Hello to everyone!~ How are you guys doing? /shamelessly asking after months not updating/ ^^'

I'm so sorry for the lack of update as some of you have already known, I'm busy with studying and stuff. Haha, now only i got the opportunity to update after 2/3 months? haha I also forgot about it...... ^^"

Anyway, my deep apology for this. Hopefully this long and exciting much chapter would ease down your anger huhu... I see lot's of response from the preview. ;)

 

Enjoy guys~~ I can say that.. yeah this is the . xD

 

P.S= No song recommended bcoz I'm dead of ideas for it.

P.S= italics are flashback

 

    When people said it’s the calm before the storm, he has never thought that it’s going to be this calm.     Everything is supposed to be normal, and it is. But then the normality that Hanbin thought would last forever turns out to be a camouflage hiding the true nature of catastrophe.   He remembers well what happened last night. How the maknae and him lying side by side cuddling each other on the bed as both of them chatting away through the empty night accompanied with their laughter. The sight of the younger smiling his beautiful smile to him was one that Hanbin treasured the most; just a smiling and happy Chanwoo that could brighten his day no matter how cloudy nor raining it was.   Then the childishness in them came out with tickles and pokes Hanbin gave on the younger boy before Chanwoo’s yelp of pain broke all the cloud nine away. He was worried, of course, but then Chanwoo laughed at him saying that it was only a joke. He wanted to believe it to be a joke so badly but he couldn’t. Not even the laughter Chanwoo emitted could ease his anxious heart. Because he had a hunch that the maknae was actually in pain. He just knew it. He could feel it. But when Chanwoo brushed him off convincing him that he was fine, Hanbin forced himself to believe in that. No matter how hard it was and slept the worries away.   With a troubled heart, he dreamed of the days and nights they spent together in secret; the cuddles in the room of the monster twins, the time they were in the studio, the walks they had around the park at midnight when everyone was sleeping and it was only them with eyes wide awake. He also dreamed of Chanwoo’s face when he woke up beside him a few mornings they had a chance to slip away. The serenity of the maknae’s face, the feel of his soft lips on Hanbin’s and how delicate his skin beneath his fingertips. Everything was a bliss though now his heart felt heavy.   Then he was woken up with an unpleasant sound in a form of what he made out as wheezing. Despite the vague sleepiness clouding his mind, he could recognize the sound as clear and loud as the thunderstorm. In a mere seconds Hanbin was fully awake, eyes widened in horror trying to make out the figure writhing in pain beside him in the dark. And he was right, the sound belonged to the younger. He didn’t even need a light to see how Chanwoo wriggled around in pain while he had his hands clutching somewhere Hanbin couldn’t exactly tell.   “Chanwoo?” Hanbin called for the maknae but the only answer he got was a chain of groan and whimper. He the light then. Under the dim light, he could finally see where Chanwoo’s hands were holding to. The maknae had them clutching tightly on his stomach whilst he moaned in utter pain. He was sweating bucket and face a flushing red. Hanbin waited no more as he punched the red button in a speed of light and without much thinking grabbed the maknae. He held him close, arms securing the younger hoping for the invisible pain to go away.   Chanwoo couldn’t stop groaning in pain while Hanbin was devastated as he waited for the doctor to come. He couldn’t find the inner peace within himself to stay calm anymore. Crying was what he wanted to do. Just curl up in tears and anguish but he knew it best that he couldn’t and he shouldn’t. Chanwoo needed him though he himself was lost on what was happening when the maknae was all well and healthy a few hours ago. He just couldn’t understand what could have gone wrong.   Watching how his precious someone fighting his pain in utter helplessness turned him crazier. The back of his eyes were burning badly and so did his heart. He whispered words of comfort into Chanwoo’s ear hoping for it to help eased down the pain. “It’s okay” was what he kept on saying. Whether the words were meant for Chanwoo or himself he had no idea. Even when the doctor and nurses arrived in complete bizarreness, the words hadn’t die down. Only when he was released from the maknae by force and shoved outside the ward that he stopped muttering them. The cold air in the hallway made him able to think again but his soul was no longer with him.   It was inside; his soul, with his other half as an assurance to the younger that he was not fighting alone. Whether Chanwoo knew it or not, Hanbin was always with him.   . . . . .   He has been waiting for exactly 20 minutes but the doctor is still inside. From the look on how the nurses keep coming in and out of the room, running along the hallway only for them to return with a few big and weird equipment in their hands, it only means 2 things; that it’s going to take a much longer time or Chanwoo’s condition is serious. Or it could be both. He could tell that it’s a battlefield inside the ward judging by the loud sound of the heart monitor hollering in the air and a few other sounds of machine that he can’t tell what it is. But in whole, it’s not good and probably not going to be good.   He waits outside the room with a thin layer of patience. Head falls between his hands in utter defeat and frustration. He doesn’t know what to do nor what to think. For the first time ever, Hanbin is completely lost. He’s not as lost as he is right now when he was in Show Me The Money. This feeling of hopelessness is something that’s unbeatable. Everything is unfolding too fast and heart throbbing for him to handle. He wonders silently how is Chanwoo doing in the room. Is he okay? What’s going on? What’s happening? There are too many thoughts he has that brings nothing but only trouble to his mind and soul.    What will happen to Chanwoo?   In desperation and utter helplessness, he calls for the members. How cracking his voice sounds like when he speaks to Jinhwan is something that he doesn’t want to think about. After the call ends; with utmost difficulty since the other members also want to talk to him about the maknae, Hanbin does nothing other than waiting again. The door is still closed shut.   He waits and waits and waits, waiting all along again until after a few minutes later, Jinhwan and Donghyuk show up first. The oldest tells him that the others are catching up from behind with their manager in the company van. Before his eyes, Hanbin could see how the two are engraved in deep worries. Their forehead creases in resemblances as they ask him what is happening to the maknae, calmly yet desperately. But Hanbin doesn’t know. He couldn’t answer them nor answering himself who has been wondering the exact same things too; what is happening to the maknae until he becomes like this? It’s killing every living cells of Hanbin to not knowing anything about the younger while he sits outside like a total fool.   Jinhwan takes a seat next to him as he wraps the leader safely in his embrace. He knows how lost, confused, angry and sad Hanbin is with all the things happening. On their sides is Donghyuk who is seen to be on the verge of tears though he holds it up well. In silence, the 3 waits for the others to come and also for the door to open.           The doctor diagnoses Chanwoo with Acute Liver Failure instead of a severe fever from a virus. The news is devastating to hear enough to make the members break down in tears of disbelief and shock. The sound of it doesn’t even make sense to them. It strikes on them like a lighting when the younger’s disease is revealed. Moreover, to hear that Chanwoo right now is critical and he needs a surgery to keep on alive. At least, a liver donor.   He is placed in the ICU instead of a normal ward and no one can accompany him through the night anymore. Not even his mother, not even his father. And for sure not even Hanbin then. Everyone takes the news in a bad way but for Hanbin, he’s the worst. He couldn’t even utter a single word after he heard what the doctor said. He doesn’t blink a tears, doesn’t even talk nor sigh at all. He only stares at Chanwoo’s face from behind the glass outside as he closely monitors the younger inside the ICU.   Others are very much worried about him. Instead of him crying, it’s Jinhwan that is shedding tears watching how broken Hanbin is. It’s Donghyuk that weeps harder than anyone could as he breaks down in Bobby’s embrace. Yunhyeong’s strings of whimpers only make it all worsen and Junhoe’s sobs are overwhelmingly killing. But the leader’s silence is the dead point of everything. When Chanwoo’s family arrives, the only reaction he gives is only a nod of his head when the maknae’s mother hugs him asking for him to be strong for the members. He draws a small smile on his lips to reassure the crying lady though in the others’ eyes, he is bawling himself inside. He just smiles before he returns back to his current self; unresponsive. More practically, dead.   It has been discussed that it would either be Chanwoo’s dad or his brother that would donor half their liver for the maknae. But then the doctor asks for them to hold on to the procedure, saying that there is something else other than a liver failure from the test they have conducted. On him. The sound of it makes all of them chewing the inside of their cheeks in anxious. “We’ve spotted an abnormal increase of creatinine in his blood level. For now, the liver transplant surgery needs to be hold up for a further examination. I hope you can be patient for a little bit longer.” The doctor says that when they are all waiting for the younger before the ICU room. And so they wait then, for what to come next in the picture.   Although the members can do nothing to help, but they hope Chanwoo will be just fine as they pray for the younger’s health and safety.   They all hope for that. For Chanwoo to be just fine again.           Hanbin is losing count on how many tears he has spilled for the day. How red his eyes when he is standing alongside s listening to what the doctor explains to all of them about the maknae’s real condition. How shaking his legs and body are when the truth is revealed right in front of them all. He doesn’t cry that time when everybody is but among all of them, no one can beat the pain he felt.   It’s breaking into pieces, his heart. It can no longer be fixed. The same goes to Chanwoo’s liver. It’s something that is beyond fix already. The solution to save him is there, but the chances is nowhere for it to be fulfilled.   He watches in complete helplessness when Chanwoo’s mother faints in her husband’s arms. The pale skin of Yang Hyun Suk when he is there listening to the doctor is on par with the paleness of the maknae’s knuckles holding tight his abdomen this early dawn. Yunhyeong takes the news the worst; he stumbles to the ground and shamelessly sobbing thinking about the fate of his beloved younger ‘twin’ brother. He got Donghyuk beside him to match up to his whimpers.   On the other hand, Junhoe is weeping out in Bobby’s arms while Jinhwan is there beside Hanbin. The oldest cries his tears alone with a few sobs unintentionally escape his mouth. Everybody is a mess, including Hanbin himself though he only barely shows it with a few droplets of colorless fluid wetting his cheeks.   And in his mind there is only one word written; Unfair……...           He only sits there on the cold hard dark-blue chair, mind sprawling nowhere in a tangle of mess. He doesn't know what to do or what he should have done nor even what he could have in the first place to prevent all of these catastrophe from repeating its violent cycles.   The words don’t stop from ringing inside his ears, over and over again mercilessly. It feels like there is someone putting a broken tape inside his head that he can no longer stopping it from making noises. Noises and words and sentences he wishes he could throw far away from his mind.   As he's too stressed up, staring at the white greenish wall in devastating silence, a figure comes inside the waiting hall taking a seat right next to him. Glancing to the side acknowledging the other’s presence, he sees how Junhoe’s face has no difference than the one he has approximately an hour ago. All pale yet there is a bright tint of red on his sharp nose and around his eyes. The eye bags below them are in a contrast dark color. He's crying too much for God's sake Hanbin could tell.   “Hyung….” Junhoe is the first to put a halt to the heavy solitary in the air but it's no use. No words are out from Hanbin’s mouth at all, not even a reaction. He's too absorbed in his own little messed up mind. Instinctively, Junhoe is developed in silence too. At times Hanbin could catch on the hitches of breath the