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Our meal was awfully quiet. 

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No matter how many times you look at it, we didn’t seem like a couple. Even if he was only an arm's length away from me, there was always a vast distance between us. It is just how I wanted it to be, to draw a clear line so that they will not cross.

And Baekhyun was a perfect candidate to convey my message to the others. You can’t blame me for doing this, in the first place it was they who were trying to pursue me.

Taking turns to pick me up and bringing me to school. Being nice to me, worrying about me, getting on my parents' good side. Chanyeol’s jealousy, Minseok’s present, Jongdae’s so-called ‘confession’, Jongin playing the hero, Sehun’s kiss. If they were to keep it up, I’m afraid my heart cannot handle if all of this was a lie.

In the end, it was better to deceive people than to be deceived. I don’t want to hurt them but if both parties did not have any feelings for each other, how can anyone get hurt? The best option was to keep a distance. 

I can be kind.

I can be forgiving.

I can even fall in love with you.

But as long as I know that there is a distance, I won’t get hurt.

This is the best option for me. Compared to them, the power difference is too vast. And I am not talking about the contrast between men and women, or the wealth gap. When you float on a hot air balloon the higher you go up the more you will fall later on. The question is between the two of us, who will handle the landing better?

If I were to fail, what will happen to my family? It doesn’t matter if I became poor, losing all my status, having my reputation ruin. But can my parent handle such a thing? I have no intention of hurting anyone, especially my sister.

You cannot have everything.

There were too many consequences for me to make such a leap.

Even if you were to ask me a thousand times to choose between the unknown love or my family? The answer is always the same. 

In a way we both were very similar, growing up in high society, like me, they were probably were taught to not falter at any challenges when it comes to our goals. They wore it perfectly, the masked smile every time I rejected them. If you were sincere about your feelings to someone, you would not wear such a smile. Like the rest of them, I cannot tell what is Baekhyun is thinking after I told him my feeling.

He had acted as if nothing had happened. Ordering for food in a polite tone with the waiter and ate his food in a content face. Afterward, he proposed we go on a walk before going home.

We walked silently beside each other, it was just the two of us. 

The weather was nice, it was a full moon today and because it is March, cherry blossoms were in full bloom.

How romantic…

My husband had done a great job of picking a good spot for us to have an intimate dinner. From A to Z he did not miss a single point, however it to bad that our feelings fo