit. “I was so hurt that day. No, I was hurt for months, even years, maybe..”

“Are you hurt even now?” I asked, slightly hesitating.

He looked at me and slightly tilted his head. “Am I hurt? Yes. Who wouldn’t be?” He answered.

I bit my lip. “But I don’t regret anything.” He said.

I raised my eyebrows, confused. He then held my hand as he stared straight into my eyes. “In fact, I thank her for leaving me that day. Because if she didn’t, I wouldn’t have met you.” He smiled. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jessica. You and Yoogeun.”

This time I wasn’t able to hold back my tears. They started falling from my eyes one by one. I smiled, but the tears continued to fall down.

He smiled at me and wiped my tears with his thumb. He stood up and hugged me.

I stood up and hugged him back. I started to cry. I couldn’t say anything. I wanted to tell him how much I love him, how sorry I am for putting him through so much pain these past few days, how thankful I am because he finally told me everything, but no words would come out of my mouth.

“Shh..” He comforted, patting my back lightly. “I’m sorry for not telling this to you earlier.”

I shook my head and pulled away from the hug. “No, it doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” I smiled.

He wiped my tears again and kissed my forehead. “ I love you, Jessica. I love you and Yoogeun. I would never ever leave the both of you for anything. Not even her. She’s nothing to me now.”

I didn’t answer and instead, pulled him against me and kissed his lips. These lips—I’ve forgotten how soft these lips are. His arms enclosed me as he lifted me onto the bed, one hand soon sliding under my—or rather, his shirt.

Every nerve in my body lit up—after everything that had happened, after every argument and after holding this back for so long, I felt like I needed this—we needed this. The both of us needed this so bad that our clothes had come of faster than it usually does. Every touch, every kiss—it completed me. Every part of me that felt empty these past few days have been filled up by the only person who was capable of doing it—that one person whom I have been pushing away these past few days.

When we finally finished, the both of us held each other tightly as though closing the distance now would make up for the distance that had been between us for the past few days.