This is a very long chapter.... But, the fluff, romance, everything in it, trust me you will never ever regret it! (I'm being 210% positive on it xD)

You will have more ChanBin here, Jinhwan hyung turning lunatic and a very emotional(?) Dongdong. On what? You'll see ;)

/sigh/ well it's 3:40 am here what would you expect from me other than a sigh? i got to skip my exercise routine to stay up this long to write this but I think I'll have no regret. (make me have none, comments and upvote please!!!) ==" I have to go out tomorrow (which is in another few hours) to go and buy my things for University. Yeah people you heard me, I'm leaving .... T^T

 

Okay enough rambling, I really need to sleep now and damn! (sorry cursing) I love this one trust me! xD

Have fun!!!! ;)

 

 

 

 

(not a fan of 1D but this song is just awwww) xD

 

 

 

And it all makes sense to me     It’s a virus. That is what the doctor told them an hour ago about Chanwoo’s condition. He said he has probably got it during their stay in Nanjing, ‘too much exposure to the country’s air’ was what he said, something about the air nowadays are not that good anymore all over the places. For now, Chanwoo is placed in the normal ward but the surveillance the hospital has on him is strict; the nurses keep coming in and out from the room for the past few minutes to check on him. It feels like all of the members are disturbing their work thus only Jinhwan and Donghyuk stay in the room accompanying the maknae while the others wait outside in the waiting area.   It was quite bizarre to explain the situation when they were on their way to the hospital earlier. The air in the van had never been that heavy. Halfway through the road Donghyuk was crying, no one knew the reason though all of them had the inkling on it somehow. Bobby had to hold him close and assured him that it would be just fine. Junhwe beside them was all quiet but he looked anxious than the usual, more anxious than when the first time they had to perform for Bigbang’s Dome Tour.   Jinhwan and Yunhyeong were so tensed and worried. They had frowns on their faces, expressions grimmer than ever. A few times Hanbin caught the oldest wiping the corner of his eyes secretively with the back of his hand. Perhaps Jinhwan didn’t want to add much tension if the others saw him crying. Meanwhile for the leader, well for sure like the usual of course Hanbin would act all tough but in the inside which nobody knew –he thought–, he was the one breaking apart the most.   They had to wait in the waiting area while Chanwoo was sent to the ER. There were other families in the waiting area too, waiting and praying for their beloved ones’ safety. The boys did the same things. The seconds that ticked by was driving them crazy, agitation growing bigger and bigger and so did their dark thoughts. Only after the doctor came out from the room approaching them they had the air back to their lungs giving the oxygen they had been neglecting.   The doctor said it’s because of severe fatigue due to lack of rest. Chanwoo also suffers a few inflammations of joints and muscles because of the practices he has for a constant long time without stopping. Hanbin’s fault; he is the one forcing the younger to keep dancing and practicing until all of them have perfected the moves. Once again, he feels guilty for he is the cause for the maknae’s pain.   Chanwoo has to be admitted until the doctor is convinced that his condition is stable enough. For the moment, the younger needs to stay for a few more days in case of anything unwanted happens. Not that any of them can complain on that. Besides, Yang Hyun Suk has agreed to it. He is here just now signing a few papers replacing Chanwoo’s parents as his legal guardian since they are still in Yongin visiting Chanwoo’s sick grandfather.   None of them really care about the cancellation of the schedules. Truthfully, they are even tired of it already. A few day rest is what the members needed the most after all the hard works they have done for the past few months since debut. The only thing conquering their minds right now is the maknae. They want Chanwoo to get better soon so that he can at least talk to them and tell them that everything is alright, that he is alright. Hanbin particularly needs that reassurance the most.   He doesn’t know for how long he has been sitting there but then when Jinhwan comes to him he realizes that he is indeed alone. There is no one in the waiting area anymore except for the lady behind the receptionist desk minding her own business without giving even a glance to her surroundings. Jinhwan takes the seat beside him on the sofa, his left hand rests on Hanbin’s lap with eyes staring intently on the leader’s face with the most unreadable expression that Hanbin can’t break on about. If there is anything that Hanbin can make out from his hyung’s face, it’s that there is something that Jinhwan knows and he at least wants to talk about it but he can’t, or wouldn’t.   “Don’t you want to go inside and see him?” Jinhwan asks him softly. He rubs his hand that is rested on Hanbin’s lap producing some heats that make the leader feels comfortable and less cold. The air conditioner in the room is at its coldest and if Hanbin stays for another hour, he would be covered in ice for sure.   Of course Hanbin wants to, damn he wants it so badly to see the younger. To know about his condition, to make sure with his own eyes that Chanwoo is all well and fine. But somehow, he has no strength to do that. The overwhelming guilt and shock are hindering his body and free will power to move. He gives a small smile to Jinhwan, a half-sincere half-dishonest one but he just has the knowledge that for some kind of a reason the older will surely could see through his façade. “I’ll go later hyung. Let the others see him first.” Hanbin answers.   Surprisingly Jinhwan doesn’t say anything. He just sits there, accompanying Hanbin in complete silence that is agonizing for the younger to uphold. Hanbin thoughts that maybe Jinhwan is tired since none of them clearly haven’t recovered from the shock hours ago in the dorm.   His mind is travelling elsewhere with the silence growing thicker. So when words come out from Jinhwan, it takes him by surprised. “I saw you back there, Hanbin.” It takes the said man off guard to suddenly hear his name being called to. He turns all his attention to Jinhwan who is sitting on his right, face expressionless and appearance looks so cold but then weirdly, there is something in his demeanor that shows how well-informed Jinhwan is or simply to say, he seems like he knows everything that there is about to be known yet not supposed to be known.   “Saw what, hyung?” Although there is a certain fear slowly gripping his heart, Hanbin still asks.   “I saw how you acted back then when Chanwoo started to have those …. spasm or whatever they call it.” Jinhwan’s hands flailing through the air, equally frustrated for he wants to explain the younger condition but he doesn’t know how or what to call it. He’s a singer, not a doctor and apparently medical theories and words have never suited him well. “You are different, and that is not the first time I saw it you know.” By the time Jinhwan finishes his word, it’s his turn to face Hanbin and he can see how awfully bad the leader tries to control his emotions so that it won’t flashed through his face but fails miserably. Jinhwan can see so well behind those masks he desperately put up to cover up his real intention, his real thoughts and feelings.   It saddens Jinhwan to know that Hanbin can be this secretive even to him, the person in which Hanbin has been spending half of his lifetime with together.   “What’s different? I don’t understand you hyung.” The leader fakes his expression so well and asks him back with the so much cold tone he possesses. Only if Hanbin knows how useless all of those are when Jinhwan still can see clearly what’s in his heart and mind.   “Come on, Hanbin-ah. You don’t have to lie to me. Heck, you even can’t do that.” Jinhwan mocks him, trying to at least get some reactions from him but Hanbin still refuses to give in. “You think I don’t notice it? You really think that none of us actually notice all of it?” He pauses for a while, watching the twitch of Hanbin’s eyebrows and how his eyes grow slightly; very slightly bigger in an inch but Jinhwan can still notice it, how darken his face becomes when the words sink into his mind.   “All of those secret gazes both of you throw to each other during photoshoots and interviews, the signals and hand gestures during concerts, the time when you would come inside the fitting room just because you want to help Chanwoo fixes his shirt when the stylist hyung can do it just fine.” Jinhwan takes a breath, he uses the opportunity to see behind Hanbin’s eyes and he mentally dances victoriously when the orbs of the leader shaking faintly. “When you sneak out from your room into Yunhyeong and maknae’s room every 2 nights’ interval then you return to yours before dawn, you think I didn’t see it? I was there hiding behind the cabinet watching you entering his room then never left until morning.”   Hanbin can’t help but to furrow his eyebrows on how and why on earth would Jinhwan hides behind …. a cabinet? “The way you look at Chanwoo almost all the time when everyone is not paying attention, and your different behavior around him, seriously you think I didn’t notice all of it?”   Jinhwan doesn’t care anymore how his voice raised a notch bit when reaching the end or that he is talking too much. He doesn’t care how the receptionist lady is watching them with a skeptical look. He doesn’t give a damn about anything anymore other than how Hanbin is trembling from head to toe hearing him pointing out all the things that he has been doing in secret with the maknae. Hanbin has the dumbest expression he can ever pull off, the face when he is confused and clueless and so lost that it takes a minute for his thoughts to finally be sorted through. Jinhwan sees that a lot, knows so well the leader’s characters like the back of his hand. This flabbergasted reaction from him is not something that he doesn’t foresee.   “H-how did y-you …...” And there he is; the stuttering Hanbin finally shows up and Jinhwan acknowledges it silently how he has halfway winning against the fight. Looks like his strategy is working; to make the younger confesses and stop pretending and hiding things like how the maknae and him have been doing all the time.   “Why? Are you surprised?” Jinhwan jeers at Hanbin, it’s a lie to say that he doesn’t feel betrayed with all the lies the two have been making up to. “I’m not dumb, Hanbin-ah. I can see it very clearly. Even Junhwe notices it. It’s just that you are so naïve and fool to think that no one would never be able to see it. But you’re wrong, you have always been wrong.” There is nothing could describe Hanbin’s state of mind other than confusion and bewilderment. It’s puzzling him so much on how other can notice it, how his Jinhwan hyung out of all the people to know it. To see everything behind the act. It seems like one of his fears has come to life.   He opens his mouth to say something only to shut it back. He really has no idea on how to fight back, to say that all the things Jinhwan said is wrong and that the older is only making his own assumptions that is far from the truth. But who is he to lie to Jinhwan? He is the most matured and smartest in the group after all. Besides, Hanbin knows that lying to the older is pointless. He knows him too well. Sometimes Jinhwan knows Hanbin even well than he knows himself.   Hanbin keeps opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of the water. It somehow brings a winning smile onto Jinhwan’s lips knowing that he has won the war. “I will take the silence as your confession.” He says with the smile still lingering on his lips. It makes Hanbin even more frustrated, to know that all the covers have been blown up. He leans himself forward with hands rubbing his face in utter defeat and exhaustion followed by a heavy sigh.   “How the hell did you notice it, hyung?”   A chuckle left Jinhwan’s mouth when he hears Hanbin says those. “Well, I think it’s time for you to bury it deeply in the back of your stupid head that I am not a fool.” Hanbin let out another big sigh exhaling the air out of him. Jinhwan’s left hand moves to the younger’s head and he pats on it softly like a mother giving her love touches to her son. The smile before on him change into a soft and understanding one. Jinhwan looks really like a mother right now.   “You are different. You acted differently especially when it comes to Chanwoo. And anyone with eyes can see that, Hanbin-ah.” Jinhwan’s hand keeps patting on Hanbin’s head, giving reassurance to the frustrated and equally surprised leader on the revelation. He opts to say nothing and just let Jinhwan continues on patting his head in comfort. He let the older keeps talking.   “If you think that I’m angry, yes I am. But not because of your relationship.” Jinhwan’s words pick on Hanbin’s interest. But his head is still in his hands and stays down. He just listens. “I am angry because that you didn’t tell me about you guys dating each other. That is the thing that I don’t approve of. At least you could have told someone. If it’s not me, then Jiwon.”   “And then what?” Hanbin asks, sounds mocking. His scoff can be heard as clear as the day.   “Then nothing. Just tell us. Nothing will happen much after that.”   Hanbin stays quiet hearing Jinhwan. His mind is running on miles thinking of something. Jinhwan’s pats has already stopped.   “Do you think we will tell somebody about it?” Jinhwan eventually asks the thing that he has been wanting to ask for so long already. There is a pain inflicted in his voice when he said it. Hanbin takes notice of it and a pang of guilt hits him again.   “NO!!” He finally lifts his head up abruptly. Face contorts in disbelief then it changes to another guilt-stricken expression when he sees the flash of sadness and disappointment in Jinhwan’s orbs. The last things that he would ever encounter from his fellow members’ eyes. “It’s not like that hyung!” He says, half-shouting but the pitch is still endurable.   “Then what is it, Hanbin-ah? Why wouldn’t you tell us? Because you don’t trust us? Your own members?” Jinhwan’s questions are literally sending Hanbin to the edge. That is definitely not the reason on why he keeps it a secret from them.   “It’s just ….” He trails off for seconds. Another heavy sigh escapes from him in a very exaggerated way. “I-I’m afraid, hyung.” He let out.   “On what?! Why would you be afraid?” Jinhwan grits his teeth while asking the question to the leader. He can feel his patience is drawing thinner.   “I’m afraid that all of you would feel …. disgust.” He whispers on the last word but fortunately it’s audible enough for Jinhwan to hear. It’s proven when the older has the most bemused expression on his face. But he doesn’t say anything, yet. “I’m afraid if you guys would hate it or worst feel disgust with it, with us. You know that I can’t bear such thing from all of you if it does happen right? I just can’t—I know that I can never live with it.” Hanbin confesses to Jinhwan after all the times he has been struggling to keep it a secret from the boys. His heart is hammering through his chest anticipating the older reaction to his confession. He feels scared if Jinhwan would be angrier than he already has.   Unsurprisingly, Jinhwan is angry. “WHAT?! That’s it?! That is your stupid reason for stupidly fooling us all?!” And yeah, Jinhwan is very angry that Hanbin can see the smoke coming out from his ears and nose. He looks like ready to be on a killing spree over Hanbin for sure. From the corner of Hanbin’s eyes, he sees the receptionist lady giving them her most judging look. But it seems like Jinhwan doesn’t even care anymore. His vision is clouded with anger over the poor leader who is fidgeting in his seat watching how mad Jinhwan has become.   “What do you take us for?! We are your members! For God’s sake your own members! We’re brothers, family. And you can just make such a stupid speculation on us like that?! Just like that?! Seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, KIM HANBIN?!”   “Be quiet please, this is a hospital.” With just that, the two fall into a deep silence but Jinhwan’s flare of anger has not finished, not just yet. And Hanbin is officially very scared of him right now.   “Please hyung, don’t get mad at me! It’s not my fault for thinking like that.” He says defending his poor self. His words only adding up Jinhwan’s rage unfortunately.   “Not your fault you said?! Oh God, please help me because you don’t even know how I want it so much to strangle you to death right now, Hanbin!” Jinhwan when he is mad is something that Hanbin finds it very much intimidating and fearful. The older has his eyes glaring and throwing fire daggers at him while his point finger keeps pointing to him dangerously as if his small digit could turn